Hey guys, I am not sure where to post this tbh, but I figured this'd be a homebrew thing so I should post it here for advice on what may be a good idea. I am playing the way of Astral Self monk in the campaign I'm in. It has two versions though, the one I always use, and the second which is essentially more of the darker emotions which my character harbors. I have tried my best to roleplay that when something bad happens to my character which should make him upset it affects him for a little bit then it just gets sucked away and he's then more upbeat than he should be. In the backstory I created his emotions, soul or what have you were split into two parts when he was younger by his master and the other half was locked away as it gave way to very destructive tendencies which my character could not keep under control when his astral persona came out. Recently in the game my character has been under a lot of mental and emotional stress so the locks that were in place for that side are weakening and the other persona is sort of leaking through. I asked my DM if I could have some sort of reason to intentionally break the seal on the other half if things got really dicey and I had no other option (my character is afraid of what would happen if it gets released.) I asked if just for the one fight or instance where it gets released if I could get partially healed or something. They said no that would be overpowered. I then came back and asked if maybe it could be treated as an artifact. I don't know the specifics of artifacts as I am a new player, but I do know that they give a buff and a debuff at the same time and they evolve over time with the wielder. I felt that would fit thematically with my character as after it's released part of his arc would be coming to terms with reconciling his emotions and what not. They also said no to that as they say my character would get special treatment. I in no way want my character to be overpowered, I just want something impactful to happen. It's very frustrating as I just want there to be a reason why my character would release this other than "well i'm in a bad mood so I guess I'm going to turn into my more angry self now."  I should also note my DM's entire campaign and monsters are all homebrew and they have given another member of the party, a nature cleric, access to shape change and a couple other spells that they can do which don't count against their spell slots.

Sorry for the long post I just wanted to explain all that. Now for the advice: do you all have any suggestions on what I could ask her for? Or maybe an idea about a buff and a debuff which would fit and not make my character overpowered or something? Or should I just drop the twin astral forms thing and act like that's never been a thing with my character?  Again, sorry for the long post.

I think could help, i think you might want to post to this under the monk section but oh well. from what my understanding is that character sort of have a dual personality there the light side and the dark side. according to what I've red on Way of the Astral self you could do radiant or necrotic damage. So you wanted your character that want to deal on each punch i assuming. So what kind of impact you want for your monk? Astral Monk seems pretty powerful dealing both necrotic and radiant which is pretty rare in my book. 

I think your character is fine, maybe ask your dungeon master if they could give you monk relate items, since you can use your wisdom modifier in place of your strength modifier when making strength checks and strength saving throws. sort of wisdom boosting item similar to headband of Intellect  maybe headband of wisdom or something.

hope this helps