Hello fellow D&D fans! Below is my description of a item I am working on for my main campaign, "The Path of the Dragon". Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Amulet of the Gatekeeper
Description. The creation of the Gates of Haabor where to unite the realms by opening links to across each plane. Haabor, the Draconic God of Inquisitiveness and Invention was responsible for the creation and linking of the gates. After the gates were completed, Haabor set in place gatekeepers to each gate, giving them the power to open and close the gates. Haabor also made amulets that could be used as keys to opening these gates. One was given to the Powerful Sorcerer of Isengulf, Velhan. Another was given to the Elf King, Eshar the Eternal. And finally, the last was trusted to a halfling bard. No book or legend makes mention of his name or his significance. Some say that Haabor looked to find a creature of pure intent and a kind heart. These amulets were passed down through the generations until the Great 300 Year War, when the artifacts faded into legend.
The Gates of Haabor: This amulets allows you to open any one of the Gates of Haabor. When you enter any one of the gates you and up to 8 willing creatures you can see within 30 feet can transport to any of the other gates, even if it is in another dimension. You cannot transport to a gate that you have not opened or unsealed. You may also use the amulets to cast Teleport once within a long rest.
Gatekeeper’s Bond: Over the course of a long rest, you can bond yourself to one of the Gates of Haabor that you remain within 100 feet of over the course of the full rest. You can only have a bond to one of the Gates at a time. If you bond to a second one, your previous bond immediately ends. As an action, you and up to 30 willing creatures you can see within 30 feet can instantly teleport to an open space within 50 feet of the bonded gate on a successful DC 10 Arcana Check. Once you use this feature, you cannot use it again until you complete a long rest.
Gatekeeper’s Call: As an action, you can call forth one of the gatekeepers that guard each gate. The creature you can call to aid you is based on which gate you are currently bonded to.
After 1 minute or when it is reduced to 0 hit points, the creature immediately disappears back to where it was summoned from. Once you use this feature, you cannot use it again until you finish a long rest.
Mind of Haabor: Your proficiency bonus is increased by +1.
Steps of Haabor: Once on each of your turns, you may use your movement action to teleport up to your speed distance.
Seems a little strong overall. My two main critiques are that I'm not entirely sure why the artifact lets you cast Polymorph (as that just seems kind of random and tacked onto an item that seems to be more about movement or teleportation), and the last ability "Steps of Haabor" could much easier be written as "Once on each of your turns, you may use your movement action to teleport up to 30 feet." I can't really fathom a reason a person would want to split their movement between normal walking and teleportation when they could just teleport where they wanted to go in the first place.
Other than that, like I said, it seems a bit strong. If you are okay with your players freely traveling from gate to gate or using "Gatekeeper's Bond" as a "Get out of Trouble Free" card once per day, then I guess that's not so bad. Being able to summon a CR 5 monster once per day seems fair, but I feel like there is some back-story or flavor missing from the description of either the gates or the artifact to explain why it does that. Again, it seems more focused on movement via teleportation than summoning monsters.
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"The mongoose blew out its candle and was asleep in bed before the room went dark." —Llanowar fable
Thanks Metamongoose, yeah I was thinking of removing the "Steps of Haabor" as it doesn't make sense (story-wise) why you would be able to do that or at the least simplifying it. And I am thinking of how summoning would fit into the story.
I like it, but it is a little too powerful. Better make sure it's hard for your players to get this one.
Otherwise, you've done a really good job!
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DM: "You successfully cast Wish. What do you do?" Me: "I use it to wish for unlimited 9th-level spell slots and the ability to cast Wish whenever I want without taking necrotic damage." DM: "...Not gonna happen."
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Hello fellow D&D fans! Below is my description of a item I am working on for my main campaign, "The Path of the Dragon". Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Amulet of the Gatekeeper
Description. The creation of the Gates of Haabor where to unite the realms by opening links to across each plane. Haabor, the Draconic God of Inquisitiveness and Invention was responsible for the creation and linking of the gates. After the gates were completed, Haabor set in place gatekeepers to each gate, giving them the power to open and close the gates. Haabor also made amulets that could be used as keys to opening these gates. One was given to the Powerful Sorcerer of Isengulf, Velhan. Another was given to the Elf King, Eshar the Eternal. And finally, the last was trusted to a halfling bard. No book or legend makes mention of his name or his significance. Some say that Haabor looked to find a creature of pure intent and a kind heart. These amulets were passed down through the generations until the Great 300 Year War, when the artifacts faded into legend.
The Gates of Haabor: This amulets allows you to open any one of the Gates of Haabor. When you enter any one of the gates you and up to 8 willing creatures you can see within 30 feet can transport to any of the other gates, even if it is in another dimension. You cannot transport to a gate that you have not opened or unsealed. You may also use the amulets to cast Teleport once within a long rest.
Gatekeeper’s Bond: Over the course of a long rest, you can bond yourself to one of the Gates of Haabor that you remain within 100 feet of over the course of the full rest. You can only have a bond to one of the Gates at a time. If you bond to a second one, your previous bond immediately ends. As an action, you and up to 30 willing creatures you can see within 30 feet can instantly teleport to an open space within 50 feet of the bonded gate on a successful DC 10 Arcana Check. Once you use this feature, you cannot use it again until you complete a long rest.
Gatekeeper’s Call: As an action, you can call forth one of the gatekeepers that guard each gate. The creature you can call to aid you is based on which gate you are currently bonded to.
After 1 minute or when it is reduced to 0 hit points, the creature immediately disappears back to where it was summoned from. Once you use this feature, you cannot use it again until you finish a long rest.
Mind of Haabor: Your proficiency bonus is increased by +1.
Steps of Haabor: Once on each of your turns, you may use your movement action to teleport up to your speed distance.
Seems a little strong overall. My two main critiques are that I'm not entirely sure why the artifact lets you cast Polymorph (as that just seems kind of random and tacked onto an item that seems to be more about movement or teleportation), and the last ability "Steps of Haabor" could much easier be written as "Once on each of your turns, you may use your movement action to teleport up to 30 feet." I can't really fathom a reason a person would want to split their movement between normal walking and teleportation when they could just teleport where they wanted to go in the first place.
Other than that, like I said, it seems a bit strong. If you are okay with your players freely traveling from gate to gate or using "Gatekeeper's Bond" as a "Get out of Trouble Free" card once per day, then I guess that's not so bad. Being able to summon a CR 5 monster once per day seems fair, but I feel like there is some back-story or flavor missing from the description of either the gates or the artifact to explain why it does that. Again, it seems more focused on movement via teleportation than summoning monsters.
Correction. I meant to put Teleport instead.
That makes more sense.
Thanks Metamongoose, yeah I was thinking of removing the "Steps of Haabor" as it doesn't make sense (story-wise) why you would be able to do that or at the least simplifying it. And I am thinking of how summoning would fit into the story.
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I like it, but it is a little too powerful. Better make sure it's hard for your players to get this one.
Otherwise, you've done a really good job!
DM: "You successfully cast Wish. What do you do?"
Me: "I use it to wish for unlimited 9th-level spell slots and the ability to cast Wish whenever I want without taking necrotic damage."
DM: "...Not gonna happen."