The campaign has not started yet, and recently this player has started saying slurs that he can't reclaim and showing not even an ounce of remorse for it. I've talked with two of the other players, they don't know what to do either. I am inclined to remove him from the future campaign but don't know how to do it. What should I do? (sorry if this isnt the right place to ask about this.)
A situation like that you have no choice but to face it head on and just talk to him directly and say your language and attitude is unacceptable at my table and you are no longer welcome here. As DM your first and primary responsibility is to create a environment where people can feel comfortable and safe to have fun and if someone is throwing around slurs that the rest of the players are not comfortable with, then it is seriously detracting from the enjoyment of everyone else, and has shown no remorse or inclination to stop, he's got to go. With that kind of behavior there can be no ambiguity or hedging about it, it is your table, it is your ultimate decision what and who is welcome there. AND I can guarantee you that if you DON'T deal with it in a clear, direct, no uncertain manner, you may keep that player, but will lose others.
A situation like that you have no choice but to face it head on and just talk to him directly and say your language and attitude is unacceptable at my table and you are no longer welcome here. As DM your first and primary responsibility is to create a environment where people can feel comfortable and safe to have fun and if someone is throwing around slurs that the rest of the players are not comfortable with, then it is seriously detracting from the enjoyment of everyone else, and has shown no remorse or inclination to stop, he's got to go. With that kind of behavior there can be no ambiguity or hedging about it, it is your table, it is your ultimate decision what and who is welcome there. AND I can guarantee you that if you DON'T deal with it in a clear, direct, no uncertain manner, you may keep that player, but will lose others.
OP, this is the correct answer. If it's an online game, I wouldn't even explain the reason because with people like this (throwing around slurs and shit), you're just as likely to get some more hurled at you, so I'd just kick em'. There are so many players looking for a game that will behave and treat you and your party with respect, so no need to entertain horrible people.
However, given the information you've posted, you could also be asking how you do it from a technical sense on this site. From the home page, go to the collections tab, and then click on "My Campaigns" in the drop down. It will then take you to a page where your campaign should be listed; click on "View Campaign". Now you should see all of the characters currently in your campaign; find the one you want to kick, and that red "Remove" button is the one you want to click.
Hawkeye nailed it. To try and give some more advice. Confrontation can be hard for some people. It seems like it's probably causing you some anxiety. So do it sooner, rather than later. Once it's over, you'll feel much better. When you tell the person, keep it short. Be firm. Stay calm. Don't argue about it; you're not discussing it with the player, you are telling them what's happening.
Hawkeye nailed it. To try and give some more advice. Confrontation can be hard for some people. It seems like it's probably causing you some anxiety. So do it sooner, rather than later. Once it's over, you'll feel much better. When you tell the person, keep it short. Be firm. Stay calm. Don't argue about it; you're not discussing it with the player, you are telling them what's happening.
This is really good advice. It is NOT a discussion. We joke about it, but at the end of the day it is 100% true that the DM is "god" of the table. It is YOUR table, and what you say goes, period.
Hi! I'm EJO. I am a silly billy who forgets to play Genshin Impact every day totally DOESN'T simp for at least three different ninja girls. Some other facts about me:
I main Milio in League of Legends, and therefore have extreme anxiety whenever my glass cannon Vayne main teammate charges at the enemy while I'm at the spawn zone.
My average accuracy in Marvel Rivals is about 19%.
If anyone says the words "Spider man lord" in my presence I will immediately lock myself in my room.
The way I tend to approach this is be honest, upfront and public about it.
In Person - The first time someone slurs or breaks the behavioural expectations that the group assembled they get warned. The second time, it's an immediate halt to the game and they are told to leave immediately. They are no longer welcome at the table. There is no debate, there is no conversation. Same goes for bullying, harrassment or other expectations that the group established in session zero. Once they have physically left the space I'll then speak to the rest of the group together, make sure everyone's okay. We'll grab refills of snacks or drinks and then either casually chat as a group or we will do some game stuff deciding how the party want to handle the absence of the character now. I've only had to do this twice, but both times I've been told by players that they appreciated my honesty and they didn't see a problem with the way it was handled.
