So I got a player that I’ve had a couple times and played with and tend to dislike his play style of back talking the DM and doing whatever he wants because he claims it’s what his character would do, I generally try to treat everyone with respect at my table and expect the same but he seems to ignore that rule often so I’m running a new campaign that is essentially my very first homebrew campaign done over and he wants to play it but I’m saying that I don’t want him in the campaign, but am I in the wrong for denying the ability to play or am I right with stopping his continued bad behavior?
Your game, you decide. You don't have to tolerate bad players, or players that make a habit of being disrespectful through passive-aggressive behavior. That bad behavior can spread to other players. Don't risk it. Plenty of players dying to get into games.
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Husband, Father, Veteran, Gamer, DM, Player, and Friend | Author of the "World of Eirador" | http://world-guild.com "The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules." ~Gary Gygax
Well, what I can say from my own experiences (I'm still a novice, though) is that tabletop RPG is a group activity. So the players have to know that interacting with other people is a key part of the activity. If you already had an open and honest conversation with him about the things that bother you and he still chooses to ignore it, or does not present any justifiable reasons to do so (my character is a jerkface, and I don't think I should face consequences for that is not a really good justification in my opinion), I think it might be a good idea to take some time apart, really. Just for curiosity's sake, how do the other players interact with this person? Is there a problem only with you or does it make other people uncomfortable too?
I already had a backseat DM in my homebrew campaign and it was EXHAUSTING. DMing becomes more stressful than fun. I actually dreaded the start of a session instead of being excited. I guess as DMs, we try to make nice campaigns and our main objective is for the players to have fun. And in this process we kind of forget that we are part of the group too. We should be having fun too, you know? Since I stopped DMing to these problems players and started with a new group, the sessions are fun again and waiting for them seems to take too long. And dealing with problem players so they have a chance to change, or go to another group and stop bothering your non-ass players is also part of the DMs roles. It is hard, but i think it's better than dragging out an uncomfortable situation longer than it s healthy for you or other players.
Tell then the issue. And talk to the others. If they're annoyed, then make sure you all help stop them. If not, tell them that they won't play with you if they don't abide by your rules. But only as a last resort.
It may seem slightly 'babyish', but making them have three chances a game means you can have more control. Once the chances are up, then say that their character has time off. Doing down time, exploring something else. Or you control them. If they don't use any chances one game, then next game take the amount of chances down by one. If they use half the amount of chances, put it back up.
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'The Cleverness of mushrooms always surprises me!' - Ivern Bramblefoot.
You’re under no obligation to allow anyone to play in your game. Some GMs have what amounts to an open-door policy where anyone who wants to play is welcome. Others put a lot of thought into what kind of player would be the best fit for their game and don’t invite people who wouldn’t jive with the campaign.
I have good friends whom I will not invite to my main game because they’re just not a good fit. If you think this player is going to disrupt your game in a way you don’t find enjoyable, don’t invite them to play with you.
What you might consider is telling him why. I don’t think you owe him an explanation, necessarily. But it might be good to tell him. He may not realize what he’s doing, and someone saying something might help in the long term. Or, it might just make him angry, obviously you know the guy and I don’t.
You've "had a player a couple of times"? You've lucked into an opportunity to be rid of someone who's game doesn't mesh with yours. Sorry. Tables full.
So I got a player that I’ve had a couple times and played with and tend to dislike his play style of back talking the DM and doing whatever he wants because he claims it’s what his character would do, I generally try to treat everyone with respect at my table and expect the same but he seems to ignore that rule often so I’m running a new campaign that is essentially my very first homebrew campaign done over and he wants to play it but I’m saying that I don’t want him in the campaign, but am I in the wrong for denying the ability to play or am I right with stopping his continued bad behavior?
Your game, you decide. You don't have to tolerate bad players, or players that make a habit of being disrespectful through passive-aggressive behavior. That bad behavior can spread to other players. Don't risk it. Plenty of players dying to get into games.
Husband, Father, Veteran, Gamer, DM, Player, and Friend | Author of the "World of Eirador" | http://world-guild.com
"The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules." ~Gary Gygax
Well, what I can say from my own experiences (I'm still a novice, though) is that tabletop RPG is a group activity. So the players have to know that interacting with other people is a key part of the activity. If you already had an open and honest conversation with him about the things that bother you and he still chooses to ignore it, or does not present any justifiable reasons to do so (my character is a jerkface, and I don't think I should face consequences for that is not a really good justification in my opinion), I think it might be a good idea to take some time apart, really. Just for curiosity's sake, how do the other players interact with this person? Is there a problem only with you or does it make other people uncomfortable too?
I already had a backseat DM in my homebrew campaign and it was EXHAUSTING. DMing becomes more stressful than fun. I actually dreaded the start of a session instead of being excited. I guess as DMs, we try to make nice campaigns and our main objective is for the players to have fun. And in this process we kind of forget that we are part of the group too. We should be having fun too, you know? Since I stopped DMing to these problems players and started with a new group, the sessions are fun again and waiting for them seems to take too long. And dealing with problem players so they have a chance to change, or go to another group and stop bothering your non-ass players is also part of the DMs roles. It is hard, but i think it's better than dragging out an uncomfortable situation longer than it s healthy for you or other players.
Tell then the issue. And talk to the others. If they're annoyed, then make sure you all help stop them. If not, tell them that they won't play with you if they don't abide by your rules. But only as a last resort.
It may seem slightly 'babyish', but making them have three chances a game means you can have more control. Once the chances are up, then say that their character has time off. Doing down time, exploring something else. Or you control them. If they don't use any chances one game, then next game take the amount of chances down by one. If they use half the amount of chances, put it back up.
'The Cleverness of mushrooms always surprises me!' - Ivern Bramblefoot.
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You’re under no obligation to allow anyone to play in your game. Some GMs have what amounts to an open-door policy where anyone who wants to play is welcome. Others put a lot of thought into what kind of player would be the best fit for their game and don’t invite people who wouldn’t jive with the campaign.
I have good friends whom I will not invite to my main game because they’re just not a good fit. If you think this player is going to disrupt your game in a way you don’t find enjoyable, don’t invite them to play with you.
I agree with everyone, there’s no obligation.
What you might consider is telling him why. I don’t think you owe him an explanation, necessarily. But it might be good to tell him. He may not realize what he’s doing, and someone saying something might help in the long term. Or, it might just make him angry, obviously you know the guy and I don’t.
You've "had a player a couple of times"? You've lucked into an opportunity to be rid of someone who's game doesn't mesh with yours. Sorry. Tables full.
Tell him. First, as an advice. Then, as a warning. If he keeps on playing like this... kick him from your table.
Good luck