started getting interested in this hobby seriously about a year ago. researched alot on rules, watched alot of videos, felt ready to join. Since then ive paid to joined 3 pay to play "campaigns" that ended up being one shots, joined a server for games that were supposed to be free, got banned after showing a moderator one of there other moderators were charging for games, and im on the verge of actively warning other players away from it now. have i had bad luck, or just is being scammed and lied to the norm when just trying to join the hobby? after MTG, 40K, and various boardgames i feel like activly warning other players about this and away from the hobby at this point after being impossible to have a steady game in 6 months and constantly being lied to and scammed
I mean gatekeeping isn't being used the right way here. Gatekeeping is a social term about people trying to keep people out of the hobby specifically on some sort of basis like race, creed, gender, knowledge level, SOMETHING. You had bad games, but they let you in. The discord mod kicking you out sounds like a bad community where they were scamming people.
You have run into some definite toxicity, and it sounds like some just plain shitty "communities". The hobby as a whole doesn't represent this, and honestly, we're at a time when it's more inclusive than ever before. Specifically toward new players.
Use the D&D Beyond Discord and Reddit to find some games and go from there. It can take time to find some quality people, but that would be my suggestion. Look at the people first and if they ring those warning bells, then bounce before you even play.
ahh in my area, gatekeeping refers to those of higher knowledge using that to extort or remove people interested in the hobby from it unless they follow that persons specific ideas. ive actually only used DND beyond to find players (not there discord or reddit, just the site its self) , so all my experiences are from this site and meeting people from it.... and i know its not 100% bad, i am DMing my own free game (after 2 failed attempts of restarting after players couldnt join at the advertised time) and its going pretty good, but it feels unless your willing to be a DM its near impossible to find a game unless your willing to keep getting scammed untill you find the one group thats not that way, and this is the only hobby ive tried where this seems normal
ahh in my area, gatekeeping refers to those of higher knowledge using that to extort or remove people interested in the hobby from it unless they follow that persons specific ideas. ive actually only used DND beyond to find players (not there discord or reddit, just the site its self) , so all my experiences are from this site and meeting people from it....
Gotcha. I'd honestly say the D&D Beyond discord(which really does have an entirely different community) or just reddit(which would probably lead to discords) are a better outlet only because you're going to find more "real time" people. Discord is also geared toward a much different audience, so if your experiences here haven't worked then it might be time to cast a different net into the ocean.
Bad luck. Sour, awful bad luck, and a small handful of predatory jackasses being words-Rei-Can't-use-in-public. I'm sorry that's been your experience, Tacoo
Looking For Groups & Players would be the first place to check. Lots of folks are starting up online games and fishing for a crew to play with. Browse through some ads, see if anything excites you, and then send some private messages or, if the thread is open for recruitment, post in and say hi.
Play By Post is a very different sort of vibe and not for everyone, but it's also pretty low intensity and can fit busy schedules better than fixed-session games. Might be a good place to try and get your feet wet; finding a good PbP group can lead to finding a group to play more typical D&D with later as well.
Finally, you could hang out on the forums here, post places, and get to know people. Finding friends in the community here is a gateway to finding groups as well. It's the most time intensive and least certain method, but the cool part is that you don't need to pick just one. Case LFG, case PBP, get active in the community. Heh, heck - see if your IRL friends, or friends from other hobbies and interests you have, are willing to try a game or two. Don't try and sell them on a years-long campaign right away, ask them if they want to try dropping in for a game or two to see if the interest is there and if they like it. You'd be surprised how many people just want more after they sit down and have a proper session of tabletop RPG.
Online is just a really unreliable environment. You might find good games online too, particularly on more reputable discords, but it's always going to be even more hit and miss than groups that actually meet up.
There's a link to a bunch of options for finding a group in my sig. Don't get disheartened, there are definitely great people out there for you to play D&D with.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
I am sorry you had such a bad experience--I would not let that color your idea of the hobby as a whole.
Another option is to go to your local game store and see if they have any fliers up or asking the staff if they are familiar with anyone looking to put a game together. Provided you have a good gamestore (and boy am I aware of how many game stores are rather vile places), the staff might have a lead on someone looking for players. I think there are also websites, beyond places like Reddit, that have "looking for group" postings, so I would google around.
