Before we begin, I want to point out that though this setting is not part of any official D&D setting, it does have the Gods, Demons, and Devils, of the Forgotten Realms. Also, this is all work in progress. Any suggestions for improvement are welcome.
Our story is set in a homebrew Kingdom, based on my home state of Minnesota. 20 years ago, the Kingdom of Minnesota emerged victorious in a bloody war for independence from the Empire of Enroth... but the victory came at a price. Emperor Roland, of the Empire, reluctantly agreed to acknowledge Minnesota as a soverign nation, and King Archibald of Minnesota, as it's sovereign monarch who would not answer to him... under one condition. Archibald's shy and bookish son, Prince Nikolai, would wed Roland's spoiled and bad tempered daughter, Princess Catherine, when the two came of age. Despite protests from nobles and commoners, Minnesota could not afford to fight a Enrothian counter invasion, too many men and money had been lost in the war. So, despite suspecting an ulterior motive and protests, Archibald agreed to the terms. And the Prince and Princess were wed as soon as they came of age.
As you can imagine, Nikolai and Catherine, did not get along at all. They argued constantly over everything, and she abused him in every way you can imagine. Despite their mutual resentment of eachother, they did successfully produce an heir, Princess Isabella. But two month's before the campaign starts, Catherine learned her husband was cheating on her. Enraged, she hired an assassin to kill Nikolai, but the attempt failed when a spy loyal to the Prince, was able to warn Nikolai, and the assassin was killed. Nikolai, finally having had enough of his hated wife, went to the church to annul the marriage. But the Archbishop was loyal to the King, and reported this to Archibald. Archibald, was furious at his son jeopardizing the treaty with Enroth, and had both his son and daughter-in law imprisoned and disinherited, and named his granddaughter, his heir.
But shortly after that, Archibald changed his mind, and had Nikolai freed and reinstated as Crown Prince. Shortly after that, Isabella's 17th birthday arrived, and Nikolai prepared the best party he could afford. And that's where the players show up, either as guests or servants, at Isabella's birthday party. Most of the event is intrigue, festivities, and learning of the big names in Minnesota's system... and uncovering a poisoned drink in the kitchen, but there's no trail. After the toast at the feast, or the PC's make the poisoned drink public, a prison guard arrives with unexpected news... Catherine, somehow escaped from prison. Any investigations of the dungeon leave to trails to follow. If the players DON'T find the poisoned drink at the party though, they do find the drink in her prison food to be poisoned. The following morning, more dire news shows up. Archibald, died in his sleep. And if the players investigate his body, they lesarn he was poisoned... by the same poison they found earlier. Isabella, has vanished, but there are no signs of a break in or struggle in her chambers, and the Kingdom is under attack by armies of monsters and undead... and their banners are the mark of Baalzebul, One of the Archdevils of the 9 Hells, and Archduke of Maladomini, the seventh Hell. Nikolai is quickly crowned King, and suspects that Catherine's escape, Isabella's dissapearance, and the invasion are all connected. He thinks Catherine made a deal with Baalzebul, and sends the players to find his wife and daughter.
More much of the campaign, the players are lead to think that Catherine indeed, made a deal with Baalzebul. But at some point, after fighting monsters, exploring the wilds, saving lives learning more about this invasion and braving dark dungeons, the plot twists. In a twist of fate, Nikolai, was the one who made the deal. Finally snapping in prison, and vowing revenge on everyone who has ruined his life, Nikolai made a pact with Baalzebul. If Baalzebul would help him regain his position as Crown Prince, and help him get revenge on his father and wife, AND turn Minnesota into the most powerful Empire in the world, he would give Baalzebul, their souls as payment, and make Basalzebul, the God of the new Minnesotan religion. Baalzebul, accepted Nikolai's offer, and planted the idea into Archibald's head to release his son. The initial plan, was to poison them as Isabella's birthday party. The poisoned drink the players found, was meant for Catherine, to be delivered to her cell. And Archibald, was poisoned before the party began, as it kills the victim in their sleep. But since Catherine escaped, Nikolai had failed to deliver the souls at the appointed deadline. Archdevils don't like it when their clients fail, default, back out, or try to cheat their way out of a deal. And what Nikolai didn't know, was that there was a clause in their deal that stated that if he failed, defaulted, backed out, or tried to cheat in the deal, Baalzebul would be authorized to take custody of the souls himself by any means he deems necessary... no matter how many corpses he has to make.
