I've been DMing for quite some time now, and, while I feel I have a solid grasp on the mechanical side of things, I feel like I'm struggling to provide a great experience for my players, when it comes to providing them with captivating enough dialogue/narration in my game.
Now, this may not be entirely apparent from reading this text, since in text form I can take a couple minutes to come up with the proper wording I want to use, or simply go back and reword things, if I come up with something better later, but, in a real time conversation, I've never been a very talkative person, nor very wordy. Truth be told, part of the reason I became a DM, apart from most DMs I've encountered treating the game more like their own little power fantasy, rather than a group game, is because that way people actually have to wait and listen to me, instead of my voice always getting drowned out by everyone else's chatter (sadly, I'm only partially joking. As a player, I'm not a fast talker. I generally take a second or two to think before I start to talk, at which point someone else already started talking, so I'm waiting for them to finish. But then, once they're done, but before I can say anything, the next person already starts talking. So I wait for them to finish, too. And then the next person starts talking, and then the next, and the next, and the next. And so I end up saying nothing, because the conversation is already over and everything important has already been said. My slightly autistic/anti-social behind just doesn't seem to be able to get the timing for when to naturally insert myself into a conversation, like most "normal" people simply can do naturally).
This, of course, also reflects in my NPC's dialogue. It always seems to be a little too awkward, like they stopped talking just few words earlier than you'd expect them to. Just a little ... underwhelming. Probably because I really struggle with small talk, and, as such, so do my characters. Oh, the important characters are more than happy to tell you about what they need you to do and what they know about where you need to go and answer all of your questions related to that. But that friendly bartender over there? He probably will not sit down with you to chat about the weather, or reminisce about his daughter's first dance at the village ceremony last spring. At least not on his own accord. Maybe if you ask him, sure, or if it might be important for a quest later down the line, but he won't bring up the topic on his own. And that's the main crux, I believe. My characters are largely reactionary in their behavior, when it comes to social interactions, because that's how I am as a person. Oh, they will initiate conversations, offer advice on their own, or, if they are enemies, try to ambush the players or mess with their plans, and be otherwise proactive, if their part of the narrative requires them to be. But they won't just... do or say things if there isn't a greater point to it.
And as if that wasn't enough, I really stink at coming up with similes and interesting descriptions. For example, this is an excerpt from CoS, describing part of Barovia as the party travels alongside its roads: "Black pools of water stand like dark mirrors in and around the muddy roadway. Giant trees loom on both sides of the road, their branches clawing at the mist," versus how I'd phrase it, "You follow the road in front of you. As you continue, you have to occasionally slow down a little to avoid stepping into several small puddles, dotting your path. A tightly woven row of ancient, gnarled-looking trees stands at the side of the road, blocking your view from what may be lurking behind." It's sort of similar and gets the point across just fine, I guess, but it's less .... impactful. It simply lacks that certain bit of poetic panache. It's cold. Clinical. It's merely a description of things. It helps you visualize your surroundings, sure, but it doesn't grip you emotionally the same way. Doesn't get you excited to explore the area.
Now, at this point, I believe it's fairly obvious that I mostly know what my main issue is. But knowing is only half the battle. You also need a way to change and improve, and that's where I'm truly struggling right now. So, as a question to all of you reading this, do you have any recommendations regarding exercises or anything I could look into to help me improve in these matters?
As always, thanks for your time. I really appreciate all of your help.
Try writing out descriptions ahead of time. It's often hard to come up with details or evocative imagery on the fly while you are also trying to keep track of half a dozen other things in game. I wish I had been organized enough to do that while I was DMing, and made little cards with the descriptions on for various settings.
The other suggestion is to think about the emotion you want to evoke with the description and then writing out a bunch of verbs & adjectives that you associate with that theme or emotion. For your example, Borovia is dark, depressing, and dangerous:
You really seem to beating yourself up, when it seems like you’re doing a good job, from your description. With characters, reactive NPCs are kind of the way to go. You don’t want to force the players into conversations — they’re the stars. If you have every NPC just start chatting with them, it will slow down the game, and pull the focus off the PCs. I’d rather have a handful of well developed NPCs than have every person in a small town talking at me. And the more details you give them, that’s just more stuff for you to remember in the future.
For descriptions, again, yours is quite good. But if you like the other better, the two big things I notice are the one you like more uses colors, which are really good in setting a scene. It also has stronger verbs — their trees loom, your trees stand. Evocative verbs is really where it’s at for describing a scene. And remember all the senses, throw in a smell or a sound. Smell in particular can set a scene.
Also, not quite what you asked, but the puddles. The first example notes they are there, yours says people slow down to avoid stepping in them. Here, you’re telling people how their characters behave; I could easily see the barbarian stomping through the puddles without a care. It’s better to tell the players what the characters see, not how they respond to it. This is a really small thing in this case, and I don’t think anyone will start shouting at you about player agency, but it is something to be careful of.
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Hey, how's it going?
I've been DMing for quite some time now, and, while I feel I have a solid grasp on the mechanical side of things, I feel like I'm struggling to provide a great experience for my players, when it comes to providing them with captivating enough dialogue/narration in my game.