Online - If the incident happens in session it's all done the same with them being told in front of the group that they must now leave before being removed from the server on Discord. If it happens outside of session on the Discord channel or by PM (with evidence supplied) there will be a public post explaining the action I'm about to take, and there will be a private message to the indivdiual that is identical to that posted publicly. They are removed and that's an end of it.
Sunlight really is the best disinfectant. That is to say being 100% honest and open about the decision and it's consequences is the best way. It all happens in the open and no-one can say there were nefarious motives. One warning is enough for adults. If they continue after that warning, they're gone.
The campaign has not started yet, and recently this player has started saying slurs that he can't reclaim and showing not even an ounce of remorse for it. I've talked with two of the other players, they don't know what to do either. I am inclined to remove him from the future campaign but don't know how to do it. What should I do? (sorry if this isnt the right place to ask about this.)
A situation like that you have no choice but to face it head on and just talk to him directly and say your language and attitude is unacceptable at my table and you are no longer welcome here. As DM your first and primary responsibility is to create a environment where people can feel comfortable and safe to have fun and if someone is throwing around slurs that the rest of the players are not comfortable with, then it is seriously detracting from the enjoyment of everyone else, and has shown no remorse or inclination to stop, he's got to go. With that kind of behavior there can be no ambiguity or hedging about it, it is your table, it is your ultimate decision what and who is welcome there. AND I can guarantee you that if you DON'T deal with it in a clear, direct, no uncertain manner, you may keep that player, but will lose others.
OP, this is the correct answer. If it's an online game, I wouldn't even explain the reason because with people like this (throwing around slurs and shit), you're just as likely to get some more hurled at you, so I'd just kick em'. There are so many players looking for a game that will behave and treat you and your party with respect, so no need to entertain horrible people.
However, given the information you've posted, you could also be asking how you do it from a technical sense on this site. From the home page, go to the collections tab, and then click on "My Campaigns" in the drop down. It will then take you to a page where your campaign should be listed; click on "View Campaign". Now you should see all of the characters currently in your campaign; find the one you want to kick, and that red "Remove" button is the one you want to click.
Good luck and have a great day!
Hawkeye nailed it. To try and give some more advice. Confrontation can be hard for some people. It seems like it's probably causing you some anxiety. So do it sooner, rather than later. Once it's over, you'll feel much better. When you tell the person, keep it short. Be firm. Stay calm. Don't argue about it; you're not discussing it with the player, you are telling them what's happening.
This is really good advice. It is NOT a discussion. We joke about it, but at the end of the day it is 100% true that the DM is "god" of the table. It is YOUR table, and what you say goes, period.
Absolutely true.
Hi! I'm EJO. I am a silly billy who forgets to play Genshin Impact every day totally DOESN'T simp for at least three different ninja girls. Some other facts about me:
I main Milio in League of Legends, and therefore have extreme anxiety whenever my glass cannon Vayne main teammate charges at the enemy while I'm at the spawn zone.
My average accuracy in Marvel Rivals is about 19%.
If anyone says the words "Spider man lord" in my presence I will immediately lock myself in my room.
I like cheese.
The way I tend to approach this is be honest, upfront and public about it.
In Person - The first time someone slurs or breaks the behavioural expectations that the group assembled they get warned. The second time, it's an immediate halt to the game and they are told to leave immediately. They are no longer welcome at the table. There is no debate, there is no conversation. Same goes for bullying, harrassment or other expectations that the group established in session zero. Once they have physically left the space I'll then speak to the rest of the group together, make sure everyone's okay. We'll grab refills of snacks or drinks and then either casually chat as a group or we will do some game stuff deciding how the party want to handle the absence of the character now. I've only had to do this twice, but both times I've been told by players that they appreciated my honesty and they didn't see a problem with the way it was handled.
Online - If the incident happens in session it's all done the same with them being told in front of the group that they must now leave before being removed from the server on Discord. If it happens outside of session on the Discord channel or by PM (with evidence supplied) there will be a public post explaining the action I'm about to take, and there will be a private message to the indivdiual that is identical to that posted publicly. They are removed and that's an end of it.
Sunlight really is the best disinfectant. That is to say being 100% honest and open about the decision and it's consequences is the best way. It all happens in the open and no-one can say there were nefarious motives. One warning is enough for adults. If they continue after that warning, they're gone.
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Actor, Writer, Director & Teacher by day - GM/DM in my off hours.