And Nikolai's plan was to try and salvage the situation by having the players bring him Catherine, so he could sacrifice her to appease Baalzebul so he'd call off the invasion. The two Princesses, I'm still trying to figure how Catherine escaped, but I've decided to reveal that for all her faults, she does care for her daughter and wants her to become a better person then she is. Perhaps she also began to have a change of heart while in prison. And Isabella, she ran away via a female knight, whom is is a secret lesbian relationship with Isabella. Anyway, this knight, was able to catch wind of the invasion somehow(still working on that part), and was trying to get Isabella to safety.
In the end, the planned climax is for the players to confront Nikolai at the capital city... as it's under attack by Baalzebul's armies... as he's preparing to sacrifice Catherine and reveals the truth to Isabella, hoping she will side with him. But Isabella, is instead horrified by what her father has done, and refuses to join him. Whatever humanity Nikolai has left, dies then and there, and he attempts to kill his own daughter. After a boss battle, Nikolai is slain, and with Catherine and Isabella still alive, Baalzebul claims Nikolai's soul as payment, and he's dragged kicking and screaming to Maladomini. In order to atone for her part in all this, Catherine renounces her titles and joins the church, and Isabella, is crowned Queen.
"Woe Be Gone" Where all the bards have high strength, all the fighters have high charisma, and all the wizards' stats are above 10.
Is that sarcasm or genuine?
It's a reference to famous Minnesotan Garrison Keillor. He tells stories about the fictional town of Lake Wobegone, MN, "Where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking and all the children are above average."
As a wink to it's origin: The name Minnesota comes from the Dakota tribe's word for the Minnesota River, mnisota, meaning “cloudy, muddy water” or “sky-tinted water.”
After reading the story, I have a couple of things to say about it. It has interesting ideas, and there's certainly no shortage of creativity there, but there's one fatal flaw. The plot is so filled with backstabbing and treachery, it actively harms my enjoyment. The characters just kind of act with nothing but hostility, making it hard to get invested seriously. What you need is some sort of handhold for audiences to grab onto, so to speak.
There are a number of ways that handhold can manifest. One thing you can do is just double down, filling your campaign with psychopathic jokes and edgy humor until what you have is a murderous mess you and your friends can laugh at for a couple of evenings. Alternatively, you can take a page out of Disturbed's book. Keep the story the same, and just hope that enough excellent acting, poetry, combat design and improvisation will allow your players to get invested in the story, accepting the immensely dark tone that would otherwise be too much. I wouldn't recommend this though, it's way harder than it looks.
Personally, I'd focus more on Nikolai's descent into madness than on all the other intrigue and devil stuff. Just completely cut out everything else, except Catherine, Isabella, and perhaps some other characters and plot points if you deem them necessary. I have an example for how you could do this below, interpreting the story as a tragic narrative, but now I realise it might be too real for a D&D campaign. Whatever, I'll just share it anyways.
At first, Nikolai is a noble-hearted man with an eccentric flare. He wants everyone to know his name, though he doesn't let this interfere with the rest of his life... For now. Catherine, his wife, loves him very much, but has concerns. "He's got his head up his own behind, at least a little" she says. After his daughter Isabella is born, Nikolai becomes frustrated that everyone focuses on her instead of him. He copes by mentally convincing himself that Isabella is an extension of him, so he can still feel like he's in the spotlight. This has a side effect of splitting open a gigantic rift between them. Nikolai pampers Isabella with expensive gifts and the like, but never seems to care about her as a person. This goes on for a while, Catherine quickly noticing Nikolai's dismissal of Isabella, and then Isabella herself. Swept under the rug unceremoniously, a bitter resentment forms between Nikolai and his daughter, and by extension between him and Catherine, growing day by day.