Now, this may not be entirely apparent from reading this text, since in text form I can take a couple minutes to come up with the proper wording I want to use, or simply go back and reword things, if I come up with something better later, but, in a real time conversation, I've never been a very talkative person, nor very wordy.
Truth be told, part of the reason I became a DM, apart from most DMs I've encountered treating the game more like their own little power fantasy, rather than a group game, is because that way people actually have to wait and listen to me, instead of my voice always getting drowned out by everyone else's chatter (sadly, I'm only partially joking. As a player, I'm not a fast talker. I generally take a second or two to think before I start to talk, at which point someone else already started talking, so I'm waiting for them to finish. But then, once they're done, but before I can say anything, the next person already starts talking. So I wait for them to finish, too. And then the next person starts talking, and then the next, and the next, and the next. And so I end up saying nothing, because the conversation is already over and everything important has already been said. My slightly autistic/anti-social behind just doesn't seem to be able to get the timing for when to naturally insert myself into a conversation, like most "normal" people simply can do naturally).
This, of course, also reflects in my NPC's dialogue. It always seems to be a little too awkward, like they stopped talking just few words earlier than you'd expect them to. Just a little ... underwhelming.
Probably because I really struggle with small talk, and, as such, so do my characters.
Oh, the important characters are more than happy to tell you about what they need you to do and what they know about where you need to go and answer all of your questions related to that.
But that friendly bartender over there? He probably will not sit down with you to chat about the weather, or reminisce about his daughter's first dance at the village ceremony last spring. At least not on his own accord. Maybe if you ask him, sure, or if it might be important for a quest later down the line, but he won't bring up the topic on his own. And that's the main crux, I believe.
My characters are largely reactionary in their behavior, when it comes to social interactions, because that's how I am as a person.
Oh, they will initiate conversations, offer advice on their own, or, if they are enemies, try to ambush the players or mess with their plans, and be otherwise proactive, if their part of the narrative requires them to be. But they won't just... do or say things if there isn't a greater point to it.
And as if that wasn't enough, I really stink at coming up with similes and interesting descriptions.
For example, this is an excerpt from CoS, describing part of Barovia as the party travels alongside its roads: "Black pools of water stand like dark mirrors in and around the muddy roadway. Giant trees loom on both sides of the road, their branches clawing at the mist," versus how I'd phrase it, "You follow the road in front of you. As you continue, you have to occasionally slow down a little to avoid stepping into several small puddles, dotting your path. A tightly woven row of ancient, gnarled-looking trees stands at the side of the road, blocking your view from what may be lurking behind."
It's sort of similar and gets the point across just fine, I guess, but it's less .... impactful. It simply lacks that certain bit of poetic panache. It's cold. Clinical. It's merely a description of things. It helps you visualize your surroundings, sure, but it doesn't grip you emotionally the same way. Doesn't get you excited to explore the area.
Now, at this point, I believe it's fairly obvious that I mostly know what my main issue is. But knowing is only half the battle. You also need a way to change and improve, and that's where I'm truly struggling right now.
So, as a question to all of you reading this, do you have any recommendations regarding exercises or anything I could look into to help me improve in these matters?
As always, thanks for your time. I really appreciate all of your help.
Try writing out descriptions ahead of time. It's often hard to come up with details or evocative imagery on the fly while you are also trying to keep track of half a dozen other things in game. I wish I had been organized enough to do that while I was DMing, and made little cards with the descriptions on for various settings.
The other suggestion is to think about the emotion you want to evoke with the description and then writing out a bunch of verbs & adjectives that you associate with that theme or emotion. For your example, Borovia is dark, depressing, and dangerous:
Dark - shadowy/shadowed, murky, dark, black, filthy, grimy, blind, unseen, hidden, obscured, pitch, lightless, twilight, overcast, sunken, night, tar, sooty, burned, dim
depressing - grey, grim, featureless, lifeless, vacant, soulless, sullen, bland, rundown, derelict, depressing, melancholy, sad, weeping, sobbing, teary, bleary, oppressive,
dangerous - claw, bite, tear, rip, torn, scarred, powerful, muscles, fierce, ferocious, slash, crush, snarl, growl, menacing.
You really seem to beating yourself up, when it seems like you’re doing a good job, from your description.
With characters, reactive NPCs are kind of the way to go. You don’t want to force the players into conversations — they’re the stars. If you have every NPC just start chatting with them, it will slow down the game, and pull the focus off the PCs. I’d rather have a handful of well developed NPCs than have every person in a small town talking at me. And the more details you give them, that’s just more stuff for you to remember in the future.
For descriptions, again, yours is quite good. But if you like the other better, the two big things I notice are the one you like more uses colors, which are really good in setting a scene. It also has stronger verbs — their trees loom, your trees stand. Evocative verbs is really where it’s at for describing a scene.
And remember all the senses, throw in a smell or a sound. Smell in particular can set a scene.
Also, not quite what you asked, but the puddles. The first example notes they are there, yours says people slow down to avoid stepping in them. Here, you’re telling people how their characters behave; I could easily see the barbarian stomping through the puddles without a care. It’s better to tell the players what the characters see, not how they respond to it.
This is a really small thing in this case, and I don’t think anyone will start shouting at you about player agency, but it is something to be careful of.