This guide was inspired by a throwaway comment in Treantmonk's wizard guide. Because yes, I'm that kind of crazy. I'm also lazy, so I'll use his roles and rating system. Go read his guide.
Now, this guide is specifically for warlocks that dumped Charisma, so I'm going to assume that you have 8 (-1) Charisma, or 13 (+1) if you want to multiclass.
Ability Scores
Str: Hexblades use this for longswords, glaives, and greatswords. Elves use this for longswords. You know dwarves and githyanki. Everyone else uses this for quarterstaves, spears, handaxes, and javelins. Goes up to a high green if you have heavy armor and you're not a dwarf.
Dex: AC, initiative, a major save, some useful skills . . . this is very important for most characters, but goes down to greenif you have medium armor, or purple if you have heavy armor.
Con: On the one hand, this doesn't affect AC, initiative, or skills. On the other hand, it does affect hit points and concentration saves.
Int: Lots of skills, but only being a minor save hurts this.
Wis: Another major save, more useful skills. Probably the most important of each.
Cha: You're dumping this, remember?
Race
I'll start with the PHB races, I think, then come back later to add the rest of them.
Dragonborn: This is bad even if you can use both of the stat boosts, which you can't.
Dwarf, hill: Con, Wis, HP, weapons, and some other stuff. Goes up to green for a God Hexblade, which can use the stats and HP, gets medium armor, and doesn't need Str or Dex boosts.
Dwarf, mountain: Str, Con, medium armor, weapons, and the usual other stuff. Notably, doesn't get shields. Goes up to a low green for a non-Hexblade BSF, but there are better ways to do even that. Goes down to a low orange for a God Hexblade, which doesn't need Str and already has medium armor.
Elf, dark: You don't use Charisma. You have access to what's probably the best way of getting around Sunlight Sensitivity--but it renders Superior Darkvision obsolete. Dancing lights is okay, faerie fire is trash, and darkness is good, but not that good. At least the weapons are useful for a non-Hexblade. Gets a little better if you want to multiclass, especially if it's into a caster class.
Elf, high: Dex and Int are good. Shortswords and longbows are good. A wizard cantrip of your choice is good, especially since you can start with 16 Int if you want to. The Perception proficiency is what pushes it over the top.
Elf, wood: As high elf, but instead of Int, a language, and a wizard cantrip, you get Wis, 5 feet of movement, and Mask of the Wild.
Gnome, forest: Gnome Cunning is overrated, but still good. Minor illusion uses your spell save DC, but is still good enough for you to pick as a warlock cantrip, so getting it here is really good. Also, note that you get a Dex bonus and can still (if you're a Hexblade) wear medium armor and use a rapier.
Gnome, rock: Not as many goodies as the other subraces. Goes up to a low green if you're a God.
Half-elf: Even disregarding the Cha bonus, it's almost as good as a variant human. I am now sad.
Halfling, lightfoot: Nothing to see here. Move along.
Halfling, stout: Dex and Con make this a good choice for anyone, really. Goes up to a low blue for a Hexblade BSF. Pity about the speed, though.
Half-orc: Con and Relentless Endurance make it okay for anyone. Goes up to green for a Hexblade BSF.
Human, standard: I guess you can make this work. Goes up to a low green if you use point buy (put your one even stat in Cha) or rolled a lot of odd stats.
Human, variant: You know why this is this good.
Tiefling, Asmodeus: About the worst stats you could get and only a few other features. This would be red if not for thaumaturgy and darkness. It's still pretty close.
Class Features
Your most important class features get their own sections, as usual.
Hit points: A d8 Hit Die is bad for a BSF, but better than wizards and most sorcerers get.
Armor: Again, better than most wizards and sorcerers get, but still not all that good. You might still want mage armor.
Weapons: Yet again, better than most wizards and sorcerers get, but still nothing to write home about. You'll probably want to get a martial weapon or two somewhere if you're a BSF or a Glass Cannon.
Saving throws: Wis is the second most important save for most spellcasters, most important for anyone else. Cha saves are rare, but they tend to be pretty important.
Skills: You can be a skill monkey. This is not how.
Equipment: If you have extra weapon or armor proficiencies, you'll have to get the associated weapons or armor the hard way. Goes down to red in that case.
Otherworldly Patron: This is your subclass. It's important.
Pact Magic: This is most of your spellcasting. It's more important. Note that you don't get ritual casting.
Eldritch Invocations: Hey, look, another important thing that gives you stuff at multiple levels.
Pact Boon: Not as important as any of the last three, and it only shows up at one level, but it's still really good.
Ability Score Increases: If you're a BSF or a Glass Cannon, you really ought to max your attacking stat pretty quickly. Once that's done (or if you're a God), you can start taking feats.
Mystic Arcanum: This is the rest of your spellcasting. Note that you don't get to change these spells. Also note that, unlike normal full casters, you only ever get one of each level. And, of course, these don't use spell slots, so you can't upcast them. It's still a very high green, though.
Eldritch Master: Once per long rest, you can recover your spell slots in 1/60 the usual time. It's not great, but it's not nearly as bad as some people think. You can still skip it with impunity, though.
Subclass
I think I'll start with just the PHB Patrons, plus the Celestial and Hexblade, then come back later for the rest.
Archfey: You're just here for the spells and maybe Misty Escape. Goes up to a low green if you're a God.
Expanded Spell List: Best for a God, in which case it goes up to green.