Now the players arrive, specifically at a dinner party to celebrate the kingdom's recent victory over some distant empire. Nikolai is beaming and shaking hands throughout, but with a successful Wisdom(Insight) check, the players can clearly tell his smile is forced. Halfway through, Isabella finally snaps. All the words and emotions she's been holding inside for 15 years at this point tumble out at once in a storm of angered shouting, specifically directed at her father. Nikolai says nothing. He simply walks away.
For the rest of the campaign he is the antagonist, a spiteful narcissist focused only on hurting those he perceives to have "wronged him" with no regard for morality. He forms an armed militia group, renaming himself to "Nikolai Althiron" and basically disowning himself from the rest of the royal family. The damage he does to his kingdom is terrifying to behold, and his minions pursue the heroes mercilessly throughout. Not the slightest bit do the consequences this has for his kingdom bother him, only his twisted agenda matters now.
It's your choice, though. You don't have to change anything if you don't want to, these are just my thoughts.
Ah yes, I should probably give you a suggestion for a title as well. As it stands, I think "The War that Never Ended" would do. If you take my suggestion for the story, that wouldn't fit particularly well though.
After reading the story, I have a couple of things to say about it. It has interesting ideas, and there's certainly no shortage of creativity there, but there's one fatal flaw. The plot is so filled with backstabbing and treachery, it actively harms my enjoyment. The characters just kind of act with nothing but hostility, making it hard to get invested seriously. What you need is some sort of handhold for audiences to grab onto, so to speak.
There are a number of ways that handhold can manifest. One thing you can do is just double down, filling your campaign with psychopathic jokes and edgy humor until what you have is a murderous mess you and your friends can laugh at for a couple of evenings. Alternatively, you can take a page out of Disturbed's book. Keep the story the same, and just hope that enough excellent acting, poetry, combat design and improvisation will allow your players to get invested in the story, accepting the immensely dark tone that would otherwise be too much. I wouldn't recommend this though, it's way harder than it looks.
Personally, I'd focus more on Nikolai's descent into madness than on all the other intrigue and devil stuff. Just completely cut out everything else, except Catherine, Isabella, and perhaps some other characters and plot points if you deem them necessary. I have an example for how you could do this below, interpreting the story as a tragic narrative, but now I realise it might be too real for a D&D campaign. Whatever, I'll just share it anyways.
At first, Nikolai is a noble-hearted man with an eccentric flare. He wants everyone to know his name, though he doesn't let this interfere with the rest of his life... For now. Catherine, his wife, loves him very much, but has concerns. "He's got his head up his own behind, at least a little" she says. After his daughter Isabella is born, Nikolai becomes frustrated that everyone focuses on her instead of him. He copes by mentally convincing himself that Isabella is an extension of him, so he can still feel like he's in the spotlight. This has a side effect of splitting open a gigantic rift between them. Nikolai pampers Isabella with expensive gifts and the like, but never seems to care about her as a person. This goes on for a while, Catherine quickly noticing Nikolai's dismissal of Isabella, and then Isabella herself. Swept under the rug unceremoniously, a bitter resentment forms between Nikolai and his daughter, and by extension between him and Catherine, growing day by day.
Now the players arrive, specifically at a dinner party to celebrate the kingdom's recent victory over some distant empire. Nikolai is beaming and shaking hands throughout, but with a successful Wisdom(Insight) check, the players can clearly tell his smile is forced. Halfway through, Isabella finally snaps. All the words and emotions she's been holding inside for 15 years at this point tumble out at once in a storm of angered shouting, specifically directed at her father. Nikolai says nothing. He simply walks away.
