Hello, I'm a pretty new DM, and a while ago a group of players reached out to me. Their DM couldn't run sessions anymore and they needed a DM. They are friends with each other, so I also don't want to mess with their friendship dynamic too much. Anyways, the player who reached out to me initially asked me if I would have complex villains that aren't fundamentally evil, and I said yes and kept that in mind. One house rule I have, especially for new characters is no evil PCs allowed, since I think it leads to selfish characters most of the time. I've set up a conflict between elves and humans where neither are exactly evil, and both have some justification. So this guy creates an elven wizard who hates humans, believes they are evil, and wants to go to war to take over human land. I figure this could be interesting as I show elves can also be evil and later will give him chances to empathize with humans, but he has shown no inclination towards that. But it's his character and he can go in the direction he wants, and as long as he doesn't end up burning down human orphanages I'm not too fussed.
The main issue is that the character keeps doing selfish things to steer the party where he wants. For instance, the party wanted to short rest and then cross a river, he wanted to long rest and cross the river the next day, so he sent out his familiar, saw no monsters, then told everyone he saw some ogres and they should probably rest there. Or he convinced the party to use a significant portion of party funds to get him new armor, and he has yet to enter melee (he's a wizard). The one thing I did talk to the group about (not calling him out in particular) is his habit of, both in and out of character, constantly telling other PCs what to do. Not suggestions or requests just "you should get closer"; "You should heal me"; "take my horse across" etc. I mentioned it near the end of last session, and he was receptive to it, so I do have hope. I'm just not sure if the issue is that he's playing a certain kind of character that isn't my preference and as DM I just have to get over it? Or is it something I need to address? My thought would be to do it privately, but I'm not sure if it would be good to ask the other players about it first. I don't want to bring it up if none of the other players are bothered, but it also feels weird to talk about him with other people, especially since they're all friends.
I would always bring this up with them privately, I make a point to have everyone contact information, whether it be cell number, email, discord or whatsapp, shoot them a private message and allow them the time to reflect on it and respond without putting them on the spot before a session. I find more people are receptive to communicate if they dont feel like they are being put on the spot.
*edit*
one of the hardest jobs of being a DM is making sure everyone is having fun. Also the universe as odd ways of fighting back, ways that can't be easily explained... ;) "who knows when and how someone pick pocketed all your gold? Your passive perception is pretty low. You didnt see anything, its all gone..."
It's tough as the outsider to DM for a group of existing friends. Presumably they like the offending player more than they like you, at least for right now till they get to know you... so there is a chance if you have to lower the boom on this guy, they all get mad at you.
Not saying don't deal with it (you have to). Just something to watch out for.
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WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
If the group is having fun, then this guy is doing nothing wrong that you as the dm need to address. As the dm it is not your job to worry about social justice, assuming the group is cool with what is going on. If a group of adventures want to do a short rest, but only send the wizards familiar to scout and they take his word for it about ogres then by all means good for the wizard, he gets his long rest.
Now if the players are not having fun then I would agree you need to talk with this guy, and I would do it privately. Most likely if these people are all friends they would say something to him on their own, again I don't feel its your job as the dm to fix all the problems, especially in a group you got asked to dm for and, I am assuming, not a large part of their inner circle.
Curious how that familiar deception went. Did you privately give the wizard the info? Or did the rest of the players fully well know he was lying, but role play that their characters did not know?
It can be appropriate for PCs to insight check each other in this situation. But I would wait until they request it. Then roll a contested deception vs. insight check, but make clear that the existence of this roll doesn’t imply it’s a lie. If insight wins, reveal if it’s true or a lie, but if deception wins, it might be a lie or the truth.
How would the other characters react to these anti-social acts? It could be a problem if any reasonable character would confront him about it, but the players are not assertive enough to do so. If so, you can again substitute dice and the characters’ stats for the players’ own personalities. When the elf tells someone else to do something, have a charisma roll-off. If the other character wins, say, “Your character doesn’t feel like being pushed around.” You don’t have to take their player agency. They can still come around to deciding to play it like the elf suggested, but you are encouraging them to role play some push back.