Faerie fire: Concentration. Save for no effect. At least it's AoE.
Sleep: This is godly at low levels, and since you're a warlock, you can swap it out when it stops being useful.
Calm emotions: Use your concentration, your action, and a spell slot to suppress charmed and frightened in a 20' sphere? And a sufficiently charmed target can try a save to resist? No, thank you. At least it has an alternate mode that can prevent combat if all the potential enemies fail their saves . . .
Phantasmal force: Concentration. Single-target. Save for no effect.
Blink: Potent, if unreliable, defensive spell that lasts a minute with no concentration. You can take it if you want, I guess.
Plant growth: Put a soft lock on enemy movement in a 100' radius. Goes up to green if you're a God and the rest of your party can ignore it.
Dominate beast: Beasts tend not to have exceptional Wis saves, but just because it might work is no reason to think it's good.
Greater invisibility: A viable alternative to darkness + Devil's Sight, with the added advantages of not hampering your allies, being usable as a buff, and targeting an extra creature when cast at 5th level. 1/10 the duration, though.
Dominate person: It's more likely to have a worthwhile target than dominate beast, but less likely to work.
Seeming: Mass disguise self with an 8-hour duration. No concentration. If you can use it, it's really useful, but that's not all too likely.
Fey Presence: Nothing happens if they save. Being an AoE almost redeems this, but the extra-short duration sends it right back down to the bottom of the barrel.
Misty Escape: Once per rest, you can use your reaction to not die. I had it rated higher before I noticed that it triggers when you take damage, not when you're attacked. Goes up to green if your DM lets you get unseen-attacker advantage and you can use it.
Beguiling Defenses: The charm immunity is good, I guess.
Dark Delirium: This uses your concentration and probably won't even do anything. And it's limited-use.
Celestial: Good stuff at 1st and 14th. Not so much in between.
Expanded Spell List: You get one spell that's reasonably good and three that are decent. Unfortunately, the good one is 4th level and doesn't scale.
Cure wounds: No. No, no, no. You don't have Cha, you're not a Gimp, and this wouldn't be good even if you did and were.
Guiding bolt: You're also not a spell-based blaster.
Flaming sphere: Concentration for a weak hazard that takes your bonus action to move (interfering with Healing Light) and gives a save for half damage? No, thank you. Gets a little better at 6th level if you have enough Cha to multiclass. I suppose you can use it instead of hex, but why would you?
Lesser restoration: Useful if you can spare a spell pick.
Daylight: A driftglobe lets you cast this spell once per day as one of its properties. That should give you some idea of how good this is. At least it'll actually work if you cast it. . .
Revivify: Finally, something useful . . . if you have a spell slot available when your buddy dies. Which, since you're a warlock, you probably won't.
Guardian of faith: The 8-hour non-concentration duration means you can have several of these guys watching your back if you know where the enemy will be far enough in advance. Otherwise, it's a high-damage, no-friendly-fire hazard. Since it disappears after dealing a set amount of damage, the save for half doesn't hurt it as much.
Wall of fire: The damage gives a save for half. The wall itself is extra-porous. I'm sure it has uses, but there aren't very many.
Healing Light: Not only does this not use your Charisma for anything important, it's actually good, with each die being roughly equivalent to a healing word that doesn't restrict your action. Goes from a high green to a low blue if you don't have anything else to do with your bonus action.
Radiant Soul: You have resistance to radiant damage. Yay. Might be higher if you're likely to ever be exposed to a source of radiant damage.
Celestial Resistance: You get a bit of temporary HP after each rest. Up to five of your friends each get a smaller bit of temporary HP after each rest. Goes up to a low green if no one in the party has a better source of temporary HP, which almost any source is.
Searing Vengeance: Once per day, you get to come back from the dying with half your health, deal a bit of damage to all nearby enemies with no save, and blind all nearby enemies for the rest of your turn with no save? Nice. Only uses your Cha a little, too. It would go up a rank for a BSF, but it's already blue.
Fiend:I hope you like the warlock spell list, because that's about all you'll be using. Goes up to green for a Glass Cannon or BSF, especially a melee one, and can go up to blue if the stars align.
Expanded Spell List: Drool, drool. Goes up to orange for a melee character.
Burning hands: This is a low-damage, low-area AoE that gives a save for half and requires you to be in or near melee.
Command: Nothing happens on a save.
Blindness/deafness: Good if it works. Gives a save for no effect, so it won't.
Scorching ray: Requires you to hit with spell attacks.
Fireball: You're not a spell-based blaster, but this is one of the best blast spells around.
Stinking cloud: At least a target that saves isn't immune. . .
Fire shield: Goes all the way up to green for a melee Glass Cannon, or blue for a melee BSF.
Wall of fire: Been there, done that, wish I hadn't.
Flame strike: Why? Why do you get this? Never mind that, why does this even exist?
Hallow: Expensive, situational, and it takes 24 hours to cast. And you're limited in your choice of extra effect, because the ones that affect your enemies directly offer saving throws.
Dark One's Blessing: Get a bit of temporary HP when you down an enemy. Useful for when you lose armor of Agathys. Only goes down to orange for a God, since you'll probably be shooting people with your light crossbow when you run out of spells.
Dark One's Own Luck: +1d10 is pretty unreliable, and the timing issue just compounds the problem. Goes up to blue if your DM tells you the DC.
