Disclaimer:If you’re not into heavy RP and RP “theory”, this post will very likely annoy the heck out of you, so stop reading now if that is the case. Not everyone RPs, not everyone RPs the same, there is no right/wrong/good/bad, there is simply what you enjoy in your games. Also, wall of text, so be warned.
At the highest levels, DnD/RP is essentially moderated improv. The “moderation” is in multiple forms, from the GM defining the world and reality to the game rules structuring the play. Because of this, most of the mechanics of improv apply to such gaming sessions, which includes the concept of the “offer”.
An “offer” is just that, a thing that is offered, put out there, for others to use. From players, an offer could be a background hook, a piece of their character’s concept, a behavior or mannerism in their character’s personality for others to interact with. From the GM, it’s story elements, interesting NPCs or objects, situations the GM creates for the players to decide if they want to be involved. There’s lots of articles out on the ‘net about “yes and…”, “yes but…”, etc, all addressing how to courteously handle offers to keep the narrative going, so I’m not going to go into that.
What I want to discuss is “best practices” for creating offers in the first place. Yes, to keep the game going it is ideal that everyone uses “yes and…”, but not all offers should be picked up and propagated, there are some genuinely awful offers out there that should be dropped for the good of the game. It is the responsibility of everyone at the table to make sure the offers they create will advance the game in a direction the other folks want to go. Making awful offers that fall flat make everyone uncomfortable.
For example, as a GM, you present an NPC to the party that is key to your storyline and the “hook” to get the players to go where you want to them go…and they don’t bite. Don’t spend the next 30 min of game time burying the players in details about this NPC that they are not interested in with the hopes that they’ll eventually be interested or at least surrender to make you stop talking about it. If the players don’t bite the hook, then give them a different hook, change the hook, change the bait, etc.
Your NPC is in trouble and needs the party’s help, but the players aren’t interested in helping them…why not? What are your players actually interested in doing? Learn your players’ interests and motivations and make sure your hooks have bait that your players will bite. They are more interested in money? Maybe the NPC isn’t looking for help but instead has a business opportunity. They want glory? Maybe the NPC is a bard who has a tale of legendary loot that will make them famous. Tailor your offers to the interests of your players and you’re far more likely to maintain “control” of them. That’s the #1 complaint I read from newer GMs, “my players are not doing what I want them to do!” Of course they aren’t, they’re a herd of cats. It’s the GM’s job to lay down the bread crumbs to the destination they want, and if they want it to work, they need to be crumbs the players are actually interested in. Yes, a good Brecht party will go wherever you want them to, but it’s a lot more fun for everyone involved if it seems like it was the player’s idea.
For players the idea is the same. If the player develops their 30 page backstory in a vacuum then shoves it in the GM’s face, “here’s 1200 story offers, use them”, they’re likely going to fall flat. Ideally the player collaborates with the GM, they exchange offers to build the story, and both walk away with an enjoyable character that is plugged into the world. During a session, if a player wants their character to do something in the game, they should offer it in such a manner that moves the game forward. For example, “my barbarian stabs the merchant in the face!” is most certainly an offer, but will it move the story alone and/or help the party accomplish their goals, or is it just a “chaotic jerk thing I want to do”? When making an offer as a player, ideally the player wants to take into consideration the other players, the GM, the surroundings, the story, and make an offer that fits into all of the above. Such offers are far more likely to be picked up and run with vs left to fall flat and leaving everyone frustrated or annoyed.
I’m making this post because I’ve run into issues recently with “poor offers” more than a few times in multiple sessions/games and wanted to offer advice in general to help with them. The primary awful offers I’ve been seeing are in the arena of romance, and they were ridiculously uncomfortable for everyone involved, so I wanted to post some suggestions here in the hopes that they will help folks and not be mocked and flamed into oblivion. 40+ years ago when I started GMing this wasn’t an issue we thought about because it was rare to have even 1 girl at the table. Fast-forward to now, when women make up over half of the players in all of my games. That more people are feeling welcome and getting into RP is awesome — and it also means those of us who have been around for a while may be used to some things being “fine” because no one in a group of guys was uncomfortable with them, that aren’t so comfortable for people whose life experiences are more different from ours.
