I'm curious who voted that playing was harder. I'd like to know why they feel this way. Maybe they have tips on how to make being a great GM easy.

Trolls sometimes work in threes.....

Quote from Lathlaer >>

Also in my case (DM), it's hard to actually separate prepping as a conscious activity from just thinking and imagining.

I write anywhere between 3-5 pages of notes between each session and that doesn't take me so much time but there are times where I have troubles getting asleep because my brain is in overload mode thinking about D&D.

I've lost quite a few hours racking my brain between sessions about how to extricate the party from the latest hole we dug for ourselves as a player as well, and I've had similar comments from my players when I ended a session on a particularly tense cliffhanger. Not saying it's all even, just that that's not a DM exclusive. 

DMing is so much harder. Keeping track of story beats, monster stats, player stats, NPC voices/lines, unexpected improv, AND the clock so you can get everything in...it's like playing mental Whack-a-Mole. And that's before we get to the prep, story, and balancing challenges.

GMing is usually significantly easier for me. The biggest difference between GMing and playing is how much information I have.

Playing a PC involves so much guesswork. Planning and decision-making is very stressful, and not knowing how much I know and how much I don’t makes it that much worse.

When I GM, I know everything. The stress just falls away, and it’s a lot easier to stay in control.

Agreed. Even if you zero out everything else -- no prep, use random charts to generate nearly everything, use stats from the book without modification, use a pre-written scenario, theater of the mind so there are no maps, zoom so you don't have to physically "host" the session, etc... During the session, the player still only has to think, in terms of RP, "what will this character do?" A character with whom they are intimately familiar and after the first session, have played for many hours to hone a personality. The DM has to think "what will all these different NPCs do," sometimes simultaneously. Watch any good RPG stream, and you'll see times when the DM has to have conversations with himself or herself, as multiple NPCs potentially argue with each other over something the players are asking them to do. Mercer (Crit Role) does it. Coleville (Chain) does it. Callarman (Wildcards ETU) does it. GMs have to switch personalities, speech patterns, etc., sometimes minute by minute or even in a space of seconds, and keep it believable, all while they are thinking about what happens next and trying to adjudicate skill checks and come up with DCs on the fly for things that they never expected players to ask to do. 

There is simply no comparison between what a player is doing in a session, and what a GM is doing -- even IF there weren't any prep before hand.

Quote from Lyxen >>

While I agree that some players take the game seriously, taking notes, making plots, preparing for the game, etc. they usually do this for their own enjoyment (I know I do this because I enjoy doing it). So even if a player does a modicum of work, first he is never obliged to, and second he can do only what he likes.

 Not to mention, the DM *is* obliged to take detailed notes, and then explain them to the morons who forgot everything that happened last session. :)

the DM *is* obliged to take detailed notes, and then explain them to the morons who forgot everything that happened last session

LOL -- truth.

I'm trying to set myself up as a DM for my homebrew discord and now I'm just gathering mindless victims friends and colleagues. Give it a a wee test and see how the folks do for a couple of months. Most importantly see how I fare and see if I can keep up with it.

The only challenge as a player is to determine whether that NPC the DM named has two R's in their name... or were they W's? Wait. Why are we rolling initiative? What just happened? Why did the rogue get arrested?

My main peeve of being a player is that I'm an awfully slow, messy writer so I'm jotting down notes and come back to them a session later I'm wondering what the hell I put down. Or you can get so embroiled with writing what the DM says that you forget to even pay attention to WHAT he is saying.

Quote from NaivaraArnuanna >>

Quote from Lyxen >>

While I agree that some players take the game seriously, taking notes, making plots, preparing for the game, etc. they usually do this for their own enjoyment (I know I do this because I enjoy doing it). So even if a player does a modicum of work, first he is never obliged to, and second he can do only what he likes.

 Not to mention, the DM *is* obliged to take detailed notes, and then explain them to the morons who forgot everything that happened last session. :)

I wouldn't call them morons. I'm the DM at my table, and I often forget information I gave out in a previous session or what exactly happened, mostly due to my having ADHD (a few of my players have it as well). I sometimes forget it even when I have it written down, due to the fact that my campaign notes are pretty unorganized (again, ADHD). 

But, yeah. On the topic of the thread, I've found it much harder to be a DM than a player. Both are fun, but DMing is often more rewarding, but it takes much more work. The only time that I've been a player and felt like I was doing as much as the DM was in a one-on-one campaign, with it being the DMs first time ever running a game. I helped show them the ropes while being a player, which took a lot more energy than just being a player. 

As a DM, I'm actually quite happy to help my players remember stuff and I even built a pretty extensive World Anvil site to contain not only world lore, but notes and entries about what they have done. It's got a calendar, timeline of events, entries for every monster they have encountered (with text describing what they know based on their encounters with it, rather than what it says in MM or Volo's or what have you), some of the NPCs (though I can't possibly do a write-up for every single one), maps of places they have been, and the like. Handouts also go there. Several times they have asked about something and I have pointed out, that's on World Anvil and if necessary give the link, so they can look at it.