Frankly, I probably would avoid any pay-to-play games--I know there are honest DMs who charge, but it still seems rife for predatory behavior. There are plenty of great DMs out there who just do it for the love of the game, and all they really require is for you to bring snacks and/or alcohol every now and then (if the game is in-person).
However, the easiest way to get a group together? Dungeon Master. Being a DM without ever having really been a player can be difficult, but it is not impossible. That is how I started playing the game--I wanted to give it a try so I bought some of the rulebooks and got some friends and family to be my player characters.
lookin for group & players is where all the experiences came from, and play by post just isint what im looking for. while i dont look every day, this is the site ive been using to find groups and to play because my attempts to find a group that works for my schedule only works if i DM, and i do that on tuesdays, and im very noob at it, but really just wanna play some DND and just havent been able too unless i try another paid campaign, and as a steampunk lover, usually any race involving that is not allowed cause everyone wants elves and dwarves, but a warforged is worse then a halfing with the luck feat, and i just wanna play some dnd, but im over trying to get involved in this hobby after 6 months of being scammed and lied too. ill join the discord to try again, but beyond someone actually wanting to just have a fun campaign in this hobby messaging me, ive tried enough that if anyone ask me, my opinion of this hobby is that unless you got a DM and dedicated group of friends intrested in trying, its more toxic then a moba . ive tried in person but Monday is my only day to join and in person is only a saturday thing in my area
@caerwyn_glyndwr do that for my tuesday because that legit the only way i get to play, but as such, it makes me not able to recommend this hobby to anyone because you cant actually be a player anymore
Never ever pay to play. D&D is a fun game for family and friends. Literally anyone can be a DM, there are no special training or abilities needed. Just the desire to tell a good story, have fun with friends and to spend a bit of time reading the rule book. You can play easily with copies of just the Players guide, the DM guide is helpful but not required, and the monster manual can help. Anything else is window dressing.
Never ever pay to play. D&D is a fun game for family and friends. Literally anyone can be a DM, there are no special training or abilities needed. Just the desire to tell a good story, have fun with friends and to spend a bit of time reading the rule book. You can play easily with copies of just the Players guide, the DM guide is helpful but not required, and the monster manual can help. Anything else is window dressing.
Great platitude. Now while you're not wrong about the material needs for D&D, when we actually read the poster's troubles, it looks like their dilemma is having been trying to find a game to play for at least three months (by D&D Beyond join date, maybe longer through other venues) and seems to be able to only find paid games that can accommodate their schedule. How does the platitude apply to that? Is no D&D always better than paid D&D? I think reasonable people do disagree on this, in fact there are lengthy forum discussion on the matter right here. I think realistic people recognize that the NEVER EVER PAY insistence would result in a lot less people having the opportunity to play, so sometimes the platitudes need to be brought back down to earth in order to help someone.
To the OP. It does stink not being in an environment with a readily identifiable and available player base. I would say keep trying to twist the arms of your friends to get them interested in the game, or get your way into a local gaming community where folks don't pay to play; but also pay to play to get your game fix in to tide you over while you work on establishing or entering a gaming community. My earliest gaming experiences included paid events at conventions, and it was the stories i brought back from those paid events at conventions that got my solid group of players to make a serious go of playing. $5 back in the day looks to be about 11 bucks now, but there were no VTTs, or even miniatures really (at least usually). Just paper sheets, graph paper, with a player volunteering as "mapper" and you did your own math.
As for vetting games, I think the best practice for both players and DMs I've seen in the paid space is being invited to freely observe a session. I know many GMs on Start Playing Games do this. A "playing" seat costs money but spectators (often curious parents/relatives of a younger payer, but also potential players for the GM's other games) can watch muted for free and see if the GM's style meets their expectations. Observers are muted during sessions, but most GMs who invite this will chat or correspond with the player for follow up (also helps them vet whether the potential player is a good fit). If you see something you like, sign up for their game, a lot of these folks run the same games for different people so a preview session will give you a rough idea of what you might be getting into.
Word of advice on communicating with potential DMs at the outset, don't go lead the conversations with "don't scam me!" or declarations that you're going to tell "everyone you know" TTRPGs are a scam. As a DM, I'd see that as someone unwilling to put aside their past injury for the opportunity to actually play, as well as someone who doesn't recognize their experience is one person's experience in a hobby that many many more people than you actually do enjoy in the way you think it should be. It's a sort of chip on shoulder thing. Don't bring it. If you enjoy your time with a DM, let them know down the line that their playing with you changed your outlook on the hobby. That'll flatter them, and maybe ease up on resisting whatever homebrew you may want to bring into the game (that's a joke, don't flatter for homebrew favors).
