I’m starting to feel very discouraged. I have several severe autoimmune disorders, which make running the game harder than normal, and scheduling even harder than that. I can’t guarantee, or even predict, whether I’ll have enough spoons on Monday at 1:00 pm to run a four-hour session. (If you haven’t heard of Spoon Theory, this link explains it: https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ )
Part of Lupus (only one of my many diagnoses!) is an extremely adverse reaction to sunlight; it makes my immune system attack my vital organs and skin; thus this time of year is the worst for me and my energy and pain. Running D&D is the only thing that keeps me sane, but I’ve been so sick lately that our games are becoming somewhat sporadic. It wouldn’t be a problem if my players didn’t have real lives, but as it is, there is only a relatively short window in each day that I’m feeling well enough to run, and only a couple of days each week that all my players can make it. Obviously real life takes precedence, but it’s really hard for me to resign myself to it; my own schedule requires extreme (almost ridiculous) flexibility, because my health is so unpredictable. Even a change in the barometric pressure can drop me for a couple of days from sheer pain.
I’m sorry for the rambling and complaining. My point is, my mental health is taking a nosedive, and I’m struggling to accept that my players can’t just drop everything on Tuesday at 3:45 pm to play a 1 1/2 hour session, just because I just happen to have enough spoons. Are there any other DMs out there who deal with these kinds of issues? If so, how? Taking a break probably isn’t a good idea for me right now, because D&D is the only thing holding me together.
Again, I’m sorry for the complaining. I’m just feeling very depressed and discouraged.
I'm so sorry to hear of the health issues that you have, and that you are finding it so difficult right now. I don't have any comparable experience, I just wanted to say that I wish you well, and I hope that things look up for you soon.
Have you considered a Play By Post game? It might give you an outlet for your love of D&D that isn't affected by the conditions you experience. There's a forum on this site that you could look at. It's not the same as playing around a table, but if playing around a table (or a virtual table) isn't viable right now then maybe it's something that could tide you over.
I’ve thought about it, and investigated the idea, but I can’t seem to figure out how to use the dice rolling system. Maybe I’ll take another crack at it when I’m feeling a bit better.
Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it. 🙂
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I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
Do you run in person sessions? Would it be easier to run virtual sessions? I don't really know what all is involved but am sorry to hear of your health issues.
I wish I could offer better advice, but at least let me offer best wishes and encouragement. Stay strong.
I’ve thought about it, and investigated the idea, but I can’t seem to figure out how to use the dice rolling system. Maybe I’ll take another crack at it when I’m feeling a bit better.
Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it. 🙂
Here's a thread on how to use the Dice Roller. I hope it helps, and good luck finding a game!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
The article on Spoon Theory had me crying. I understand it all too well.
I have problems, both mental and physical, that very much limit my ability to function in the real world. I always go to D&D as something to distract me from what is frankly a miserable existence. I have a lot of time on my own hands, but none of my friends do. They have real lives and things more important to do than play games. I play online and I DM if nobody else will. We get about 3 hours per session, once or maybe twice a week.
It's difficult. We never have started on time. I'm always there before the start time, some others do so, one won't ever show up until we start playing, and our DM invariably starts running the game and says "be right back, I need to make dinner".
You have every reason to feel discouraged.
Is there anyone else you can pass the DM Hat to? If so, spend time as a player. If not watch some fun movies like The Princess Bride or Lord of the Rings if you can. You have to spend a spoon for each movie to do it, so most likely only one per day, but it's probably worth it and might help you be less discouraged. See if people are willing to play online in some way. Get a Discord server and play over that. It lets everyone stay home and be as comfortable as they can be. Maybe not as much help for you, but it's something.
You might consider taking a break from the forums. There are people like me in here, and I'm often very critical. Spend the spoon to watch a movie instead. Read a short story. Look on the net for a picture of a favorite character.
Have you thought about trying some one-shots on roll20? They are often people looking for players or games. And if you find a GM you like, you can seek out their games. Or you can run a one shot there. It won’t let you get into long term character development, but might give you an outlet, and you can drop in or out as you are able.
