Hello D&D community!

This is my first post here in the forums. I am looking for some ideas on how to handle a certain situation and was hoping maybe others have been in this or a similar situation before.

My mother had a stroke and while she is doing very well in regards to her recovery, she also has some issues regarding memory problems. I got a group of my friends to come to my house and play D&D together so that I could be home with her and I also thought that it would be a good mental exercise for her to have her play with us.

However, I have discovered that she feels stressed and embarrassed when she plays because she can't remember what is happening from one round to the next and she feels the game is too complicated for her so she doesn't know what to do on her turn.

I am trying to think of a way that maybe I can still include her in the game but not have so much pressure on her. I want her to be able to enjoy the game and right now she just isn't enjoying it. Any ideas or tips would be most appreciated.

Thank you,

Jake

Simplify everything. Give a short recap on whatever it is that's happening then ask what she wants to do. Even if it's not correct, just go with it. Have her roll some dice if she likes it or thinks she should. Not that you should ignore her choice, just make it fit the sit.

As a GM, regardless of attention span, I always give a short (10 - 20 second) recap at the start of each player's turn during combat. It sets the stage for them and lets them have all the pertinent information they need. 

One thing I'd recommend is take a more hands-on approach with her character. Learn her character's class and racial features as much as you would one of your own characters. Emphasize to her to not worry about the rules, that you'll help her there. Then on her turn, summarize what is going on around her, and then ask her what she'd like to do. Then no matter what she says, encourage it and come up with a way to translate that to a mechanic.

If the openness of the question overwhelms her, narrow it down. Ask her things like "Would you like to attack, run away or help someone?" Then with your understanding of her character ask another question. You want to help someone? Awesome, would you like to cast a friendly spell or aid them by distracting an enemy? 

I'd also make sure you, or none of the other players, ever display exasperation during her turns. That may seem like a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised how some players make get annoyed when another player is taking a long time and they just want to get to their turn so everyone sees how "awesome" they are...

Don't ditch the idea man, you're right to make her do mental exercise to recover.

Talk about it with the others, to see if they have a probleme with it, if they don't discuss about it with your Mom when you're all aroudn the table, if everyone says that it doesn't bother them, she will be reassured, and if she's apolegetic, simply tell her that there is no problem and that you have all the time you need.

I knew someone in the same situation, my familly works on markets, Food truck style, fries, waffles, etc, and one of our new employees had like a month before a Thrombosis, but she din't say because she needed the job, wich honestly you could'nt really tell she had, and personaly it din't bother me much.

Now we don't have a cash register, we do everything by head, so of course because of what she had gone through, it was difficult for her, and she would ask me or the other guys to make the math for her, at first, since i saw that many many times, i though she just wasn't good at mental maths, so i did it for her as the others did when we could.

But sometimes you've got your clients to tend for and other stuff to do, you can't be next to her everytime, so after a while when she asked me " so for the lady here she had 2 fries, 2 hot dogs, so how much is it?" and i just would look back at her and answer" ...well how much is it?", the first time she was kinda puzzled, i simply told her that at one point she sould do it herself cause we cannot do it for her every time, and that the Brains like a muscle, you need to use it to strengthen it( cliché i know).

But all this while not knowing that she had a Thrombosis a few weeks/month before, but she did it, at first it was complicated and i had to correct her a few times, but since i'm a patient dude, and there was no reason for me to get angry at her, since apart from that she was doing a great job, things got pretty smooth after ward.

This story took place 10 years ago, and that woman still come to work for me, and its only like last year that she told me that at the time she had a Thrombosis before, but sicne she needed a job she din't say anything, and that it was why she had a hard time making the mental maths, but thanks to how i did it, and the patience i had with her, after a while she recovered, because the mental exercise was what she needed to recover, and that she was thankfull to me.

So don't abbandon what you're doing mate, it will pay off and help your Mom.

Thank you guys so much for all your help! I appreciate it! I will keep these things in mind as I try to help her through it.