Fiendish Resilience: Resistance to one damage type of your choice, changable on a rest, except from silvered or magical weapons. Ranges from orange to blue, depending on the DM. Best against elemental dungeons, hordes of spearmen and archers, etc. Worst against werewolf-hunters, wielders of legendary magical weapons, etc.
Hurl Through Hell: 10d10 psychic damage and the target's AWOL for a round, with no save, when you hit with an attack. Goes down to green for a God, but you probably still have your light crossbow.
Great Old One: Okay. There are campaigns in which this is green, it's probably possible to make one in which this is blue, and I would very much enjoy playing in or running a campaign in which this is green or blue. There are also campaigns in which this is orange.
Expanded Spell List: This is almost as bad as the Fiend's list. Goes up to purple, or maybe green, in just the right campaign.
Dissonant whispers: Good if they fail the save. For you, not so much.
Tasha's hideous laughter: Ha! No.
Detect thoughts: Good for scouting, if you can spare the resources. Goes up to a high purple, maybe even green, in an intrigue campaign.
Phantasmal force: We've been over this.
Clairvoyance: Well, then. At least it has good range and targeting.
Sending: This usually won't be any good, but usually is not always.
Dominate beast: Hey, another Archfey reject.
Evard's black tentacles: This has the niche use of creating a 20-foot sphere that very few NPCs will willingly enter, not that they'd be in any significant danger if they did.
Dominate person: Figures you wouldn't just get dominate beast.
Telekinesis: This is usually going to be a waste of your concentration and your actions, but it goes up to green, or maybe even blue, if you regularly fight around hazards that weigh less than 1,000 pounds and that won't rely on your spell save DC.
Awakened Mind: Due to the precise wording, the creature you telepathically speak to does not get to telepathically speak back. Goes up to a low blue if your DM rules otherwise.
Entropic Ward: It's like a budget shield. Goes up to green if you can use the advantage.
Thought Shield: This is green or blue when it comes up, which is almost never.
Create Thrall: If an enemy is incapacitated, you can probably just kill them. The more powerful an NPC is--and thus the more useful this is to use on them--the less likely this is to actually work. The best thing I can come up with would be to talk a powerful, friendly NPC into letting you use this on them for the long-distance telepathy.
Hexblade: Talk about front-loaded--you get your best spell, your best feature, and another good feature at 1st level! Goes down to a high green for a God. Also goes down a step if you have all the weapon and armor proficiencies you need from somewhere else.
Expanded Spell List: You get some good defensive spells, but that's pretty much it. On the other hand, one of those spells is shield.
Shield: This isn't as good for you as it is for a normal caster, but it's still shield.
Wrathful smite: This isn't good for you, period.
Blur: Uses your concentration, which interferes with hex. Still pretty good, though. Goes down to a low orange for a Glass Cannon.
Branding smite: Still pretty circumstantial, but it's clearly better for you than wrathful smite.
Blink: This is not appreciably better or worse for you than for an Archfey warlock.
Elemental weapon: You have hex. This is only worth using if you're a God, in which case it goes up to purple, or if you're fighting something that's weaker to one of these damage types than to necrotic.
Phantasmal killer: So many saving throws to keep it from doing anything!
Staggering smite: Actually, the save makes this worse for you than branding smite.
Banishing smite: Not only does it do more damage than any other smite spell you get, it has a potent--if limited--secondary effect with no save.
Cone of cold: Yeah, no.
Hexblade's Curse: Once per rest, get a hex-like effect that only works on one target, doesn't use concentration, scales its damage with character level, and gives you a bit of healing when the target dies? Sounds good to me. Goes down to a high purple for a God.
Hex Warrior: Ah, here we are: the reason you're a Hexblade. Medium armor. Shields. Martial weapons. Almost as good for a God as for a BSF. Can go down as far as brown, depending on the proficiencies you already have.
Accursed Specter: Minion! Expendable, aerial, incorporeal minion! As long as you've killed a humanoid since your last long rest, you have a loyal scout that can go practically anywhere, as long as it's not trying to observe something in direct sunlight. Note that it does not remember anything it knew in life, other than languages, and that it doesn't necessarily share a language with you. Goes down potentially as far as red, depending on the campaign.
Armor of Hexes: When the target (only usable on someone you've designated as an enemy on your turn) of your Hexblade's Curse (only usable on one creature at a time, and only on one creature per rest until 14th level) hits you with an attack (must have involved an attack roll), you can use your reaction (only usable once per round, and it competes with things like shield and opportunity attacks) to have a 50% chance (it's not even reliable) to cause the attack to miss. For all its many flaws, this does work against crits, which I suppose redeems it a little.
Master of Hexes: Your Hexblade's Curse now lasts for the whole encounter, as long as there's always an enemy within 30 feet of you when the current target dies. Note that you only get healed when the target dies if you don't pick a new target. Goes down to purple if you're a God or orange if you really don't want to be that close to an enemy.
Eldritch Invocations
I think I'll start with the PHB invocations, then come back later for the rest.
Agonizing Blast: You. Don't. Have. Charisma.
Armor of Shadows: You have light armor, so this isn't all that great. It's blue if you somehow manage to get to 2nd level without getting studded leather, though.
Ascendant Step: The primary use of levitate is as a save-or-suck against a melee enemy. This does go up to purple or green if your campaign features a lot of cliffs, canyons, and the like, though.
Beast Speech: Make rangers and druids feel inadequate! Pity you don't have the Cha to properly take advantage of it, though.
