I have been playing for a year now with a bunch of people that never played before. We started with Lost Mines and last week we ended the module.
I was a bit pissed about something and I decided to have a peek behind the curtain. I read the guide. That pissed me off even more because now I have the feeling that my DM changed things that effected me in negative ways.
So I decided to tell him in our group app how I felt. He said that he ****ed up at times and ****ed up again trying to correct things. I don't mind , because that goes for all of us.
He altered/ expanded the story a little bit to his liking, but I think that some of the stuff is not fair:
Black Spider sweet talked the party to not kill him. Our party kinda agreed to kill him, he is the endboss afterall. One player was afraid of having his character killed and had ears for doing quests for Black Spider. I asked the party to discuss outside of the room what the hell was going on. We didn't need to discuss any further, because Black Spider magically disappeared before that. I feel that DM interveined in a 2 versus 1 vote on killing the frikkin' endboss of a campaign we played for a year!
I placed my mainhand weapon on the Forge, received the temporary +1. Did it again with my offhand, forge consumes my weap and explodes. This was one hour after I said outloud (yes, I'm an idiot) that I should have had back up weapons. Week before I wanted to get my weapons silverplated, we knew that next day we would go to Wave Cave. DM decided that it would take a week to do that. It didn't came up to me until start of new session to buy backup weaps and let them be silverplated. Especially since I'm a rogue and my offhand is pretty needed to land sneak attack after a failed mainhand attack. I also brought up that it is strange for a starterbox to have no good magical stuff for a rogue before this happened (Yeah WOtC, what's up with that?) Cleric and Wizard had some nice drops and backup weapons. Me, the idiot rogue, only had two swords. I felt really ****** just before the final battle against Black Spider.
Agatha froze me in time after I offered her my single goldpiece I owned. Because she doesn't like females as a banshee the DM said. I was the only female character. Rest of party followed soon, but I think we didn't do anything to disrespect her.
Venomfang attack my party, because my character walked sideways during a conversation. They all blamed me for this, especially because someone died. I argued that good folks don't attack people without a warning, just for moving.
To earn the trust of Halia and become Zhent, I had to give her a book that a party member owned and was very fond of. I ask that player and he says: "No, you can't have it." I told DM that my character doesn't steal. However I began to doubt myself, because the book was a flavor item. But I didn't want to deal with the consequences of a failed attempt and having to fight my party member perhaps. I told the DM he was setting me up for failure and it made me feel uncomfortable. Because I really wanted to become member, but still didn't want to become THAT rogue. Now I know that the Zhentarim quest and the book were added by the DM....
Halia (my master, friend, whatever) became hostile to us and we had to flee Phandalin, thus losing that village as our safe haven.
My little pony Waffles got attacked by a Redband Ruffian and injured so badly it would develop a limp, and a fear which comes out every time we would engage in combat. I decided it is better to put the pony down. Next pony I had to leave behind with rest of our animals after fleeing Phandalin. Our saddlebags and saddles or stuff in them got stolen twice. So after the end of the campaign I wrote a note to DM that someone I knew smuggled out our beasts and brought them to the inn our party would end up. DM said this couldn't happen. I called it lame to have something happen yet again to those animals.
As a party we always talked to bad guys first. We never attacked first. All (ten or so?) bosses that is! And our behaviour never got rewarded. So sometimes I "accidently" shot off an bolt to get things moving (never with the bosses though, after my moving fiasco) I started combat in Cragmore castle though because the dobbelganger was running away while there still was bartering going on between the king and a party member and I was sushed when I mentioned this. That was also the reason I didn't started the fight with Black Spider, I didn't want a TPK on my account.
The other players are easy going and mild towards all that happens. Down to earth and stuff. I talk a lot, and I can't change that while gaming. That's why I also chose a 17 yo swashbuckling rogue girl, to hide my own behaviour a little bit. So we pretty much ended up as ourselves in game. I don't want to spoil the players or the DMs fun. So am I too oversensitive? Am I disrupting the game? Or do I make a point here? I could use some advice :)
I think your concerns are valid, at least hearing it from your side, Fatimah. From the sound of it, the DM overextended himself and put too much pressure with various events and didn't listen to the concerns of you as a player.
As a DM, he needs to hear your critique of both the good and the bad points of the campaign, otherwise he wont' grow. But you should also, kindly, express concerns to the other players about how things effected you. This isn't selfish, what happens to you is valid even if no one else had fun. If even one player isn't having fun, there is a pproblem, no matter how many other players are having fun.
