I play with my fiance and his kids as the DM, my fiance is always trying to correct me or question my decisions as DM. The lastest which he threw a fit with was I said I was going to stick with the way I was doing his initiative with advantage rolls. I hadnt seen anything in the DM book or the PHB that said something specifically, but it seems there is the 2 d20s rule where the player chooses the number they like out of the 2 rolled. I had been doing it where since it was an advantage I put him higher in the list than what he rolled. He flipped out and said he isnt gonna play with someone who makes up their own rules. That isnt the only time hes questioned my decision or tried to push things the way HE thinks they should work and its annoying. I am also trying to have the characters build their own town, which was his idea and i liked it, but he wants to do it his way even though i have an idea how to fit it into the story we are currently in.
Also, right now i am playing a DMPC, it was originally because they didnt have a healer but now they have ability to heal so im trying to keep the character more out of the decision making so that I dont have to worry about giving stuff away and so forth. I have experience rping in other games, but since I have to keep the story a surprise its tough to just 'forget' everything in front of me. And the fact that they always look to my character for guidance its even more frustrating. I break my characters 'character' by telling them IC to 'figure it out themselves', but its a constant thing.
I play with my fiance and his kids as the DM, my fiance is always trying to correct me or question my decisions as DM. The lastest which he threw a fit with was I said I was going to stick with the way I was doing his initiative with advantage rolls. I hadn't seen anything in the DM book or the PHB that said something specifically, but it seems there is the 2 d20s rule where the player chooses the number they like out of the 2 rolled.
In that particular instance, I'm pretty sure he's right. Either way, though, the DM outranks the rules.
I have never heard of 'picking the one you prefer' for advantage. "Use the higher of the two rolls if you have advantage, and use the lower roll if you have disadvantage." From the PHB, and nothing in the description says pick. He should reread the rules before he calls you out on 'making up rules'. If he WANTS to go lower in initiative order, he can delay his turn.
Be firm. Tell him that as the DM, you are the sole adjudicator of the rules. If he has an issue, he can calmly pitch his case in 1 minute, and you can rule on it. Whatever your ruling is, is final. Just make sure you are sticking to your rulings.
I would recommend killing off the DMPC in some dramatic fashion. Take away the crutch, and let them survive on their own. 5E doesn't require any particular party composition, and you can make them think more strategically and creatively by taking this away, particularly if they have a habit of abusing it.
I play with my fiance and his kids as the DM, my fiance is always trying to correct me or question my decisions as DM. The lastest which he threw a fit with was I said I was going to stick with the way I was doing his initiative with advantage rolls. I hadn't seen anything in the DM book or the PHB that said something specifically, but it seems there is the 2 d20s rule where the player chooses the number they like out of the 2 rolled.
In that particular instance, I'm pretty sure he's right. Either way, though, the DM outranks the rules.
Can you direct me to where it says that? In the Advantage/Disadvantage rules it specifically says for Adv you taker higher, and Disadv you take lower. Unless there was a Sage Advice that altered this, or it's not in the Advantage/Disadvantage rule heading?
it says in the PHB Chapter 7, section called "Advantage and Disadvantage" and I quote
"
Sometimes a special ability or spell tells you that you have advantage or disadvantage on an ability check, a saving throw, or an attack roll. When that happens, you roll a second d20 when you make the roll. Use the higher of the two rolls if you have advantage, and use the lower roll if you have disadvantage. For example, if you have disadvantage and roll a 17 and a 5, you use the 5. If you instead have advantage and roll those numbers, you use the 17.
If multiple situations affect a roll and each one grants advantage or imposes disadvantage on it, you don't roll more than one additional d20. If two favorable situations grant advantage, for example, you still roll only one additional d20.
If circumstances cause a roll to have both advantage and disadvantage, you are considered to have neither of them, and you roll one d20. This is true even if multiple circumstances impose disadvantage and only one grants advantage or vice versa. In such a situation, you have neither advantage nor disadvantage.
When you have advantage or disadvantage and something in the game, such as the halfling's Lucky trait, lets you reroll the d20, you can reroll only one of the dice. You choose which one. For example, if a halfling has advantage or disadvantage on an ability check and rolls a 1 and a 13, the halfling could use the Lucky trait to reroll the 1.
You usually gain advantage or disadvantage through the use of special abilities, actions, or spells. Inspiration can also give a character advantage (as explained in chapter 4, “Personality and Background”). The DM can also decide that circumstances influence a roll in one direction or the other and grant advantage or impose disadvantage as a result. "
If you wanted to break it down, if you were giving him around +5 on the initiative that he rolled you were statistically giving him his advantage bonus.
Yeah we as DMs are not infallible, we make mistakes and we either stick with our decisions or we work with the players to change it going forward. If this is the straw that broke the camels back for him then maybe its not good to play with him, especially if it has put strains on your relationship.
If he wants to be the DM, then let him run a few games as DM and see how he feels about it. Maybe he loves it and you two can trade off DM position every few months.