Great platitude. Now while you're not wrong about the material needs for D&D, when we actually read the poster's troubles, it looks like their dilemma is having been trying to find a game to play for at least three months (by D&D Beyond join date, maybe longer through other venues) and seems to be able to only find paid games that can accommodate their schedule. How does the platitude apply to that? Is no D&D always better than paid D&D? I think reasonable people do disagree on this, in fact there are lengthy forum discussion on the matter right here. I think realistic people recognize that the NEVER EVER PAY insistence would result in a lot less people having the opportunity to play, so sometimes the platitudes need to be brought back down to earth in order to help someone.
I disagree entirely. There are numerous clubs and societies where you can go and join a game, many schools have a wargaming and rpg club, many rpg retailers will have games set up in store with only a small surcharge for the table hire. One major retailer near me only charged for organised wargaming and card game tournaments. Small groups of rpg players could have a table as long as there was room for free. The only caveat was that you couldn't take food in, you had to use their cafe / shop. Some companies also have clubs or groups, I am involved with one group which was exclusively for the people who work there, I have just this week found out that there is a full on social network for my company for rpg, with their own website etc. One of my colleagues plays a game with her husband and daughter at the moment because she can't find a game that suits her schedule. There are always options if you look. The OP actually said that they have only looked on the DNDBeyond forum. There are hundreds of other websites that can be looked at to find a group, this place is just one of many, and certainly not the be all and end all. I have no time at all for the pay to play mentality.
You had really bad luck. There's some legit DM and server out there. I frequently play D&D online with strangers either in one shot or campaign i take part. I also run one shots from time and a campaign as well. Message me if you'd like some D&D Discord channel.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again... Someone could make a decent living creating a site to connect players and DMs. Everyone would be able to "review" everyone else, and the site would make it easy to find a game or players that suit the table.
Organized play may be available to you. Though it’s not a lot of people’s first choice of play style, it’s a good place to meet other local gamers and there’s usually a DM or two already involved. I’ve added a few players to my home game after meeting them through DDAL at the FLGS. I even found a DM to take over for a couple of years when my regular forever DM wanted to play for a while instead.
Is there a friendly local gaming store in your area?
I've said it before, and I'll say it again... Someone could make a decent living creating a site to connect players and DMs. Everyone would be able to "review" everyone else, and the site would make it easy to find a game or players that suit the table.
Used by my local Pathfinder Society for organized play. That particular group may be defunct—I haven’t played PFS for a while now—but it’s a site that does the thing for lots of gamers.
Startplaying is a good site and there are great DM's on there. People leave reviews about the DM and their style, so it might be easier to weed out the ones you don't have any interest in and at least try out a campaign. You can leave a game at any time and aren't required to stay for a certain amount of time.
Great platitude. Now while you're not wrong about the material needs for D&D, when we actually read the poster's troubles, it looks like their dilemma is having been trying to find a game to play for at least three months (by D&D Beyond join date, maybe longer through other venues) and seems to be able to only find paid games that can accommodate their schedule. How does the platitude apply to that? Is no D&D always better than paid D&D? I think reasonable people do disagree on this, in fact there are lengthy forum discussion on the matter right here. I think realistic people recognize that the NEVER EVER PAY insistence would result in a lot less people having the opportunity to play, so sometimes the platitudes need to be brought back down to earth in order to help someone.
I disagree entirely. There are numerous clubs and societies where you can go and join a game, many schools have a wargaming and rpg club, many rpg retailers will have games set up in store with only a small surcharge for the table hire. One major retailer near me only charged for organised wargaming and card game tournaments. Small groups of rpg players could have a table as long as there was room for free. The only caveat was that you couldn't take food in, you had to use their cafe / shop. Some companies also have clubs or groups, I am involved with one group which was exclusively for the people who work there, I have just this week found out that there is a full on social network for my company for rpg, with their own website etc. One of my colleagues plays a game with her husband and daughter at the moment because she can't find a game that suits her schedule. There are always options if you look. The OP actually said that they have only looked on the DNDBeyond forum. There are hundreds of other websites that can be looked at to find a group, this place is just one of many, and certainly not the be all and end all. I have no time at all for the pay to play mentality.
