There is some nice info and I need to comment on one again DON'T MULTITASK as Dm. Don't. If you dont have time for a game, schedule up another day when you have time 100% for the game.
If a player bails out or is away more than you want to you can just play the player out of the game, but there is no player who can be a DM so thats why DM is the last person to be AFK.
And about the sessions. If you decide to end a session, then you end a session. If one player wants to play more id tell him that come play to next session, an IN time so he will not miss any content. You are not entitled to prolong session if you dont itself want to.
Just wanted to chime in and add to the really good advice you've been getting here. You need to be having fun too! If a player is being demanding, interfering with the enjoyment of others, or just not gelling with the kind of game you want to run, no one is forcing them to play with your group. You don't owe them anything if they aren't taking their share of responsibility to be a good player - DnD is about collaborative story telling and everyone (players and DM, and sometimes my cat who helps me roll my physical dice) working together to support that. You're going out of your way to create a world for them, and if a player don't like playing in your world, they have access to all the same resources to go make their own and run their own game.
I've recently started to run online games and find players through the forums, and have had situations similar to this. I try to avoid problems by having one on one session 0s, where we don't necessarily play through to get them to the start point, but where we do discuss expectations, characters, and anything that will be off limits in the game. Where a player is causing conflict, I've sent a polite message detailing the issues, reinforcing that as DM I interpret and apply the rules, and that if the style of play is not for them they can leave the game with no hard feelings. Usually we have been able to work it out and if not, I would not hesitate to kick them out of all my servers. No one needs to add to stress and negativity. And not all people will mesh together into a workable group - and that's okay. Not every relationship works out. There are always more people wanting to play than wanting to DM, you'll find players that support you, are aligned with why you want to play and what you want to achieve. You should never have to walk away from DMing feeling bad - you're creating a wonderful universe for people to explore and that means you're putting effort into increasing the positivity in the world, which is absolutely needed.
Hope it works out, back yourself and it will. Be kind to yourself and good luck :-)
It is my belief that as a DM you have 3 roles; facilitate the game; referee the game; tell the story. I think you skipped the first 1 and gotten yourself in a big mess.
I only got half-way through your post before I would say to myself, ohh please stop!
My advice would be to just stop the game, learn from the mistakes and start over. And start with a good session 0 writing down: game, system, house rules, housekeeping rules, agree on interval, start time, how to deal with missing players, what kind of game are you running (magic, realism, traveling, RP vs. classig dungeon crawler, loot, money).
The meta gaming is a topic people always jump on, I'd say just include it in the session 0. It doesn't ruin your game, but you should be able to just say "your character doesn't know that", laugh about it and continue. About the doing things simulatanuously: it really sounds like your straining yourself. Looking at myself I always make sure I have a little breather after putting the kids to bed before starting my game. And I always give myself some time before going to bed afterwards. DM'ing is a busy job, especially if you have some experienced players with an opinion of their own. I wouldn't even want to think about running a game from work, regardless the working situation this is too much.
Hope you make some powerful choices to change this around
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There is some nice info and I need to comment on one again DON'T MULTITASK as Dm. Don't. If you dont have time for a game, schedule up another day when you have time 100% for the game.
If a player bails out or is away more than you want to you can just play the player out of the game, but there is no player who can be a DM so thats why DM is the last person to be AFK.
And about the sessions. If you decide to end a session, then you end a session. If one player wants to play more id tell him that come play to next session, an IN time so he will not miss any content. You are not entitled to prolong session if you dont itself want to.
Cheers!
Just wanted to chime in and add to the really good advice you've been getting here. You need to be having fun too! If a player is being demanding, interfering with the enjoyment of others, or just not gelling with the kind of game you want to run, no one is forcing them to play with your group. You don't owe them anything if they aren't taking their share of responsibility to be a good player - DnD is about collaborative story telling and everyone (players and DM, and sometimes my cat who helps me roll my physical dice) working together to support that. You're going out of your way to create a world for them, and if a player don't like playing in your world, they have access to all the same resources to go make their own and run their own game.
I've recently started to run online games and find players through the forums, and have had situations similar to this. I try to avoid problems by having one on one session 0s, where we don't necessarily play through to get them to the start point, but where we do discuss expectations, characters, and anything that will be off limits in the game. Where a player is causing conflict, I've sent a polite message detailing the issues, reinforcing that as DM I interpret and apply the rules, and that if the style of play is not for them they can leave the game with no hard feelings. Usually we have been able to work it out and if not, I would not hesitate to kick them out of all my servers. No one needs to add to stress and negativity. And not all people will mesh together into a workable group - and that's okay. Not every relationship works out. There are always more people wanting to play than wanting to DM, you'll find players that support you, are aligned with why you want to play and what you want to achieve. You should never have to walk away from DMing feeling bad - you're creating a wonderful universe for people to explore and that means you're putting effort into increasing the positivity in the world, which is absolutely needed.
Hope it works out, back yourself and it will. Be kind to yourself and good luck :-)
It is my belief that as a DM you have 3 roles; facilitate the game; referee the game; tell the story. I think you skipped the first 1 and gotten yourself in a big mess.
I only got half-way through your post before I would say to myself, ohh please stop!
My advice would be to just stop the game, learn from the mistakes and start over. And start with a good session 0 writing down: game, system, house rules, housekeeping rules, agree on interval, start time, how to deal with missing players, what kind of game are you running (magic, realism, traveling, RP vs. classig dungeon crawler, loot, money).
The meta gaming is a topic people always jump on, I'd say just include it in the session 0. It doesn't ruin your game, but you should be able to just say "your character doesn't know that", laugh about it and continue. About the doing things simulatanuously: it really sounds like your straining yourself. Looking at myself I always make sure I have a little breather after putting the kids to bed before starting my game. And I always give myself some time before going to bed afterwards. DM'ing is a busy job, especially if you have some experienced players with an opinion of their own. I wouldn't even want to think about running a game from work, regardless the working situation this is too much.
Hope you make some powerful choices to change this around