Hi, I would love to get some feedback on my first character.
He is a barbarian monk. He was cursed before birth by a jealous family member. His mother died in childbirth, and his father did his best to raise him but died a few years later of a broken heart and sickness. None of his other family would tak e him in so he became an orphan living on the streets. He struggled to survive doing whatever he had to just to live. He discovered cage fighting and saw the money that could be made there. He got his ass handed to him in his first few fights, but quickly became better and better. With each fight he began to feel that something was different with him. The more intense the fight the stronger and faster he seemed to become, but with the elevated strength and speed also came a feeling of something or someone else taking control of his body. The more he fought he began to feel the urge to not just beat his opponent but utterly destroy them. He even began to hear a voice demanding that he kill whoever challenged him. He began to struggle to keep control as each fight passed until finally he blacked out in a fight and once he came to he stood over the body of a man that had been dismantled ( basically every bone and joint had been shattered). He decided that from that day forward he would not rest till he found a way to rid himself of this thing inside him.
Would love to hear thoughts on the story. To much for a level 1 character? What would be a good race? Name?
Try to think a little about the emotions that your character feels about this. Did the character willingly take part in the cage fights? Is the character upset that they effectively murdered someone? Would they do it again? Did the experience change how they felt about their situation?
As for race - I'm assuming standard Forgotten Realms here, but I would talk to your DM about this and ask their advice, given the character background. Races that are often picked for Monk are those with statistical bonuses to Dexterity (or Wisdom): Human, Elf, Halfling, Tabaxi.
On the mechanical side - when you mention the character is a Barbarian Monk - those are both the names of classes in D&D 5th edition. At 1st level you only have one class (your "starting" class). Whilst I am sure multiclassing Barbarian and Monk could prove interesting, it is my experience that these two classes don't combine well as many of their features don't work with the features of the other class. For example, both classes have a feature called "Unarmored Defense" which is stated in the multiclassing rules, "If you already have the Unarmored Defense feature, you can't gain it again from another class."
At level one, you start with one class and from what you describe it sounds more like a Barbarian class (the Rage ability etc.). The conflicting thing with your backstory is, that Barbarians have pretty good control about their Rage and it seems to me, you want to have the "going berserk" to be an uncontrollable thing. You could establish a house rule with your DM, making a wisdom saving throw to not attack allied players or NPCs when all the foes are gone.
I think you have chosen Monk for the discipline to control the berserker in you? Perhaps you want to go a different route with that and focus more on "what the curse is, and how to get rid of it" (long term character motivation). Why was the curse spoken in the first place? (Why was the unborn child cursed and not the parents? Why was the family member jealous?) Do you fight the curse yourself (by becoming more disciplined), can you atone (by setting things right you parents have done wrong) or can it be lifted by divine/magical means (destroying the focus that was used in casting the curse, getting help from a celestial creature etc. )
Thanks for the advice. I want the character to be a good willed character that doesn't want to kill, but when he loses control to this curse he has no recollection of what happens. It's like he blacks out and this other being or force does as it pleases. I even thought about placing a timer on the character in a fight. I would give him say 10 to 15 minutes to end a fight or he has to leave the fight or tell his allies to run or run the risk of losing control and killing everything standing around him. He is upset and mad that he actually killed someone that is why he wants this thing out of him.
As for the cage fights he was reluctant to fight at first but seeing that he could make some ok money and survive he began to fight more and more even beginning to enjoy the cheers of the crowd and hearing them chant his name.
I want him to almost be afraid or hate the thought of using a weapon for the simple fact that it would make it even easier to kill again. That is why I was thinking of the monk class. I could pick up the barbarian for the rage later. (The rage basically being when the force or entity takes over)
As for race I was thinking just to go with a human or maybe a half elf or elf.
I was also thinking that since he became a orphan at a young age he isn't the smartest guy. He had knowledge of the streets but not much book knowledge. He had heard rumors from his father before he died that he may of known who spoke the curse against his child but never found a concrete answer. He wants to find out what this curse is but more importantly he just wants it to be broken so he can live in peace knowing that he will never kill again without reason
If you were a player at my table at a "session zero" I would do this: - "Mate, keep it simple for you and for your DM." :D - You back story involves a blood curse you know the following things about 1. Whenever you physically harm someone that is killed in the process, a crimson symbol manifests on the back of your left hand. Make a WIS saving throw with disadvantage or attack the person/creature next to you. You can try to regain control each new combat round as a bonus action by succeeding a WIS saving throw. Your character will have no memory of what has happened after the first failed ST. 2. You know you relatives have called you a cursed child when you were very young and blamed "person x" for being responsible for that. Right now, you know nothing more, but you are curious after what has happened after experienced the first "berserk state". 3. To find answers, you heard you can talk to "person y / organization y" to get more information about blood curses and the symbol on your hand.