[REDACTED]
So back to OP, [REDACTED], one can break out a sort of local resources inventory of avenues to try and find a stable cohort of gamers with no money down aside from maybe table rental or pooled snacks. I'll break it down as a list of resources and ways to utilize them:
1.) Are there games stores or comic book shops accessible to you (this might be the Saturday only crowd, apologies if I'm covering ground you've already explored)? If they've got active social media (like recent posts, not post from two years ago), hit them up there, or try their phone number and email. Say you're a new D&D player looking for groups and ask then if they know of any groups looking or if there's some message board they can recommend you connect on. Local groups are less likely to have "scammers" or "toxic" types as they try to take care of their own.
2.) Are you in school? If you're in middle or high school, check if there's a club, and if it's inactive maybe you can revive it. If there isn't maybe approach a teacher to see if they could advise you on setting one up. If you're in college, I wouldn't say most but I know many campuses support official game clubs as part of their student activities program, these scenes also have a lot of overlap with the local game/comic store community. Setting up a club on your own may seem like a lot of work, but honestly a lot of game "scenes" are credits to the work of one person who "did the thing" of setting up some game groups and getting folks together.
3.) Do you work? Some large companies do have in house gaming clubs. If you have a friend who works for a large megacorp, maybe they know of such a club that may make an exception for an outsider or connect you with an outside of work group.
4.) Everyone forgets about public libraries. Give them a call or a note and see if they have a local club or a group that uses library space.
COVID protocols depending on where you are both complicate and broaden opportunity. While some spaces still vacillate between being open to in person gaming or not, more people are getting into gaming and may lean on those in person spaces as venues to facilitate online play.
I know nothing of your geography, age, etc. So I'm not sure how viable these options are. I am sensing you may be on the younger side and I'll sympathize that the most frustrating time in my gaming life was early on trying to find people to play with. There wasn't an internet to connect with new people and D&D was a sorta "nerd" thing a lot of people were peer and parent steered away from. Yeah, there was a big metro 45 minutes away with an active game scene, but that wasn't exactly accessible to a middle schooler. I wound up going to a couple of conventions, and honestly, as I said, I got my first other peer players local to me to meet up to try playing while sitting in pews in the basement chapel of a Catholic church waiting for our turn at Confession (I'm not involved with any faith these days, but if you are involved in a Church, that may be another venue through their youth program or what have you, gaming is a lot more acceptable in faith communities than it used to be). Into high school the types of games we played and number of players we had ballooned, and when the comic book store opened my little community intersected with the a larger community. Sometimes, when there's no infrastructure, you have to become the infrastructure and lean into the "if you build it, they will come" mantra from that baseball movie.
Sounds daunting, so if any of that is a vector you haven't tried that you can try to work, again, there is nothing wrong with paying a few bucks here and there to get your gaming fix while trying to create or discover a gaming scene in your community, despite folks allergic to the concept.
*(personally I think both the forum and Discord should ban paid gaming solicits or at minimum push it to an advertising subforum separate from LFP/LFG as DDB isn't set up for quality control and transaction integrity on this front and why expose your community to the known risks of the "scam boom" that popped up during Covid? Roll20 should as well. While I believe the OP is incorrect in their scam declaration for the entire hobby, I think the industry should be aware that bad pay to play is giving some folks a bad experience . [REDACTED]).
Notes: Keep comments respectful, constructive, and on-topic.
started getting interested in this hobby seriously about a year ago. researched alot on rules, watched alot of videos, felt ready to join. Since then ive paid to joined 3 pay to play "campaigns" that ended up being one shots, joined a server for games that were supposed to be free, got banned after showing a moderator one of there other moderators were charging for games, and im on the verge of actively warning other players away from it now. have i had bad luck, or just is being scammed and lied to the norm when just trying to join the hobby? after MTG, 40K, and various boardgames i feel like activly warning other players about this and away from the hobby at this point after being impossible to have a steady game in 6 months and constantly being lied to and scammed
I mean gatekeeping isn't being used the right way here. Gatekeeping is a social term about people trying to keep people out of the hobby specifically on some sort of basis like race, creed, gender, knowledge level, SOMETHING. You had bad games, but they let you in. The discord mod kicking you out sounds like a bad community where they were scamming people.