I’ve thought about it, and investigated the idea, but I can’t seem to figure out how to use the dice rolling system. Maybe I’ll take another crack at it when I’m feeling a bit better.
Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it. 🙂
Here's a thread on how to use the Dice Roller. I hope it helps, and good luck finding a game!
The article on Spoon Theory had me crying. I understand it all too well.
I have problems, both mental and physical, that very much limit my ability to function in the real world. I always go to D&D as something to distract me from what is frankly a miserable existence. I have a lot of time on my own hands, but none of my friends do. They have real lives and things more important to do than play games. I play online and I DM if nobody else will. We get about 3 hours per session, once or maybe twice a week.
It's difficult. We never have started on time. I'm always there before the start time, some others do so, one won't ever show up until we start playing, and our DM invariably starts running the game and says "be right back, I need to make dinner".
You have every reason to feel discouraged.
Is there anyone else you can pass the DM Hat to? If so, spend time as a player. If not watch some fun movies like The Princess Bride or Lord of the Rings if you can. You have to spend a spoon for each movie to do it, so most likely only one per day, but it's probably worth it and might help you be less discouraged. See if people are willing to play online in some way. Get a Discord server and play over that. It lets everyone stay home and be as comfortable as they can be. Maybe not as much help for you, but it's something.
You might consider taking a break from the forums. There are people like me in here, and I'm often very critical. Spend the spoon to watch a movie instead. Read a short story. Look on the net for a picture of a favorite character.
I’m glad the article was validating for you! I share it with almost everyone I meet, because I’ve never found a better metaphor than that!
Unfortunately, there is no one else able to be the DM amongst my acquaintance. We do actually use a discord video chat server, as one of my players is out of state, and he’s actually almost as severely disabled as I am. Another player is also disabled, but as she lives with me, attendance isn’t super hard for her, either. The problem there, of course, is because both of them have spoons to manage as well, but they have the flexibility to play whenever I’m up for it. My other three players are more or less normal (as far as health goes, anyway!).
I have thought about taking a break from the forums. I decided a compromise would be better: I read the funny, intellectual, and light-hearted threads, but not the ones where people are arguing or discussing heavy topics. This way I can still enjoy the feeling of being part of the community without taking on unnecessary stress.
Have you thought about trying some one-shots on roll20? They are often people looking for players or games. And if you find a GM you like, you can seek out their games. Or you can run a one shot there. It won’t let you get into long term character development, but might give you an outlet, and you can drop in or out as you are able.
I’ll look into it. Thank you. 🙂
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
I have degenerative disk disease which causes chronic pain in my lower back that radiates down both legs and Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria w Angioedema which can cause rapid swelling as well as hives on my skin and internally in my intestines. I run both my current campaigns on Foundry VTT and use Dungeondraft to make the maps. I have found that it can be easier to get groups together virtually because they can log into my Foundry VTT server from anywhere as long as they have a laptop or a PC. And I personally find map making to be very soothing and somewhat therapeutic when we aren't playing.
For the sake of avoiding thread drift, I won’t ask you guys about your lifelong medical histories (🙄😉)! I am curious, though, how you got started as Dungeon Masters? I’ve always been curious as to how others with chronic illness/pain drag up enough spoons to become DMs.
For me, it was desperation. Four years ago last spring, I started playing D&D at a local game store, and discovered that it was an incredible boon to my mental health. I pushed myself through the exhausting, painful 4 hour long sessions because I loved it! After about a year, the game store cut back on its D&D games to make way for Magic players, so I joined a private game run by a DM I already knew. Sadly, the atmosphere of that game became extremely toxic, and I chose to leave. My health (mental and physical) took a nosedive. Finally, about six months ago, I decided on a whim to try running a module, since I had always wanted to try it anyways, and it worked! It hasn’t been easy, and my stupid, f****d up body has been throwing as many curveballs as possible at me, but I love it!
