Greetings all

I’m brand new to DMing; almost embarrassed to say I’ve been studying the gameplay for approximately 11 months now & have yet to play a single game

Finally got a group to pull together in my home state of New Jersey however, our meet ups have been challenged by late arrival & early departures

My first Session Zero (which sounds funny because I had to have a second “session zero”) was stifled by 2 of 5 players arriving 3 1/2 hours late… 1 player surprisingly having to leave 3 hours earlier than what we as a group agreed upon & another player leaving 2 hours earlier

Needless to say we didn’t get through our Session Zero

3 weeks later (agreed on bi-weekly games since 1 of 5 felt overwhelmed by a weekly commitment) our 2 week game had to be postponed a week

To which every player showed up at least 25 minutes late w/ the exception of 1 player who showed up 3 hours late

Still didn’t finish our Session Zero 2.0

Also, my players are now barely responsive in our group texts & it’s pretty safe for me to assume none of them have read (studied) any of the PHB which I’ve given them all digital access to over the course of the 3.5 months it has taken me to wrangle this group up

Sorry for this “encyclopedia” but my question here is there anything you think I could add to my new set of House Rules I’ve now placed on this group in hopes to curb late arrivals?

Here’s what I came up w/ so far

Also looking to add some type of XP penalties as well to stifle level advancement for players who are showing serious lack of commitment:

House Rules

30 minute grace period for late arrivals

Player to roll w/ disadvantage for every 10 minutes late to session

Hard start on the ¼ hour once all 5 players are present

2 hour game play

30 minute break for lunch & snacks after first hour

Inspiration will be given to players who show up on time

BYO: polyhedral dice, note pad / iPad, miniature & dice tray

personally in my opinion as a DM punishing your players for being late is only going to drive them to possibly just never showing up at all, i dont know there personal lives and if they get punished for being late due to things out of there control, for example like traffic, then its severely going to sour there gaming experience, XP penalties in my opinion is a massively bad idea as that can make the group seriously unbalanced between each other, cause jealousy among players and could make the group seriously under leveled for anything you have planned, as for them reading the rule book, i have 6 players in my group, im the only one who has read the PHB and even then i basically skimmed it but keep it on hand at all times in case i need to look something up so i can help my players through the rules, we have had a campaign going now for coming up on 2 years, the first few sessions, especially combat, was a little slow at first getting everyone up to speed on how the mechanics worked but well all got there eventually and now things run rather smoothly, i dont know if your running a homebrew story or module but for a first time DM and first time players, i HIGHLY suggest running them through lost mines of phandelver, i did this as my first story and honestly, helped me out GREATLY and it even has a part in the story that can be used to EASILY link to another story

TLDR: dont punish your players for being late and if there uninterested its better to find a different group who is rather then force people to play a game that they dont want to

How long are your sessions supposed to be? 3 1/2 hours isn't "sorry I'm late", that's "I missed the game."

I would be looking for different players. What you're describing shows a major lack of interest, and definitely won't be helped by punishing them on top of it.

If session zero is taking as long as all that, you have too many optional rules or something.  Use a default setting.  Play the game as written.  Use a published adventure before trying anything else.  Session zero, 30 minutes tops.

Are you sure they actually want to play? It sounds a little like they are passive-aggressively avoiding it (I'm a NJ native, and realize passive-aggressive isn't really a thing we do, but it can happen). Are they chronically late to other things, or just this?

That said, my group has a couple people who are routinely 25-30 minutes late. He typically finishes work just before, and does his best. Its something we've gotten used to. People have jobs and families, and sometimes things come up that they have to prioritize over D&D. We've just kind of learned to roll with it.

I agree with the others about not penalizing them. Maybe instead have a talk about it. Explain the amount of work DMing is, and that its really inconsiderate for them to waste your time by not showing up. If the guilt trip doesn't work, then yeah, find other players. Or maybe look for an AL game near you, and join it as a player, so you can at least give it a try.

Goal:

Let your friends/players see you DM an actual game so they can understand how awesome you are for crafting a story to share with them.

Plan:

Run a one shot adventure so the commitment is low. Give them a clear goal as characters (that are built to serve that goal) and set them loose! They'll see who you are as a DM and over the course of a few one shots figure out if they want to commit to more with a storyline that's persistent.

