So I’m a little over a year into my first real campaign as a DM. (I have one other failed campaign that we don’t speak of) My players are great honestly, the rp is fun and we’ve all gotten really close.
They are really invested which is great and makes me feel like I’m doing a good job, but I’m afraid they may be starting to get too invested. They have informed my of real life anxiety they have over the game and I’ve witnessed some pretty bad arguments between some players because of in game disagreements. Some have told me they have nightmares or get insomnia because of in game issues.
I want them to be invested and I’m not sure it’s bad to have a little bit of an emotional connection, but I’m afraid of it affecting their mental health and relationships with eachother.
Sounds like something you never signed up for.. yikes. What type of game are you actually running? Would you describe it as a high tension horror campaign, or what you were aiming to simply be a high fantasy adventure?
You're always going to be very limited in how much control you'll have over how people react to certain content, but what you can control is the content itself. If it's getting too dark and serious, consider injecting some levity once in a while. A comical NPC is an easy option without changing the setting much.. but perhaps that might be useful too.
This is not an easy one. Some players take the game too seriously. What happens to their character is happening to THEM, and nothing you can say will convince them otherwise.
I have seen this kind of thing happen in online games, especially MUSHes and MUXes back in the day, when players made up characters who were too much like themselves, basically RPing themselves as a Paladin or a superhero or what have you. When you play yourself, it can feel a bit too much like this is all happening to you. And if someone insults your character, it can feel like they are insulting you. My recommendation is always to make up characters wildly different from yourself so that this never happens -- but in your case, if they have done that (and I have no way of knowing if they have) it may be too late for this campaign.
You could try shaking things up a little. Take a break from the campaign and either play a one-shot with different characters, or play a different RPG for a little while. You don't have to leave that campaign long term. But you could say to them that you all need a break from this campaign. Make up something fun and make sure they make very different characters (a) from the one they are playing and (b) from themselves. You can achieve (a) really easily by just using a different game. Play Champions or GURPS or Star Trek or Amber or something strange and very different from D&D. Just something to start in a new environment, new game, new characters. It's all less serious that way. They won't be invested in the new game that much. Then as GM, make up a more light-hearted, less serious adventure. Run it for as long as it lasts -- try to have it go more than a session but even just 2 or 3 sessions should be enough. This should get everyone out of their too-serious/too-invested mind set.
And it will do something else. By playing a different game with different rules and different characters, it will reinforce to them that this is all "just a game" and not something to take overly seriously. I've thought about this a lot over the years, and I'm convinced that the reason my friends and I, who started gaming in 8th grade and played through college, never took any one RPG too seriously, is that we played a bunch of them and swapped them out every 6-9 months: D&D, Star Frontiers, Champions, Rolemaster, FASA's Star Trek, even the Indiana Jones RPG a couple of times. And I bought TORG, although we never actually played that one. The point is, we never took D&D too seriously because before we could start doing so, we had moved onto another game. And we had a bunch of different characters, one or more in each game, so we never took what happened to any one character too seriously.
I agree with the previous comments you just need to talk to them and/or take a small break from the more serous parts of the campaign or from the campaign entirely.
You might, perhaps, even want to suggest that someone else run it. If someone would like to try GMing, and wants to try a new game -- or maybe wants to DM and wants to run a beginner adventure like Icespire Peak. Let everyone switch roles a bit and try something new. If your players are saying the campaign is stressing them out, they should be amenable to taking a break.
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WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
As having fun is important, incorporating some humor every now and then can lighten the mood. After tracking paw prints, let them spot a coyote chasing a running bird or have them find some Flintstones objects when in a cave.
I had to think about this for a second... why would a coyote chasing a bird be funny? Then I got it... LOL.
Same for me.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
It's high fantasy with a pirate theme we started by using some of the plots from Saltmarsh, but has gone more sandbox as we've gone on. We all enjoy there being some drama, but I just worry about it being too much.