If you’re the GM, you’ve created an NPC specifically to be attractive to one of your players, and they don’t bite, let it go. Seriously. Don’t push, don’t sit there and describe how aggressively hot they are and how interested they are, etc. to belabor the point. When it comes to potential romance, less is always more, especially from the GM. Also, before even considering this, please take into account your audience and the comfort levels of the other players, and for heaven’s sake, don’t do it at the low levels in a new game where you don’t know your players. Keep it vague, simple, and subtle, and if the player accepts the offer with “yes and…” then feel free to advance it, but never put your players in the position of feeling like the GM is trying to “hook them up” with their NPCs.
If you’re a player, and you hit on everything that moves and the GM's NPCs never bite, just let it go, unless you’re doing it to be comical, and even then maybe let it go. And again, consider the audience, the GM, the other players, and the setting. Do the other players want to watch you have a romantic relationship with that vampire? Does it enrich the story for everyone at the table, or just you? Just because you can does not mean you should. Talk to the GM offline and find out their interest level to make sure the offers ever have a chance, or you simply fill the game with unwelcome offers and make everyone uncomfortable in the process.
If you are player and are considering having your character hit on another character, talk to the other player first, in detail, and make 100% sure they are OK with it. Few things kill a game faster than one player making another player uncomfortable with unwelcome in-game advances. Coordinate it offline, establish the conditions and boundaries, and make sure the GM is aware and OK with it. Additionally, take into consideration the other players and their comfort levels and boundaries. Maybe the other players aren’t interested in hearing you role play out you having the bard play your flute. Liberal use of “and fade to black” should be used here.
Offers are an amazing improv tool and the more there are on the table, the richer the game can be. We just need to make sure that the offers we provide advance the story and don’t alienate the other players or the GM.
Ancient GM, started in '76, have played almost everything at some point or another.
I run/play Mercer-style games, heavy on the RP and interaction, light on the combat-monster and rule-lawyering. The goal is to tell an epic story with the players and the players are as involved in the world building as the GM is. I run and play a very Brechtian style, am huge into RP theory and love discussing improv and offers.
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Disclaimer: If you’re not into heavy RP and RP “theory”, this post will very likely annoy the heck out of you, so stop reading now if that is the case. Not everyone RPs, not everyone RPs the same, there is no right/wrong/good/bad, there is simply what you enjoy in your games. Also, wall of text, so be warned.
At the highest levels, DnD/RP is essentially moderated improv. The “moderation” is in multiple forms, from the GM defining the world and reality to the game rules structuring the play. Because of this, most of the mechanics of improv apply to such gaming sessions, which includes the concept of the “offer”.
An “offer” is just that, a thing that is offered, put out there, for others to use. From players, an offer could be a background hook, a piece of their character’s concept, a behavior or mannerism in their character’s personality for others to interact with. From the GM, it’s story elements, interesting NPCs or objects, situations the GM creates for the players to decide if they want to be involved. There’s lots of articles out on the ‘net about “yes and…”, “yes but…”, etc, all addressing how to courteously handle offers to keep the narrative going, so I’m not going to go into that.
What I want to discuss is “best practices” for creating offers in the first place. Yes, to keep the game going it is ideal that everyone uses “yes and…”, but not all offers should be picked up and propagated, there are some genuinely awful offers out there that should be dropped for the good of the game. It is the responsibility of everyone at the table to make sure the offers they create will advance the game in a direction the other folks want to go. Making awful offers that fall flat make everyone uncomfortable.
For example, as a GM, you present an NPC to the party that is key to your storyline and the “hook” to get the players to go where you want to them go…and they don’t bite. Don’t spend the next 30 min of game time burying the players in details about this NPC that they are not interested in with the hopes that they’ll eventually be interested or at least surrender to make you stop talking about it. If the players don’t bite the hook, then give them a different hook, change the hook, change the bait, etc.
