I thought I should post on here to get the perspective of parents on how they deal with the subject of controlled, legal substances in RPGs that they play along with their kids or someone else's kids.
The context in my own case is that I'm playing a Drunken Master Monk in a regular low level campaign with a group that is mostly strangers. One of the players is about 9 y/o. The rest are adults. I understand that the Drunken Master subclass doesn't have to imbibe or even touch alcohol for their abilities to work, but for this character (a former culinary guild flunk-out) it seems appropriate that she would drink alcohol sometimes to the point of inebriation.
Thoughts and questions appreciated from all, though I'm mostly looking to get first-person perspectives of adults who have raised children, whether their own or someone else's.
I don’t have any children, but I think that it’s a great opportunity to teach children responsible drinking. Instead of drinking a tavern dry, have a couple of drinks with your meal and then stop drinking. The in game reason is to not get so drunk that you’re vulnerable to the DM robbing you.
You could also just change the name/flavor of the class. Maybe something like Dizzy Fist Style or Sleepy Strike Style to make it 'kid friendly' instead of Drunken Master.
I also don't have children but I can see having a character whose flaw is drinking to excess could work both ways. Alcohol is technically a poisoned so it is RAW when you are drunk attack rolls and ability checks at disadvantage which is actually quite a good approximation of being drunk. Could be quite educational to him. 9 might be a bit young to understand the negative effects of alcohol however.
Is the one (or both) of the child's parents playing? If so I would try to speak to them to get their advice on how to deal with the issue.
I'd play the character exactly how it should be. Kids see people drinking in real life so why not play it out in the game? No different than a parent having a drink at home or on TV or in movies. So I don't see any problem playing that out. We have family gatherings and there's kids and people drinking. So no big deal having it in the game.
Could those commenters who have not already done so please say whether or not they themselves have raised children?
I don't have any currently but DM a game with an 11 year old and modify some things. For example, death instead results in being captured and having their gear stripped from them so they have to figure out a way to break free from the dungeon cell, if their dog dies it instead runs away and returns after a long rest or two, and any potentially questionable content is modified based on what her parent is okay with (so obviously no drugs/sex/gratuitous violence)
My son's too young for me to claim much parental experience, but I've run rpgs as part of a youth ministry (I'm a preacher), and I've run games as part of Boys & Girls Club. Our youngest consistent table is 8-13 years, with our oldest 14-18. I've probably run close to 100 kids through a semester or more of weekly playing, and it's never been an issue. That being said, I understand your caution, and I tend to think one should always have a policy in place. Checking with parents is always a good idea. Even if they aren't bothered, I would make a point of having the negative consequences of excessive drinking come up in game, and possibly point it out to the 9-year old. It doesn't have to be too preachy, it can even be part of a plot-hook. Really just occasionally mentioning "This is something you shouldn't do in real life, just like you shouldn't try to really stab someone with a sword." is probably enough.
On a side note; Where does the Drunken Master content come from? I was thinking about writing that up as a homebrew.
As the DM and sponsor of the PVMS D&D Club, I have had this come up more times than I can remember. I just either outright tell the player of the middle schooler that he or she is only 11-14 years old and that their character what ever age is not drinking alcohol (so no downing ale at the tavern and role playing drunk!) or that they encounter things that are "potent drink" or "Orc draught" and allow euphemism to take the place of name dropping alcohol. Other drug use is strictly a no go, I even omit smokers because school property is a no smoke or vape zone.
I assume this is a scenario of "nobody will babysit the 9 year old and I don't want to change my character"
I could change my character, sure. It's one of those circumstances where I get to test drive a character in a sub-class I haven't tried yet b/c it's a short campaign with a definite end time and Drunken Master is the one I'm most curious about. All the other low level Monk subclasses seem boring or at least too predictable to me at low levels. *shrug*
Well, the 9 y/o enjoys the game and is a regular. Not very keen on memorizing rules, but I don't hold that against a 9-year old. Other than that, I have no complaints against how the kid plays. It's a lot better, IMO, than having someone at the table who is only there to keep someone else company while not caring at all about the game or their character.