Once in a great while I may even remind them, "You know, you guys have a bunch of potions you've never used," because they tend to hoard them, or "Does anyone still have inspiration and want to use it?" that kind of thing. Though I mostly consider that sort of stuff to be up to them.

Recently they talked about several possible ways to assault an enemy stronghold. One of them mentioned a great idea that I was fully ready for them to try (I had built what I needed if they did it), but they quickly moved off of it and then the session ended. When we came back -- I did not remind them of that. In my view, their plans are up to THEM to remember. I'm not going to remind them of their plan, lest they think the DM is "telling them to do that one." (In this case, that one would have been much better than what they actually did, but again, it's their plan -- it is on them.)

I'm not sure how you could make the argument that being a DM is easier. Some people might enjoy it more, and some people might be stressed out by it less, but its almost certainly requires more work, more game knowledge, and more responsibility, even if you are simply running a module.

I just thought I comment on this: I really dislike the term "player" when used to denote one of the players playing a character. it makes it seem like the DM is not playing the game, when they really are playing. but I guess it's the best term to use, because both PC and character denote the player's character, not the player themselves. maybe we could use a term non-dungeon master player? or character player?

While I get where you're coming from, player is just easier to say and trying to make a more complicated label isn't likely to catch on. 

yeah... your probably right. it just bugs me when people use player... but nothing can be done.

Quote from Lyxen >>

Quote from HomebrewMindFlayer >>

I just thought I comment on this: I really dislike the term "player" when used to denote one of the players playing a character. it makes it seem like the DM is not playing the game, when they really are playing. but I guess it's the best term to use, because both PC and character denote the player's character, not the player themselves. maybe we could use a term non-dungeon master player? or character player?

 

It's the official term, you know, "Player's Handbook"...

 While I also use the term "player" MindFlayer is right—DMs are players too and I feel like people forget that a lot. (And the DMG doesn't tell you the basic rules anyway!)

I enjoy DM'ing, not quite as much as playing but still heartily enjoy it, but 2/3rds of my group recently decided they hate my DM'ing style, so imma be a player for quite awhile, but still, if your players acknowledge the blood, sweat, and tears a DM puts into his or her game, then they'll respect that there is a quest laid out that they should do, or a NPC they should talk to, and everybody will have fun.  

Quote from Lyxen >>

Quote from HomebrewMindFlayer >>

I just thought I comment on this: I really dislike the term "player" when used to denote one of the players playing a character. it makes it seem like the DM is not playing the game, when they really are playing. but I guess it's the best term to use, because both PC and character denote the player's character, not the player themselves. maybe we could use a term non-dungeon master player? or character player?

 

It's the official term, you know, "Player's Handbook"...

The combat and spell rules are used by DMs.

Quote from HomebrewMindFlayer >>

I just thought I comment on this: I really dislike the term "player" when used to denote one of the players playing a character. it makes it seem like the DM is not playing the game, when they really are playing. but I guess it's the best term to use, because both PC and character denote the player's character, not the player themselves. maybe we could use a term non-dungeon master player? or character player?

It's a fair point, but you have to be able to distinguish between the "game piece" and the person who controls it.  So "player" and "character" seem like they're here to stay.  It seems like we can avoid the problem you're having just as easily by changing the term "dungeon master" to be less exclusive.  Call of Cthulhu used "Keeper," as in, "of the Asylum."  IIRC, World of Darkness used "Storyteller."  I'm sure I remember someone using "Narrator."  Honestly, I'd prefer DM to "judge" or "referee."  

I mean..."goalie???"  How do you describe the role of this specific type of player; the way you can distinguish between a pitcher and an opposing batter or the catcher?  What do you call the person who sits behind the screen and does all the work we've been discussing, including occasionally stabbing their teammates and the kicking them while they're down??  "Processor?" "Emcee?"  "Snack Mom?"

Quote from NaivaraArnuanna >>

Quote from Lyxen >>

Quote from HomebrewMindFlayer >>

I just thought I comment on this: I really dislike the term "player" when used to denote one of the players playing a character. it makes it seem like the DM is not playing the game, when they really are playing. but I guess it's the best term to use, because both PC and character denote the player's character, not the player themselves. maybe we could use a term non-dungeon master player? or character player?

 

It's the official term, you know, "Player's Handbook"...

 While I also use the term "player" MindFlayer is right—DMs are players too and I feel like people forget that a lot. (And the DMG doesn't tell you the basic rules anyway!)

That's why I prefer to use PC, as in Player Character (though I often forget to use this). DMs are still playing the game, they just typically do not have player characters.