Honestly, if one of my players came to me and told me they'd read the module and started criticising me for **** ups I made along the way, I would probably not invite them back to my table. Sorry if that sounds harsh.
As a DM, yes we screw up all the time. As we get more comfortable, we find out that we have to change the module because the way it is written does not work for every group. We customise it for our group. But, we are trying to balance the story, roleplaying NPCs, combats, as well as trying to consider how our decisions are impacting every player at the table. It's impossible to make everyone happy.
Now, I can't say if your DM is singling you out or not, we're only hearing your brief side of the story of a year long campaign. He may have a DM vs Players mentality, but it's impossible to judge. What I do know is that your DM put in a lot of work to successfully run the campaign from start to finish, even trying to add his own plot hooks. That should be commended.
In future, if you are unhappy with something that happens at the table or with the campaign as a whole, I would discuss it away from the table with the DM at the time, so they know how you feel and can adjust their decisions/plot going forward. Communication is key to all of this, and calling them out for "bad decisions" is probably not the way to go.
@kerres: I have great respect for him for all the effort he put into all this.
@Morgoth: I know that criticism is difficult, especially when you poured all your heart into something and your player shits on your decisions. So if he doesn't want to play with me after these questions I'm fine with that. But everything happened already, so it is more asking why than anything else! I too invested a year in this campaign. Why can't I ask for the reasons things happened?
(question for you, as DM Morgoth: Why would you stop playing with me? you don't like being challenged? the DM's always right? If you have a good reason for something you did, me asking why shouldn't be a big deal. Even if you don't have a reason it should be fine. You tell me you didn't had a reason and my question is answered. The game is over, why keep a player in the dark if he is curious? Uninviting me from your table says more about you than about me.)
Prior to this I adressed things I didn't like in private. But I am also curious how the rest of the group feels about my grief. Why do things have to be discussed behind closed doors? Isn't it much stranger when we hide our disagreements for the others?
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I have been playing for a year now with a bunch of people that never played before.
We started with Lost Mines and last week we ended the module.
I was a bit pissed about something and I decided to have a peek behind the curtain. I read the guide.
That pissed me off even more because now I have the feeling that my DM changed things that effected me in negative ways.
So I decided to tell him in our group app how I felt.
He said that he ****ed up at times and ****ed up again trying to correct things.
I don't mind , because that goes for all of us.
He altered/ expanded the story a little bit to his liking, but I think that some of the stuff is not fair:
Black Spider sweet talked the party to not kill him. Our party kinda agreed to kill him, he is the endboss afterall.
One player was afraid of having his character killed and had ears for doing quests for Black Spider.
I asked the party to discuss outside of the room what the hell was going on.
We didn't need to discuss any further, because Black Spider magically disappeared before that.
I feel that DM interveined in a 2 versus 1 vote on killing the frikkin' endboss of a campaign we played for a year!
I placed my mainhand weapon on the Forge, received the temporary +1. Did it again with my offhand, forge consumes my weap and explodes.
This was one hour after I said outloud (yes, I'm an idiot) that I should have had back up weapons.
Week before I wanted to get my weapons silverplated, we knew that next day we would go to Wave Cave. DM decided that it would take a week to do that. It didn't came up to me until start of new session to buy backup weaps and let them be silverplated. Especially since I'm a rogue and my offhand is pretty needed to land sneak attack after a failed mainhand attack.
I also brought up that it is strange for a starterbox to have no good magical stuff for a rogue before this happened (Yeah WOtC, what's up with that?)
Cleric and Wizard had some nice drops and backup weapons. Me, the idiot rogue, only had two swords.
I felt really ****** just before the final battle against Black Spider.
Agatha froze me in time after I offered her my single goldpiece I owned. Because she doesn't like females as a banshee the DM said. I was the only female character. Rest of party followed soon, but I think we didn't do anything to disrespect her.
Venomfang attack my party, because my character walked sideways during a conversation. They all blamed me for this, especially because someone died. I argued that good folks don't attack people without a warning, just for moving.
To earn the trust of Halia and become Zhent, I had to give her a book that a party member owned and was very fond of. I ask that player and he says: "No, you can't have it."
I told DM that my character doesn't steal. However I began to doubt myself, because the book was a flavor item.