I think I'll bring up the matter w/ the DM first and see if he can facilitate some between-game communication so that it doesn't take up valuable table time.
The easiest thing you could do is just change the name if you're so concerned like I mentioned earlier. Just go from drunken fist to dizzy fist and everyone will still know what you're talking about without any potential conflict from the kid's parents.
Before you elect to play anything that has the potential to offend, discuss it with the group. If a member of the group is a minor, include their parent. If anyone objects, privately or publicly, adjust your approach to something non-offensive. If you're speaking with a parent that will not b there at the game, demo the discussion of the potentially offensive contact (away from the minor) and ask if they'd like you to record a session so they can listen to how it is used in actual play (assuming other players consent to being recoded as well).
When using potentially offensive material with this permission, start slow by allusion to it rather than just straight out describing it. Before evolving to describe it, checking in with folks to make sure it is ok.
In the end, there are thousands of really fun character concepts. If some offend, there are many more fish in the sea.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
D&D since 79. New to the Carolinas and looking for Gamers.
You could also just change the name/flavor of the class. Maybe something like Dizzy Fist Style or Sleepy Strike Style to make it 'kid friendly' instead of Drunken Master.
Yeah, it's not the name of the subclass that's the issue. A DM Monk mechanics do not need to involve alcohol whatsoever. It's about the actual role-playing of the character and how I am going to direct this PC's interactions with alcohol. My emphasis at table is coming up with believable characters who interact within the fantasy world in believable ways, not running an optimization exercise focused on killing monsters and taking their stuff. Of course I could just play a DM Monk without involving alcohol, but then that would be less fun for myself. I'm trying to negotiate a situation where everyone at the table and their respective legal guardians feel okay with the game without (best case scenario) me having to completely change my PC's background and concept too much.
I thought I should post on here to get the perspective of parents on how they deal with the subject of controlled, legal substances in RPGs that they play along with their kids or someone else's kids.
The context in my own case is that I'm playing a Drunken Master Monk in a regular low level campaign with a group that is mostly strangers. One of the players is about 9 y/o. The rest are adults. I understand that the Drunken Master subclass doesn't have to imbibe or even touch alcohol for their abilities to work, but for this character (a former culinary guild flunk-out) it seems appropriate that she would drink alcohol sometimes to the point of inebriation.
Thoughts and questions appreciated from all, though I'm mostly looking to get first-person perspectives of adults who have raised children, whether their own or someone else's.
I don’t have any children, but I think that it’s a great opportunity to teach children responsible drinking. Instead of drinking a tavern dry, have a couple of drinks with your meal and then stop drinking. The in game reason is to not get so drunk that you’re vulnerable to the DM robbing you.
Professional computer geek
You could also just change the name/flavor of the class. Maybe something like Dizzy Fist Style or Sleepy Strike Style to make it 'kid friendly' instead of Drunken Master.
I also don't have children but I can see having a character whose flaw is drinking to excess could work both ways. Alcohol is technically a poisoned so it is RAW when you are drunk attack rolls and ability checks at disadvantage which is actually quite a good approximation of being drunk. Could be quite educational to him. 9 might be a bit young to understand the negative effects of alcohol however.
Is the one (or both) of the child's parents playing? If so I would try to speak to them to get their advice on how to deal with the issue.
Ask the parent. Personally, I think alcohol in particular is a non-issue.
1) The kid's parents will tell you if it's OK or not.
2) You're going to run into more instances of this with a 9 year old at the table with a group of adults.
3) Why would you want to role play being a comedy alcoholic around a child? (Kids grow up and remember things.)
I'd play the character exactly how it should be. Kids see people drinking in real life so why not play it out in the game? No different than a parent having a drink at home or on TV or in movies. So I don't see any problem playing that out. We have family gatherings and there's kids and people drinking. So no big deal having it in the game.
Have six raised kids youngest is 17.
Could those commenters who have not already done so please say whether or not they themselves have raised children?