Beguiling Influence: If you absolutely have to have social skills, this is a good way to get them. This is also part of how you become a skill monkey.
Bewitching Whispers: Once per long rest, you can use a warlock spell slot to cast a spell that isn't even any good.
Book of Ancient Secrets: You get ritual casting. And not just from your own spell list like everyone else--no, you get ritual casting from everyone's spell lists. This is pretty much mandatory if you're a Tomelock.
Chains of Carceri:Hold a celestial, fiend, or elemental at will. Ranges from orange to brown, depending on how many you face--it still requires them to fail a save.
Devil's Sight: This is still green even if you don't combo it with darkness. Just remember: you're now a Corpse, so take precautions to keep it from becoming literal.
Dreadful Word: Dreadful is one word for this.
Eldritch Sight: Odds are someone can cast detect magic as a ritual. Goes up to purple if that isn't the case.
Eldritch Spear: At least it actually has an effect on that cantrip you don't have.
Fiendish Vigor: This is purple at low levels, but goes downhill pretty fast, especially if you have armor of Agathys. It also goes down if you're not a BSF, especially if you're a Glass Cannon.
Gaze of Two Minds: This is mostly dead-Corpse insurance, but it's also useful if the Corpse isn't as likely to understand whatever he/she/they/it sees as you are.
Lifedrinker: +1 damage on a hit with your pact weapon is pretty underwhelming. If you have access to this, you're probably not a God, but if you are, it goes down to red.
Mask of Many Faces: This is good, yes, but not as good as it is for someone who can make a Deception check.
Master of Myriad Forms: Before you replace Mask of Many Faces with this, note the concentration requirement.
Minions of Chaos: In a shocking departure from convention, the spell this lets you cast once per long rest using a warlock spell slot is actually usable. Not that this is worth taking or anything.
Mire the Mind: I think the developers' minds were mired when they made these miserable wastes of page space.
Misty Visions: Mind the concentration requirement. This goes down to a low orange if you're a BSF or a Glass Cannon.
One with Shadows: Actually, this is most useful if you get to the bad guys' meeting before they do, which means that it needs some serious backup investigation. Also, it only works for that if the bad guys in question haven't read the Evil Overlord List.
Otherworldly Leap: Now that's what I call circumstantial.
Repelling Blast: See Eldritch Spear.
Sculptor of Flesh: So it's actually a good spell. So what? All right, I guess it goes up to orange for a God if you have a barbarian in your party.
Sign of Ill Omen: 'Tis an ill omen indeed if you take this.
Thief of Five Fates: The fates being stolen are yours.
Thirsting Blade: Extra Attack for Blade-Pact warlocks. I'm not entirely sure why a God would take the Pact of the Blade, but if that's you, this is purple.
Visions of Distant Realms: Now you can be the Corpse without it being literal! Goes down to a low purple if you expect to be concentrating on something--like, say, hex--between combats.
Voice of the Chain Master: Okay, so apparently warlocks make good Corpses.
Whispers of the Grave: The corpses can lie. Fortunately, you might have good Insight. Goes up to blue if you frequently find yourself in murder mysteries and the like.
Witch Sight: This can go up as far as blue, depending on how much your DM likes shapechangers and whatnot.
Pact Boon
There's one or two of these in an old UA. I'll be adding them later.
Pact of the Blade: Being unable to be disarmed outside of an area of antimagic is a neat trick, but the real draw is that you're automatically proficient with the weapon. Goes down to orange if you're already proficient with at least one weapon of each category (1d8 one-handed, 1d8 one-handed with finesse, 1d6 one-handed with light and finesse, 1d12/2d6 two-handed, 1d10 two-handed with reach) that you want access to. Note that you can only get melee weapons with this, and only one at a time.
Pact of the Chain:Find familiar as a ritual is blue even if you're a normal caster with the normal version of the spell. For you, with your low casting stat (not relevant, since you're not using a spell pick on this) and the expanded familiar options (an imp, for example, can fly around Helping the rogue while invisible), this is even better.
I'll go over your choices later.
Pact of the Tome: Three cantrips of your choice. I recommend guidance as one of them unless you expect to be concentrating on something--say, hex--between combats.
I'll go over your choices for this later, too.
Spells
I'd hoped to have at least the PHB and SCAG spells in the first version, but Windows 10 looks about to update, which will delete all of this unless I post it (or copy it into a word processor, but this is easier). I'll get started on this section tomorrow, so stay tuned (or come back in a week, when I'll probably have finished it).
Why require people to go read another post to figure out your color code?
Because I'm lazy and I think they should probably read it anyway (for one thing, it's funny). I was going to copy the code, but it's in Google Drive, out of which nothing can be copied.
It's not impossible. Highlight the desired text in the google doc. Hit Ctrl+C to copy. Go to the forum post. Hit Ctrl+V to paste. The text will be pasted to the forum without color formatting. Use the Text Color tool to finish up.
The Color Guide:
Blue:I love this option
Green:This is a good option overall
Purple:Middle of the Road - I could take or leave it
Orange:The option is poor or overly Circumstantial
Red: Red alert - This is a turkey
Brown: Crap is brown, this stuff is so rank, I couldn’t even rate it red
This guide was inspired by a throwaway comment in Treantmonk's wizard guide. Because yes, I'm that kind of crazy. I'm also lazy, so I'll use his roles and rating system. Go read his guide.
