Bards from the College of Comedy know that the best way to disarm foes is with a well-timed joke — sometimes literal disarmament. They turn pratfalls into performance art and wit into a weapon, weaving humor into magic until no one can tell if they’re laughing from the joke or the psychic damage.

Level 3: Bonus Proficiencies

You gain proficiency with Sleight of Hand and Performance if you don’t already have them.
You also gain proficiency with improvised weapons. When you attack with an improvised weapon, it counts as magical for the purpose of overcoming resistance and immunity to nonmagical attacks.

Level 3: Punchline Performance

When you use your Bardic Inspiration, you can choose to deliver it in the form of a joke, gag, or comedic insult.

• If used on an ally: They can immediately roll the die and add it to the result of their next attack roll, saving throw, or ability check. If they roll the maximum number on the die, they also gain temporary hit points equal to your Charisma modifier (minimum 1).

• If used on an enemy (as an insult): The target must make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC. On a failed save, it has disadvantage on its next attack roll before the end of its next turn and takes psychic damage equal to your Charisma modifier.

Level 6: Slapstick Savant

You can weaponize physical comedy:

• Once per turn when you hit a creature with an improvised weapon or unarmed strike, you can force it to make a Dexterity saving throw against your spell save DC. On a failure, it falls prone and takes additional bludgeoning damage equal to your Bardic Inspiration die.

• You also learn the Tasha’s Hideous Laughter spell if you don’t already know it, and it doesn’t count against your number of spells known.

Level 14: Heckler's Retort

When a creature you can see within 30 feet hits you with an attack or forces you to make a saving throw, you can use your reaction to unleash a vicious quip. The attacker must make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC.

On a failed save, the attack roll is rerolled with disadvantage, or the saving throw effect automatically ends for you (your choice). The creature also takes psychic damage equal to two rolls of your Bardic Inspiration die.

You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier (minimum 1) per long rest.