This magical tome appears to contain several spell scrolls. Each scroll can be used once per day, and regenerates daily at dawn. In reality, the spells are inscribed wrong, and their effects vary wildly from the intended. When one of these scrolls are used the DM reveals the spell's true effect.

Message / Massage. The target receives a pleasant back rub.

Mage Armor / Mage Armoire. Summons a fancy wardrobe adjacent to the caster, containing three sets of clothes. Roll a 1d20 three times. On a result of 1, the clothes are common quality. On a result of 2-10, the clothes are traveler's quality. On a result of 11-15, the clothes are costume quality, on a result of 16-19, the clothes are fine quality. On a result of 20, the clothes are a magic set of robes, clothes or armor determined by the DM. Once a 20 is rolled, this page of the Book of Misspells crumbles to dust.

Hold Person / Fold Person. The target must succeed a Wisdom saving throw or be bent over backwards. On a failed save, the target takes 4d6 damage and is paralyzed for one round.

Speak With Dead / Speak With Dad. For one minute you can communicate telepathically with your father, regardless of whether they are dead or alive. 

Ice Storm / Ick Storm. Gross sludge rains down for one minute creating difficult terrain in a 20 foot radius.

Teleport / Telepoot. Creates a loud fart at the intended location.

Wish / Wash. A wet sponge cleans you vigorously for one minute.

Fireball / Friarball. Conjures and launches a clergyman at the target, dealing 8d6 bludgeoning damage on a failed Dexterity saving throw. The conjured friar is holding its knees and tumbles end over end while screaming religious platitudes during its flight, and lies still after hitting the target. It is a nonliving magical construct, and upon closer inspection, it appears to be made of painted wood and dyed cloth.

Magic Missile/ Magic Rissole. Instead of missiles of force, shoots three delicious baked circular balls of minced meat or fish, enclosed in pastry or rolled in breadcrumbs. 

Tenser's Floating Disc / Tenser's Floating Misc. All items in the target's packs and pockets fly out and are suspended around them in a 100 foot sphere. 

Disguise Self / Disguise Elf. Choose an Elf within 30 feet of you. Their ears become rounded for an hour. They are unaware of this effect.

Abi Dalzim's Horrid Wilting / Abi Dalzim's Horrid Writing. Target must succeed an Intelligence saving throw or they become illiterate.

Fog Cloud / Frog Cloud. A large cloud appears overhead and begins raining frogs. In a 30-foot-radius, 100-foot-high cylinder, falling frogs grant concealment and the noise they make deafens creatures in the area.

Beacon of Hope / Bacon of Hope. While the aura is active, a piece of cured ham appears in the mouth of each creature in the aura. A creature can chew the bacon once on their turn as a free action, gaining 2 HP.

Calm Emotions / Clam Emotions. Targets within range of the spell become neutral to each other they were hostile, but they don't wanna talk about it.

Chromatic Orb / Chromatic Bro. A gym bro in a colourful leopard print lycra appears within 10-ft of you and gasses you up. You gain inspiration.

Command / Commend. You give a one word of encouragement to a target creature and they feel really good about it. They spend their next action paying you a compliment in kind.

Polymorph / Polymath. The spell transforms a creature you can see within range into a better, more interesting version of themselves. For the duration, any weapons or natural weapons they possess transform into tools that would be useful in hobby crafts, such as a model boat building kit, or a set of painters supplies. They must use their action and bonus action to chat about their IPA home brewery and the crochet patterns they picked up from fantasy Etsy, and the recipe they've been working on for warm chicken salad (its the oranges - they really add something to the flavour profile).

Counterspell / Countersmell. As a reaction to a creature casting a spell, you teleport to a square adjacent to the creature and sniff their hair. The creature casting the spell is super weirded out by how chummy you're being all of a sudden, and their spell goes wide. The GM randomly chooses another target for their spell to affect.

Remove Curse / Remove Purse. Any gold and jewels carried by the target creature are dropped on the ground in its space.

Continual Flame / Continual Frame. Target building or structure within range becomes immune to all damage permanently. This page of the Book of Misspells tears itself out and becomes embedded into the building's foundation.

Power Word: Heal / Power Word: Heel. The target creature is polymorphed into a dog for 1 minute and it is compelled to remain by your side. If they are a good dog for the duration, when the spell ends they recover all of their hit points.