Now, this guide is specifically for warlocks that dumped Charisma, so I'm going to assume that you have 8 (-1) Charisma, or 13 (+1) if you want to multiclass.
Ability Scores
Str: Hexblades use this for longswords, glaives, and greatswords. Elves use this for longswords. You know dwarves and githyanki. Everyone else uses this for quarterstaves, spears, handaxes, and javelins. Goes up to a high green if you have heavy armor and you're not a dwarf.
Dex: AC, initiative, a major save, some useful skills . . . this is very important for most characters, but goes down to green if you have medium armor, or purple if you have heavy armor.
Con: On the one hand, this doesn't affect AC, initiative, or skills. On the other hand, it does affect hit points and concentration saves.
Int: Lots of skills, but only being a minor save hurts this.
Wis: Another major save, more useful skills. Probably the most important of each.
Cha: You're dumping this, remember?
Race
I'll start with the PHB races, I think, then come back later to add the rest of them.
Dragonborn: This is bad even if you can use both of the stat boosts, which you can't.
Dwarf, hill: Con, Wis, HP, weapons, and some other stuff. Goes up to green for a God Hexblade, which can use the stats and HP, gets medium armor, and doesn't need Str or Dex boosts.
Dwarf, mountain: Str, Con, medium armor, weapons, and the usual other stuff. Notably, doesn't get shields. Goes up to a low green for a non-Hexblade BSF, but there are better ways to do even that. Goes down to a low orange for a God Hexblade, which doesn't need Str and already has medium armor.
Elf, dark: You don't use Charisma. You have access to what's probably the best way of getting around Sunlight Sensitivity--but it renders Superior Darkvision obsolete. Dancing lights is okay, faerie fire is trash, and darkness is good, but not that good. At least the weapons are useful for a non-Hexblade. Gets a little better if you want to multiclass, especially if it's into a caster class.
Elf, high: Dex and Int are good. Shortswords and longbows are good. A wizard cantrip of your choice is good, especially since you can start with 16 Int if you want to. The Perception proficiency is what pushes it over the top.
Elf, wood: As high elf, but instead of Int, a language, and a wizard cantrip, you get Wis, 5 feet of movement, and Mask of the Wild.
Gnome, forest: Gnome Cunning is overrated, but still good. Minor illusion uses your spell save DC, but is still good enough for you to pick as a warlock cantrip, so getting it here is really good. Also, note that you get a Dex bonus and can still (if you're a Hexblade) wear medium armor and use a rapier.
Gnome, rock: Not as many goodies as the other subraces. Goes up to a low green if you're a God.
Half-elf: Even disregarding the Cha bonus, it's almost as good as a variant human. I am now sad.
Halfling, lightfoot: Nothing to see here. Move along.
Halfling, stout: Dex and Con make this a good choice for anyone, really. Goes up to a low blue for a Hexblade BSF. Pity about the speed, though.
Half-orc: Con and Relentless Endurance make it okay for anyone. Goes up to green for a Hexblade BSF.
Human, standard: I guess you can make this work. Goes up to a low green if you use point buy (put your one even stat in Cha) or rolled a lot of odd stats.
Human, variant: You know why this is this good.
Tiefling, Asmodeus: About the worst stats you could get and only a few other features. This would be red if not for thaumaturgy and darkness. It's still pretty close.
Class Features
Your most important class features get their own sections, as usual.
Hit points: A d8 Hit Die is bad for a BSF, but better than wizards and most sorcerers get.
Armor: Again, better than most wizards and sorcerers get, but still not all that good. You might still want mage armor.
Weapons: Yet again, better than most wizards and sorcerers get, but still nothing to write home about. You'll probably want to get a martial weapon or two somewhere if you're a BSF or a Glass Cannon.
Saving throws: Wis is the second most important save for most spellcasters, most important for anyone else. Cha saves are rare, but they tend to be pretty important.
Skills: You can be a skill monkey. This is not how.
Equipment: If you have extra weapon or armor proficiencies, you'll have to get the associated weapons or armor the hard way. Goes down to red in that case.
Otherworldly Patron: This is your subclass. It's important.
Pact Magic: This is most of your spellcasting. It's more important. Note that you don't get ritual casting.
Eldritch Invocations: Hey, look, another important thing that gives you stuff at multiple levels.
Pact Boon: Not as important as any of the last three, and it only shows up at one level, but it's still really good.
Ability Score Increases: If you're a BSF or a Glass Cannon, you really ought to max your attacking stat pretty quickly. Once that's done (or if you're a God), you can start taking feats.
Mystic Arcanum: This is the rest of your spellcasting. Note that you don't get to change these spells. Also note that, unlike normal full casters, you only ever get one of each level. And, of course, these don't use spell slots, so you can't upcast them. It's still a very high green, though.
Eldritch Master: Once per long rest, you can recover your spell slots in 1/60 the usual time. It's not great, but it's not nearly as bad as some people think. You can still skip it with impunity, though.
Subclass
I think I'll start with just the PHB Patrons, plus the Celestial and Hexblade, then come back later for the rest.
Archfey: You're just here for the spells and maybe Misty Escape. Goes up to a low green if you're a God.
Expanded Spell List: Best for a God, in which case it goes up to green.
Faerie fire: Concentration. Save for no effect. At least it's AoE.
Sleep: This is godly at low levels, and since you're a warlock, you can swap it out when it stops being useful.