You have run into some definite toxicity, and it sounds like some just plain shitty "communities". The hobby as a whole doesn't represent this, and honestly, we're at a time when it's more inclusive than ever before. Specifically toward new players.
Use the D&D Beyond Discord and Reddit to find some games and go from there. It can take time to find some quality people, but that would be my suggestion. Look at the people first and if they ring those warning bells, then bounce before you even play.
ahh in my area, gatekeeping refers to those of higher knowledge using that to extort or remove people interested in the hobby from it unless they follow that persons specific ideas. ive actually only used DND beyond to find players (not there discord or reddit, just the site its self) , so all my experiences are from this site and meeting people from it.... and i know its not 100% bad, i am DMing my own free game (after 2 failed attempts of restarting after players couldnt join at the advertised time) and its going pretty good, but it feels unless your willing to be a DM its near impossible to find a game unless your willing to keep getting scammed untill you find the one group thats not that way, and this is the only hobby ive tried where this seems normal
Gotcha. I'd honestly say the D&D Beyond discord(which really does have an entirely different community) or just reddit(which would probably lead to discords) are a better outlet only because you're going to find more "real time" people. Discord is also geared toward a much different audience, so if your experiences here haven't worked then it might be time to cast a different net into the ocean.
https://www.reddit.com/r/lfg/
Bad luck. Sour, awful bad luck, and a small handful of predatory jackasses being words-Rei-Can't-use-in-public. I'm sorry that's been your experience, Tacoo
Looking For Groups & Players would be the first place to check. Lots of folks are starting up online games and fishing for a crew to play with. Browse through some ads, see if anything excites you, and then send some private messages or, if the thread is open for recruitment, post in and say hi.
Play By Post is a very different sort of vibe and not for everyone, but it's also pretty low intensity and can fit busy schedules better than fixed-session games. Might be a good place to try and get your feet wet; finding a good PbP group can lead to finding a group to play more typical D&D with later as well.
Finally, you could hang out on the forums here, post places, and get to know people. Finding friends in the community here is a gateway to finding groups as well. It's the most time intensive and least certain method, but the cool part is that you don't need to pick just one. Case LFG, case PBP, get active in the community. Heh, heck - see if your IRL friends, or friends from other hobbies and interests you have, are willing to try a game or two. Don't try and sell them on a years-long campaign right away, ask them if they want to try dropping in for a game or two to see if the interest is there and if they like it. You'd be surprised how many people just want more after they sit down and have a proper session of tabletop RPG.
Please do not contact or message me.
Online is just a really unreliable environment. You might find good games online too, particularly on more reputable discords, but it's always going to be even more hit and miss than groups that actually meet up.
There's a link to a bunch of options for finding a group in my sig. Don't get disheartened, there are definitely great people out there for you to play D&D with.
Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
I am sorry you had such a bad experience--I would not let that color your idea of the hobby as a whole.
Another option is to go to your local game store and see if they have any fliers up or asking the staff if they are familiar with anyone looking to put a game together. Provided you have a good gamestore (and boy am I aware of how many game stores are rather vile places), the staff might have a lead on someone looking for players. I think there are also websites, beyond places like Reddit, that have "looking for group" postings, so I would google around.
Frankly, I probably would avoid any pay-to-play games--I know there are honest DMs who charge, but it still seems rife for predatory behavior. There are plenty of great DMs out there who just do it for the love of the game, and all they really require is for you to bring snacks and/or alcohol every now and then (if the game is in-person).
However, the easiest way to get a group together? Dungeon Master. Being a DM without ever having really been a player can be difficult, but it is not impossible. That is how I started playing the game--I wanted to give it a try so I bought some of the rulebooks and got some friends and family to be my player characters.
