So, me and some friends got into doing DnD together midway through this year and it has been an absolute blast. Our start was rocky but we’ve started to get into a good groove. BUT, i still come away from each session worrying over whether or not I ensured my players had a good time. They normally say they have a good time, but that doesn’t usually shake away the worry. Is there any way for me to get that side of things to go away or is that just part of the DM package? And do you guys have any advice for newer Dungeon Masters?
I suggest that you ask what things they like most or not as much. If combat is best but NPCs talking at them is "not as absolutely best," then that's a clue. The idea that something is "bad" can be hard to say out loud. Something that is asked as "best" and "just OK" might be easy for them to share. Maybe nothing is truly bad, but it's nice to get feedback. Things are relative. See what they like most!
Tell them why you're asking. If you explain, "I want to give you more of the best and improve or lessen the other stuff," it might show them some reason to open up.
Instead of framing it as "did you like it", try saying, "what do you think I should try to improve on". Or try saying, "what do you want to see more of/less of" If there is something specific you think you might not have done a great job with, ask about it.
The anxiety you describe is the kind that happens when you try a skill in the absence of models. Try using youtube to check out some games. The point is not that your game should look like other peoples' games. Rather, you should know why you're making the choices you make, and the comparison will help to show which choices are your choices.
So, me and some friends got into doing DnD together midway through this year and it has been an absolute blast.
Welcome to the hobby and welcome to this side of the DM Screen! :-)
It's awesome that you are having a blast!
Yes, the nagging feeling does go away. Mostly - I've been GMing for *counts fingers* 40 years and I still get nervous sometimes.
What helps is good communication. Ask the players for honest feedback. Listen to it. Also, make sure you are giving them yours. Players need to know what makes it fun for the GM (so they do it more) and what makes it not fun for a GM (so they stop doing it).
The above advice is definitely great! Asking the players more specific questions helps be 100% sure you're running a good game. If the thoughts still persist, one thing that I find helpful to calm my DM anxiety is to put myself in the players shoes. Would I personally have had fun at tonights session? Then I go through each individual. Would I have fun if I was X? What if I was Y? When you look at your players during the session, pay a bit more attention to their faces. Every smile, laugh, or positive(OOC) reaction to things happening is something to take note of. Each one shows you did something right :).
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
NNCHRIS: SOUL THIEF, MASTER OF THE ARCANE, AND KING OF NEW YORKNN Gdl Creator of Ilheia and her Knights of the Fallen Stars ldG Lesser Student of Technomancy [undergrad student in computer science] Supporter of the 2014 rules, and a MASSIVE Homebrewer. Come to me all ye who seek salvation in wording thy brews! Open to homebrew trades at any time!! Or feel free to request HB, and Ill see if I can get it done for ya! Characters (Outdated)
So, me and some friends got into doing DnD together midway through this year and it has been an absolute blast.
Welcome to the hobby and welcome to this side of the DM Screen! :-)
It's awesome that you are having a blast!
Yes, the nagging feeling does go away. Mostly - I've been GMing for *counts fingers* 40 years and I still get nervous sometimes.
What helps is good communication. Ask the players for honest feedback. Listen to it. Also, make sure you are giving them yours. Players need to know what makes it fun for the GM (so they do it more) and what makes it not fun for a GM (so they stop doing it).
Have fun, play more games.
You can count to 40 on your fingers!?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Paladin main who spends most of his D&D time worldbuilding or DMing, not Paladin-ing.
So, me and some friends got into doing DnD together midway through this year and it has been an absolute blast.
Welcome to the hobby and welcome to this side of the DM Screen! :-)
It's awesome that you are having a blast!
Yes, the nagging feeling does go away. Mostly - I've been GMing for *counts fingers* 40 years and I still get nervous sometimes.
What helps is good communication. Ask the players for honest feedback. Listen to it. Also, make sure you are giving them yours. Players need to know what makes it fun for the GM (so they do it more) and what makes it not fun for a GM (so they stop doing it).
Kinda been said, but i guess i'll reinforce it by saying that it's easier to answer without directly asking the players if they like it. Most people will like the overall game while having some minor issues which don't derail the fun but sometimes get a bit frustrating.
Questions i sometimes ask are relative to situations
Favorite Moment from the Last X sessions we've played?