Your NPC is in trouble and needs the party’s help, but the players aren’t interested in helping them…why not? What are your players actually interested in doing? Learn your players’ interests and motivations and make sure your hooks have bait that your players will bite. They are more interested in money? Maybe the NPC isn’t looking for help but instead has a business opportunity. They want glory? Maybe the NPC is a bard who has a tale of legendary loot that will make them famous. Tailor your offers to the interests of your players and you’re far more likely to maintain “control” of them. That’s the #1 complaint I read from newer GMs, “my players are not doing what I want them to do!” Of course they aren’t, they’re a herd of cats. It’s the GM’s job to lay down the bread crumbs to the destination they want, and if they want it to work, they need to be crumbs the players are actually interested in. Yes, a good Brecht party will go wherever you want them to, but it’s a lot more fun for everyone involved if it seems like it was the player’s idea.
For players the idea is the same. If the player develops their 30 page backstory in a vacuum then shoves it in the GM’s face, “here’s 1200 story offers, use them”, they’re likely going to fall flat. Ideally the player collaborates with the GM, they exchange offers to build the story, and both walk away with an enjoyable character that is plugged into the world. During a session, if a player wants their character to do something in the game, they should offer it in such a manner that moves the game forward. For example, “my barbarian stabs the merchant in the face!” is most certainly an offer, but will it move the story alone and/or help the party accomplish their goals, or is it just a “chaotic jerk thing I want to do”? When making an offer as a player, ideally the player wants to take into consideration the other players, the GM, the surroundings, the story, and make an offer that fits into all of the above. Such offers are far more likely to be picked up and run with vs left to fall flat and leaving everyone frustrated or annoyed.
I’m making this post because I’ve run into issues recently with “poor offers” more than a few times in multiple sessions/games and wanted to offer advice in general to help with them. The primary awful offers I’ve been seeing are in the arena of romance, and they were ridiculously uncomfortable for everyone involved, so I wanted to post some suggestions here in the hopes that they will help folks and not be mocked and flamed into oblivion. 40+ years ago when I started GMing this wasn’t an issue we thought about because it was rare to have even 1 girl at the table. Fast-forward to now, when women make up over half of the players in all of my games. That more people are feeling welcome and getting into RP is awesome — and it also means those of us who have been around for a while may be used to some things being “fine” because no one in a group of guys was uncomfortable with them, that aren’t so comfortable for people whose life experiences are more different from ours.
If you’re the GM, you’ve created an NPC specifically to be attractive to one of your players, and they don’t bite, let it go. Seriously. Don’t push, don’t sit there and describe how aggressively hot they are and how interested they are, etc. to belabor the point. When it comes to potential romance, less is always more, especially from the GM. Also, before even considering this, please take into account your audience and the comfort levels of the other players, and for heaven’s sake, don’t do it at the low levels in a new game where you don’t know your players. Keep it vague, simple, and subtle, and if the player accepts the offer with “yes and…” then feel free to advance it, but never put your players in the position of feeling like the GM is trying to “hook them up” with their NPCs.
If you’re a player, and you hit on everything that moves and the GM's NPCs never bite, just let it go, unless you’re doing it to be comical, and even then maybe let it go. And again, consider the audience, the GM, the other players, and the setting. Do the other players want to watch you have a romantic relationship with that vampire? Does it enrich the story for everyone at the table, or just you? Just because you can does not mean you should. Talk to the GM offline and find out their interest level to make sure the offers ever have a chance, or you simply fill the game with unwelcome offers and make everyone uncomfortable in the process.
If you are player and are considering having your character hit on another character, talk to the other player first, in detail, and make 100% sure they are OK with it. Few things kill a game faster than one player making another player uncomfortable with unwelcome in-game advances. Coordinate it offline, establish the conditions and boundaries, and make sure the GM is aware and OK with it. Additionally, take into consideration the other players and their comfort levels and boundaries. Maybe the other players aren’t interested in hearing you role play out you having the bard play your flute. Liberal use of “and fade to black” should be used here.
Offers are an amazing improv tool and the more there are on the table, the richer the game can be. We just need to make sure that the offers we provide advance the story and don’t alienate the other players or the GM.
Ancient GM, started in '76, have played almost everything at some point or another.
I run/play Mercer-style games, heavy on the RP and interaction, light on the combat-monster and rule-lawyering. The goal is to tell an epic story with the players and the players are as involved in the world building as the GM is. I run and play a very Brechtian style, am huge into RP theory and love discussing improv and offers.