Right now you are asking them to bet on something you've never been able to share with them. You are going to do great, but they need a safe way to see it without feeling overwhelmed by the commitment.

It sound a lot like these players don’t want to play. Also, don’t punish characters for out of game issues. Ask them why they are being late. Are they intentionally trying to ruin your game and be turds or are they busy? If they just aren’t interested get new players. I once had a player who just did not like the game and kept getting distracted. I payed no attention and he just stopped coming and the game was ruined. I should have replaced him immediately. So, in your game you need to be careful with who you let in your game. It sounds like these players are not interested or want to ruin your game. Ask them why. If they are busy, reschedule. If they are just being turds, kick them out. If they are not interested also kick them out.  Also if they just forgot, remind them the day before the game so they are not late.

We did what was supposed to be full character builds

The optional rules discussed took about 20 minutes because they didn't really know any of the rules to begin with

Optional rules came from the DMG

The thing is that it has taken me 3½ months (literally... as in no exaggeration) to corral this group

Many people whom I've tried to introduce this game to can't seem to grasp the concept of D&D then automatically write it off as being "weird"

"How is this a game where you just sit around & talk... & nobody wins?"

Definitely not built for creating a homebrew... like not even close I'm afraid

I've been studying & plan on running DoIP as our first adventure

Then probably backtracking to LMoP

I didn't realize the chronological order until after it was too late w/ me putting a lot of time & effort into my notes for DoIP

Thanks all for the advice which pretty much seems to echo the same sentiment

I'll take it all into consideration for sure as I have 2 whole weeks to do so before our next scheduled session

Wish me luck w/ my decision & my group coming through for game play 🤞🏾

I'll most likely take the general consensus of advice: don't punish my players

But as for finding new players... I promise you, this will be a huge challenge for me believe it or not 😓

😅 I just have (or had) a lot of time on my hands

But, more so, couldn't convince my friends to actually take the time to both learn how to play or just jump in & play

Since discovering this game & fully understanding what this game is & the game play

I've literally stopped playing video games & stopped watching TV... damn near stopped making music as well

Only made music when I absolutely had to

All of my "free time" went into me reading the books...

Also, my compulsive personality dove in deep & I wound up buying 24 (or 27) of the WoTC books within a 2 week span so I just went crazy reading

Funny thing is 80% of my collection I haven't even cracked open

I literally opened Waterdeep: Dragon Heist today for the first time... made it to page 4 & was floored by the artwork... then closed it & went back to the DMG

Yup... I'm a weirdo alright 🙃

Don't do penalties. They are counterproductive in that they will only make the situation worse.

Offer some bonuses to those who are there on time (ingame stuff like inspiration or bennies, table stuff like cold drinks and sweets). Don't save anything for latecomers unless they have given you good warning of their lateness.

Start playing on time. This makes the "punishment" for late players being simply that they get to play less game. If there was something their character should have been doing during that time, well, their character was obviously off doing something else. No going back in time, no retcons. Also don't spend a lot of time bringing late players up to speed on what happened. Give them a short recap, otherwise they'll turn from "showing up late" to "not showing up at all.

However, make it easy on anyone and don't plan combats for the first 15 minutes of the session.

https://rpg.stackexchange.com/questions/14631/dealing-with-people-who-turn-up-late-for-sessions

This is great... & an alternative way of handling with maintaining everyone else's sentiments in here

Thanks... I think I'll try this: no penalties but rather bonuses for those who show up on time

I didn't think I could start a game without all players present... I guess I have more reading to do

Any idea where I could find what to do if players don't show up or show up late?

Now that I think about it, I vaguely recall an excerpt in one of the books addressing this issue 🤔 

Edit: I see you've included a link ⛓ Thanks Greenstone 🙏🏾

I've now taken the late penalty out of my House Rules iOS note I share w/ the group

But I'm almost positive none of my players have noticed yet

Do you think handing out Inspiration to those who arrive on time is enough of a "reward" or "bennie" if that's what a "bennie" is

(I haven't looked up that term yet as it was completely new to me until about 10 minutes ago)

Was thinking maybe I could reward 5 or 10gp to the on time arrivals... 