Calm emotions: Use your concentration, your action, and a spell slot to suppress charmed and frightened in a 20' sphere? And a sufficiently charmed target can try a save to resist? No, thank you. At least it has an alternate mode that can prevent combat if all the potential enemies fail their saves . . .
Phantasmal force: Concentration. Single-target. Save for no effect.
Blink: Potent, if unreliable, defensive spell that lasts a minute with no concentration. You can take it if you want, I guess.
Plant growth: Put a soft lock on enemy movement in a 100' radius. Goes up to green if you're a God and the rest of your party can ignore it.
Dominate beast: Beasts tend not to have exceptional Wis saves, but just because it might work is no reason to think it's good.
Greater invisibility: A viable alternative to darkness + Devil's Sight, with the added advantages of not hampering your allies, being usable as a buff, and targeting an extra creature when cast at 5th level. 1/10 the duration, though.
Dominate person: It's more likely to have a worthwhile target than dominate beast, but less likely to work.
Seeming: Mass disguise self with an 8-hour duration. No concentration. If you can use it, it's really useful, but that's not all too likely.
Fey Presence: Nothing happens if they save. Being an AoE almost redeems this, but the extra-short duration sends it right back down to the bottom of the barrel.
Misty Escape: Once per rest, you can use your reaction to not die. I had it rated higher before I noticed that it triggers when you take damage, not when you're attacked. Goes up to green if your DM lets you get unseen-attacker advantage and you can use it.
Beguiling Defenses: The charm immunity is good, I guess.
Dark Delirium: This uses your concentration and probably won't even do anything. And it's limited-use.
Celestial: Good stuff at 1st and 14th. Not so much in between.
Expanded Spell List: You get one spell that's reasonably good and three that are decent. Unfortunately, the good one is 4th level and doesn't scale.
Cure wounds: No. No, no, no. You don't have Cha, you're not a Gimp, and this wouldn't be good even if you did and were.
Guiding bolt: You're also not a spell-based blaster.
Flaming sphere: Concentration for a weak hazard that takes your bonus action to move (interfering with Healing Light) and gives a save for half damage? No, thank you. Gets a little better at 6th level if you have enough Cha to multiclass. I suppose you can use it instead of hex, but why would you?
Lesser restoration: Useful if you can spare a spell pick.
Daylight: A driftglobe lets you cast this spell once per day as one of its properties. That should give you some idea of how good this is. At least it'll actually work if you cast it. . .
Revivify: Finally, something useful . . . if you have a spell slot available when your buddy dies. Which, since you're a warlock, you probably won't.
Guardian of faith: The 8-hour non-concentration duration means you can have several of these guys watching your back if you know where the enemy will be far enough in advance. Otherwise, it's a high-damage, no-friendly-fire hazard. Since it disappears after dealing a set amount of damage, the save for half doesn't hurt it as much.
Wall of fire: The damage gives a save for half. The wall itself is extra-porous. I'm sure it has uses, but there aren't very many.
Flame strike: This is basically a worse fireball.
Greater restoration: Like lesser restoration, but more so. When you need this, you really need it.
Bonus Cantrips: Light is okay. Sacred flame isn't.
Healing Light: Not only does this not use your Charisma for anything important, it's actually good, with each die being roughly equivalent to a healing word that doesn't restrict your action. Goes from a high green to a low blue if you don't have anything else to do with your bonus action.
Radiant Soul: You have resistance to radiant damage. Yay. Might be higher if you're likely to ever be exposed to a source of radiant damage.
Celestial Resistance: You get a bit of temporary HP after each rest. Up to five of your friends each get a smaller bit of temporary HP after each rest. Goes up to a low green if no one in the party has a better source of temporary HP, which almost any source is.
Searing Vengeance: Once per day, you get to come back from the dying with half your health, deal a bit of damage to all nearby enemies with no save, and blind all nearby enemies for the rest of your turn with no save? Nice. Only uses your Cha a little, too. It would go up a rank for a BSF, but it's already blue.
Fiend: I hope you like the warlock spell list, because that's about all you'll be using. Goes up to green for a Glass Cannon or BSF, especially a melee one, and can go up to blue if the stars align.
Expanded Spell List: Drool, drool. Goes up to orange for a melee character.
Burning hands: This is a low-damage, low-area AoE that gives a save for half and requires you to be in or near melee.
Command: Nothing happens on a save.
Blindness/deafness: Good if it works. Gives a save for no effect, so it won't.
Scorching ray: Requires you to hit with spell attacks.
Fireball: You're not a spell-based blaster, but this is one of the best blast spells around.
Stinking cloud: At least a target that saves isn't immune. . .
Fire shield: Goes all the way up to green for a melee Glass Cannon, or blue for a melee BSF.
Wall of fire: Been there, done that, wish I hadn't.
Flame strike: Why? Why do you get this? Never mind that, why does this even exist?
Hallow: Expensive, situational, and it takes 24 hours to cast. And you're limited in your choice of extra effect, because the ones that affect your enemies directly offer saving throws.
Dark One's Blessing: Get a bit of temporary HP when you down an enemy. Useful for when you lose armor of Agathys. Only goes down to orange for a God, since you'll probably be shooting people with your light crossbow when you run out of spells.
Dark One's Own Luck: +1d10 is pretty unreliable, and the timing issue just compounds the problem. Goes up to blue if your DM tells you the DC.
