I play a gnome wizard who is currently dealing with stuffs in the underdark. My DM is running “Night Below” where we have to deal with Mind Flayers and Aboleths. During this adventure, my wizard has been attacked by the party member multiple times mostly due to being dominated. In addition, the party has befriended a character who was trying to kill us but then decided to join us and help us out if we spared her. My character does not trust this NPC as she was helping the main bad guys for money and she had previously killed her own father. The Druid has really taking a liking to her so she will not allow any harm to come to her to the point of attacking other members of the party. The last time my wizard was attacked, the NPC was dominated and tried to kill me along with the Druid. I feel like my wizard does not feel safe around this group. While the attacks were not personal, they happened about 5 different times and he has grown very distrustful of the druid as she does not seem to care about attacking me (wizard) after talking to the bad NPC.
I would like some advice from the community, should the wizard stay or leave the group?
I mean, it'd make sense story-wise for your wizard to leave. What reasons does he even have for staying? Is there some quest he wants to complete that he might need the party for?
Not really, and to be honest, the reason the party came down into the underdark was to get an item that we successfully acquired. Everything else is just heroics.
What is the motivation behind these attacks? Is this part of the campaign (the NPC and PC are under the control of an Aboleth, for example). Or is the DM and others just messing with you? Maybe time for a chat with your DM before you leave...
Well, the party is confronting lots of mindflayers and we are going to take on aboleths who use lots of mind domination. See I'm playing a young gnome who really wants to help people because he is a good hearted gnome. While he understands that mind control is possible when fighting these creatures, no in the group seems to be talking about some sort of solution or even talked to him about the attacks. The last time my character got attacked by the party there were 6 allies going for him. Four summoned creatures, the druid, and a rogue. No one seems to even care that this happened. I feel like this should have some sort of PTSD or other physiological affect on him. Do you guys think as a character that he would be hesitant to continue when his allies can turn on him at any moment?
I feel like this should have some sort of PTSD or other physiological affect on him. Do you guys think as a character that he would be hesitant to continue when his allies can turn on him at any moment?
Yes of course! Either something is going-on storywise behind the scenes between the DM/NPC and the Druid or you've just encountered a couple rotten eggs. Why would anyone in this situation stay?
If you haven't already, bring up the topic of a solution, and how your gnome is dealing with all of this. He's probably beginning to show the signs of an abused person, and some third and fourth order effects from the symptoms--he's probably not sleeping very well, for example, so he's probably not able to concentrate, which might lead to his spells going awry. He's also probably developing a hypervigilance toward these two, and is likely very sensitive to changes in their mood--but, just like an abusive person, they could just as easily snap without warning, leading to constant stress on his part. Chronic stress effects a lot of physiology--eating much more or less than normal, lessened ability to absorb nutrients, frequent headaches, and a lowered immune response, among others. Depending on how long it's been going on, he could have any or all of these.
I would probably leave after making my point, however, regardless of what's decided.
I'd suggest talking to the group as a player before making changes to your character and your roleplay. Just going off of what you have described, it feels like you're going for a very story-driven, character-based style of roleplay, one that's more serious and embraces drama (note that I am not saying dramatic).
Similarly, based off of what you have told us, it sounds as if the rest of the group is not. Your character sounds interesting to me, and your ideas on how to explore this conflict both internally and outward would be a welcome sight in any game I'd want to join in. But it sounds to me like you may be the odd one out here, that you're playing at a different level then the rest of the group.
Talk with them about it, see if this is true. They may not want to roleplay this out like you do, or maybe they're just not seeing the possibility to do so and would welcome it. If they don't, then it'll be your responsibility to either go with the group's preference or, if that's just not fun for you, to find another group.
Yes I am going to agree. This is a topic to bring to the DM. In person if you are comfortable with that. As it will allow for some give and take that might come across differently in an email. Express your problem as openly as you can, but be prepared that DM might not do a whole lot. The bad guys are likely not going to stop dominating fighters to and attacking lightly armored wizards.
After that I would try to talk to the Druid, and say, hey this is what you did, I understand how and why, but my character is feeling pretty abused, can you make and effort to help out here. It is making things not fun. Most players should want to help out.
Once you have expressed concern, I would use invisibility and then hide and do everything you can to protect yourself. This mean not doing anything that would break invisibility. Pretty sure that once that combat is over, an in game conversation will happen about the abuses your character has suffered. I would then use that as an opportunity to express concerns and loyalties. If you have talked to the DM and the other player, this should not come as a surprise. Good luck CoffeeShark... let us know if things get worked out. Otherwise, Gnome your way over to the sverfneblin and hang out with them. They are very interesting.
Ok, I talked to the DM yesterday (via text) and it seems to me that he does not see why Rufio (my wizard) would have these feelings. He believes that Rufio should understand that the monsters we face have the ability to mind control and therefore should not take these attacks personally. He believes that Rufio should be a hero above all other things and if he leaves then he clearly does not care about taking taking out the bad guys and doing the ultimate right thing. When I told him Rufio does not see himself as a hero, the DM kind of mixed together the character and the player together saying that by the fact that I chose this character to play as that he is a hero and that’s how I should play him as. To me it seems like the DM was telling me to ignore what happened as a player and move on. What is your guys’ opinion? Does the DM have a point on this?