I don't have any currently but DM a game with an 11 year old and modify some things. For example, death instead results in being captured and having their gear stripped from them so they have to figure out a way to break free from the dungeon cell, if their dog dies it instead runs away and returns after a long rest or two, and any potentially questionable content is modified based on what her parent is okay with (so obviously no drugs/sex/gratuitous violence)
My son's too young for me to claim much parental experience, but I've run rpgs as part of a youth ministry (I'm a preacher), and I've run games as part of Boys & Girls Club. Our youngest consistent table is 8-13 years, with our oldest 14-18. I've probably run close to 100 kids through a semester or more of weekly playing, and it's never been an issue. That being said, I understand your caution, and I tend to think one should always have a policy in place. Checking with parents is always a good idea. Even if they aren't bothered, I would make a point of having the negative consequences of excessive drinking come up in game, and possibly point it out to the 9-year old. It doesn't have to be too preachy, it can even be part of a plot-hook. Really just occasionally mentioning "This is something you shouldn't do in real life, just like you shouldn't try to really stab someone with a sword." is probably enough.
On a side note; Where does the Drunken Master content come from? I was thinking about writing that up as a homebrew.
I have and have friends who are parents.
I assume this is a scenario of "nobody will babysit the 9 year old and I don't want to change my character"
Should be in Xanathar's Guide to Everything.
As the DM and sponsor of the PVMS D&D Club, I have had this come up more times than I can remember. I just either outright tell the player of the middle schooler that he or she is only 11-14 years old and that their character what ever age is not drinking alcohol (so no downing ale at the tavern and role playing drunk!) or that they encounter things that are "potent drink" or "Orc draught" and allow euphemism to take the place of name dropping alcohol. Other drug use is strictly a no go, I even omit smokers because school property is a no smoke or vape zone.
I could change my character, sure. It's one of those circumstances where I get to test drive a character in a sub-class I haven't tried yet b/c it's a short campaign with a definite end time and Drunken Master is the one I'm most curious about. All the other low level Monk subclasses seem boring or at least too predictable to me at low levels. *shrug*
Well, the 9 y/o enjoys the game and is a regular. Not very keen on memorizing rules, but I don't hold that against a 9-year old. Other than that, I have no complaints against how the kid plays. It's a lot better, IMO, than having someone at the table who is only there to keep someone else company while not caring at all about the game or their character.
I think I'll bring up the matter w/ the DM first and see if he can facilitate some between-game communication so that it doesn't take up valuable table time.
The easiest thing you could do is just change the name if you're so concerned like I mentioned earlier. Just go from drunken fist to dizzy fist and everyone will still know what you're talking about without any potential conflict from the kid's parents.
Before you elect to play anything that has the potential to offend, discuss it with the group. If a member of the group is a minor, include their parent. If anyone objects, privately or publicly, adjust your approach to something non-offensive. If you're speaking with a parent that will not b there at the game, demo the discussion of the potentially offensive contact (away from the minor) and ask if they'd like you to record a session so they can listen to how it is used in actual play (assuming other players consent to being recoded as well).
When using potentially offensive material with this permission, start slow by allusion to it rather than just straight out describing it. Before evolving to describe it, checking in with folks to make sure it is ok.
In the end, there are thousands of really fun character concepts. If some offend, there are many more fish in the sea.
D&D since 79. New to the Carolinas and looking for Gamers.
Yeah, it's not the name of the subclass that's the issue. A DM Monk mechanics do not need to involve alcohol whatsoever. It's about the actual role-playing of the character and how I am going to direct this PC's interactions with alcohol. My emphasis at table is coming up with believable characters who interact within the fantasy world in believable ways, not running an optimization exercise focused on killing monsters and taking their stuff. Of course I could just play a DM Monk without involving alcohol, but then that would be less fun for myself. I'm trying to negotiate a situation where everyone at the table and their respective legal guardians feel okay with the game without (best case scenario) me having to completely change my PC's background and concept too much.
If I ever DM for a group of under-18 gamers, I will keep that in mind, thanks, Hawksmoor.