Did you enjoy the casual conversations most, the NPC interactions, or the combat?
What did you think of the mechanic the NPC's used in the last fight? Did it make it more interesting? did it make it less fun?
There are ways to find out whether or not the campaign is going good outside of this. Conversations coming up outside of game days about events that happened, members of the party wanting to bring their friends into the game, talking to the DM about things they want to try. You wont see all side conversations, and sometimes they'll be done in private, so i wouldn't be that concerned at the lack-there-of either.
Sorry to say that it doesn't go away entirely in my experience. Almost every time I DM there are things I would have liked to improve or maybe spent more time preparing or come up with something better on the spur of the moment when the players choose a tangent. The games generally seem to be well received and the players keep coming back every week but the nagging doubts are always there for me.
I think the doubts are frequently there for many. The more you care about the product you are presenting to your players and the desire that they have a good experience, the more likely you are to worry that you are succeeding with it.
Asking for feedback can be useful but there are two issues - the first is that they don't have any, which many folks don't since they are having a fine time and even if there might be something that could be better it is very hard to quantify exactly what could be done to change it. The second is that they may offer feedback you may or may not agree with. As DM, you need to take it in a helpful way no matter how it is expressed. It isn't an attack, it is just one person's impressions of things they think you could do better. This can happen particularly if one or more of your players also DM. Contrasting DM styles, different ways of running things, can all result in comments that may feel bothersome but they aren't intended that way - so as DM, the person needs to accept the feedback. Nothing may change. You may disagree with the feedback but at least you have a different perspective and it can sometimes give you some insight into how you might do it better.
DMing isn't easy at the beginning and some aspects like doubt may never entirely fade. However, keep on doing it, get better at it, enjoy it and doubts won't matter :)
P.S. Though I still need to use 6 fingers for the number of years I've been DMing.
I have run this year alone three ongoing campaigns and several shorter run campaigns (of systems other than D&D), being honest I frequently worry about the quality of the sessions that I deliver.
Just last night I did a setting I've never done in D&D a crooked circus/funfair there was no big combat encounter, there were loads of games and loads of chances for characters and players to solve different problems. I included a menagerie thinking that sooner or later one of the characters would release the animals (most likely the Druid). I knew that the characters didn't all have the skills to outwit the cons that the stall holders were pulling so expected frustration. I know these players really well after six months of weekly sessions. They're a great group and I expected utter chaos. Even though they told me they enjoyed it, I've never run a session like that and came away unsure of how well it worked.
The solution for me has been to ask what worked well for you? and what didn't work for you?
I have explained to my players that these questions help me design sessions that work well for them.
I also have a feedback form that I pass out once every so often (as a Google form) so that people can feedback in private if they're not comfortable speaking up in front of others.
The key though is to foster useful communication between you and players. Stars and Wishes, and Roses and Thorns are both good systems for fostering feedback to you.
Give your friends a call individually but space it between each session so that you don't get overwhelm. You've just ran a session, within the next few days, just call one player and have a chat to see how things went. Don't make it about him but about how the previous session went and see if he opens up about things that he might think of.
I've just ran my first GM session last Sunday. I had enough experience as a player. Before that session, we had our session zero and I've worked with the player who was the most involve to see his point of view. Then we ran that session 1 and I've decided to call one of my other friend and have a chat with him. I knew he was the least prepared so far for his character due to lack of time and he was the one who felt less involved.
So, we've spoken for like an hour about various things. He had nothing bad to say, he was even surprise how well I've ran this. So, I've decided to express my own concerns about myself to see what he though about it. Then we've talk about situations and how i was going to handle it for the future, what had happened so far and just by talking about it eventually we've spoken about roleplay. This is where he told me, yeah lots of the guys roleplayed inside the farm house and he felt like if he did too, it would have drag the session more and they wouldn't have progress as much... With this, it allowed us to tackle how i viewed roleplay and i wanted us to focus more on it to become better and flesh out characters because we definitively need to improve and i know there is an interest for it. It immediately set the tone that he is very welcomed to roleplay instead of feeling otherwise. We've spoken about his character background to make it work in the forgotten realm and i gave him a little tips about the immediate upcoming events (nothing game breaking) that would give him a few options for roleplay.
