I'm playing a gruff and belligerent Tempest Cleric whose guidance is always less than inspirational. Things like "Don't @#$& this up." Or "No pressure but if you fail at this you'll kill us all...". I was hoping some other people had some good lines I can throw out in my next game .any help is greatly appreciated.
My first character in 5th Edition was a cleric who I based on Tom Sizemore's character of Sergeant Horvath in "Saving Private Ryan". When he would heal someone up from zero HP it was usually something like, "Get up, dummy!" or "Naps over, back to work." This was five years back but there was some artifact we were looking for and the one guy who knew where it was hidden wouldn't talk, so I asked the party's barbarian, Rolo, to beat the guy to death. Someone else reminded me that he can't talk if he's dead, which led to, "You'll talk after I bring you back. And if you don't, he'll beat you to death again, and I'll bring you back again. How many times do you want to die today?" Of course, "Fubar!" got thrown around a lot. And if the bad guy starts monologuing, "You don't know when to shut up! You don't know HOW to shut up!" If another party member asked for my input, it was, "You don't wanna know what I think."
Tom Sizemore was such a great actor.
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Tayn of Darkwood. Lvl 10 human Life Cleric of Lathander. Retired.
Ikram Sahir ibn Malik al-Sayyid Ra'ad, Second Son of the House of Ra'ad, Defender of the Burning Sands. Lvl 9 Brass Dragonborn Sorcerer + Greater Fire Elemental Devil.
Viktor Gavriil. Lvl 20 White Dragonborn Grave Cleric, of Kurgan the God of Death.
My first character in 5th Edition was a cleric who I based on Tom Sizemore's character of Sergeant Horvath in "Saving Private Ryan". When he would heal someone up from zero HP it was usually something like, "Get up, dummy!" or "Naps over, back to work." This was five years back but there was some artifact we were looking for and the one guy who knew where it was hidden wouldn't talk, so I asked the party's barbarian, Rolo, to beat the guy to death. Someone else reminded me that he can't talk if he's dead, which led to, "You'll talk after I bring you back. And if you don't, he'll beat you to death again, and I'll bring you back again. How many times do you want to die today?" Of course, "Fubar!" got thrown around a lot. And if the bad guy starts monologuing, "You don't know when to shut up! You don't know HOW to shut up!" If another party member asked for my input, it was, "You don't wanna know what I think."
Tom Sizemore was such a great actor.
Gotta love those evil clerics.
And yeah, "Don't **** up" is a classic. "Do it for [deity]" when the character worships another deity is also fun. "If there ever is a time to make your parents proud, this would be it" can also work. :)
My first character in 5th Edition was a cleric who I based on Tom Sizemore's character of Sergeant Horvath in "Saving Private Ryan". When he would heal someone up from zero HP it was usually something like, "Get up, dummy!" or "Naps over, back to work." This was five years back but there was some artifact we were looking for and the one guy who knew where it was hidden wouldn't talk, so I asked the party's barbarian, Rolo, to beat the guy to death. Someone else reminded me that he can't talk if he's dead, which led to, "You'll talk after I bring you back. And if you don't, he'll beat you to death again, and I'll bring you back again. How many times do you want to die today?" Of course, "Fubar!" got thrown around a lot. And if the bad guy starts monologuing, "You don't know when to shut up! You don't know HOW to shut up!" If another party member asked for my input, it was, "You don't wanna know what I think."
My first character in 5th Edition was a cleric who I based on Tom Sizemore's character of Sergeant Horvath in "Saving Private Ryan". When he would heal someone up from zero HP it was usually something like, "Get up, dummy!" or "Naps over, back to work." This was five years back but there was some artifact we were looking for and the one guy who knew where it was hidden wouldn't talk, so I asked the party's barbarian, Rolo, to beat the guy to death. Someone else reminded me that he can't talk if he's dead, which led to, "You'll talk after I bring you back. And if you don't, he'll beat you to death again, and I'll bring you back again. How many times do you want to die today?" Of course, "Fubar!" got thrown around a lot. And if the bad guy starts monologuing, "You don't know when to shut up! You don't know HOW to shut up!" If another party member asked for my input, it was, "You don't wanna know what I think."
Tom Sizemore was such a great actor.
Gotta love those evil clerics.
And yeah, "Don't **** up" is a classic. "Do it for [deity]" when the character worships another deity is also fun. "If there ever is a time to make your parents proud, this would be it" can also work. :)
My current character (a rogue with magic initiate cleric spells) used guidance for the first time with this little speech:
"Back home we have a saying: all the dolphins come in on the tide. Its a way of saying not to worry so much, since no matter how bad things get, everyone with a net and a club can end the day with a belly full of dolphin meat. So relax, and focus on a relaxing image, like those delicious dolphins."
Oh, my cleric wasn't evil. He was actually Lawful Good. Well, maybe more like Lawful Neutral-ish. He simply personified the old saying, "Lawful Good does not mean Lawful Nice". His heart was in the right place, and he would and did risk his life many times to do what was right. He was just a bit of a grump about it. He had a rough background, and while he had reformed himself, old habits were hard to break.
