I have just noticed this about myself as a player. Even when I want to play a good character, I always end up being evil.
It takes a conscious effort to be the god guy, to make the good choices.
Sometimes, my characters just have an outburst of "screw it I'm kicking the chicken" and sometimes it's a slow decline. Other times my characters are persuaded or enticed and it doesn't take much.
I never actually play as molevelant but I always seem to end up being malign. It's like my nature - as a player, to just be evil and yet, if you were to ask my characters what they thought of themselves, they would probably describe themselves as good people who follow the rules and laws of.society.
And yet ... And yet ... The things I do in charactee might be lawdul, but they are seldom good.
Has anyone else noticed this about their play styles - is this normal or am I just a freak?
What exactly is your character doing that is evil? Picking pockets? Plucking innocent chickens alive (I have a true story about that - not me)? Murder hobo?
I once had a character who plucked a feather from a raven but that's besides the point. My characters always end up making the evil choices.
The choices they make, might not be out and out evil but they are the evil option.
For example:. If you need to aquire information from somebody and there's two options, buy it, or steal it - my character would opt to steal it because it will save us some gold.
When it's pointed out that the person we stole it from could have us thrown in jail, my characters would respond with something like "come on, who do you think the inquisitor will believe? A low life nobody, or us - the heroes of Shadowdale?
Then like the actual evil character would be all like "we could just kill him and be done with it" and instead of saying no, no killing an innocent person my character is like "we'd have to make sure we killed the right person though and there was no witnesses"
Then rogue assassin points out that this guy has a wanted poster up on the board and he is "wanted dead or alive" and the rest of the party just stares and watches the Paladin make a plan with the Rogue to steal the information and kill the one who has it and then trade his corpse for the bounty.
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A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
Sounds like a character that could pass for neutral or chaotic neutral and leans slightly evil. A character that doesn't really consider right or wrong, but does what is most convenient for them. "Pay or steal?" If we get away with stealling, I will have lost nothing. "Kill?" I don't gain from it, more trouble than it is worth. "He has a bounty." So we can kill him, steal what we're after, and get a reward, win-win.
It's possible you just normally play very pragmatic characters, and since practicality and morality don't always mix well, if the pragmatism is stronger than the moral code, you'll always end being rather morally ambiguous.
Plus if you have straight up evil party members than you and your character can look at them and think your character is fine compared to them.
I think it's the nature of RPGs, actually. You're disassociated from reality (by nature of the game) so don't 'feel' the morality like we do IRL (people who don't do that are sociopaths). As others have said, it becomes a matter of pragmatism.
You don't have to answer this... but does the way your character makes choices reflect your own view of morality and ethics? I am NOT sayng you're a murder hobo IRL! But on the scale of moral objectivism, utilitarianism, etc., where do you sit? It might help explain why your character is like that - you're floating to your own moral decision making process, but with the added effects of a game.
I once had a character who plucked a feather from a raven but that's besides the point. My characters always end up making the evil choices.
The choices they make, might not be out and out evil but they are the evil option.
For example:. If you need to aquire information from somebody and there's two options, buy it, or steal it - my character would opt to steal it because it will save us some gold.
When it's pointed out that the person we stole it from could have us thrown in jail, my characters would respond with something like "come on, who do you think the inquisitor will believe? A low life nobody, or us - the heroes of Shadowdale?
Then like the actual evil character would be all like "we could just kill him and be done with it" and instead of saying no, no killing an innocent person my character is like "we'd have to make sure we killed the right person though and there was no witnesses"
Then rogue assassin points out that this guy has a wanted poster up on the board and he is "wanted dead or alive" and the rest of the party just stares and watches the Paladin make a plan with the Rogue to steal the information and kill the one who has it and then trade his corpse for the bounty.
Thats not been evil, thats been cynical and pragmatic...
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"Normality is but an Illusion, Whats normal to the Spider, is only madness for the Fly"
Your character is Neutral, he is making the best decisions he can on what he needs. Just read the description of Neutral, I really like that alignment lets you do a lot of stuff. Your not evil you just have that Pragmatic attitude to life.
Neutral (N) is the alignment of those who prefer to steer clear of moral questions and don’t take sides, doing what seems best at the time. Lizardfolk, most druids, and many humans are neutral.
A few ideas, just to continue discussion and may nit directly relate to OP
1 - It's easier to be evil. It's easier to make choices that only benefit your PC instead of party and easier to make choices that benefit your party over the world/community. You don't feel connected to the world - it's like playing a video game with no consequences for being a murder hobo. The Dark Side is the easy path to power.
