One of my players is fascinated by the underdark races, namely drow and svirfneblin. I am really not keen on having underdark PCs, because I think it's going to be a nightmare for multiple reasons. If nothing else, I feel like I'm now obligated to learn about the underdark. I barely have time to learn about the Sword Coast. I just want easy to run games with my family, I don't want this to turn into a full time job.
So...
1. How do I show them this is not a great idea? Or... 2. Am I just making too big a deal, and should I just let it happen?
If you are the DM and you don't want it to happen, don't let it happen. Tell the Player that you don't allow Underdark races in as PC's and if you want to you can explain to them why but don't feel like you have to.
If you want to have a reason for them not to play it, you can tell them about the traditional racisms that surround those races in the world as well as having them deal with sunlight sensitivity for the drow.
You can always handwave those things too. It is your world once you start it so if you want to remove the racism toward those races then that is totally fine.
I myself am curious as to why you are apposed to allowing those races. Even if they are tied to the underdark, you don't need to learn about it to allow those races. Maybe they were raised outside of the underdark as immigrants. Maybe they were at an orphanage. Maybe they came from the underdark but don't want to go back. There are infinite reasons that you wouldnt need to learn about the underdark to have those races in your game.
I myself am curious as to why you are apposed to allowing those races. Even if they are tied to the underdark, you don't need to learn about it to allow those races. Maybe they were raised outside of the underdark as immigrants. Maybe they were at an orphanage. Maybe they came from the underdark but don't want to go back. There are infinite reasons that you wouldnt need to learn about the underdark to have those races in your game.
I'm really trying to up my game a little, especially insofar as trying to tie character backstories into campaigns. But I don't have a great deal of time to allocate to prep, and I really don't want a bending shelf full of source books. I have a tendency to get obsessive over hobbies, and I really want to avoid that and keep this light (as light as possible for a game with three books of rules) and fun.
It helps me enormously when all my players originated in similar areas - like the Northern swordcoast. I can read the Swordcoast Adventurers Guide and boom - I have enough material to tie in the characters in a meaningful way.
I also don't really want to be dealing with heavy shit like racism in the game. More power to anyone that chooses to do so, don't get me wrong. It just doesn't have a place at my table. Plenty of time is spent dealing with that in real life, I don't need to bring it into a fantasy game.
Maybe I'll see if we can meet halfway - a Svirfneblin found and raised by 'normal' gnomes on the swordcoast. We do already have one adopted character, so maybe it'll seem a little trite, but better that than trying to shoe horn in a way to take the party to the underdark to meet mom and dad.
Again, you can always tell your players no. You can share with them exactly what you have shared here and hopefully they understand. If not, then you can work with them to develop a reason for them to be around.
You also don't have to deal with anything you don't want to. If you don't want to deal with racism in the world then don't. It doesn't matter what the race of the character. If you don't want to deal with that then don't.
This is just a suggestion, but could you delegate learning about the Underdark to the player? I don’t know what your screen-time rules are, but if this is a young family member, they might like to feel like they’re helping you build the world. This could potentially be a step in training them to DM themselves.
That might not work for you; personally I’m not as good a collaborator as I’d like to be. I get obsessive over nooks and crannies of my world and when a nephew tells me his Lizardfolk ranger is from exactly the wrong place - a rolling prairie that, in my head, is 150 miles from the river estuary where we put the tribe of his other Lizardfolk character - I feel irrationally wrong-footed.
OTOH, the Realms already have a ton of this stuff written out, the problem is that you don’t have the time to read it all (and no one does). So nothing they find will actually conflict with what you’re doing.
Another possibility could be that your Underdark characters could just live in the same place as the dwarves. Citadel Whatsitsname. In your Realms, the Underdark races are all relatively chill with each other and it’s a big, cosmopolitan melting pot.
Anyway, just a couple of ideas that split the difference between options 1 and 2.
I know this is the DM forum, but I have experience as a drow player, so I hope that hearing the other side could help you find a solution that works for you!
First, I'd ask the player why they want to use an Underdark race. Do they feel like it is important to the concept of their character? Or do they just think the idea is cool, or the racial bonuses are good? If it's the former, I'd consider looking into ways you can work with that race. If the latter, encourage them to take a look at different races that fit into your setting better that have other great abilities. Example: I was once super set on using a triton, but incorporating an underwater race was difficult for the DM, so I settled on water genasi which had a lot of similar features. And if you allow your players to get just a little homebrew-y, they can always flavor their characters as something else, such as a more fish-like genasi or a normal elf that previously lived in a cave.