So how did you get started? I want to hear stories!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
I have never had a serious medical condition ever in my life that I can remember, besides bad hearing caused by listening to music too loud. But anyways I started DMing bc at the time I was still new to the game and wanted to play with my friends, but I was the only one with really any experience at all..... to this day I am still the forever DM.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
my name is not Bryce
Actor
Certified Dark Sun enjoyer
usually on forum games and not contributing to conversations ¯\_ (ツ)_/
For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
D&D has been part of my life since high school and while I did have some issues, nothing major was harming me back then. I started out mostly as a DM, because I was the only one in my circle who had the time and inclination to read the books. I was a DM for a couple decades before I was seriously afflicted. When I was, it became more important than ever. The worse I got, the more I needed something I *could* do. I had lots of limitations. I play to this day. Not a whole lot of spoons, but probably more than many so hard off as I am. I have the luxury of time and am not in pain as long as I don't press my limits for long.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
<Insert clever signature here>
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I’m starting to feel very discouraged. I have several severe autoimmune disorders, which make running the game harder than normal, and scheduling even harder than that. I can’t guarantee, or even predict, whether I’ll have enough spoons on Monday at 1:00 pm to run a four-hour session. (If you haven’t heard of Spoon Theory, this link explains it: https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ )
Part of Lupus (only one of my many diagnoses!) is an extremely adverse reaction to sunlight; it makes my immune system attack my vital organs and skin; thus this time of year is the worst for me and my energy and pain. Running D&D is the only thing that keeps me sane, but I’ve been so sick lately that our games are becoming somewhat sporadic. It wouldn’t be a problem if my players didn’t have real lives, but as it is, there is only a relatively short window in each day that I’m feeling well enough to run, and only a couple of days each week that all my players can make it. Obviously real life takes precedence, but it’s really hard for me to resign myself to it; my own schedule requires extreme (almost ridiculous) flexibility, because my health is so unpredictable. Even a change in the barometric pressure can drop me for a couple of days from sheer pain.
I’m sorry for the rambling and complaining. My point is, my mental health is taking a nosedive, and I’m struggling to accept that my players can’t just drop everything on Tuesday at 3:45 pm to play a 1 1/2 hour session, just because I just happen to have enough spoons. Are there any other DMs out there who deal with these kinds of issues? If so, how? Taking a break probably isn’t a good idea for me right now, because D&D is the only thing holding me together.
Again, I’m sorry for the complaining. I’m just feeling very depressed and discouraged.
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
I'm so sorry to hear of the health issues that you have, and that you are finding it so difficult right now. I don't have any comparable experience, I just wanted to say that I wish you well, and I hope that things look up for you soon.
Have you considered a Play By Post game? It might give you an outlet for your love of D&D that isn't affected by the conditions you experience. There's a forum on this site that you could look at. It's not the same as playing around a table, but if playing around a table (or a virtual table) isn't viable right now then maybe it's something that could tide you over.
I’ve thought about it, and investigated the idea, but I can’t seem to figure out how to use the dice rolling system. Maybe I’ll take another crack at it when I’m feeling a bit better.
Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it. 🙂
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
Do you run in person sessions? Would it be easier to run virtual sessions? I don't really know what all is involved but am sorry to hear of your health issues.
I wish I could offer better advice, but at least let me offer best wishes and encouragement. Stay strong.
Here's a thread on how to use the Dice Roller. I hope it helps, and good luck finding a game!
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
The article on Spoon Theory had me crying. I understand it all too well.
I have problems, both mental and physical, that very much limit my ability to function in the real world. I always go to D&D as something to distract me from what is frankly a miserable existence. I have a lot of time on my own hands, but none of my friends do. They have real lives and things more important to do than play games. I play online and I DM if nobody else will. We get about 3 hours per session, once or maybe twice a week.
It's difficult. We never have started on time. I'm always there before the start time, some others do so, one won't ever show up until we start playing, and our DM invariably starts running the game and says "be right back, I need to make dinner".
You have every reason to feel discouraged.