For the rest of the campaign he is the antagonist, a spiteful narcissist focused only on hurting those he perceives to have "wronged him" with no regard for morality. He forms an armed militia group, renaming himself to "Nikolai Althiron" and basically disowning himself from the rest of the royal family. The damage he does to his kingdom is terrifying to behold, and his minions pursue the heroes mercilessly throughout. Not the slightest bit do the consequences this has for his kingdom bother him, only his twisted agenda matters now.
It's your choice, though. You don't have to change anything if you don't want to, these are just my thoughts.
Ah yes, I should probably give you a suggestion for a title as well. As it stands, I think "The War that Never Ended" would do. If you take my suggestion for the story, that wouldn't fit particularly well though.
That is something else I noticed in this campaign. I think that too much of story-telling in this modern-day world contains too much moral ambiguity or bias. Why not change some things up. You don't have to if your players seem to enjoy the concept.
After reading the story, I have a couple of things to say about it. It has interesting ideas, and there's certainly no shortage of creativity there, but there's one fatal flaw. The plot is so filled with backstabbing and treachery, it actively harms my enjoyment. The characters just kind of act with nothing but hostility, making it hard to get invested seriously. What you need is some sort of handhold for audiences to grab onto, so to speak.
There are a number of ways that handhold can manifest. One thing you can do is just double down, filling your campaign with psychopathic jokes and edgy humor until what you have is a murderous mess you and your friends can laugh at for a couple of evenings. Alternatively, you can take a page out of Disturbed's book. Keep the story the same, and just hope that enough excellent acting, poetry, combat design and improvisation will allow your players to get invested in the story, accepting the immensely dark tone that would otherwise be too much. I wouldn't recommend this though, it's way harder than it looks.
Personally, I'd focus more on Nikolai's descent into madness than on all the other intrigue and devil stuff. Just completely cut out everything else, except Catherine, Isabella, and perhaps some other characters and plot points if you deem them necessary. I have an example for how you could do this below, interpreting the story as a tragic narrative, but now I realise it might be too real for a D&D campaign. Whatever, I'll just share it anyways.
At first, Nikolai is a noble-hearted man with an eccentric flare. He wants everyone to know his name, though he doesn't let this interfere with the rest of his life... For now. Catherine, his wife, loves him very much, but has concerns. "He's got his head up his own behind, at least a little" she says. After his daughter Isabella is born, Nikolai becomes frustrated that everyone focuses on her instead of him. He copes by mentally convincing himself that Isabella is an extension of him, so he can still feel like he's in the spotlight. This has a side effect of splitting open a gigantic rift between them. Nikolai pampers Isabella with expensive gifts and the like, but never seems to care about her as a person. This goes on for a while, Catherine quickly noticing Nikolai's dismissal of Isabella, and then Isabella herself. Swept under the rug unceremoniously, a bitter resentment forms between Nikolai and his daughter, and by extension between him and Catherine, growing day by day.
Now the players arrive, specifically at a dinner party to celebrate the kingdom's recent victory over some distant empire. Nikolai is beaming and shaking hands throughout, but with a successful Wisdom(Insight) check, the players can clearly tell his smile is forced. Halfway through, Isabella finally snaps. All the words and emotions she's been holding inside for 15 years at this point tumble out at once in a storm of angered shouting, specifically directed at her father. Nikolai says nothing. He simply walks away.
For the rest of the campaign he is the antagonist, a spiteful narcissist focused only on hurting those he perceives to have "wronged him" with no regard for morality. He forms an armed militia group, renaming himself to "Nikolai Althiron" and basically disowning himself from the rest of the royal family. The damage he does to his kingdom is terrifying to behold, and his minions pursue the heroes mercilessly throughout. Not the slightest bit do the consequences this has for his kingdom bother him, only his twisted agenda matters now.
It's your choice, though. You don't have to change anything if you don't want to, these are just my thoughts.
Ah yes, I should probably give you a suggestion for a title as well. As it stands, I think "The War that Never Ended" would do. If you take my suggestion for the story, that wouldn't fit particularly well though.