Am I doing too much here? 🤔

From experience they are new players stick to the basic rules as written and don’t use the extra rules from DMG. 

I never ask new players to read the PHB, instead I let them dive in and explain what to do, if they are enjoying it then usually by session 3-4 they will ask to borrow it/bought it. 

For DOIP with new players session 0 is 10 mins and then just start, work things out with the players as they do stuff, learn the rules as you go. Don’t ask for back stories for characters even. Just roll up the characters and dive in with whoever has shown up. 

Oh and never punish a players for turning up late, if they want to be there then they will do there best but life happens. 

Maybe look for a group you can be a player with to get a feel for things, 11 months to get DOIP running is a long time. You might need to reach outside your circle of friends to find local players. 

I try very hard to not use negative reinforcement in my games. The object is to make your players *want* to be there, not to implement reasons to be absent. It didn't work when I had detention in H.S., don't think much has changed since then. Punishment comes in the form of "I missed out on the epic fun-time".

Player buy-in is important. Surround yourself with people that want to support you in this and are genuinely interested in the hobby. Even those that are curious can be beneficial in convincing others. Run something as soon as you can with whomever shows up. Give them a reason to come back - a hook.

Fun is rarely had by a new player when they are told to "do their homework". Pregen characters are great tools for teaching and learning. Not too much time spent in the crunch of the game rules, plenty of time "test driving the new car". Again, I second the idea of getting whoever shows up in the middle of a game as soon as they arrive. The idea of the "Hot Start" can be used to dump your party straight into the action without the tedium of the buildup. Get em in, set em down, set the narrative stage and roll initiative. 

Teach as you go. Players tell you what and how they want their character to act, you decide what mechanic to use to resolve that action. Dice are rolled. Outcome revealed. Requiring someone without full buy-in to the hobby to invest time in something that they may not stick with is a tough ask. 

I can easily see that you are full-on *IN* to D&D. Your friends seem to be a little apprehensive yet. Find a way to show them the enjoyment that you get from the game and allow them to grow into the idea of being weird with friends.

You creating fun for your friends is the ultimate goal. Best of luck!  

Never, ever try to solve an out of game problem with in-game penalties. Treat this like any other situation where you've arranged to do something for people.

First up, this group doesn't sound like they're that fussed about playing D&D and are wasting your time. I'd talk to the group, explain that your time is valuable and being late is disrespectful. If they don't think that they can make it on time, then they cannot commit to playing your game and you need to replace them. An occasional 25 minutes running late is one thing, missing hours of a session is another. Value yourself, and your time, as you would for any other social engagement.

If they can't arrive on time, ditch the group and find a group who does want to play. You don't need them to have read the PhB, only relevant parts for their character, and you can arbitrate the rules.

No D&D is better than Bad D&D.

Some of the people around here have decades of experience with D&D in it's various incarnations.  Some have been playing 5th edition since it came out.  Every one on of them has told you the same thing.  Try listening to some of them.

When you sit down with each player for the first time start out with helping them make a character.  Each person will need a fair amount of time, so schedule each person some time for this and don't run Session Zero until everyone is set up.

At session zero, all you really need to do is tell them how the adventure starts out, so they can cooperate on things like how their characters got together in the first place.  Saying "You all meet in a Tavern" is the classic way to start because it works.

For your first adventure, run the game with none of the optional rules from the DMG, do not allow feats or multi-classing from the player's handbook, and start out at level 1.  Until you have experience, you must keep things simple, since you don't know what will happen until *after* you have played.  No amount of research can replace practical experience.

To directly discuss the topic at hand, if you don't want people to be tardy, give them rewards.  Buy a pizza, some drinks, and maybe some additional snacks.  Makes sure to have a comfortable and distraction free environment.  Someone else watching TV in another room is unhelpful at best.  They will probably bring phones and you will need to allow them time for calls.  Busy people with limited amounts of time aren't likely to appreciate it if you penalize them.

The reward for being on time is getting the full amount of play time available. The penalty for showing up late, it missing out on events and loot. It's an already built in penalty, you don't have to enhance it.

Like most (all) folks have already said, do NOT give penalties to players if they are late. The one who shows up three hours late will eventually find something else to do. You should be able to find players that will show up regularly, make your game for them.