lookin for group & players is where all the experiences came from, and play by post just isint what im looking for. while i dont look every day, this is the site ive been using to find groups and to play because my attempts to find a group that works for my schedule only works if i DM, and i do that on tuesdays, and im very noob at it, but really just wanna play some DND and just havent been able too unless i try another paid campaign, and as a steampunk lover, usually any race involving that is not allowed cause everyone wants elves and dwarves, but a warforged is worse then a halfing with the luck feat, and i just wanna play some dnd, but im over trying to get involved in this hobby after 6 months of being scammed and lied too. ill join the discord to try again, but beyond someone actually wanting to just have a fun campaign in this hobby messaging me, ive tried enough that if anyone ask me, my opinion of this hobby is that unless you got a DM and dedicated group of friends intrested in trying, its more toxic then a moba . ive tried in person but Monday is my only day to join and in person is only a saturday thing in my area
@caerwyn_glyndwr do that for my tuesday because that legit the only way i get to play, but as such, it makes me not able to recommend this hobby to anyone because you cant actually be a player anymore
Never ever pay to play. D&D is a fun game for family and friends. Literally anyone can be a DM, there are no special training or abilities needed. Just the desire to tell a good story, have fun with friends and to spend a bit of time reading the rule book. You can play easily with copies of just the Players guide, the DM guide is helpful but not required, and the monster manual can help. Anything else is window dressing.
Great platitude. Now while you're not wrong about the material needs for D&D, when we actually read the poster's troubles, it looks like their dilemma is having been trying to find a game to play for at least three months (by D&D Beyond join date, maybe longer through other venues) and seems to be able to only find paid games that can accommodate their schedule. How does the platitude apply to that? Is no D&D always better than paid D&D? I think reasonable people do disagree on this, in fact there are lengthy forum discussion on the matter right here. I think realistic people recognize that the NEVER EVER PAY insistence would result in a lot less people having the opportunity to play, so sometimes the platitudes need to be brought back down to earth in order to help someone.
To the OP. It does stink not being in an environment with a readily identifiable and available player base. I would say keep trying to twist the arms of your friends to get them interested in the game, or get your way into a local gaming community where folks don't pay to play; but also pay to play to get your game fix in to tide you over while you work on establishing or entering a gaming community. My earliest gaming experiences included paid events at conventions, and it was the stories i brought back from those paid events at conventions that got my solid group of players to make a serious go of playing. $5 back in the day looks to be about 11 bucks now, but there were no VTTs, or even miniatures really (at least usually). Just paper sheets, graph paper, with a player volunteering as "mapper" and you did your own math.
As for vetting games, I think the best practice for both players and DMs I've seen in the paid space is being invited to freely observe a session. I know many GMs on Start Playing Games do this. A "playing" seat costs money but spectators (often curious parents/relatives of a younger payer, but also potential players for the GM's other games) can watch muted for free and see if the GM's style meets their expectations. Observers are muted during sessions, but most GMs who invite this will chat or correspond with the player for follow up (also helps them vet whether the potential player is a good fit). If you see something you like, sign up for their game, a lot of these folks run the same games for different people so a preview session will give you a rough idea of what you might be getting into.
Word of advice on communicating with potential DMs at the outset, don't go lead the conversations with "don't scam me!" or declarations that you're going to tell "everyone you know" TTRPGs are a scam. As a DM, I'd see that as someone unwilling to put aside their past injury for the opportunity to actually play, as well as someone who doesn't recognize their experience is one person's experience in a hobby that many many more people than you actually do enjoy in the way you think it should be. It's a sort of chip on shoulder thing. Don't bring it. If you enjoy your time with a DM, let them know down the line that their playing with you changed your outlook on the hobby. That'll flatter them, and maybe ease up on resisting whatever homebrew you may want to bring into the game (that's a joke, don't flatter for homebrew favors).
Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
I disagree entirely. There are numerous clubs and societies where you can go and join a game, many schools have a wargaming and rpg club, many rpg retailers will have games set up in store with only a small surcharge for the table hire. One major retailer near me only charged for organised wargaming and card game tournaments. Small groups of rpg players could have a table as long as there was room for free. The only caveat was that you couldn't take food in, you had to use their cafe / shop. Some companies also have clubs or groups, I am involved with one group which was exclusively for the people who work there, I have just this week found out that there is a full on social network for my company for rpg, with their own website etc. One of my colleagues plays a game with her husband and daughter at the moment because she can't find a game that suits her schedule. There are always options if you look. The OP actually said that they have only looked on the DNDBeyond forum. There are hundreds of other websites that can be looked at to find a group, this place is just one of many, and certainly not the be all and end all. I have no time at all for the pay to play mentality.
You had really bad luck. There's some legit DM and server out there. I frequently play D&D online with strangers either in one shot or campaign i take part. I also run one shots from time and a campaign as well. Message me if you'd like some D&D Discord channel.
