I understand that this is a joke, but as such it belongs in Adohand's Kitchen.
The literal title is a joke, and one that's fun to play with; but it's also satire talking about a common player dilemma so I don't think it's off topic at all for General Discussion any more than the "how do I get started" or "how do I find a game" thread that pop up in this space regularly.
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Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
Not an ideal solution - but i've recently been playing solo D&D to scratch the player itch. Might be that, as others mentioned, not being completely new might help you chances? I find Solo fun and would help you get to grips with the rules as you have to do a bit of work both sides of the screen.
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All posts come with the caveat that I don't know what I'm talking about.
I can feel your pain. I never, ever wanted to DM but it was hard and felt like it was next to impossible to find players. I did not like the idea of playing with strangers due to all the DM horror stories I heard over the years. And no one I knew played at all.
So I tried becoming a DM and now I have more people trying to play than I have the patience or time for. Now I have almost 10 people constantly bugging me to start a campaign, and all but one of them had never played before I introduced them to it. I want to be a PC, but now I am a forever DM =(
My tip is to try the same thing. Get some people into it that haven't played before, and groom them to be a DM lol maybe you will have better luck than me.
Sometimes, when a DM introduces new players to the game, after a few sessions other players want to try their hand at DMing. I've heard of groups that even have a DM rotation of sorts in long standing campaigns. Approaching new players and introducing the game with the mindset of "training a replacement" can sometimes play out well.
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Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
It's not a troll thread. The OP is suffering from what many thousands, probably tens of thousands, of people have over the years since D&D came out -- an interest in the game, and no good way to play it because nobody in the OP's social circle has any interest. Matt Coleville talks about this in his long (wonderful) video on Roleplaying. In speculating why the D&D streams have taken off so much lately, he says that in the history of D&D, far more people have wanted to play it, than have actually played it. Before there were streams, these people would buy all the books, read all the books, buy dice and miniatures, and all the rest, but never had a chance to use any of it because they had no one to play with. When the streams came along, these folks got to at least watch other people play D&D, but many still cannot play themselves. This is exactly what has happened to the OP.
Yes, the title of the thread is a joke. But the thread is about a serious issue, which is that so many more people want to play D&D than can.
Heck, I'm one of them, if you restrict the definition to playing and not DMing. I am currently DMing D&D. But I have never played, as a player with a PC, the game of 5e D&D. In fact, I have not played as a player in a TTRPG since probably 1991. DMed/GMed, yes. Played? No. I'm always the one who GMs.
So... no, it's not really a troll thread. It's actually expressing a very frustrating circumstance for many people, some of whom have been in this circumstance for literal decades -- that for all the D&D they ever have gotten to play, it may as well be just some hoax perpetrated by first TSR and now WOTC, to sell books to people who think they'll be able to play some day but never will.
IMO, best thread title I have seen in a while. Provocative, clear, makes you click on the thread... and the first post describes the issue in a tongue-in-cheek way that also very clearly expresses the frustrations many of us have felt.
Again, I say us, because although I am running a game as DM, I still haven't played 5e as a player.
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WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
In the Beforetimes, long long ago, there were places called game shops that hosted events for D&D where anyone could come and play. I remember those days, DMing for new and interested patrons. But then the COVID came, and we were scattered to the winds...
(Really though, a lot of game shops host D&D events, so when this is all over try to find a local one...the one I used to DM for had a waitlist but ran games every weekend. My group from there continues online using Zoom and Discord)
In the Beforetimes, long long ago, there were places called game shops that hosted events for D&D where anyone could come and play. I remember those days, DMing for new and interested patrons. But then the COVID came, and we were scattered to the winds...
(Really though, a lot of game shops host D&D events, so when this is all over try to find a local one...the one I used to DM for had a waitlist but ran games every weekend. My group from there continues online using Zoom and Discord)
Game shops (LFNGSs) are great for connecting with gamers. However unless you live in a major metro or college town that can sustain the store, the odds of you living near one conveniently diminish dramatically*. And even in the case with a game store, in your own example your game had a waitlist, which means people who want to play aren't playing.
*For amusement, I used WotC's store locator for my old college town (a major metro area, I currently live in a part of the country that's flush with game stores and groups because of the regional culture). I lived in the queried region in the early 90s, where I wouldn't say D&D had anything close to the market it does today. Today there's less than half of the stores within what I'd call a reasonable distance, nothing within the city proper, and some of the stores I'm familiar with aren't event hosts, just retail (though bulletin boards may still be a thing). This is the consequence of Amazon and online retail of course (and one of the reasons I buy gamestore incentive hardcovers, I consider what I pay part of broader support to the hobbies infrastructure, but I also have the resources to engage in that sort of virtue signaling so I don't fault those who shop for best price). Game cafes are tried, but few manage long term sustainment.
So while the post was framed as satire/snark, the situation being broached is a real issue for the hobby.
Brainfarted this, in the absence of dedicated game shops, some public libraries are very supportive / hosting of game groups. Community centers too, though they're often looking for volunteers to introduce the game to their service populations (which is work that can be very rewarding).
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Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
So, I first tried to get a D&D game going in 2005 or 2006. I was rarely able to find anyone that wants to play. I've tried again and again with advent of online virtual tabletops. I've tried DnDBeyond's forum and Discord. I've tried Roll20. I've tried Reddit's LFG. Still I haven't found anyone that wants to play.
I don't think D&D has ever actually existed or been plyed. It's just a massive conspiracy to get you to buy associated products like rulebooks and novels and video games even though you are never going to be able to find anyone that wants to play. I mean think about it. Are you playing D&D right now? No, you're looking at a forum about it. I have yet to see a shred of incontrovertible proof that anyone has ever actually played an entire game of D&D.
