I'd be VERY curious as to how Harvey explained or talked about this kind of behavior:

 he lurches up from the table and starts yelling, then stomps around and throws things, usually his own stuff. He looms over everyone at the table and, red-faced, froths as he hollers about how unfair everything is, and how he should be allowed to do things the way he wants to. His tirades can last up to 20 minutes, and even the most careful play can result in 2 or 3 of these tirades, every session.

Because this is simply not the behavior of a person with adequate impulse control, social skills, or emotional IQ. 

I really hope for your sake, first_rolled, that the problems don't happen again. And you have my respect for not just taking the high road but being patient and allowing for growth.

If it happens again, you should leave and not come back, regardless of the apologies or justifications. That type of behavior is toxic and no one should have to deal with that at the gaming table (or in any situation, really).

Quote from first_rolled_a_die_in_1976 >>

Thoughts? Input? Alternate ways of dealing with this kind of person?

 Just ghosting the session. If it's not obvious to the rest of the group why you don't want to play then a letter probably wont help.

During our meeting, I learned that Harvey indeed has impulse control issues. Harvey has been jailed as a result of this problem, but not for physical assault. I did not ask for further detail on that subject. I learned that his outbursts stem from Harvey's habit of jumping to conclusions, often based on spotty information, and his compulsively defensive communication style. In short, Harvey's mind grabs hold of the first piece of information that may be interpreted as 'negative' to him. He then builds a 'worst case scenario' around that seed, and reacts publicly to his conclusion of the situation. Those at the table don't have a clue on the 'why', until he eventually gets to the point of his rant. As a whole, the majority of his rants are eventually proven as baseless.

I asked him if he thought that anyone at the table deserves his tirades, and he agreed that no one does. I asked him if he realized that his impulses to get his thoughts out to the table, as they come to him, are a constant distraction to the game play. He said that he did not, (no one wanted to tell him this) and he would work to curb his tongue. I suggested that he write down those thoughts, so he could present them to the table at more appropriate moments.

It is not reasonable to assume that this individual can change his behavior overnight. If he can keep making the effort, and continue to take the feedback of others at the table in a positive light, then I for one will remain. Again, only time will tell.

Quote from first_rolled_a_die_in_1976 >>

It is not reasonable to assume that this individual can change his behavior overnight. If he can keep making the effort, and continue to take the feedback of others at the table in a positive light, then I for one will remain. Again, only time will tell.

 To be fair to *you*, this could be flipped as ''it is not reasonable for someone with serious interpersonal issues to come to the table and impose them on others".

D&D is not therapy.

Quote from LookEm >>

Quote from first_rolled_a_die_in_1976 >>

It is not reasonable to assume that this individual can change his behavior overnight. If he can keep making the effort, and continue to take the feedback of others at the table in a positive light, then I for one will remain. Again, only time will tell.

 To be fair to *you*, this could be flipped as ''it is not reasonable for someone with serious interpersonal issues to come to the table and impose them on others".

D&D is not therapy.

 I agree with your statement. My patience has its limits, and I am at the table for fun, not to help a virtual stranger work through decades of behavioral issues.

+1 for this.  Sadly, hindsight is 20/20, sometimes advantage, sometimes with disadvantage.

Thanks again, everyone, for your participation. Perhaps some of the information presented here in this thread can help others, in similar situations.

Well "played".

It's a tough one and you've come out the other side with a "victory", sounds like the guy might well have had some IRL issue(s) he was dealing with badly - but has handled it like an adult.  So, best case scenario all round, concentrate on enjoying the game.

As a side note, might be worth offering the guy to go out for a beer away from the table if that'd be something you'd be inclined to do.  Guy's got some stuff going on and might appreciate a situation he's not built up an emotional involvement in, but...  you're the best judge there. 

Harvey absolutely needs to be in therapy. I write this not in judgment or as criticism. But it's very clear that he has very limited awareness of what's driving him, and when the problems are this severe, raw willpower or good intentions aren't enough.

Thanks for this thread, first_rolled. I hope things work out for you, and for Harvey.

As someone that's gone through therapy - and I hope that doesn't sound like I have a negative attitude to it, was a very positive experience for me.

Yes "Harvey" does need therapy and honestly - if you can afford and schedule it (wherever you are in the world), I'd say it's a worthwhile and valid experience.

Just to be clear, we're not talking about the Jimmy Stewart film right?

Quote from Jokei >>

 . .

Just to be clear, we're not talking about the Jimmy Stewart film right?

The Harvey of this thread is a real human. I did like the movie, though.