I hope he can "calm his tits" about all this, and enjoy the game going forward. Try not to worry about the minutiae of the rules, and making a decision in the moment is better than spending 30 minutes looking up a rule when nobody knows how it works. Keep playing keep DMing and keep learning. I hope this goes ok, for both of you, good luck, and happy gaming.
For them trying to lean on the npc to give them direction, deliberately lead them astray. If that does not have the desired effect I somewhat agree with killing them in an epic fashion. I almost hate that but you can certainly work the game without a dedicated healer. Maybe they can try and hire another cleric or some such in the future. But if they hear about what happened to your last one... it might be expensive.
"Where words fail, swords prevail. Where blood is spilled, my cup is filled" -Cartaphilus
"I have found the answer to the meaning of life. You ask me what the answer is? You already know what the answer to life is. You fear it more than the strike of a viper, the ravages of disease, the ire of a lover. The answer is always death. But death is a gentle mistress with a sweet embrace, and you owe her a debt of restitution. Life is not a gift, it is a loan."
it says in the PHB Chapter 7, section called "Advantage and Disadvantage" and I quote
"
Sometimes a special ability or spell tells you that you have advantage or disadvantage on an ability check, a saving throw, or an attack roll. When that happens, you roll a second d20 when you make the roll. Use the higher of the two rolls if you have advantage, and use the lower roll if you have disadvantage. For example, if you have disadvantage and roll a 17 and a 5, you use the 5. If you instead have advantage and roll those numbers, you use the 17.
If multiple situations affect a roll and each one grants advantage or imposes disadvantage on it, you don't roll more than one additional d20. If two favorable situations grant advantage, for example, you still roll only one additional d20.
If circumstances cause a roll to have both advantage and disadvantage, you are considered to have neither of them, and you roll one d20. This is true even if multiple circumstances impose disadvantage and only one grants advantage or vice versa. In such a situation, you have neither advantage nor disadvantage.
When you have advantage or disadvantage and something in the game, such as the halfling's Lucky trait, lets you reroll the d20, you can reroll only one of the dice. You choose which one. For example, if a halfling has advantage or disadvantage on an ability check and rolls a 1 and a 13, the halfling could use the Lucky trait to reroll the 1.
You usually gain advantage or disadvantage through the use of special abilities, actions, or spells. Inspiration can also give a character advantage (as explained in chapter 4, “Personality and Background”). The DM can also decide that circumstances influence a roll in one direction or the other and grant advantage or impose disadvantage as a result. "
Huh. Now I know. I wonder why I thought you could pick.
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"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Well show him this thread, I think that will help.
As for the town, try to remember D&D is about collaborative storytelling. He needs to feel like he is not on your "railroad" and he also needs to listen to your contribution to the story.
Unfortunately, the dm is on hook for smoothing this out. The formula is simple; 1 find out what the pc wants 2 offer it with conditions that serve story progression 3 reward player and repeat
The execution of the formula ... not so easy... that's why good DMs are so hard to find
Keep it up, you are doing great and never stop asking the questions!
I hadnt seen anything in the DM book or the PHB that said something specifically, but it seems there is the 2 d20s rule where the player chooses the number they like out of the 2 rolled. I had been doing it where since it was an advantage I put him higher in the list than what he rolled.
The PHB say's: Advantage - Roll 2d20's and keep the higher roll. (Never mention's choice) For Disadvantage - Roll 2d20's and keep the lower roll. (Never mention's choice)
I am also trying to have the characters build their own town, which was his idea and i liked it, but he wants to do it his way even though i have an idea how to fit it into the story we are currently in.
If your husband frequently challenges your rulings, then I would recommend that you read the very opening statements of the PHB where it specifically say's that whatever the GM decides is the law, the GM is all powerful in the world of D&D. The GM is Creator, Master, God, Destroyer of anything and everything within both META and NON-META D&D. lol
Also, right now i am playing a DMPC, it was originally because they didnt have a healer but now they have ability to heal so im trying to keep the character more out of the decision making so that I dont have to worry about giving stuff away and so forth. I have experience rping in other games, but since I have to keep the story a surprise its tough to just 'forget' everything in front of me. And the fact that they always look to my character for guidance its even more frustrating. I break my characters 'character' by telling them IC to 'figure it out themselves', but its a constant thing.
I suggest that you kill off you DMPC in some epic fashion. You don't ever need to reveal to your players the reason for their "untimely" death, (which I would suggest since your players seem to be the type who complain that they don't have their "guide" anymore. :P) but either way you should make it seem like a natural part of the story somehow. You can do it by way of: Traps, High Level Monster, Sacrifice for something, or even just have the character develop a reason to leave the party and go elsewhere. Cleric's have an easy way out since their faith can be used as their TRUE #1 purpose in their lives and be called to a higher purpose such as: Pilgrimage, Church building, going on a Secret Quest given to them by their god, etc...
Hope something here helps! Cheers! :D
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I play with my fiance and his kids as the DM, my fiance is always trying to correct me or question my decisions as DM. The lastest which he threw a fit with was I said I was going to stick with the way I was doing his initiative with advantage rolls. I hadnt seen anything in the DM book or the PHB that said something specifically, but it seems there is the 2 d20s rule where the player chooses the number they like out of the 2 rolled. I had been doing it where since it was an advantage I put him higher in the list than what he rolled. He flipped out and said he isnt gonna play with someone who makes up their own rules. That isnt the only time hes questioned my decision or tried to push things the way HE thinks they should work and its annoying. I am also trying to have the characters build their own town, which was his idea and i liked it, but he wants to do it his way even though i have an idea how to fit it into the story we are currently in.