I talked to them about it and they all were just like "oh we love the campaign so much" "We like the drama." "You make it so fun." They seem ok with everything that's been happening I'm just worried about them, and they don't seem to see the problem
Something to consider is the way in which the brain processes emotion. It doesn’t matter if the emotion is stimulated by physical experience or through entertainment / story, the brain doesn’t differentiate. To the brain, it’s all real. To your brain, and effectively to your emotional memory, your characters DID go on those adventures and they did experience those highs and lows of victory and defeat. They did have a genuine emotional experience that produced real biological effects on their brain and bodies. This is why roleplaying games can be an effective tool for therapy and positive behavior change. To say it’s “just a game” is true only to the extent that it’s a fiction but the emotional impact is potentially very real. It’s why players often say “we did this” when recounting part of an adventure even when not playing the game.
Of course it isn’t your job to be their therapist and that is certainly not what I’m suggesting. If anything, I would tell you to keep this in mind when talking with them, and you do need to talk to them, about your concerns about the negative impact on their real life experiences and what you as a group can do to change the tone and direction of the game so that way play sessions result in more positive real life after-effects. As a side note, it sounds like there might also be some room for improvement in the area of team cooperation and common goals if game disagreements are intense enough to cause real world arguments after the fact.
It's high fantasy with a pirate theme we started by using some of the plots from Saltmarsh, but has gone more sandbox as we've gone on. We all enjoy there being some drama, but I just worry about it being too much.
I talked to them about it and they all were just like "oh we love the campaign so much" "We like the drama." "You make it so fun." They seem ok with everything that's been happening I'm just worried about them, and they don't seem to see the problem
I still think you should take a break and play a different game for a little while. It will give everyone some much needed rest.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
One thing I like to do is to take a few minutes at the end of the session to ask the players for feedback. I started by asking them to pick a MVP whom I could then reward with Inspiration since I didn't think I was using that enough, but the fact is that it has been great for all of us in the group. I get some great tips on ways to improve as a GM and my players get to look at conflicts from outside their characters perspective.
As a alternative suggestion maybe run a cool down session. Resolve a number of the on going plot points or make them tomorrow problem, and let the characters relax. Maybe set up a low level dungeon, or what have you and let them kick butt, and take it easy. Remind the players about how far they have come, and how bad ass they are.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
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So I’m a little over a year into my first real campaign as a DM. (I have one other failed campaign that we don’t speak of) My players are great honestly, the rp is fun and we’ve all gotten really close.
They are really invested which is great and makes me feel like I’m doing a good job, but I’m afraid they may be starting to get too invested. They have informed my of real life anxiety they have over the game and I’ve witnessed some pretty bad arguments between some players because of in game disagreements. Some have told me they have nightmares or get insomnia because of in game issues.
I want them to be invested and I’m not sure it’s bad to have a little bit of an emotional connection, but I’m afraid of it affecting their mental health and relationships with eachother.
Sounds like something you never signed up for.. yikes. What type of game are you actually running? Would you describe it as a high tension horror campaign, or what you were aiming to simply be a high fantasy adventure?
You're always going to be very limited in how much control you'll have over how people react to certain content, but what you can control is the content itself. If it's getting too dark and serious, consider injecting some levity once in a while. A comical NPC is an easy option without changing the setting much.. but perhaps that might be useful too.
This is not an easy one. Some players take the game too seriously. What happens to their character is happening to THEM, and nothing you can say will convince them otherwise.
I have seen this kind of thing happen in online games, especially MUSHes and MUXes back in the day, when players made up characters who were too much like themselves, basically RPing themselves as a Paladin or a superhero or what have you. When you play yourself, it can feel a bit too much like this is all happening to you. And if someone insults your character, it can feel like they are insulting you. My recommendation is always to make up characters wildly different from yourself so that this never happens -- but in your case, if they have done that (and I have no way of knowing if they have) it may be too late for this campaign.
You could try shaking things up a little. Take a break from the campaign and either play a one-shot with different characters, or play a different RPG for a little while. You don't have to leave that campaign long term. But you could say to them that you all need a break from this campaign. Make up something fun and make sure they make very different characters (a) from the one they are playing and (b) from themselves. You can achieve (a) really easily by just using a different game. Play Champions or GURPS or Star Trek or Amber or something strange and very different from D&D. Just something to start in a new environment, new game, new characters. It's all less serious that way. They won't be invested in the new game that much. Then as GM, make up a more light-hearted, less serious adventure. Run it for as long as it lasts -- try to have it go more than a session but even just 2 or 3 sessions should be enough. This should get everyone out of their too-serious/too-invested mind set.