Fiendish Resilience: Resistance to one damage type of your choice, changable on a rest, except from silvered or magical weapons. Ranges from orange to blue, depending on the DM. Best against elemental dungeons, hordes of spearmen and archers, etc. Worst against werewolf-hunters, wielders of legendary magical weapons, etc.
Hurl Through Hell: 10d10 psychic damage and the target's AWOL for a round, with no save, when you hit with an attack. Goes down to green for a God, but you probably still have your light crossbow.
Great Old One: Okay. There are campaigns in which this is green, it's probably possible to make one in which this is blue, and I would very much enjoy playing in or running a campaign in which this is green or blue. There are also campaigns in which this is orange.
Expanded Spell List: This is almost as bad as the Fiend's list. Goes up to purple, or maybe green, in just the right campaign.
Dissonant whispers: Good if they fail the save. For you, not so much.
Tasha's hideous laughter: Ha! No.
Detect thoughts: Good for scouting, if you can spare the resources. Goes up to a high purple, maybe even green, in an intrigue campaign.
Phantasmal force: We've been over this.
Clairvoyance: Well, then. At least it has good range and targeting.
Sending: This usually won't be any good, but usually is not always.
Dominate beast: Hey, another Archfey reject.
Evard's black tentacles: This has the niche use of creating a 20-foot sphere that very few NPCs will willingly enter, not that they'd be in any significant danger if they did.
Dominate person: Figures you wouldn't just get dominate beast.
Telekinesis: This is usually going to be a waste of your concentration and your actions, but it goes up to green, or maybe even blue, if you regularly fight around hazards that weigh less than 1,000 pounds and that won't rely on your spell save DC.
Awakened Mind: Due to the precise wording, the creature you telepathically speak to does not get to telepathically speak back. Goes up to a low blue if your DM rules otherwise.
Entropic Ward: It's like a budget shield. Goes up to green if you can use the advantage.
Thought Shield: This is green or blue when it comes up, which is almost never.
Create Thrall: If an enemy is incapacitated, you can probably just kill them. The more powerful an NPC is--and thus the more useful this is to use on them--the less likely this is to actually work. The best thing I can come up with would be to talk a powerful, friendly NPC into letting you use this on them for the long-distance telepathy.
Hexblade: Talk about front-loaded--you get your best spell, your best feature, and another good feature at 1st level! Goes down to a high green for a God. Also goes down a step if you have all the weapon and armor proficiencies you need from somewhere else.
Expanded Spell List: You get some good defensive spells, but that's pretty much it. On the other hand, one of those spells is shield.
Shield: This isn't as good for you as it is for a normal caster, but it's still shield.
Wrathful smite: This isn't good for you, period.
Blur: Uses your concentration, which interferes with hex. Still pretty good, though. Goes down to a low orange for a Glass Cannon.
Branding smite: Still pretty circumstantial, but it's clearly better for you than wrathful smite.
Blink: This is not appreciably better or worse for you than for an Archfey warlock.
Elemental weapon: You have hex. This is only worth using if you're a God, in which case it goes up to purple, or if you're fighting something that's weaker to one of these damage types than to necrotic.
Phantasmal killer: So many saving throws to keep it from doing anything!
Staggering smite: Actually, the save makes this worse for you than branding smite.
Banishing smite: Not only does it do more damage than any other smite spell you get, it has a potent--if limited--secondary effect with no save.
Cone of cold: Yeah, no.
Hexblade's Curse: Once per rest, get a hex-like effect that only works on one target, doesn't use concentration, scales its damage with character level, and gives you a bit of healing when the target dies? Sounds good to me. Goes down to a high purple for a God.
Hex Warrior: Ah, here we are: the reason you're a Hexblade. Medium armor. Shields. Martial weapons. Almost as good for a God as for a BSF. Can go down as far as brown, depending on the proficiencies you already have.
Accursed Specter: Minion! Expendable, aerial, incorporeal minion! As long as you've killed a humanoid since your last long rest, you have a loyal scout that can go practically anywhere, as long as it's not trying to observe something in direct sunlight. Note that it does not remember anything it knew in life, other than languages, and that it doesn't necessarily share a language with you. Goes down potentially as far as red, depending on the campaign.
Armor of Hexes: When the target (only usable on someone you've designated as an enemy on your turn) of your Hexblade's Curse (only usable on one creature at a time, and only on one creature per rest until 14th level) hits you with an attack (must have involved an attack roll), you can use your reaction (only usable once per round, and it competes with things like shield and opportunity attacks) to have a 50% chance (it's not even reliable) to cause the attack to miss. For all its many flaws, this does work against crits, which I suppose redeems it a little.
Master of Hexes: Your Hexblade's Curse now lasts for the whole encounter, as long as there's always an enemy within 30 feet of you when the current target dies. Note that you only get healed when the target dies if you don't pick a new target. Goes down to purple if you're a God or orange if you really don't want to be that close to an enemy.
Eldritch Invocations
I think I'll start with the PHB invocations, then come back later for the rest.
Agonizing Blast: You. Don't. Have. Charisma.
Armor of Shadows: You have light armor, so this isn't all that great. It's blue if you somehow manage to get to 2nd level without getting studded leather, though.
Ascendant Step: The primary use of levitate is as a save-or-suck against a melee enemy. This does go up to purple or green if your campaign features a lot of cliffs, canyons, and the like, though.
Beast Speech: Make rangers and druids feel inadequate! Pity you don't have the Cha to properly take advantage of it, though.