Leave the rest to the upcoming adventures & do not plan you complete past & future at the beginning of the campaign.
This allows you to be less constrained about what to chose as a class. I would not take Barbarian (because that one can control his rage). If you really want to go Monk, talk to your DM about what archetype fits you character best (I would say Open Hand or Tranquillity), yo he can incorporate that into the sessions, when you level up. Perhaps a local hermit or monastery will be the ones your DM decides can help you with the curse, or a sacret scroll you find, a symbol on the tomb of a fallen hero... etc.
So I think I have fleshed out the backstory for my character.
His name is Artemus. He is a monk (cage fighter)
He was cursed with a blood curse before birth. His mother passed during his birth and his father did his best to raise him but passed a few years after from a broken heart and sickness. During the few years he was with his father he heard family members call him cursed and said that his aunt Celia was the one who placed the curse on him. None of his family was willing to take him in so he ended up living on the streets. He did what he had to to survive. It hurt him to have steal, he even vowed to repay those he stole from.
When he reached his teenage years he found a local hidden cage fighting group. He felt a strange pull to at first watch then soon join in. His first fights were pretty bad. He got his ass handed to him but this strange feeling kept pulling him back for more. The more fights he participated in he began to win more than lose. He used his winnings to pay back those he wronged. As he began to face more skilled opponents he began to feel this growing urge to not just win but totally decimate whoever stood before him. He even began to hear a voice demand carnage from him. The blood from his opponents and even from himself seem to drive him toward an uncontrollable rage. He noticed a mark began to form on his left hand during each fight. It was as if the blood he spilled formed the mark. He learned that the faster a fight ended he was able to control the urge. He did well until a opponent pushed him to far and he lost control. He blacked out and when he came to he stood over the dead body of his oppointent was horrified by the sight of a body that seemed to have every bone and joint shattered and its throat ripped out. He looked down seeing himself drenched in blood. The crowd stood silent at what they had witnessed. Artemus vowed that from that day forward he would find a way to rid himself of this curse
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Hi, I would love to get some feedback on my first character.
He is a barbarian monk. He was cursed before birth by a jealous family member. His mother died in childbirth, and his father did his best to raise him but died a few years later of a broken heart and sickness. None of his other family would tak e him in so he became an orphan living on the streets. He struggled to survive doing whatever he had to just to live. He discovered cage fighting and saw the money that could be made there. He got his ass handed to him in his first few fights, but quickly became better and better. With each fight he began to feel that something was different with him. The more intense the fight the stronger and faster he seemed to become, but with the elevated strength and speed also came a feeling of something or someone else taking control of his body. The more he fought he began to feel the urge to not just beat his opponent but utterly destroy them. He even began to hear a voice demanding that he kill whoever challenged him. He began to struggle to keep control as each fight passed until finally he blacked out in a fight and once he came to he stood over the body of a man that had been dismantled ( basically every bone and joint had been shattered). He decided that from that day forward he would not rest till he found a way to rid himself of this thing inside him.
Would love to hear thoughts on the story. To much for a level 1 character? What would be a good race? Name?
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D&D Beyond FoundersHi there,
seems like a decent origin story to me!
Try to think a little about the emotions that your character feels about this. Did the character willingly take part in the cage fights? Is the character upset that they effectively murdered someone? Would they do it again? Did the experience change how they felt about their situation?
As for race - I'm assuming standard Forgotten Realms here, but I would talk to your DM about this and ask their advice, given the character background. Races that are often picked for Monk are those with statistical bonuses to Dexterity (or Wisdom): Human, Elf, Halfling, Tabaxi.
On the mechanical side - when you mention the character is a Barbarian Monk - those are both the names of classes in D&D 5th edition. At 1st level you only have one class (your "starting" class). Whilst I am sure multiclassing Barbarian and Monk could prove interesting, it is my experience that these two classes don't combine well as many of their features don't work with the features of the other class. For example, both classes have a feature called "Unarmored Defense" which is stated in the multiclassing rules, "If you already have the Unarmored Defense feature, you can't gain it again from another class."
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At level one, you start with one class and from what you describe it sounds more like a Barbarian class (the Rage ability etc.). The conflicting thing with your backstory is, that Barbarians have pretty good control about their Rage and it seems to me, you want to have the "going berserk" to be an uncontrollable thing.