After reading the story, I have a couple of things to say about it. It has interesting ideas, and there's certainly no shortage of creativity there, but there's one fatal flaw. The plot is so filled with backstabbing and treachery, it actively harms my enjoyment. The characters just kind of act with nothing but hostility, making it hard to get invested seriously. What you need is some sort of handhold for audiences to grab onto, so to speak.
There are a number of ways that handhold can manifest. One thing you can do is just double down, filling your campaign with psychopathic jokes and edgy humor until what you have is a murderous mess you and your friends can laugh at for a couple of evenings. Alternatively, you can take a page out of Disturbed's book. Keep the story the same, and just hope that enough excellent acting, poetry, combat design and improvisation will allow your players to get invested in the story, accepting the immensely dark tone that would otherwise be too much. I wouldn't recommend this though, it's way harder than it looks.
Personally, I'd focus more on Nikolai's descent into madness than on all the other intrigue and devil stuff. Just completely cut out everything else, except Catherine, Isabella, and perhaps some other characters and plot points if you deem them necessary. I have an example for how you could do this below, interpreting the story as a tragic narrative, but now I realise it might be too real for a D&D campaign. Whatever, I'll just share it anyways.
At first, Nikolai is a noble-hearted man with an eccentric flare. He wants everyone to know his name, though he doesn't let this interfere with the rest of his life... For now. Catherine, his wife, loves him very much, but has concerns. "He's got his head up his own behind, at least a little" she says. After his daughter Isabella is born, Nikolai becomes frustrated that everyone focuses on her instead of him. He copes by mentally convincing himself that Isabella is an extension of him, so he can still feel like he's in the spotlight. This has a side effect of splitting open a gigantic rift between them. Nikolai pampers Isabella with expensive gifts and the like, but never seems to care about her as a person. This goes on for a while, Catherine quickly noticing Nikolai's dismissal of Isabella, and then Isabella herself. Swept under the rug unceremoniously, a bitter resentment forms between Nikolai and his daughter, and by extension between him and Catherine, growing day by day.
Now the players arrive, specifically at a dinner party to celebrate the kingdom's recent victory over some distant empire. Nikolai is beaming and shaking hands throughout, but with a successful Wisdom(Insight) check, the players can clearly tell his smile is forced. Halfway through, Isabella finally snaps. All the words and emotions she's been holding inside for 15 years at this point tumble out at once in a storm of angered shouting, specifically directed at her father. Nikolai says nothing. He simply walks away.
For the rest of the campaign he is the antagonist, a spiteful narcissist focused only on hurting those he perceives to have "wronged him" with no regard for morality. He forms an armed militia group, renaming himself to "Nikolai Althiron" and basically disowning himself from the rest of the royal family. The damage he does to his kingdom is terrifying to behold, and his minions pursue the heroes mercilessly throughout. Not the slightest bit do the consequences this has for his kingdom bother him, only his twisted agenda matters now.
It's your choice, though. You don't have to change anything if you don't want to, these are just my thoughts.
Ah yes, I should probably give you a suggestion for a title as well. As it stands, I think "The War that Never Ended" would do. If you take my suggestion for the story, that wouldn't fit particularly well though.
That is something else I noticed in this campaign. I think that too much of story-telling in this modern-day world contains too much moral ambiguity or bias. Why not change some things up. You don't have to if your players seem to enjoy the concept.
Well, I mean the characters in the campaign that's been described don't seem to have any real sense of a moral compass. It's all filled with betrayal, treachery, and overall, very negative. If you like that kind of story that's fine. But in my opinion it'd be best to tone it down just a smidge.
Before we begin, I want to point out that though this setting is not part of any official D&D setting, it does have the Gods, Demons, and Devils, of the Forgotten Realms. Also, this is all work in progress. Any suggestions for improvement are welcome.