Yes, he does have a point, insofar as his table is concerned. Reading what you wrote about the other players, I'm guessing that they're inclined to his way of thinking as well.
To reiterate, it seems like you and the rest of the group have different expectations of the game. This is one of the reasons why a session zero can be so helpful, and why everybody should be upfront with what their expectations are at the very beginning. Nobody here is in the wrong, you are all right and you all have a point. But what matters for each game is what does the whole of the group collectively want, and it really sounds like you're the odd one out here. Again, that doesn't make your fun wrong, but it might not be the right fit for this group.
It seems to me like you have a choice:
One, you can go along with the program and modify how you're playing this Rufio character. The concept that every player character is at its very base a hero adventurer is not an uncommon thing, but the DM should have made that more clear from the get-go to avoid this issue. There remain a lot of ways in which you can continue to have fun as Rufio while taking this into account, and with minimal real change. If push came to shove, maybe ask your DM to roll a new character with all of this in mind.
Or two, you leave. You don't have to change your ways and you don't need to force yourself to play in some way you don't enjoy just to fit in. But if that means you're now at odds with the rest of the table, then nobody's really having fun. You and the group would be best served separating ways.
The third option, getting the group to maybe see your side of things and they shifting gears, isn't really all that reasonable and doesn't sound like it'd be plausible in this circumstance.
Once again, there's nothing wrong with how you want to play your character, it just doesn't sound like it's a good fit for that group.
Yeah, I am going to agree with Conn Eremon. There is only so much you can do if you see the game differently, and want a different experience from the game. Conn Eremon did a much better job of say it.
You have to ask yourself, is this time with these people fun? How much fun? Is there somewhere else where I could have more fun. There is no reason to continue to sit and play a game this is not fun or that is causing a constant frustration. I would try to sit down with your DM before or after your next game, ask questions of what he/she is expecting, explain what you are experiencing, and would like. If you feel there is no room for compromise, then you do have to make a choice of continuing at the table, making a new character, or leaving the game. If you do leave, do it respectfully, and in a way that will get you invited back to the next game. I want to repeat what was stated above, there is nothing wrong with wanting or playing your character your way. It seems to be a communication issue, with what everyone else wants and expects vs. what you want and expect.
Take care out there.
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Hello,
I play a gnome wizard who is currently dealing with stuffs in the underdark. My DM is running “Night Below” where we have to deal with Mind Flayers and Aboleths. During this adventure, my wizard has been attacked by the party member multiple times mostly due to being dominated. In addition, the party has befriended a character who was trying to kill us but then decided to join us and help us out if we spared her. My character does not trust this NPC as she was helping the main bad guys for money and she had previously killed her own father. The Druid has really taking a liking to her so she will not allow any harm to come to her to the point of attacking other members of the party. The last time my wizard was attacked, the NPC was dominated and tried to kill me along with the Druid. I feel like my wizard does not feel safe around this group. While the attacks were not personal, they happened about 5 different times and he has grown very distrustful of the druid as she does not seem to care about attacking me (wizard) after talking to the bad NPC.
I would like some advice from the community, should the wizard stay or leave the group?
I mean, it'd make sense story-wise for your wizard to leave. What reasons does he even have for staying? Is there some quest he wants to complete that he might need the party for?
Not really, and to be honest, the reason the party came down into the underdark was to get an item that we successfully acquired. Everything else is just heroics.
What is the motivation behind these attacks? Is this part of the campaign (the NPC and PC are under the control of an Aboleth, for example). Or is the DM and others just messing with you? Maybe time for a chat with your DM before you leave...
Well, the party is confronting lots of mindflayers and we are going to take on aboleths who use lots of mind domination. See I'm playing a young gnome who really wants to help people because he is a good hearted gnome. While he understands that mind control is possible when fighting these creatures, no in the group seems to be talking about some sort of solution or even talked to him about the attacks. The last time my character got attacked by the party there were 6 allies going for him. Four summoned creatures, the druid, and a rogue. No one seems to even care that this happened. I feel like this should have some sort of PTSD or other physiological affect on him. Do you guys think as a character that he would be hesitant to continue when his allies can turn on him at any moment?
Yes of course! Either something is going-on storywise behind the scenes between the DM/NPC and the Druid or you've just encountered a couple rotten eggs. Why would anyone in this situation stay?
If you haven't already, bring up the topic of a solution, and how your gnome is dealing with all of this. He's probably beginning to show the signs of an abused person, and some third and fourth order effects from the symptoms--he's probably not sleeping very well, for example, so he's probably not able to concentrate, which might lead to his spells going awry. He's also probably developing a hypervigilance toward these two, and is likely very sensitive to changes in their mood--but, just like an abusive person, they could just as easily snap without warning, leading to constant stress on his part. Chronic stress effects a lot of physiology--eating much more or less than normal, lessened ability to absorb nutrients, frequent headaches, and a lowered immune response, among others. Depending on how long it's been going on, he could have any or all of these.
