So, i have this player that never takes anything seriously in dnd campaigns examples being: Always making heavily comedic relief characters with little to no personality , taking serious moments between the party and just making tons of unfunny jokes around it, always making his character extremely mentally challenged and incapable of anything, focusing on one stupid thing for the whole campaign (Which i know sometimes that happens but normally its relatively funny and plays into the story) and just constantly making his characters names godawful. And naturally ive got really annoyed with him over it, but lately ive been thinking is it maybe just me being a shitty DM?? Like it kinda feels like im constantly getting annoyed with this guy over these things and making him change stuff, but then maybe its me being tyrannical and maybe its me that is causing all this to happen so naturally make the party not fun. Ive talked to my other friends about this but have never got a clear answer from any of them, i believe this is naturally from them being slightly bias in either direction. So i wanted to ask people who are indifferent to the situation, i dont think i will make it anywhere as a DM and become good at DM'ing if im constantly bossing this one guy around. And i want my party to have fun, so Am i being tyrannical or is it partly the cause of these players. If anyone can answer i will be really greatful, i want to see what i am doing wrong and improve on it so im not known as that one shitty dm that doesnt let the players have fun.
He's being a fine player, and you're being a fine DM, but some people just aren't compatible in the way they play. It's a matter of taste.
It's possible that one of you might make room for the other. Intentionally alter behavior to better fit with what the other one's doing. But it's also possible that won't happen. It sounds like you've tried to get him to do it, to stop being so silly, and it didn't work. Maybe you should be more silly? But I don't know your situation like you do.
Probably better to either split or start fresh with a new set of sillier expectations.
If your "friend" is only being a clown fooling around, he's probably more into getting attention, than playing the game with you and your other friends. Especially after being talked to and asked to not pull this kind of crap. It is - after all a cooperative RPG, and you are the narrator and referee. If someone can't stick to the rules you as the DM set for your table (and if it's only not being a walking mockery and being intentionally a horrible piece of work) you're always free to uninvite this person. Establishing borders is a good thing to do, and normally happens at session zero, but it is never too late to do so if someone constantly harasses you and/or your other players with disruptive behaviour and shows no respect.
I mean i cant read my players minds, we all like the guy but every character he plays is kinda a goofy emotionless husk only there to joke abt literally everything. As hes said 'all i like to do is mess around' and 'i dont take anything seriously'
D&D, like many TTRPGs, is a collaborative game, which means you have a variety of players who come together to work together despite varying tastes and preferences. You all have to meet somewhere in the middle where you can all be happy and enjoy yourselves. Where your natural modes are out of synch like this, you have several choices:
You give up and quit the game. Let them get on with the game that you don't enjoy without you.
You suck it up and just let them play.
Both of you compromise and they get a bit more serious while you loosen up a little - the ideal situation.
You get them to suck it up and get on with it.
You kick them from the table.
The player's agency is required for 3 & 4. Have you gotten to the point where they are impossible? I don't know, I'm not there, but have you? If so, then you're left with 1, 2 or 5; quit, suck it up or boot them. You have to pick what you think is the best solution.
If you haven't gotten to that point, then keep availing them to compromise and make it fun for everyone. It's on both of you to compromise so everyone can have fun.
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If you're not willing or able to to discuss in good faith, then don't be surprised if I don't respond, there are better things in life for me to do than humour you. This signature is that response.
This might simply be a difference in playstyles. Some people just like everything silly and don't take things seriously. It's worth a conversation, because it's possible for people with different playstyles to be at the same table - if they're willing to make concessions for others' enjoyment of the game.
Have you told this player that the comic intrusions are making things unfun for you? If the person is mature, they might be willing to tone it down. Some people are not the most emotionally perceptive and don't realize how they come across. And even if your table doesn't mind it, you have the right to enjoy the game you run; if gags and constant silliness isn't what you want, you should inform all your players so expectations are clear.
If the player is told this and doesn't change, then maybe it's for the best if there's a parting of ways. But open communication is the first step, here.