So, it is not like i had a plan calling him, you never know how it may turns out but for me so far, this seem like a good way of handling it. I've done helpdesk support for a while in my life and i think this applies to pretty much every conversation; When you're going to have a chat with your friend, make it about "We" and "The Situation" or "yourself when it is something about you" through the conversation. There is a big difference if you tell someone "You should roleplay to become better at it" and "We all need to work on our roleplaying skill to become better so you're very welcomed to do so". You probably want the same end result but how that person will perceive the discussion will be much different.
After the next session, during the week, i may call one of the other guy and get his pulse on the game instead of rushing head first into it and calling them all right away.
So, me and some friends got into doing DnD together midway through this year and it has been an absolute blast. Our start was rocky but we’ve started to get into a good groove. BUT, i still come away from each session worrying over whether or not I ensured my players had a good time.
They normally say they have a good time, but that doesn’t usually shake away the worry. Is there any way for me to get that side of things to go away or is that just part of the DM package? And do you guys have any advice for newer Dungeon Masters?
I suggest that you ask what things they like most or not as much. If combat is best but NPCs talking at them is "not as absolutely best," then that's a clue. The idea that something is "bad" can be hard to say out loud. Something that is asked as "best" and "just OK" might be easy for them to share. Maybe nothing is truly bad, but it's nice to get feedback. Things are relative. See what they like most!
Tell them why you're asking. If you explain, "I want to give you more of the best and improve or lessen the other stuff," it might show them some reason to open up.
Instead of framing it as "did you like it", try saying, "what do you think I should try to improve on". Or try saying, "what do you want to see more of/less of" If there is something specific you think you might not have done a great job with, ask about it.
The anxiety you describe is the kind that happens when you try a skill in the absence of models. Try using youtube to check out some games. The point is not that your game should look like other peoples' games. Rather, you should know why you're making the choices you make, and the comparison will help to show which choices are your choices.
Welcome to the hobby and welcome to this side of the DM Screen! :-)
It's awesome that you are having a blast!
Yes, the nagging feeling does go away. Mostly - I've been GMing for *counts fingers* 40 years and I still get nervous sometimes.
What helps is good communication. Ask the players for honest feedback. Listen to it. Also, make sure you are giving them yours. Players need to know what makes it fun for the GM (so they do it more) and what makes it not fun for a GM (so they stop doing it).
Have fun, play more games.
The above advice is definitely great! Asking the players more specific questions helps be 100% sure you're running a good game. If the thoughts still persist, one thing that I find helpful to calm my DM anxiety is to put myself in the players shoes. Would I personally have had fun at tonights session? Then I go through each individual. Would I have fun if I was X? What if I was Y? When you look at your players during the session, pay a bit more attention to their faces. Every smile, laugh, or positive(OOC) reaction to things happening is something to take note of. Each one shows you did something right :).
NNCHRIS: SOUL THIEF, MASTER OF THE ARCANE, AND KING OF NEW YORKNN
Gdl Creator of Ilheia and her Knights of the Fallen Stars ldG
Lesser Student of Technomancy [undergrad student in computer science]
Supporter of the 2014 rules, and a MASSIVE Homebrewer. Come to me all ye who seek salvation in wording thy brews!
Open to homebrew trades at any time!! Or feel free to request HB, and Ill see if I can get it done for ya!
Characters (Outdated)
You can count to 40 on your fingers!?
Paladin main who spends most of his D&D time worldbuilding or DMing, not Paladin-ing.
Binary
What can I say... I'm gifted. :-P
Kinda been said, but i guess i'll reinforce it by saying that it's easier to answer without directly asking the players if they like it. Most people will like the overall game while having some minor issues which don't derail the fun but sometimes get a bit frustrating.
Questions i sometimes ask are relative to situations
There are ways to find out whether or not the campaign is going good outside of this. Conversations coming up outside of game days about events that happened, members of the party wanting to bring their friends into the game, talking to the DM about things they want to try. You wont see all side conversations, and sometimes they'll be done in private, so i wouldn't be that concerned at the lack-there-of either.
Awesome answer :)
Sorry to say that it doesn't go away entirely in my experience. Almost every time I DM there are things I would have liked to improve or maybe spent more time preparing or come up with something better on the spur of the moment when the players choose a tangent. The games generally seem to be well received and the players keep coming back every week but the nagging doubts are always there for me.