I would probably leave after making my point, however, regardless of what's decided.
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ModeratorI'd suggest talking to the group as a player before making changes to your character and your roleplay. Just going off of what you have described, it feels like you're going for a very story-driven, character-based style of roleplay, one that's more serious and embraces drama (note that I am not saying dramatic).
Similarly, based off of what you have told us, it sounds as if the rest of the group is not. Your character sounds interesting to me, and your ideas on how to explore this conflict both internally and outward would be a welcome sight in any game I'd want to join in. But it sounds to me like you may be the odd one out here, that you're playing at a different level then the rest of the group.
Talk with them about it, see if this is true. They may not want to roleplay this out like you do, or maybe they're just not seeing the possibility to do so and would welcome it. If they don't, then it'll be your responsibility to either go with the group's preference or, if that's just not fun for you, to find another group.
Yes I am going to agree. This is a topic to bring to the DM. In person if you are comfortable with that. As it will allow for some give and take that might come across differently in an email. Express your problem as openly as you can, but be prepared that DM might not do a whole lot. The bad guys are likely not going to stop dominating fighters to and attacking lightly armored wizards.
After that I would try to talk to the Druid, and say, hey this is what you did, I understand how and why, but my character is feeling pretty abused, can you make and effort to help out here. It is making things not fun. Most players should want to help out.
Once you have expressed concern, I would use invisibility and then hide and do everything you can to protect yourself. This mean not doing anything that would break invisibility. Pretty sure that once that combat is over, an in game conversation will happen about the abuses your character has suffered. I would then use that as an opportunity to express concerns and loyalties. If you have talked to the DM and the other player, this should not come as a surprise.
Good luck CoffeeShark... let us know if things get worked out. Otherwise, Gnome your way over to the sverfneblin and hang out with them. They are very interesting.
Ok, I talked to the DM yesterday (via text) and it seems to me that he does not see why Rufio (my wizard) would have these feelings. He believes that Rufio should understand that the monsters we face have the ability to mind control and therefore should not take these attacks personally. He believes that Rufio should be a hero above all other things and if he leaves then he clearly does not care about taking taking out the bad guys and doing the ultimate right thing. When I told him Rufio does not see himself as a hero, the DM kind of mixed together the character and the player together saying that by the fact that I chose this character to play as that he is a hero and that’s how I should play him as. To me it seems like the DM was telling me to ignore what happened as a player and move on. What is your guys’ opinion? Does the DM have a point on this?
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ModeratorYes, he does have a point, insofar as his table is concerned. Reading what you wrote about the other players, I'm guessing that they're inclined to his way of thinking as well.
To reiterate, it seems like you and the rest of the group have different expectations of the game. This is one of the reasons why a session zero can be so helpful, and why everybody should be upfront with what their expectations are at the very beginning. Nobody here is in the wrong, you are all right and you all have a point. But what matters for each game is what does the whole of the group collectively want, and it really sounds like you're the odd one out here. Again, that doesn't make your fun wrong, but it might not be the right fit for this group.
It seems to me like you have a choice:
One, you can go along with the program and modify how you're playing this Rufio character. The concept that every player character is at its very base a hero adventurer is not an uncommon thing, but the DM should have made that more clear from the get-go to avoid this issue. There remain a lot of ways in which you can continue to have fun as Rufio while taking this into account, and with minimal real change. If push came to shove, maybe ask your DM to roll a new character with all of this in mind.
Or two, you leave. You don't have to change your ways and you don't need to force yourself to play in some way you don't enjoy just to fit in. But if that means you're now at odds with the rest of the table, then nobody's really having fun. You and the group would be best served separating ways.
The third option, getting the group to maybe see your side of things and they shifting gears, isn't really all that reasonable and doesn't sound like it'd be plausible in this circumstance.
Once again, there's nothing wrong with how you want to play your character, it just doesn't sound like it's a good fit for that group.
Yeah, I am going to agree with Conn Eremon. There is only so much you can do if you see the game differently, and want a different experience from the game. Conn Eremon did a much better job of say it.
You have to ask yourself, is this time with these people fun? How much fun? Is there somewhere else where I could have more fun. There is no reason to continue to sit and play a game this is not fun or that is causing a constant frustration.
I would try to sit down with your DM before or after your next game, ask questions of what he/she is expecting, explain what you are experiencing, and would like. If you feel there is no room for compromise, then you do have to make a choice of continuing at the table, making a new character, or leaving the game. If you do leave, do it respectfully, and in a way that will get you invited back to the next game.
I want to repeat what was stated above, there is nothing wrong with wanting or playing your character your way. It seems to be a communication issue, with what everyone else wants and expects vs. what you want and expect.
Take care out there.