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Tayn of Darkwood. Lvl 10 human Life Cleric of Lathander. Retired.
Ikram Sahir ibn Malik al-Sayyid Ra'ad, Second Son of the House of Ra'ad, Defender of the Burning Sands. Lvl 9 Brass Dragonborn Sorcerer + Greater Fire Elemental Devil.
Viktor Gavriil. Lvl 20 White Dragonborn Grave Cleric, of Kurgan the God of Death.
Oh, my cleric wasn't evil. He was actually Lawful Good. Well, maybe more like Lawful Neutral-ish. He simply personified the old saying, "Lawful Good does not mean Lawful Nice". His heart was in the right place, and he would and did risk his life many times to do what was right. He was just a bit of a grump about it. He had a rough background, and while he had reformed himself, old habits were hard to break.
Tayn of Darkwood. Lvl 10 human Life Cleric of Lathander. Retired.
Ikram Sahir ibn Malik al-Sayyid Ra'ad, Second Son of the House of Ra'ad, Defender of the Burning Sands. Lvl 9 Brass Dragonborn Sorcerer + Greater Fire Elemental Devil.
Viktor Gavriil. Lvl 20 White Dragonborn Grave Cleric, of Kurgan the God of Death.
I'm playing a gruff and belligerent Tempest Cleric whose guidance is always less than inspirational. Things like "Don't @#$& this up." Or "No pressure but if you fail at this you'll kill us all...". I was hoping some other people had some good lines I can throw out in my next game .any help is greatly appreciated.
My first character in 5th Edition was a cleric who I based on Tom Sizemore's character of Sergeant Horvath in "Saving Private Ryan". When he would heal someone up from zero HP it was usually something like, "Get up, dummy!" or "Naps over, back to work." This was five years back but there was some artifact we were looking for and the one guy who knew where it was hidden wouldn't talk, so I asked the party's barbarian, Rolo, to beat the guy to death. Someone else reminded me that he can't talk if he's dead, which led to, "You'll talk after I bring you back. And if you don't, he'll beat you to death again, and I'll bring you back again. How many times do you want to die today?" Of course, "Fubar!" got thrown around a lot. And if the bad guy starts monologuing, "You don't know when to shut up! You don't know HOW to shut up!" If another party member asked for my input, it was, "You don't wanna know what I think."
Tom Sizemore was such a great actor.
Tayn of Darkwood. Lvl 10 human Life Cleric of Lathander. Retired.
Ikram Sahir ibn Malik al-Sayyid Ra'ad, Second Son of the House of Ra'ad, Defender of the Burning Sands. Lvl 9 Brass Dragonborn Sorcerer + Greater Fire Elemental Devil.
Viktor Gavriil. Lvl 20 White Dragonborn Grave Cleric, of Kurgan the God of Death.
Anzio Faro. Lvl 5 Prot. Aasimar Light Cleric.
Gotta love those evil clerics.
And yeah, "Don't **** up" is a classic. "Do it for [deity]" when the character worships another deity is also fun. "If there ever is a time to make your parents proud, this would be it" can also work. :)
Thank you both for the help!
My current character (a rogue with magic initiate cleric spells) used guidance for the first time with this little speech:
"Back home we have a saying: all the dolphins come in on the tide. Its a way of saying not to worry so much, since no matter how bad things get, everyone with a net and a club can end the day with a belly full of dolphin meat. So relax, and focus on a relaxing image, like those delicious dolphins."
Oh, my cleric wasn't evil. He was actually Lawful Good. Well, maybe more like Lawful Neutral-ish. He simply personified the old saying, "Lawful Good does not mean Lawful Nice". His heart was in the right place, and he would and did risk his life many times to do what was right. He was just a bit of a grump about it. He had a rough background, and while he had reformed himself, old habits were hard to break.
Tayn of Darkwood. Lvl 10 human Life Cleric of Lathander. Retired.
Ikram Sahir ibn Malik al-Sayyid Ra'ad, Second Son of the House of Ra'ad, Defender of the Burning Sands. Lvl 9 Brass Dragonborn Sorcerer + Greater Fire Elemental Devil.
Viktor Gavriil. Lvl 20 White Dragonborn Grave Cleric, of Kurgan the God of Death.
Anzio Faro. Lvl 5 Prot. Aasimar Light Cleric.
Murder and torture isn't neither lawful nor good.
Potato potahdo.
Tayn of Darkwood. Lvl 10 human Life Cleric of Lathander. Retired.
Ikram Sahir ibn Malik al-Sayyid Ra'ad, Second Son of the House of Ra'ad, Defender of the Burning Sands. Lvl 9 Brass Dragonborn Sorcerer + Greater Fire Elemental Devil.
Viktor Gavriil. Lvl 20 White Dragonborn Grave Cleric, of Kurgan the God of Death.
Anzio Faro. Lvl 5 Prot. Aasimar Light Cleric.
That kind of proves my point, so thanks. ;)