I apologize, I was just making a silly joke. I didn't intend for it to come off that way.
(... there's the people-pleaser in me coming out again.)
I think your joke wasn't unreasonable. As a woman it's hard to convince ladies to join the hobby.
You're absolutely right, and it's incredibly unfortunate... (I've since edited the original post to not include the joke.)
I count myself blessed that I'm able to share the table with my friends and family, many of which are women. But I realize for many others, it's hard to convince people that D&D is anything more than a "nerdy white-guy game." In a lot of ways, DM's are an entry way to this hobby and it really does fall on us to foster a community that is not only welcoming to everyone, but also fun for everyone.
It's another one of the reasons why I love DM'ing. Part of the challenge is creating something that has a low barrier to entry, is welcoming to players of any belief or background, and is also entertaining. It means being flexible and changing your adventure on the fly to cater to your audience. It requires empathy and being sensitive to how it affects your players emotionally. And sometimes... it requires stopping the game and talking with your players.
No video game, book, or movie is going to give you an experience like that with your players/audience.
I enjoy creating a setting and seeing where the characters people create and the story we're telling grows. There's something about their reactions when things go on and watching them try to work out puzzles and think of their characters. We've had sessions which would contain a 2 hour social encounter. Not through any real planning but we're all just bouncing off each other and the NPC. Knowing that I've been able to come up with something that has them that enthralled so that it's not "degenerated" (through want of a better term) to them just wanting to go off and fight things is satisfying. It's great fun and ends up with us all working together nicely in a couple of hour, relaxed piece of improvised theatre between friends.
I also had a side one reminding me why I like to DM as a player last night. A friend of mine plays D&D with her sister, brother in law to be and a group of other "non-gamers" who wanted to try D&D. The person who offered to GM made little preparation, in itself not a problem, but would lead to stories with unresolved plot hooks caused by him forgetting what he was asking them to do, stripping them of everything they'd earned on multiple occasions and losing the plots to the extent that he ended up scrapping that campaign, started an alternative game with the party starting at level 10 that rapidly devolved into him trying to force them into things that didn't fit in with their characters and fighting one or two Bullywugs at a time with ease and just generally causing people to get bored with the game. My friend offered to try running a game for her friends and family to try and "save" D&D in their eyes and asked me to sit in as a character and see how things go. To cut a longer story short, three sessions later she's got us all really enjoying it and them getting into the game again to the extent that her sisters' housemate who dropped out completely due to how horrible the previous games had been asked if he could join her game. To see a shy player who I'd helped come out of her shell by DMing games for her growing in confidence and wanting to try her hand running games for others and helping them get into it after bad experiences really made me remember why I enjoy it. If my DMing helps someone grow in confidence, enjoy the game more and are inspired to try DMing and that too helps people really enjoy the game it's a really nice reminder as to how much a DM can inspire others through story, interaction and of course most of all fun!
I DM because I have so many cool character ideas. :P
I know that sounds bad at first--good PCs and good NPCs are pretty different. But I because I come up with them as people first and heroes second, it's easy for me to steer them away from "Adventurer" and into some other role. What might be a oath of conquest paladin can become a harsh guard-captain, a possible wizard can be tied to a school or a patron and kept from adventuring. My worlds tend to establish rich casts of characters and cultural histories. I like to encourage players to pick sides and work out conflicts between NPCs, become change agents to resolve tensions.
I agree with so many of the comments already made: I was the only one willing to DM for my group, I love the creative aspect of world-building, and I'm a huge people pleaser. As Matthew Colville so brilliantly said in his "Running The Game" YouTube series, "When you have fun, I have fun."
Happy Gaming!!!
I was going to start this as a separate thread, but realized it was more an addendum to my previous post than a new idea. Another reason why I DM is because it's become somewhat therapeutic for me. (I know it sounds crazy, but stick with me)
To make a long story short, in the last year (ish) I was forced to make a bit of a career change when I got laid off from the job I had had since graduating college almost 5 years prior. I'm now working in Customer Support and, being a very introverted individual, hate every minute of it. After being very depressed for a number of months, I decided to finally jump into D&D, which I had avoided most of my life because it always seemed "too nerdy." Because of shows like Critical Role, I was excited to get started and naturally fell into the DM role (as no one else in my friend group wanted the job).
Since picking it up, I've had something to look forward to at the end of every day. Things like session prep and fleshing out an important NPC have become something that helps fill in the time between stressful phone calls at work. I get excited to go home at the end of the day and start painting a new set of miniatures I picked up for an upcoming encounter. It also led me to discovering DnD Beyond and joining this community. In other words, DM'ing has become my therapist; a way to meditate and focus on the positive aspects of my life. It's a pleasant distraction from the stresses of everyday life and a welcome task to keep my busy mind at ease.
Thank you for reading and as always, happy gaming!!! :-)
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I enjoy creating a setting and seeing where the characters people create and the story we're telling grows. There's something about their reactions when things go on and watching them try to work out puzzles and think of their characters. We've had sessions which would contain a 2 hour social encounter. Not through any real planning but we're all just bouncing off each other and the NPC. Knowing that I've been able to come up with something that has them that enthralled so that it's not "degenerated" (through want of a better term) to them just wanting to go off and fight things is satisfying. It's great fun and ends up with us all working together nicely in a couple of hour, relaxed piece of improvised theatre between friends.
I also had a side one reminding me why I like to DM as a player last night. A friend of mine plays D&D with her sister, brother in law to be and a group of other "non-gamers" who wanted to try D&D. The person who offered to GM made little preparation, in itself not a problem, but would lead to stories with unresolved plot hooks caused by him forgetting what he was asking them to do, stripping them of everything they'd earned on multiple occasions and losing the plots to the extent that he ended up scrapping that campaign, started an alternative game with the party starting at level 10 that rapidly devolved into him trying to force them into things that didn't fit in with their characters and fighting one or two Bullywugs at a time with ease and just generally causing people to get bored with the game. My friend offered to try running a game for her friends and family to try and "save" D&D in their eyes and asked me to sit in as a character and see how things go. To cut a longer story short, three sessions later she's got us all really enjoying it and them getting into the game again to the extent that her sisters' housemate who dropped out completely due to how horrible the previous games had been asked if he could join her game. To see a shy player who I'd helped come out of her shell by DMing games for her growing in confidence and wanting to try her hand running games for others and helping them get into it after bad experiences really made me remember why I enjoy it. If my DMing helps someone grow in confidence, enjoy the game more and are inspired to try DMing and that too helps people really enjoy the game it's a really nice reminder as to how much a DM can inspire others through story, interaction and of course most of all fun!
I DM because I have so many cool character ideas. :P
I know that sounds bad at first--good PCs and good NPCs are pretty different. But I because I come up with them as people first and heroes second, it's easy for me to steer them away from "Adventurer" and into some other role. What might be a oath of conquest paladin can become a harsh guard-captain, a possible wizard can be tied to a school or a patron and kept from adventuring. My worlds tend to establish rich casts of characters and cultural histories. I like to encourage players to pick sides and work out conflicts between NPCs, become change agents to resolve tensions.