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Hello, I'm a pretty new DM, and a while ago a group of players reached out to me. Their DM couldn't run sessions anymore and they needed a DM. They are friends with each other, so I also don't want to mess with their friendship dynamic too much. Anyways, the player who reached out to me initially asked me if I would have complex villains that aren't fundamentally evil, and I said yes and kept that in mind. One house rule I have, especially for new characters is no evil PCs allowed, since I think it leads to selfish characters most of the time. I've set up a conflict between elves and humans where neither are exactly evil, and both have some justification. So this guy creates an elven wizard who hates humans, believes they are evil, and wants to go to war to take over human land. I figure this could be interesting as I show elves can also be evil and later will give him chances to empathize with humans, but he has shown no inclination towards that. But it's his character and he can go in the direction he wants, and as long as he doesn't end up burning down human orphanages I'm not too fussed.
The main issue is that the character keeps doing selfish things to steer the party where he wants. For instance, the party wanted to short rest and then cross a river, he wanted to long rest and cross the river the next day, so he sent out his familiar, saw no monsters, then told everyone he saw some ogres and they should probably rest there. Or he convinced the party to use a significant portion of party funds to get him new armor, and he has yet to enter melee (he's a wizard). The one thing I did talk to the group about (not calling him out in particular) is his habit of, both in and out of character, constantly telling other PCs what to do. Not suggestions or requests just "you should get closer"; "You should heal me"; "take my horse across" etc. I mentioned it near the end of last session, and he was receptive to it, so I do have hope. I'm just not sure if the issue is that he's playing a certain kind of character that isn't my preference and as DM I just have to get over it? Or is it something I need to address? My thought would be to do it privately, but I'm not sure if it would be good to ask the other players about it first. I don't want to bring it up if none of the other players are bothered, but it also feels weird to talk about him with other people, especially since they're all friends.
Advice please!
I would always bring this up with them privately, I make a point to have everyone contact information, whether it be cell number, email, discord or whatsapp, shoot them a private message and allow them the time to reflect on it and respond without putting them on the spot before a session. I find more people are receptive to communicate if they dont feel like they are being put on the spot.
*edit*
one of the hardest jobs of being a DM is making sure everyone is having fun. Also the universe as odd ways of fighting back, ways that can't be easily explained... ;) "who knows when and how someone pick pocketed all your gold? Your passive perception is pretty low. You didnt see anything, its all gone..."
It's tough as the outsider to DM for a group of existing friends. Presumably they like the offending player more than they like you, at least for right now till they get to know you... so there is a chance if you have to lower the boom on this guy, they all get mad at you.
Not saying don't deal with it (you have to). Just something to watch out for.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
If the group is having fun, then this guy is doing nothing wrong that you as the dm need to address. As the dm it is not your job to worry about social justice, assuming the group is cool with what is going on. If a group of adventures want to do a short rest, but only send the wizards familiar to scout and they take his word for it about ogres then by all means good for the wizard, he gets his long rest.
Now if the players are not having fun then I would agree you need to talk with this guy, and I would do it privately. Most likely if these people are all friends they would say something to him on their own, again I don't feel its your job as the dm to fix all the problems, especially in a group you got asked to dm for and, I am assuming, not a large part of their inner circle.
Curious how that familiar deception went. Did you privately give the wizard the info? Or did the rest of the players fully well know he was lying, but role play that their characters did not know?
It can be appropriate for PCs to insight check each other in this situation. But I would wait until they request it. Then roll a contested deception vs. insight check, but make clear that the existence of this roll doesn’t imply it’s a lie. If insight wins, reveal if it’s true or a lie, but if deception wins, it might be a lie or the truth.
How would the other characters react to these anti-social acts? It could be a problem if any reasonable character would confront him about it, but the players are not assertive enough to do so. If so, you can again substitute dice and the characters’ stats for the players’ own personalities. When the elf tells someone else to do something, have a charisma roll-off. If the other character wins, say, “Your character doesn’t feel like being pushed around.” You don’t have to take their player agency. They can still come around to deciding to play it like the elf suggested, but you are encouraging them to role play some push back.