Is there anyone else you can pass the DM Hat to? If so, spend time as a player. If not watch some fun movies like The Princess Bride or Lord of the Rings if you can. You have to spend a spoon for each movie to do it, so most likely only one per day, but it's probably worth it and might help you be less discouraged. See if people are willing to play online in some way. Get a Discord server and play over that. It lets everyone stay home and be as comfortable as they can be. Maybe not as much help for you, but it's something.
You might consider taking a break from the forums. There are people like me in here, and I'm often very critical. Spend the spoon to watch a movie instead. Read a short story. Look on the net for a picture of a favorite character.
<Insert clever signature here>
Have you thought about trying some one-shots on roll20? They are often people looking for players or games. And if you find a GM you like, you can seek out their games. Or you can run a one shot there. It won’t let you get into long term character development, but might give you an outlet, and you can drop in or out as you are able.
Thanks, I’ll take a look at it soon!
I’m glad the article was validating for you! I share it with almost everyone I meet, because I’ve never found a better metaphor than that!
Unfortunately, there is no one else able to be the DM amongst my acquaintance. We do actually use a discord video chat server, as one of my players is out of state, and he’s actually almost as severely disabled as I am. Another player is also disabled, but as she lives with me, attendance isn’t super hard for her, either. The problem there, of course, is because both of them have spoons to manage as well, but they have the flexibility to play whenever I’m up for it. My other three players are more or less normal (as far as health goes, anyway!).
I have thought about taking a break from the forums. I decided a compromise would be better: I read the funny, intellectual, and light-hearted threads, but not the ones where people are arguing or discussing heavy topics. This way I can still enjoy the feeling of being part of the community without taking on unnecessary stress.
I’ll look into it. Thank you. 🙂
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
I have degenerative disk disease which causes chronic pain in my lower back that radiates down both legs and Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria w Angioedema which can cause rapid swelling as well as hives on my skin and internally in my intestines. I run both my current campaigns on Foundry VTT and use Dungeondraft to make the maps. I have found that it can be easier to get groups together virtually because they can log into my Foundry VTT server from anywhere as long as they have a laptop or a PC. And I personally find map making to be very soothing and somewhat therapeutic when we aren't playing.
For the sake of avoiding thread drift, I won’t ask you guys about your lifelong medical histories (🙄😉)! I am curious, though, how you got started as Dungeon Masters? I’ve always been curious as to how others with chronic illness/pain drag up enough spoons to become DMs.
For me, it was desperation. Four years ago last spring, I started playing D&D at a local game store, and discovered that it was an incredible boon to my mental health. I pushed myself through the exhausting, painful 4 hour long sessions because I loved it! After about a year, the game store cut back on its D&D games to make way for Magic players, so I joined a private game run by a DM I already knew. Sadly, the atmosphere of that game became extremely toxic, and I chose to leave. My health (mental and physical) took a nosedive. Finally, about six months ago, I decided on a whim to try running a module, since I had always wanted to try it anyways, and it worked! It hasn’t been easy, and my stupid, f****d up body has been throwing as many curveballs as possible at me, but I love it!
So how did you get started? I want to hear stories!
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
I have never had a serious medical condition ever in my life that I can remember, besides bad hearing caused by listening to music too loud. But anyways I started DMing bc at the time I was still new to the game and wanted to play with my friends, but I was the only one with really any experience at all..... to this day I am still the forever DM.
my name is not Bryce
Actor
Certified Dark Sun enjoyer
usually on forum games and not contributing to conversations ¯\_ (ツ)_/
For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
D&D has been part of my life since high school and while I did have some issues, nothing major was harming me back then. I started out mostly as a DM, because I was the only one in my circle who had the time and inclination to read the books. I was a DM for a couple decades before I was seriously afflicted. When I was, it became more important than ever. The worse I got, the more I needed something I *could* do. I had lots of limitations. I play to this day. Not a whole lot of spoons, but probably more than many so hard off as I am. I have the luxury of time and am not in pain as long as I don't press my limits for long.
<Insert clever signature here>