Don't give up and you will find some game.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again... Someone could make a decent living creating a site to connect players and DMs. Everyone would be able to "review" everyone else, and the site would make it easy to find a game or players that suit the table.
Some sites that does that exist already, such as StartPlaying
Organized play may be available to you. Though it’s not a lot of people’s first choice of play style, it’s a good place to meet other local gamers and there’s usually a DM or two already involved. I’ve added a few players to my home game after meeting them through DDAL at the FLGS. I even found a DM to take over for a couple of years when my regular forever DM wanted to play for a while instead.
Is there a friendly local gaming store in your area?
https://warhorn.net/
Used by my local Pathfinder Society for organized play. That particular group may be defunct—I haven’t played PFS for a while now—but it’s a site that does the thing for lots of gamers.
Startplaying is a good site and there are great DM's on there. People leave reviews about the DM and their style, so it might be easier to weed out the ones you don't have any interest in and at least try out a campaign. You can leave a game at any time and aren't required to stay for a certain amount of time.
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So back to OP, [REDACTED], one can break out a sort of local resources inventory of avenues to try and find a stable cohort of gamers with no money down aside from maybe table rental or pooled snacks. I'll break it down as a list of resources and ways to utilize them:
1.) Are there games stores or comic book shops accessible to you (this might be the Saturday only crowd, apologies if I'm covering ground you've already explored)? If they've got active social media (like recent posts, not post from two years ago), hit them up there, or try their phone number and email. Say you're a new D&D player looking for groups and ask then if they know of any groups looking or if there's some message board they can recommend you connect on. Local groups are less likely to have "scammers" or "toxic" types as they try to take care of their own.
2.) Are you in school? If you're in middle or high school, check if there's a club, and if it's inactive maybe you can revive it. If there isn't maybe approach a teacher to see if they could advise you on setting one up. If you're in college, I wouldn't say most but I know many campuses support official game clubs as part of their student activities program, these scenes also have a lot of overlap with the local game/comic store community. Setting up a club on your own may seem like a lot of work, but honestly a lot of game "scenes" are credits to the work of one person who "did the thing" of setting up some game groups and getting folks together.
3.) Do you work? Some large companies do have in house gaming clubs. If you have a friend who works for a large megacorp, maybe they know of such a club that may make an exception for an outsider or connect you with an outside of work group.
4.) Everyone forgets about public libraries. Give them a call or a note and see if they have a local club or a group that uses library space.
COVID protocols depending on where you are both complicate and broaden opportunity. While some spaces still vacillate between being open to in person gaming or not, more people are getting into gaming and may lean on those in person spaces as venues to facilitate online play.
I know nothing of your geography, age, etc. So I'm not sure how viable these options are. I am sensing you may be on the younger side and I'll sympathize that the most frustrating time in my gaming life was early on trying to find people to play with. There wasn't an internet to connect with new people and D&D was a sorta "nerd" thing a lot of people were peer and parent steered away from. Yeah, there was a big metro 45 minutes away with an active game scene, but that wasn't exactly accessible to a middle schooler. I wound up going to a couple of conventions, and honestly, as I said, I got my first other peer players local to me to meet up to try playing while sitting in pews in the basement chapel of a Catholic church waiting for our turn at Confession (I'm not involved with any faith these days, but if you are involved in a Church, that may be another venue through their youth program or what have you, gaming is a lot more acceptable in faith communities than it used to be). Into high school the types of games we played and number of players we had ballooned, and when the comic book store opened my little community intersected with the a larger community. Sometimes, when there's no infrastructure, you have to become the infrastructure and lean into the "if you build it, they will come" mantra from that baseball movie.
Sounds daunting, so if any of that is a vector you haven't tried that you can try to work, again, there is nothing wrong with paying a few bucks here and there to get your gaming fix while trying to create or discover a gaming scene in your community, despite folks allergic to the concept.
*(personally I think both the forum and Discord should ban paid gaming solicits or at minimum push it to an advertising subforum separate from LFP/LFG as DDB isn't set up for quality control and transaction integrity on this front and why expose your community to the known risks of the "scam boom" that popped up during Covid? Roll20 should as well. While I believe the OP is incorrect in their scam declaration for the entire hobby, I think the industry should be aware that bad pay to play is giving some folks a bad experience . [REDACTED]).
Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.