2 - You're sadist and just like to make (virtual) people or maybe you fear/scared/feel powerless in RL and use RPGs to feel in control and powerful.
3 - You have a weak DM that allows for murder hobos to flourish. DMs could introduce bounty hunters, wronged thieves guilds, holy paladin/church orders, etc. PCs could be brought to justice.
I have just noticed this about myself as a player. Even when I want to play a good character, I always end up being evil.
It takes a conscious effort to be the god guy, to make the good choices.
Sometimes, my characters just have an outburst of "screw it I'm kicking the chicken" and sometimes it's a slow decline. Other times my characters are persuaded or enticed and it doesn't take much.
I never actually play as molevelant but I always seem to end up being malign. It's like my nature - as a player, to just be evil and yet, if you were to ask my characters what they thought of themselves, they would probably describe themselves as good people who follow the rules and laws of.society.
And yet ... And yet ... The things I do in charactee might be lawdul, but they are seldom good.
Has anyone else noticed this about their play styles - is this normal or am I just a freak?
A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
Look up the total depravity of man as a possible explanation.
It feels so good to be bad?
What exactly is your character doing that is evil? Picking pockets? Plucking innocent chickens alive (I have a true story about that - not me)? Murder hobo?
I once had a character who plucked a feather from a raven but that's besides the point. My characters always end up making the evil choices.
The choices they make, might not be out and out evil but they are the evil option.
For example:. If you need to aquire information from somebody and there's two options, buy it, or steal it - my character would opt to steal it because it will save us some gold.
When it's pointed out that the person we stole it from could have us thrown in jail, my characters would respond with something like "come on, who do you think the inquisitor will believe? A low life nobody, or us - the heroes of Shadowdale?
Then like the actual evil character would be all like "we could just kill him and be done with it" and instead of saying no, no killing an innocent person my character is like "we'd have to make sure we killed the right person though and there was no witnesses"
Then rogue assassin points out that this guy has a wanted poster up on the board and he is "wanted dead or alive" and the rest of the party just stares and watches the Paladin make a plan with the Rogue to steal the information and kill the one who has it and then trade his corpse for the bounty.
A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
Sounds like a character that could pass for neutral or chaotic neutral and leans slightly evil. A character that doesn't really consider right or wrong, but does what is most convenient for them. "Pay or steal?" If we get away with stealling, I will have lost nothing. "Kill?" I don't gain from it, more trouble than it is worth. "He has a bounty." So we can kill him, steal what we're after, and get a reward, win-win.
It's possible you just normally play very pragmatic characters, and since practicality and morality don't always mix well, if the pragmatism is stronger than the moral code, you'll always end being rather morally ambiguous.
Plus if you have straight up evil party members than you and your character can look at them and think your character is fine compared to them.
I think it's the nature of RPGs, actually. You're disassociated from reality (by nature of the game) so don't 'feel' the morality like we do IRL (people who don't do that are sociopaths). As others have said, it becomes a matter of pragmatism.
You don't have to answer this... but does the way your character makes choices reflect your own view of morality and ethics? I am NOT sayng you're a murder hobo IRL! But on the scale of moral objectivism, utilitarianism, etc., where do you sit? It might help explain why your character is like that - you're floating to your own moral decision making process, but with the added effects of a game.
Thats not been evil, thats been cynical and pragmatic...
"Normality is but an Illusion, Whats normal to the Spider, is only madness for the Fly"
Kain de Frostberg- Dark Knight - (Vengeance Pal3/ Hexblade 9), Port Mourn
Kain de Draakberg-Dark Knight lvl8-Avergreen(DitA)
Your character is Neutral, he is making the best decisions he can on what he needs. Just read the description of Neutral, I really like that alignment lets you do a lot of stuff. Your not evil you just have that Pragmatic attitude to life.
Neutral (N) is the alignment of those who prefer to steer clear of moral questions and don’t take sides, doing what seems best at the time. Lizardfolk, most druids, and many humans are neutral.
A few ideas, just to continue discussion and may nit directly relate to OP
1 - It's easier to be evil. It's easier to make choices that only benefit your PC instead of party and easier to make choices that benefit your party over the world/community. You don't feel connected to the world - it's like playing a video game with no consequences for being a murder hobo. The Dark Side is the easy path to power.
2 - You're sadist and just like to make (virtual) people or maybe you fear/scared/feel powerless in RL and use RPGs to feel in control and powerful.
3 - You have a weak DM that allows for murder hobos to flourish. DMs could introduce bounty hunters, wronged thieves guilds, holy paladin/church orders, etc. PCs could be brought to justice.