Have you tried PbP's? In DDB's Play By Post section, Dm's pop up every once in a while, asking if there are any players interested. Also, This Arena style game, Is always open, and is pretty fun!
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When players get creative.
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I understand that this is a joke, but as such it belongs in Adohand's Kitchen.
um what does Wooooooosh mean.
Oh this is a joke. I honestly thought you thought it was a hoax.
ah. Well thanks for telling me because i was confused.
This was a solid troll thread.
The literal title is a joke, and one that's fun to play with; but it's also satire talking about a common player dilemma so I don't think it's off topic at all for General Discussion any more than the "how do I get started" or "how do I find a game" thread that pop up in this space regularly.
Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
D&D was my whole childhood and I had half my class into it. A class that had 30 people so I had to run two games.
Not an ideal solution - but i've recently been playing solo D&D to scratch the player itch. Might be that, as others mentioned, not being completely new might help you chances? I find Solo fun and would help you get to grips with the rules as you have to do a bit of work both sides of the screen.
All posts come with the caveat that I don't know what I'm talking about.
I can feel your pain. I never, ever wanted to DM but it was hard and felt like it was next to impossible to find players. I did not like the idea of playing with strangers due to all the DM horror stories I heard over the years. And no one I knew played at all.
So I tried becoming a DM and now I have more people trying to play than I have the patience or time for. Now I have almost 10 people constantly bugging me to start a campaign, and all but one of them had never played before I introduced them to it. I want to be a PC, but now I am a forever DM =(
My tip is to try the same thing. Get some people into it that haven't played before, and groom them to be a DM lol maybe you will have better luck than me.
Check out my Homebrew Magic Items
I am literally in tears!
Sometimes, when a DM introduces new players to the game, after a few sessions other players want to try their hand at DMing. I've heard of groups that even have a DM rotation of sorts in long standing campaigns. Approaching new players and introducing the game with the mindset of "training a replacement" can sometimes play out well.
Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
D&D doesn't exist, it's just a hoax made up by Gary Gygax to stop people from playing Pathfinder or other RPGs.
It's not a troll thread. The OP is suffering from what many thousands, probably tens of thousands, of people have over the years since D&D came out -- an interest in the game, and no good way to play it because nobody in the OP's social circle has any interest. Matt Coleville talks about this in his long (wonderful) video on Roleplaying. In speculating why the D&D streams have taken off so much lately, he says that in the history of D&D, far more people have wanted to play it, than have actually played it. Before there were streams, these people would buy all the books, read all the books, buy dice and miniatures, and all the rest, but never had a chance to use any of it because they had no one to play with. When the streams came along, these folks got to at least watch other people play D&D, but many still cannot play themselves. This is exactly what has happened to the OP.
Yes, the title of the thread is a joke. But the thread is about a serious issue, which is that so many more people want to play D&D than can.
Heck, I'm one of them, if you restrict the definition to playing and not DMing. I am currently DMing D&D. But I have never played, as a player with a PC, the game of 5e D&D. In fact, I have not played as a player in a TTRPG since probably 1991. DMed/GMed, yes. Played? No. I'm always the one who GMs.
So... no, it's not really a troll thread. It's actually expressing a very frustrating circumstance for many people, some of whom have been in this circumstance for literal decades -- that for all the D&D they ever have gotten to play, it may as well be just some hoax perpetrated by first TSR and now WOTC, to sell books to people who think they'll be able to play some day but never will.
IMO, best thread title I have seen in a while. Provocative, clear, makes you click on the thread... and the first post describes the issue in a tongue-in-cheek way that also very clearly expresses the frustrations many of us have felt.
Again, I say us, because although I am running a game as DM, I still haven't played 5e as a player.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
In the Beforetimes, long long ago, there were places called game shops that hosted events for D&D where anyone could come and play. I remember those days, DMing for new and interested patrons. But then the COVID came, and we were scattered to the winds...
(Really though, a lot of game shops host D&D events, so when this is all over try to find a local one...the one I used to DM for had a waitlist but ran games every weekend. My group from there continues online using Zoom and Discord)
Game shops (LFNGSs) are great for connecting with gamers. However unless you live in a major metro or college town that can sustain the store, the odds of you living near one conveniently diminish dramatically*. And even in the case with a game store, in your own example your game had a waitlist, which means people who want to play aren't playing.
*For amusement, I used WotC's store locator for my old college town (a major metro area, I currently live in a part of the country that's flush with game stores and groups because of the regional culture). I lived in the queried region in the early 90s, where I wouldn't say D&D had anything close to the market it does today. Today there's less than half of the stores within what I'd call a reasonable distance, nothing within the city proper, and some of the stores I'm familiar with aren't event hosts, just retail (though bulletin boards may still be a thing). This is the consequence of Amazon and online retail of course (and one of the reasons I buy gamestore incentive hardcovers, I consider what I pay part of broader support to the hobbies infrastructure, but I also have the resources to engage in that sort of virtue signaling so I don't fault those who shop for best price). Game cafes are tried, but few manage long term sustainment.
So while the post was framed as satire/snark, the situation being broached is a real issue for the hobby.
Brainfarted this, in the absence of dedicated game shops, some public libraries are very supportive / hosting of game groups. Community centers too, though they're often looking for volunteers to introduce the game to their service populations (which is work that can be very rewarding).
Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
Well you the man. You nailed it.
Great title by the way,
Have you tried PbP's? In DDB's Play By Post section, Dm's pop up every once in a while, asking if there are any players interested. Also, This Arena style game, Is always open, and is pretty fun!
When players get creative.