If someone's playstyle gets in the way of the fun for you and some other players, there's nothing wrong is giving a final warning that if it doesn't change you will have to part ways.
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So, i have this player that never takes anything seriously in dnd campaigns examples being: Always making heavily comedic relief characters with little to no personality , taking serious moments between the party and just making tons of unfunny jokes around it, always making his character extremely mentally challenged and incapable of anything, focusing on one stupid thing for the whole campaign (Which i know sometimes that happens but normally its relatively funny and plays into the story) and just constantly making his characters names godawful. And naturally ive got really annoyed with him over it, but lately ive been thinking is it maybe just me being a shitty DM?? Like it kinda feels like im constantly getting annoyed with this guy over these things and making him change stuff, but then maybe its me being tyrannical and maybe its me that is causing all this to happen so naturally make the party not fun. Ive talked to my other friends about this but have never got a clear answer from any of them, i believe this is naturally from them being slightly bias in either direction. So i wanted to ask people who are indifferent to the situation, i dont think i will make it anywhere as a DM and become good at DM'ing if im constantly bossing this one guy around. And i want my party to have fun, so Am i being tyrannical or is it partly the cause of these players. If anyone can answer i will be really greatful, i want to see what i am doing wrong and improve on it so im not known as that one shitty dm that doesnt let the players have fun.
He's being a fine player, and you're being a fine DM, but some people just aren't compatible in the way they play. It's a matter of taste.
It's possible that one of you might make room for the other. Intentionally alter behavior to better fit with what the other one's doing. But it's also possible that won't happen. It sounds like you've tried to get him to do it, to stop being so silly, and it didn't work. Maybe you should be more silly? But I don't know your situation like you do.
Probably better to either split or start fresh with a new set of sillier expectations.
If your "friend" is only being a clown fooling around, he's probably more into getting attention, than playing the game with you and your other friends. Especially after being talked to and asked to not pull this kind of crap. It is - after all a cooperative RPG, and you are the narrator and referee. If someone can't stick to the rules you as the DM set for your table (and if it's only not being a walking mockery and being intentionally a horrible piece of work) you're always free to uninvite this person. Establishing borders is a good thing to do, and normally happens at session zero, but it is never too late to do so if someone constantly harasses you and/or your other players with disruptive behaviour and shows no respect.
I mean i cant read my players minds, we all like the guy but every character he plays is kinda a goofy emotionless husk only there to joke abt literally everything. As hes said 'all i like to do is mess around' and 'i dont take anything seriously'
I agree with Choir.
D&D, like many TTRPGs, is a collaborative game, which means you have a variety of players who come together to work together despite varying tastes and preferences. You all have to meet somewhere in the middle where you can all be happy and enjoy yourselves. Where your natural modes are out of synch like this, you have several choices:
The player's agency is required for 3 & 4. Have you gotten to the point where they are impossible? I don't know, I'm not there, but have you? If so, then you're left with 1, 2 or 5; quit, suck it up or boot them. You have to pick what you think is the best solution.
If you haven't gotten to that point, then keep availing them to compromise and make it fun for everyone. It's on both of you to compromise so everyone can have fun.
If you're not willing or able to to discuss in good faith, then don't be surprised if I don't respond, there are better things in life for me to do than humour you. This signature is that response.
This might simply be a difference in playstyles. Some people just like everything silly and don't take things seriously. It's worth a conversation, because it's possible for people with different playstyles to be at the same table - if they're willing to make concessions for others' enjoyment of the game.
Have you told this player that the comic intrusions are making things unfun for you? If the person is mature, they might be willing to tone it down. Some people are not the most emotionally perceptive and don't realize how they come across. And even if your table doesn't mind it, you have the right to enjoy the game you run; if gags and constant silliness isn't what you want, you should inform all your players so expectations are clear.
If the player is told this and doesn't change, then maybe it's for the best if there's a parting of ways. But open communication is the first step, here.
If someone's playstyle gets in the way of the fun for you and some other players, there's nothing wrong is giving a final warning that if it doesn't change you will have to part ways.