But I didn't want to deal with the consequences of a failed attempt and having to fight my party member perhaps.
I told the DM he was setting me up for failure and it made me feel uncomfortable.
Because I really wanted to become member, but still didn't want to become THAT rogue.
Now I know that the Zhentarim quest and the book were added by the DM....
Halia (my master, friend, whatever) became hostile to us and we had to flee Phandalin, thus losing that village as our safe haven.
My little pony Waffles got attacked by a Redband Ruffian and injured so badly it would develop a limp, and a fear which comes out every time we would engage in combat.
I decided it is better to put the pony down. Next pony I had to leave behind with rest of our animals after fleeing Phandalin. Our saddlebags and saddles or stuff in them got stolen twice.
So after the end of the campaign I wrote a note to DM that someone I knew smuggled out our beasts and brought them to the inn our party would end up.
DM said this couldn't happen. I called it lame to have something happen yet again to those animals.
As a party we always talked to bad guys first. We never attacked first. All (ten or so?) bosses that is! And our behaviour never got rewarded. So sometimes I "accidently" shot off an bolt to get things moving (never with the bosses though, after my moving fiasco) I started combat in Cragmore castle though because the dobbelganger was running away while there still was bartering going on between the king and a party member and I was sushed when I mentioned this.
That was also the reason I didn't started the fight with Black Spider, I didn't want a TPK on my account.
The other players are easy going and mild towards all that happens. Down to earth and stuff.
I talk a lot, and I can't change that while gaming. That's why I also chose a 17 yo swashbuckling rogue girl, to hide my own behaviour a little bit.
So we pretty much ended up as ourselves in game.
I don't want to spoil the players or the DMs fun.
So am I too oversensitive? Am I disrupting the game? Or do I make a point here?
I could use some advice :)
DM'ing is not easy, especially the first time.
Try to DM a short module, say the Essentials book, Dragon of Icespire Peak.
After you've had a run at being DM, revisit your Lost Mines campaign with fresh eyes.
I think your concerns are valid, at least hearing it from your side, Fatimah. From the sound of it, the DM overextended himself and put too much pressure with various events and didn't listen to the concerns of you as a player.
As a DM, he needs to hear your critique of both the good and the bad points of the campaign, otherwise he wont' grow. But you should also, kindly, express concerns to the other players about how things effected you. This isn't selfish, what happens to you is valid even if no one else had fun. If even one player isn't having fun, there is a pproblem, no matter how many other players are having fun.
Honestly, if one of my players came to me and told me they'd read the module and started criticising me for **** ups I made along the way, I would probably not invite them back to my table. Sorry if that sounds harsh.
As a DM, yes we screw up all the time. As we get more comfortable, we find out that we have to change the module because the way it is written does not work for every group. We customise it for our group. But, we are trying to balance the story, roleplaying NPCs, combats, as well as trying to consider how our decisions are impacting every player at the table. It's impossible to make everyone happy.
Now, I can't say if your DM is singling you out or not, we're only hearing your brief side of the story of a year long campaign. He may have a DM vs Players mentality, but it's impossible to judge. What I do know is that your DM put in a lot of work to successfully run the campaign from start to finish, even trying to add his own plot hooks. That should be commended.
In future, if you are unhappy with something that happens at the table or with the campaign as a whole, I would discuss it away from the table with the DM at the time, so they know how you feel and can adjust their decisions/plot going forward. Communication is key to all of this, and calling them out for "bad decisions" is probably not the way to go.
@kerres: I have great respect for him for all the effort he put into all this.
@Morgoth: I know that criticism is difficult, especially when you poured all your heart into something and your player shits on your decisions.
So if he doesn't want to play with me after these questions I'm fine with that.
But everything happened already, so it is more asking why than anything else!
I too invested a year in this campaign. Why can't I ask for the reasons things happened?
(question for you, as DM Morgoth: Why would you stop playing with me? you don't like being challenged? the DM's always right? If you have a good reason for something you did, me asking why shouldn't be a big deal. Even if you don't have a reason it should be fine. You tell me you didn't had a reason and my question is answered.
The game is over, why keep a player in the dark if he is curious?
Uninviting me from your table says more about you than about me.)
Prior to this I adressed things I didn't like in private. But I am also curious how the rest of the group feels about my grief. Why do things have to be discussed behind closed doors? Isn't it much stranger when we hide our disagreements for the others?