Speaking personally, my character being a drow was integral to her concept, and my DM allowed it in a surface campaign. He didn't worry about racism or heavy drow lore - I came up with my own lore-inspired reason for being on the surface, and the most I had to worry about was sunlight sensitivity and the occasional NPC tell me they don't see much of my kind. So the lore and racism issues are totally up to you if you want to include them or not; it's very easy to include an Underdark race if you don't overthink it! If you don't have the extra time to research the races yourself, encourage your player to do so. They should end up with a good backstory and a lot of good roleplay opportunities, all while you can take a back seat and let them introduce the lore for you to start incorporating from there however you want.
I hope this helps, or at least gives you ideas for other options!
What's there to learn about the Sword Coast? It's basically generic fantasy land. There is some fun stuff there, but the real fun is in messing with it and making up stuff to make it unique to you and your players.
You can do anything you want. Player wants to play a drow? Invent a great battle in recent history where the drow broke with Lloth and came to the aid of the surface. People now love drow. Or just make it that once upon a time people were anti drow but not any more because reasons. Unless those reasons are directly part of the story, you don't even need to know them.
Here is some stuff from my world for example:
Goblins and gnomes are the same thing
Everywhere on the map that isn't a settlement is feywild, to varying degrees
Half those towns and landmarks are no longer there. People may think they, are but until they go there the don't know. For example, the town of Conyberry has been swallowed by the mists and is now in Ravenloft.
There world is under attack from the Far Realm which is seeking to devour it. Most people are unaware of this.
All this is just stuff that me or my players came up with because its fun for us. I'm sure you and your players can come up with really fun reasons for why underdark races are walking about and everyone is cool with it.
Just remember, you don't need to know the world. You just need to know what the player characters would know. The world pretty much only exists as far as they can see anyway. As for prep, you only need to prepare where they are, and where they will be next.
Just pretend you know everything else :p
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One of my players is fascinated by the underdark races, namely drow and svirfneblin. I am really not keen on having underdark PCs, because I think it's going to be a nightmare for multiple reasons. If nothing else, I feel like I'm now obligated to learn about the underdark. I barely have time to learn about the Sword Coast. I just want easy to run games with my family, I don't want this to turn into a full time job.
So...
1. How do I show them this is not a great idea? Or...
2. Am I just making too big a deal, and should I just let it happen?
If you are the DM and you don't want it to happen, don't let it happen. Tell the Player that you don't allow Underdark races in as PC's and if you want to you can explain to them why but don't feel like you have to.
If you want to have a reason for them not to play it, you can tell them about the traditional racisms that surround those races in the world as well as having them deal with sunlight sensitivity for the drow.
You can always handwave those things too. It is your world once you start it so if you want to remove the racism toward those races then that is totally fine.
I myself am curious as to why you are apposed to allowing those races. Even if they are tied to the underdark, you don't need to learn about it to allow those races. Maybe they were raised outside of the underdark as immigrants. Maybe they were at an orphanage. Maybe they came from the underdark but don't want to go back. There are infinite reasons that you wouldnt need to learn about the underdark to have those races in your game.
Buyers Guide for D&D Beyond - Hardcover Books, D&D Beyond and You - How/What is Toggled Content?
Everything you need to know about Homebrew - Homebrew FAQ - Digital Book on D&D Beyond Vs Physical Books
Can't find the content you are supposed to have access to? Read this FAQ.
"Play the game however you want to play the game. After all, your fun doesn't threaten my fun."
I'm really trying to up my game a little, especially insofar as trying to tie character backstories into campaigns. But I don't have a great deal of time to allocate to prep, and I really don't want a bending shelf full of source books. I have a tendency to get obsessive over hobbies, and I really want to avoid that and keep this light (as light as possible for a game with three books of rules) and fun.
It helps me enormously when all my players originated in similar areas - like the Northern swordcoast. I can read the Swordcoast Adventurers Guide and boom - I have enough material to tie in the characters in a meaningful way.
I also don't really want to be dealing with heavy shit like racism in the game. More power to anyone that chooses to do so, don't get me wrong. It just doesn't have a place at my table. Plenty of time is spent dealing with that in real life, I don't need to bring it into a fantasy game.