Our story is set in a homebrew Kingdom, based on my home state of Minnesota. 20 years ago, the Kingdom of Minnesota emerged victorious in a bloody war for independence from the Empire of Enroth... but the victory came at a price. Emperor Roland, of the Empire, reluctantly agreed to acknowledge Minnesota as a soverign nation, and King Archibald of Minnesota, as it's sovereign monarch who would not answer to him... under one condition. Archibald's shy and bookish son, Prince Nikolai, would wed Roland's spoiled and bad tempered daughter, Princess Catherine, when the two came of age. Despite protests from nobles and commoners, Minnesota could not afford to fight a Enrothian counter invasion, too many men and money had been lost in the war. So, despite suspecting an ulterior motive and protests, Archibald agreed to the terms. And the Prince and Princess were wed as soon as they came of age.
As you can imagine, Nikolai and Catherine, did not get along at all. They argued constantly over everything, and she abused him in every way you can imagine. Despite their mutual resentment of eachother, they did successfully produce an heir, Princess Isabella. But two month's before the campaign starts, Catherine learned her husband was cheating on her. Enraged, she hired an assassin to kill Nikolai, but the attempt failed when a spy loyal to the Prince, was able to warn Nikolai, and the assassin was killed. Nikolai, finally having had enough of his hated wife, went to the church to annul the marriage. But the Archbishop was loyal to the King, and reported this to Archibald. Archibald, was furious at his son jeopardizing the treaty with Enroth, and had both his son and daughter-in law imprisoned and disinherited, and named his granddaughter, his heir.
But shortly after that, Archibald changed his mind, and had Nikolai freed and reinstated as Crown Prince. Shortly after that, Isabella's 17th birthday arrived, and Nikolai prepared the best party he could afford. And that's where the players show up, either as guests or servants, at Isabella's birthday party. Most of the event is intrigue, festivities, and learning of the big names in Minnesota's system... and uncovering a poisoned drink in the kitchen, but there's no trail. After the toast at the feast, or the PC's make the poisoned drink public, a prison guard arrives with unexpected news... Catherine, somehow escaped from prison. Any investigations of the dungeon leave to trails to follow. If the players DON'T find the poisoned drink at the party though, they do find the drink in her prison food to be poisoned. The following morning, more dire news shows up. Archibald, died in his sleep. And if the players investigate his body, they lesarn he was poisoned... by the same poison they found earlier. Isabella, has vanished, but there are no signs of a break in or struggle in her chambers, and the Kingdom is under attack by armies of monsters and undead... and their banners are the mark of Baalzebul, One of the Archdevils of the 9 Hells, and Archduke of Maladomini, the seventh Hell. Nikolai is quickly crowned King, and suspects that Catherine's escape, Isabella's dissapearance, and the invasion are all connected. He thinks Catherine made a deal with Baalzebul, and sends the players to find his wife and daughter.
More much of the campaign, the players are lead to think that Catherine indeed, made a deal with Baalzebul. But at some point, after fighting monsters, exploring the wilds, saving lives learning more about this invasion and braving dark dungeons, the plot twists. In a twist of fate, Nikolai, was the one who made the deal. Finally snapping in prison, and vowing revenge on everyone who has ruined his life, Nikolai made a pact with Baalzebul. If Baalzebul would help him regain his position as Crown Prince, and help him get revenge on his father and wife, AND turn Minnesota into the most powerful Empire in the world, he would give Baalzebul, their souls as payment, and make Basalzebul, the God of the new Minnesotan religion. Baalzebul, accepted Nikolai's offer, and planted the idea into Archibald's head to release his son. The initial plan, was to poison them as Isabella's birthday party. The poisoned drink the players found, was meant for Catherine, to be delivered to her cell. And Archibald, was poisoned before the party began, as it kills the victim in their sleep. But since Catherine escaped, Nikolai had failed to deliver the souls at the appointed deadline. Archdevils don't like it when their clients fail, default, back out, or try to cheat their way out of a deal. And what Nikolai didn't know, was that there was a clause in their deal that stated that if he failed, defaulted, backed out, or tried to cheat in the deal, Baalzebul would be authorized to take custody of the souls himself by any means he deems necessary... no matter how many corpses he has to make.