Also, right now i am playing a DMPC, it was originally because they didnt have a healer but now they have ability to heal so im trying to keep the character more out of the decision making so that I dont have to worry about giving stuff away and so forth. I have experience rping in other games, but since I have to keep the story a surprise its tough to just 'forget' everything in front of me. And the fact that they always look to my character for guidance its even more frustrating. I break my characters 'character' by telling them IC to 'figure it out themselves', but its a constant thing.
What are your thoughts on these 2 things.
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
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I have never heard of 'picking the one you prefer' for advantage. "Use the higher of the two rolls if you have advantage, and use the lower roll if you have disadvantage." From the PHB, and nothing in the description says pick. He should reread the rules before he calls you out on 'making up rules'. If he WANTS to go lower in initiative order, he can delay his turn.
Be firm. Tell him that as the DM, you are the sole adjudicator of the rules. If he has an issue, he can calmly pitch his case in 1 minute, and you can rule on it. Whatever your ruling is, is final. Just make sure you are sticking to your rulings.
I would recommend killing off the DMPC in some dramatic fashion. Take away the crutch, and let them survive on their own. 5E doesn't require any particular party composition, and you can make them think more strategically and creatively by taking this away, particularly if they have a habit of abusing it.
it says in the PHB Chapter 7, section called "Advantage and Disadvantage" and I quote
"
Sometimes a special ability or spell tells you that you have advantage or disadvantage on an ability check, a saving throw, or an attack roll. When that happens, you roll a second d20 when you make the roll. Use the higher of the two rolls if you have advantage, and use the lower roll if you have disadvantage. For example, if you have disadvantage and roll a 17 and a 5, you use the 5. If you instead have advantage and roll those numbers, you use the 17.
If multiple situations affect a roll and each one grants advantage or imposes disadvantage on it, you don't roll more than one additional d20. If two favorable situations grant advantage, for example, you still roll only one additional d20.
If circumstances cause a roll to have both advantage and disadvantage, you are considered to have neither of them, and you roll one d20. This is true even if multiple circumstances impose disadvantage and only one grants advantage or vice versa. In such a situation, you have neither advantage nor disadvantage.
When you have advantage or disadvantage and something in the game, such as the halfling's Lucky trait, lets you reroll the d20, you can reroll only one of the dice. You choose which one. For example, if a halfling has advantage or disadvantage on an ability check and rolls a 1 and a 13, the halfling could use the Lucky trait to reroll the 1.
You usually gain advantage or disadvantage through the use of special abilities, actions, or spells. Inspiration can also give a character advantage (as explained in chapter 4, “Personality and Background”). The DM can also decide that circumstances influence a roll in one direction or the other and grant advantage or impose disadvantage as a result. "
"Never meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup."
If you wanted to break it down, if you were giving him around +5 on the initiative that he rolled you were statistically giving him his advantage bonus.
Yeah we as DMs are not infallible, we make mistakes and we either stick with our decisions or we work with the players to change it going forward. If this is the straw that broke the camels back for him then maybe its not good to play with him, especially if it has put strains on your relationship.
If he wants to be the DM, then let him run a few games as DM and see how he feels about it. Maybe he loves it and you two can trade off DM position every few months.
I hope he can "calm his tits" about all this, and enjoy the game going forward. Try not to worry about the minutiae of the rules, and making a decision in the moment is better than spending 30 minutes looking up a rule when nobody knows how it works. Keep playing keep DMing and keep learning. I hope this goes ok, for both of you, good luck, and happy gaming.
For them trying to lean on the npc to give them direction, deliberately lead them astray. If that does not have the desired effect I somewhat agree with killing them in an epic fashion. I almost hate that but you can certainly work the game without a dedicated healer. Maybe they can try and hire another cleric or some such in the future. But if they hear about what happened to your last one... it might be expensive.
"Where words fail, swords prevail. Where blood is spilled, my cup is filled" -Cartaphilus
"I have found the answer to the meaning of life. You ask me what the answer is? You already know what the answer to life is. You fear it more than the strike of a viper, the ravages of disease, the ire of a lover. The answer is always death. But death is a gentle mistress with a sweet embrace, and you owe her a debt of restitution. Life is not a gift, it is a loan."
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
Well show him this thread, I think that will help.
As for the town, try to remember D&D is about collaborative storytelling. He needs to feel like he is not on your "railroad" and he also needs to listen to your contribution to the story.
Unfortunately, the dm is on hook for smoothing this out. The formula is simple; 1 find out what the pc wants 2 offer it with conditions that serve story progression 3 reward player and repeat
The execution of the formula ... not so easy... that's why good DMs are so hard to find
Keep it up, you are doing great and never stop asking the questions!
Jesus Saves!... Everyone else takes damage.