I think the doubts are frequently there for many. The more you care about the product you are presenting to your players and the desire that they have a good experience, the more likely you are to worry that you are succeeding with it.
Asking for feedback can be useful but there are two issues - the first is that they don't have any, which many folks don't since they are having a fine time and even if there might be something that could be better it is very hard to quantify exactly what could be done to change it. The second is that they may offer feedback you may or may not agree with. As DM, you need to take it in a helpful way no matter how it is expressed. It isn't an attack, it is just one person's impressions of things they think you could do better. This can happen particularly if one or more of your players also DM. Contrasting DM styles, different ways of running things, can all result in comments that may feel bothersome but they aren't intended that way - so as DM, the person needs to accept the feedback. Nothing may change. You may disagree with the feedback but at least you have a different perspective and it can sometimes give you some insight into how you might do it better.
DMing isn't easy at the beginning and some aspects like doubt may never entirely fade. However, keep on doing it, get better at it, enjoy it and doubts won't matter :)
P.S. Though I still need to use 6 fingers for the number of years I've been DMing.
I have run this year alone three ongoing campaigns and several shorter run campaigns (of systems other than D&D), being honest I frequently worry about the quality of the sessions that I deliver.
Just last night I did a setting I've never done in D&D a crooked circus/funfair there was no big combat encounter, there were loads of games and loads of chances for characters and players to solve different problems. I included a menagerie thinking that sooner or later one of the characters would release the animals (most likely the Druid). I knew that the characters didn't all have the skills to outwit the cons that the stall holders were pulling so expected frustration. I know these players really well after six months of weekly sessions. They're a great group and I expected utter chaos. Even though they told me they enjoyed it, I've never run a session like that and came away unsure of how well it worked.
The solution for me has been to ask what worked well for you? and what didn't work for you?
I have explained to my players that these questions help me design sessions that work well for them.
I also have a feedback form that I pass out once every so often (as a Google form) so that people can feedback in private if they're not comfortable speaking up in front of others.
The key though is to foster useful communication between you and players. Stars and Wishes, and Roses and Thorns are both good systems for fostering feedback to you.
DM session planning template - My version of maps for 'Lost Mine of Phandelver' - Send your party to The Circus - Other DM Resources - Maps, Tokens, Quests - 'Better' Player Character Injury Tables?
Actor, Writer, Director & Teacher by day - GM/DM in my off hours.
Give your friends a call individually but space it between each session so that you don't get overwhelm. You've just ran a session, within the next few days, just call one player and have a chat to see how things went. Don't make it about him but about how the previous session went and see if he opens up about things that he might think of.
I've just ran my first GM session last Sunday. I had enough experience as a player. Before that session, we had our session zero and I've worked with the player who was the most involve to see his point of view. Then we ran that session 1 and I've decided to call one of my other friend and have a chat with him. I knew he was the least prepared so far for his character due to lack of time and he was the one who felt less involved.
So, we've spoken for like an hour about various things. He had nothing bad to say, he was even surprise how well I've ran this. So, I've decided to express my own concerns about myself to see what he though about it. Then we've talk about situations and how i was going to handle it for the future, what had happened so far and just by talking about it eventually we've spoken about roleplay. This is where he told me, yeah lots of the guys roleplayed inside the farm house and he felt like if he did too, it would have drag the session more and they wouldn't have progress as much... With this, it allowed us to tackle how i viewed roleplay and i wanted us to focus more on it to become better and flesh out characters because we definitively need to improve and i know there is an interest for it. It immediately set the tone that he is very welcomed to roleplay instead of feeling otherwise. We've spoken about his character background to make it work in the forgotten realm and i gave him a little tips about the immediate upcoming events (nothing game breaking) that would give him a few options for roleplay.
So, it is not like i had a plan calling him, you never know how it may turns out but for me so far, this seem like a good way of handling it. I've done helpdesk support for a while in my life and i think this applies to pretty much every conversation; When you're going to have a chat with your friend, make it about "We" and "The Situation" or "yourself when it is something about you" through the conversation. There is a big difference if you tell someone "You should roleplay to become better at it" and "We all need to work on our roleplaying skill to become better so you're very welcomed to do so". You probably want the same end result but how that person will perceive the discussion will be much different.
After the next session, during the week, i may call one of the other guy and get his pulse on the game instead of rushing head first into it and calling them all right away.