And Nikolai's plan was to try and salvage the situation by having the players bring him Catherine, so he could sacrifice her to appease Baalzebul so he'd call off the invasion. The two Princesses, I'm still trying to figure how Catherine escaped, but I've decided to reveal that for all her faults, she does care for her daughter and wants her to become a better person then she is. Perhaps she also began to have a change of heart while in prison. And Isabella, she ran away via a female knight, whom is is a secret lesbian relationship with Isabella. Anyway, this knight, was able to catch wind of the invasion somehow(still working on that part), and was trying to get Isabella to safety.
In the end, the planned climax is for the players to confront Nikolai at the capital city... as it's under attack by Baalzebul's armies... as he's preparing to sacrifice Catherine and reveals the truth to Isabella, hoping she will side with him. But Isabella, is instead horrified by what her father has done, and refuses to join him. Whatever humanity Nikolai has left, dies then and there, and he attempts to kill his own daughter. After a boss battle, Nikolai is slain, and with Catherine and Isabella still alive, Baalzebul claims Nikolai's soul as payment, and he's dragged kicking and screaming to Maladomini. In order to atone for her part in all this, Catherine renounces her titles and joins the church, and Isabella, is crowned Queen.
Any good names in mind?
"Woe Be Gone" Where all the bards have high strength, all the fighters have high charisma, and all the wizards' stats are above 10.
https://sayeth.itch.io/
Is that sarcasm or genuine?
Minesota's Warriors and Wizards?
#NikiFem
I am the REAL Slim Shady.
It's a reference to famous Minnesotan Garrison Keillor. He tells stories about the fictional town of Lake Wobegone, MN, "Where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking and all the children are above average."
https://sayeth.itch.io/
DAKOTA
As a wink to it's origin: The name Minnesota comes from the Dakota tribe's word for the Minnesota River, mnisota, meaning “cloudy, muddy water” or “sky-tinted water.”
Campaigny McCampaignface.
The obligatory internet response.
After reading the story, I have a couple of things to say about it. It has interesting ideas, and there's certainly no shortage of creativity there, but there's one fatal flaw. The plot is so filled with backstabbing and treachery, it actively harms my enjoyment. The characters just kind of act with nothing but hostility, making it hard to get invested seriously. What you need is some sort of handhold for audiences to grab onto, so to speak.
There are a number of ways that handhold can manifest. One thing you can do is just double down, filling your campaign with psychopathic jokes and edgy humor until what you have is a murderous mess you and your friends can laugh at for a couple of evenings. Alternatively, you can take a page out of Disturbed's book. Keep the story the same, and just hope that enough excellent acting, poetry, combat design and improvisation will allow your players to get invested in the story, accepting the immensely dark tone that would otherwise be too much. I wouldn't recommend this though, it's way harder than it looks.
Personally, I'd focus more on Nikolai's descent into madness than on all the other intrigue and devil stuff. Just completely cut out everything else, except Catherine, Isabella, and perhaps some other characters and plot points if you deem them necessary. I have an example for how you could do this below, interpreting the story as a tragic narrative, but now I realise it might be too real for a D&D campaign. Whatever, I'll just share it anyways.
It's your choice, though. You don't have to change anything if you don't want to, these are just my thoughts.
Ah yes, I should probably give you a suggestion for a title as well. As it stands, I think "The War that Never Ended" would do. If you take my suggestion for the story, that wouldn't fit particularly well though.
That is something else I noticed in this campaign. I think that too much of story-telling in this modern-day world contains too much moral ambiguity or bias. Why not change some things up. You don't have to if your players seem to enjoy the concept.
#NikiFem
I am the REAL Slim Shady.
It lacks a understandable motive though.
What do you mean?
Well, I mean the characters in the campaign that's been described don't seem to have any real sense of a moral compass. It's all filled with betrayal, treachery, and overall, very negative. If you like that kind of story that's fine. But in my opinion it'd be best to tone it down just a smidge.
(Reply to comment above)
#NikiFem
I am the REAL Slim Shady.