Beguiling Influence: If you absolutely have to have social skills, this is a good way to get them. This is also part of how you become a skill monkey.
Bewitching Whispers: Once per long rest, you can use a warlock spell slot to cast a spell that isn't even any good.
Book of Ancient Secrets: You get ritual casting. And not just from your own spell list like everyone else--no, you get ritual casting from everyone's spell lists. This is pretty much mandatory if you're a Tomelock.
Chains of Carceri: Hold a celestial, fiend, or elemental at will. Ranges from orange to brown, depending on how many you face--it still requires them to fail a save.
Devil's Sight: This is still green even if you don't combo it with darkness. Just remember: you're now a Corpse, so take precautions to keep it from becoming literal.
Dreadful Word: Dreadful is one word for this.
Eldritch Sight: Odds are someone can cast detect magic as a ritual. Goes up to purple if that isn't the case.
Eldritch Spear: At least it actually has an effect on that cantrip you don't have.
Eyes of the Rune Keeper: Comprehend languages is a bit less common than detect magic. This goes up to purple if no one has it.
Fiendish Vigor: This is purple at low levels, but goes downhill pretty fast, especially if you have armor of Agathys. It also goes down if you're not a BSF, especially if you're a Glass Cannon.
Gaze of Two Minds: This is mostly dead-Corpse insurance, but it's also useful if the Corpse isn't as likely to understand whatever he/she/they/it sees as you are.
Lifedrinker: +1 damage on a hit with your pact weapon is pretty underwhelming. If you have access to this, you're probably not a God, but if you are, it goes down to red.
Mask of Many Faces: This is good, yes, but not as good as it is for someone who can make a Deception check.
Master of Myriad Forms: Before you replace Mask of Many Faces with this, note the concentration requirement.
Minions of Chaos: In a shocking departure from convention, the spell this lets you cast once per long rest using a warlock spell slot is actually usable. Not that this is worth taking or anything.
Mire the Mind: I think the developers' minds were mired when they made these miserable wastes of page space.
Misty Visions: Mind the concentration requirement. This goes down to a low orange if you're a BSF or a Glass Cannon.
One with Shadows: Actually, this is most useful if you get to the bad guys' meeting before they do, which means that it needs some serious backup investigation. Also, it only works for that if the bad guys in question haven't read the Evil Overlord List.
Otherworldly Leap: Now that's what I call circumstantial.
Repelling Blast: See Eldritch Spear.
Sculptor of Flesh: So it's actually a good spell. So what? All right, I guess it goes up to orange for a God if you have a barbarian in your party.
Sign of Ill Omen: 'Tis an ill omen indeed if you take this.
Thief of Five Fates: The fates being stolen are yours.
Thirsting Blade: Extra Attack for Blade-Pact warlocks. I'm not entirely sure why a God would take the Pact of the Blade, but if that's you, this is purple.
Visions of Distant Realms: Now you can be the Corpse without it being literal! Goes down to a low purple if you expect to be concentrating on something--like, say, hex--between combats.
Voice of the Chain Master: Okay, so apparently warlocks make good Corpses.
Whispers of the Grave: The corpses can lie. Fortunately, you might have good Insight. Goes up to blue if you frequently find yourself in murder mysteries and the like.
Witch Sight: This can go up as far as blue, depending on how much your DM likes shapechangers and whatnot.
Pact Boon
There's one or two of these in an old UA. I'll be adding them later.
Pact of the Blade: Being unable to be disarmed outside of an area of antimagic is a neat trick, but the real draw is that you're automatically proficient with the weapon. Goes down to orange if you're already proficient with at least one weapon of each category (1d8 one-handed, 1d8 one-handed with finesse, 1d6 one-handed with light and finesse, 1d12/2d6 two-handed, 1d10 two-handed with reach) that you want access to. Note that you can only get melee weapons with this, and only one at a time.
Pact of the Chain: Find familiar as a ritual is blue even if you're a normal caster with the normal version of the spell. For you, with your low casting stat (not relevant, since you're not using a spell pick on this) and the expanded familiar options (an imp, for example, can fly around Helping the rogue while invisible), this is even better.
I'll go over your choices later.
Pact of the Tome: Three cantrips of your choice. I recommend guidance as one of them unless you expect to be concentrating on something--say, hex--between combats.
I'll go over your choices for this later, too.
Spells
I'd hoped to have at least the PHB and SCAG spells in the first version, but Windows 10 looks about to update, which will delete all of this unless I post it (or copy it into a word processor, but this is easier). I'll get started on this section tomorrow, so stay tuned (or come back in a week, when I'll probably have finished it).
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
Why require people to go read another post to figure out your color code?
Because I'm lazy and I think they should probably read it anyway (for one thing, it's funny). I was going to copy the code, but it's in Google Drive, out of which nothing can be copied.
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
It's not impossible. Highlight the desired text in the google doc. Hit Ctrl+C to copy. Go to the forum post. Hit Ctrl+V to paste. The text will be pasted to the forum without color formatting. Use the Text Color tool to finish up.
The Color Guide:
Blue: I love this option
Green: This is a good option overall
Purple: Middle of the Road - I could take or leave it
Orange: The option is poor or overly Circumstantial
Red: Red alert - This is a turkey
Brown: Crap is brown, this stuff is so rank, I couldn’t even rate it red
DICE FALL, EVERYONE ROCKS!
Blue, Green, Purple, Orange, Red, Brown
Girl