Maybe I'll see if we can meet halfway - a Svirfneblin found and raised by 'normal' gnomes on the swordcoast. We do already have one adopted character, so maybe it'll seem a little trite, but better that than trying to shoe horn in a way to take the party to the underdark to meet mom and dad.
Again, you can always tell your players no. You can share with them exactly what you have shared here and hopefully they understand. If not, then you can work with them to develop a reason for them to be around.
You also don't have to deal with anything you don't want to. If you don't want to deal with racism in the world then don't. It doesn't matter what the race of the character. If you don't want to deal with that then don't.
Buyers Guide for D&D Beyond - Hardcover Books, D&D Beyond and You - How/What is Toggled Content?
Everything you need to know about Homebrew - Homebrew FAQ - Digital Book on D&D Beyond Vs Physical Books
Can't find the content you are supposed to have access to? Read this FAQ.
"Play the game however you want to play the game. After all, your fun doesn't threaten my fun."
This is just a suggestion, but could you delegate learning about the Underdark to the player? I don’t know what your screen-time rules are, but if this is a young family member, they might like to feel like they’re helping you build the world. This could potentially be a step in training them to DM themselves.
That might not work for you; personally I’m not as good a collaborator as I’d like to be. I get obsessive over nooks and crannies of my world and when a nephew tells me his Lizardfolk ranger is from exactly the wrong place - a rolling prairie that, in my head, is 150 miles from the river estuary where we put the tribe of his other Lizardfolk character - I feel irrationally wrong-footed.
OTOH, the Realms already have a ton of this stuff written out, the problem is that you don’t have the time to read it all (and no one does). So nothing they find will actually conflict with what you’re doing.
Another possibility could be that your Underdark characters could just live in the same place as the dwarves. Citadel Whatsitsname. In your Realms, the Underdark races are all relatively chill with each other and it’s a big, cosmopolitan melting pot.
Anyway, just a couple of ideas that split the difference between options 1 and 2.
I know this is the DM forum, but I have experience as a drow player, so I hope that hearing the other side could help you find a solution that works for you!
First, I'd ask the player why they want to use an Underdark race. Do they feel like it is important to the concept of their character? Or do they just think the idea is cool, or the racial bonuses are good? If it's the former, I'd consider looking into ways you can work with that race. If the latter, encourage them to take a look at different races that fit into your setting better that have other great abilities. Example: I was once super set on using a triton, but incorporating an underwater race was difficult for the DM, so I settled on water genasi which had a lot of similar features. And if you allow your players to get just a little homebrew-y, they can always flavor their characters as something else, such as a more fish-like genasi or a normal elf that previously lived in a cave.
Speaking personally, my character being a drow was integral to her concept, and my DM allowed it in a surface campaign. He didn't worry about racism or heavy drow lore - I came up with my own lore-inspired reason for being on the surface, and the most I had to worry about was sunlight sensitivity and the occasional NPC tell me they don't see much of my kind. So the lore and racism issues are totally up to you if you want to include them or not; it's very easy to include an Underdark race if you don't overthink it! If you don't have the extra time to research the races yourself, encourage your player to do so. They should end up with a good backstory and a lot of good roleplay opportunities, all while you can take a back seat and let them introduce the lore for you to start incorporating from there however you want.
I hope this helps, or at least gives you ideas for other options!
What's there to learn about the Sword Coast? It's basically generic fantasy land. There is some fun stuff there, but the real fun is in messing with it and making up stuff to make it unique to you and your players.
You can do anything you want. Player wants to play a drow? Invent a great battle in recent history where the drow broke with Lloth and came to the aid of the surface. People now love drow. Or just make it that once upon a time people were anti drow but not any more because reasons. Unless those reasons are directly part of the story, you don't even need to know them.
Here is some stuff from my world for example:
Goblins and gnomes are the same thing
Everywhere on the map that isn't a settlement is feywild, to varying degrees
Half those towns and landmarks are no longer there. People may think they, are but until they go there the don't know. For example, the town of Conyberry has been swallowed by the mists and is now in Ravenloft.
There world is under attack from the Far Realm which is seeking to devour it. Most people are unaware of this.
All this is just stuff that me or my players came up with because its fun for us. I'm sure you and your players can come up with really fun reasons for why underdark races are walking about and everyone is cool with it.
Just remember, you don't need to know the world. You just need to know what the player characters would know. The world pretty much only exists as far as they can see anyway. As for prep, you only need to prepare where they are, and where they will be next.
Just pretend you know everything else :p