In a campaign I am running, I recently finished a module and am going homebrew. I am trying my best, but my brother always talks to me after the session and points a flaw. It has happened every session since I finished the module. I don't want to kick him out, because that would cause tension between the two of us. I am considering ending the campaign, because there are consistent arguments and sessions are every other day. Should I stick with it or just call it quits?
If you are feeling this way, you need to do something about it. Otherwise things will end badly.
My first recommendation to you is that playing a session every other day is probably too much. That kind of schedule never gives you a chance to "unplug" and forget about D&D, because it's always either today or tomorrow that you are playing. If you want to get together with all those people every other day, agree to play something else some of the time. You can play board games, cards, video games, etc. -- something that doesn't require you to DM. Or make up a 2nd party, and alternate with the other DM so that you only DM every other session.
My second recommendation is to tell your brother, and if anyone else is also a source of your misery, those other folks too, that the consistent arguments are making you not want to DM anymore. Level with them. If they really want to play, they'll wise up. And if not, then just say you don't want to DM anymore.
What you shouldn't do is keep trying to DM when your players are making you miserable. This is going to lead to a bad experience for everyone -- since you can't do a good job as DM when you are this unhappy.
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WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Stick with it. If I were you I would watch lots of instructional videos and read instructional articles. Just constantly try to learn and want to get better and improve as a dm. I don’t know if the things you are doing are “wrong”, but the more knowledge you gain and the more familiar you get with the ins and outs the better the experience will be for everyone. Maybe tell him what he is doing is very discouraging and if he could go about his critiques in a manner that is not so abrasive and maybe from your perspective, if he is being civil about it, maybe actually sit down with him and learn from him, assuming he knows what he’s talking about. Also try punching him and telling him to shut up, that can sometimes take care of little brothers =p
You say that he's pointing out flaws in your session, but not the way he is doing it. From what I can imagine by the fact he's talking to you privately after the session, it seems like he's trying to help you improve your campaign, and not wanting to cause a fuss at the table, and that's at least a good starting point the solve the problem you're having. It's clearly making you feel unhappy, so I'll assume that he's giving you his feedback in a way that isn't constructive for you.
Rather than view his criticisms as a problem, maybe its worth doing a bit of work with him to improve how he is communicating his criticisms to you in the first place. After that is working better, then move onto the actual in-game issues he is having. It could make you a better DM, and you get to keep him in the campaign. Good luck!
The OP does say, and I quote here, "there are consistent arguments." This makes it sound, at least, like this is not just polite helping by the brother. However, it may be that the OP is not good at taking constructive criticism and is then the one arguing. I think we need to hear more about this to figure out what is really going on.
If it is constructive criticism and not harping, then I agree with others that you should take it and use it to improve.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Thank you all, I was really frustrated when I wrote this, you are right. He was trying to be constructive, but my ego got in the way. I have had a talk about it with him, so hopefully it'll get better
You could also treat this as a teachable moment as an older brother. Constructive criticism is great and useful, but kids (and a few adults) don’t always recognize the point where they are going overboard such that it becomes overwhelming or perhaps even insulting. They also don’t always consider that someone needs to be in a headspace to receive feedback. If you find it too much, maybe suggest bounds that work for you. For example, limit him to the ONE thing that would have most improved the game or agree to discuss how it went every few sessions as opposed to every session.
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In a campaign I am running, I recently finished a module and am going homebrew. I am trying my best, but my brother always talks to me after the session and points a flaw. It has happened every session since I finished the module. I don't want to kick him out, because that would cause tension between the two of us. I am considering ending the campaign, because there are consistent arguments and sessions are every other day. Should I stick with it or just call it quits?
I exist, and I guess so does this
If you are feeling this way, you need to do something about it. Otherwise things will end badly.
My first recommendation to you is that playing a session every other day is probably too much. That kind of schedule never gives you a chance to "unplug" and forget about D&D, because it's always either today or tomorrow that you are playing. If you want to get together with all those people every other day, agree to play something else some of the time. You can play board games, cards, video games, etc. -- something that doesn't require you to DM. Or make up a 2nd party, and alternate with the other DM so that you only DM every other session.
My second recommendation is to tell your brother, and if anyone else is also a source of your misery, those other folks too, that the consistent arguments are making you not want to DM anymore. Level with them. If they really want to play, they'll wise up. And if not, then just say you don't want to DM anymore.
What you shouldn't do is keep trying to DM when your players are making you miserable. This is going to lead to a bad experience for everyone -- since you can't do a good job as DM when you are this unhappy.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Stick with it. If I were you I would watch lots of instructional videos and read instructional articles. Just constantly try to learn and want to get better and improve as a dm. I don’t know if the things you are doing are “wrong”, but the more knowledge you gain and the more familiar you get with the ins and outs the better the experience will be for everyone. Maybe tell him what he is doing is very discouraging and if he could go about his critiques in a manner that is not so abrasive and maybe from your perspective, if he is being civil about it, maybe actually sit down with him and learn from him, assuming he knows what he’s talking about. Also try punching him and telling him to shut up, that can sometimes take care of little brothers =p
You say that he's pointing out flaws in your session, but not the way he is doing it. From what I can imagine by the fact he's talking to you privately after the session, it seems like he's trying to help you improve your campaign, and not wanting to cause a fuss at the table, and that's at least a good starting point the solve the problem you're having. It's clearly making you feel unhappy, so I'll assume that he's giving you his feedback in a way that isn't constructive for you.
Rather than view his criticisms as a problem, maybe its worth doing a bit of work with him to improve how he is communicating his criticisms to you in the first place. After that is working better, then move onto the actual in-game issues he is having. It could make you a better DM, and you get to keep him in the campaign. Good luck!
The OP does say, and I quote here, "there are consistent arguments." This makes it sound, at least, like this is not just polite helping by the brother. However, it may be that the OP is not good at taking constructive criticism and is then the one arguing. I think we need to hear more about this to figure out what is really going on.
If it is constructive criticism and not harping, then I agree with others that you should take it and use it to improve.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Thank you all, I was really frustrated when I wrote this, you are right. He was trying to be constructive, but my ego got in the way. I have had a talk about it with him, so hopefully it'll get better
I exist, and I guess so does this
You could also treat this as a teachable moment as an older brother. Constructive criticism is great and useful, but kids (and a few adults) don’t always recognize the point where they are going overboard such that it becomes overwhelming or perhaps even insulting. They also don’t always consider that someone needs to be in a headspace to receive feedback. If you find it too much, maybe suggest bounds that work for you. For example, limit him to the ONE thing that would have most improved the game or agree to discuss how it went every few sessions as opposed to every session.