You could establish a house rule with your DM, making a wisdom saving throw to not attack allied players or NPCs when all the foes are gone.
I think you have chosen Monk for the discipline to control the berserker in you? Perhaps you want to go a different route with that and focus more on "what the curse is, and how to get rid of it" (long term character motivation).
Why was the curse spoken in the first place? (Why was the unborn child cursed and not the parents? Why was the family member jealous?) Do you fight the curse yourself (by becoming more disciplined), can you atone (by setting things right you parents have done wrong) or can it be lifted by divine/magical means (destroying the focus that was used in casting the curse, getting help from a celestial creature etc. )
Thanks for the advice. I want the character to be a good willed character that doesn't want to kill, but when he loses control to this curse he has no recollection of what happens. It's like he blacks out and this other being or force does as it pleases. I even thought about placing a timer on the character in a fight. I would give him say 10 to 15 minutes to end a fight or he has to leave the fight or tell his allies to run or run the risk of losing control and killing everything standing around him. He is upset and mad that he actually killed someone that is why he wants this thing out of him.
As for the cage fights he was reluctant to fight at first but seeing that he could make some ok money and survive he began to fight more and more even beginning to enjoy the cheers of the crowd and hearing them chant his name.
I want him to almost be afraid or hate the thought of using a weapon for the simple fact that it would make it even easier to kill again. That is why I was thinking of the monk class. I could pick up the barbarian for the rage later. (The rage basically being when the force or entity takes over)
As for race I was thinking just to go with a human or maybe a half elf or elf.
I was also thinking that since he became a orphan at a young age he isn't the smartest guy. He had knowledge of the streets but not much book knowledge. He had heard rumors from his father before he died that he may of known who spoke the curse against his child but never found a concrete answer. He wants to find out what this curse is but more importantly he just wants it to be broken so he can live in peace knowing that he will never kill again without reason
If you were a player at my table at a "session zero" I would do this:
- "Mate, keep it simple for you and for your DM." :D
- You back story involves a blood curse you know the following things about
1. Whenever you physically harm someone that is killed in the process, a crimson symbol manifests on the back of your left hand. Make a WIS saving throw with disadvantage or attack the person/creature next to you. You can try to regain control each new combat round as a bonus action by succeeding a WIS saving throw. Your character will have no memory of what has happened after the first failed ST.
2. You know you relatives have called you a cursed child when you were very young and blamed "person x" for being responsible for that. Right now, you know nothing more, but you are curious after what has happened after experienced the first "berserk state".
3. To find answers, you heard you can talk to "person y / organization y" to get more information about blood curses and the symbol on your hand.
Leave the rest to the upcoming adventures & do not plan you complete past & future at the beginning of the campaign.
This allows you to be less constrained about what to chose as a class.
I would not take Barbarian (because that one can control his rage). If you really want to go Monk, talk to your DM about what archetype fits you character best (I would say Open Hand or Tranquillity), yo he can incorporate that into the sessions, when you level up. Perhaps a local hermit or monastery will be the ones your DM decides can help you with the curse, or a sacret scroll you find, a symbol on the tomb of a fallen hero... etc.
Thank you so much. This is a great help.
So I think I have fleshed out the backstory for my character.
His name is Artemus. He is a monk (cage fighter)
He was cursed with a blood curse before birth. His mother passed during his birth and his father did his best to raise him but passed a few years after from a broken heart and sickness. During the few years he was with his father he heard family members call him cursed and said that his aunt Celia was the one who placed the curse on him. None of his family was willing to take him in so he ended up living on the streets. He did what he had to to survive. It hurt him to have steal, he even vowed to repay those he stole from.
When he reached his teenage years he found a local hidden cage fighting group. He felt a strange pull to at first watch then soon join in. His first fights were pretty bad. He got his ass handed to him but this strange feeling kept pulling him back for more. The more fights he participated in he began to win more than lose. He used his winnings to pay back those he wronged. As he began to face more skilled opponents he began to feel this growing urge to not just win but totally decimate whoever stood before him. He even began to hear a voice demand carnage from him. The blood from his opponents and even from himself seem to drive him toward an uncontrollable rage. He noticed a mark began to form on his left hand during each fight. It was as if the blood he spilled formed the mark. He learned that the faster a fight ended he was able to control the urge. He did well until a opponent pushed him to far and he lost control. He blacked out and when he came to he stood over the dead body of his oppointent was horrified by the sight of a body that seemed to have every bone and joint shattered and its throat ripped out. He looked down seeing himself drenched in blood. The crowd stood silent at what they had witnessed. Artemus vowed that from that day forward he would find a way to rid himself of this curse