And it will do something else. By playing a different game with different rules and different characters, it will reinforce to them that this is all "just a game" and not something to take overly seriously. I've thought about this a lot over the years, and I'm convinced that the reason my friends and I, who started gaming in 8th grade and played through college, never took any one RPG too seriously, is that we played a bunch of them and swapped them out every 6-9 months: D&D, Star Frontiers, Champions, Rolemaster, FASA's Star Trek, even the Indiana Jones RPG a couple of times. And I bought TORG, although we never actually played that one. The point is, we never took D&D too seriously because before we could start doing so, we had moved onto another game. And we had a bunch of different characters, one or more in each game, so we never took what happened to any one character too seriously.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I agree with the previous comments you just need to talk to them and/or take a small break from the more serous parts of the campaign or from the campaign entirely.
Swapping out to a different game REALLY helps.
You might, perhaps, even want to suggest that someone else run it. If someone would like to try GMing, and wants to try a new game -- or maybe wants to DM and wants to run a beginner adventure like Icespire Peak. Let everyone switch roles a bit and try something new. If your players are saying the campaign is stressing them out, they should be amenable to taking a break.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
As having fun is important, incorporating some humor every now and then can lighten the mood. After tracking paw prints, let them spot a coyote chasing a running bird or have them find some Flintstones objects when in a cave.
edit: typo
playing since 1986
I had to think about this for a second... why would a coyote chasing a bird be funny? Then I got it... LOL.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Same for me.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
After your sessions tell them, "Thanks guys for playing with me. Tonight was a fun game." Or something like that.
I agree with putting something out of theme but funny into the campaign. It breaks immersion but if things get too heavy it can help.
But most of all express your concerns and have a chat with your players.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
It's high fantasy with a pirate theme we started by using some of the plots from Saltmarsh, but has gone more sandbox as we've gone on. We all enjoy there being some drama, but I just worry about it being too much.
I talked to them about it and they all were just like "oh we love the campaign so much" "We like the drama." "You make it so fun." They seem ok with everything that's been happening I'm just worried about them, and they don't seem to see the problem
Something to consider is the way in which the brain processes emotion. It doesn’t matter if the emotion is stimulated by physical experience or through entertainment / story, the brain doesn’t differentiate. To the brain, it’s all real. To your brain, and effectively to your emotional memory, your characters DID go on those adventures and they did experience those highs and lows of victory and defeat. They did have a genuine emotional experience that produced real biological effects on their brain and bodies. This is why roleplaying games can be an effective tool for therapy and positive behavior change. To say it’s “just a game” is true only to the extent that it’s a fiction but the emotional impact is potentially very real. It’s why players often say “we did this” when recounting part of an adventure even when not playing the game.
Of course it isn’t your job to be their therapist and that is certainly not what I’m suggesting. If anything, I would tell you to keep this in mind when talking with them, and you do need to talk to them, about your concerns about the negative impact on their real life experiences and what you as a group can do to change the tone and direction of the game so that way play sessions result in more positive real life after-effects. As a side note, it sounds like there might also be some room for improvement in the area of team cooperation and common goals if game disagreements are intense enough to cause real world arguments after the fact.
I still think you should take a break and play a different game for a little while. It will give everyone some much needed rest.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
One thing I like to do is to take a few minutes at the end of the session to ask the players for feedback. I started by asking them to pick a MVP whom I could then reward with Inspiration since I didn't think I was using that enough, but the fact is that it has been great for all of us in the group. I get some great tips on ways to improve as a GM and my players get to look at conflicts from outside their characters perspective.
A lot of good suggestions.
As a alternative suggestion maybe run a cool down session. Resolve a number of the on going plot points or make them tomorrow problem, and let the characters relax. Maybe set up a low level dungeon, or what have you and let them kick butt, and take it easy. Remind the players about how far they have come, and how bad ass they are.