What is the player criticizing? Rulings? How you run the NPCs? Map design? All of the above? It's hard to know how to help if we don't know what is being criticized.
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WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
A lot of the time, Player complaining is because what they assumed would be the type of game being run, and youassumed would be the type of game being run, are not the same.
Did you have a session zero? Are you clear on what kind of experience all your Players were expecting? Are your Players clear on the kind of Campaign you want to run?
If you did - and everyone has come to a consensus, including your problem Player - then maybe taking them to one side after the game and pointing out that they were on board with what you wanted to run at the beginning, so why the complaining?
If you didn't, then it sounds like you should do so.
It may be that your expectations for the game, and theirs, just don't mesh - in which case you have to decide if you're comfortable shifting the type of game you're running ( and how that will affect the other Players ), or whether this Player just isn't a good fit for your group.
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I’m running a pbp. They are requesting crazy combinations of feats in order to be powerful and when I said no, they got upset. When I said I was on a mobile device and it was easier to roll physical dice, they said it wouldn’t work, it’s really getting on my nerves
If the player is a friend take the game off-line and explain this is not 'Critical Role' and this is the game you run. If they have problems and concerns give the player the opportunity to talk it out and get their perspective and follow-up how you run a game and see if the player can get a better understanding. Give the player at least one game after the talk to see if anything changes if the behavior is the same maybe talk again saying it's not working out and maybe best if you part ways. (Easy said than done with friends.)
If this is not a friend and it's too much of an effort to have a talk or it seems the person is inflexible then kick them to the curb.
Kick them. If this is how they act when you’ve just started, they will not get easier to deal with over time. End it now and save yourself the headache.
DMs are by far the more valuable commodity. Players are a dime a dozen. You’ll have no trouble filling the spot.
Okay, so what I'm picking up on is they want to have an unreasonable combination of feats... are you starting the game at a higher level where they could reasonably have foregone multiple ASIs to get the feats they're asking for, or are they just demanding that you allow them additional feats because they really want them to build their specific character? If it's the former, I'd say that could be arranged, and perhaps explain why you might not allow specific feats (I know some DMs have put a blanket ban on "Lucky", for example), but if it's the latter just tell them that's not how the game works and you're not going to give them free feats just because they want them, and if they don't understand that, then it would make sense to just kick them and move on.
As for the dice thing... I'm making a few assumptions here, but I'm assuming they want you to use a digital roller where everyone can see clearly what you rolled. While I do think it's good to have that level of honesty, if they can't trust you as the DM then that's a bad sign in general. A player needs to trust their DM, and it's entirely unreasonable to force the DM to roll publicly.
I’m running a pbp. They are requesting crazy combinations of feats in order to be powerful and when I said no, they got upset. When I said I was on a mobile device and it was easier to roll physical dice, they said it wouldn’t work, it’s really getting on my nerves
Feats are optional. You are well within your rights not to use them at all. And certainly well within your rights not to let them have crazy powerful combos.
Rolling physical dice is your choice. I'd definitely arrange this with the table but... well, I'm not objective, since I roll physical dice and play online also.
I would probably ask the player to leave, unless it's a lifelong friend or something. But I can't see my lifelong friends doing that to me.
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WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Now you've kicked them, don't get drawn into a slagging match on the forum. Either post a single post posting that there were disagreements in style and format or just dont post anything [my preference is dont post anything].
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All posts come with the caveat that I don't know what I'm talking about.
I tried for discretion, I said so and so will not be joining us for the remainder and then they went and said “ I was booted” “ I don’t see how I was being too critical (which I had said only in the pm)” “I didn’t do anything wrong”
I tried for discretion, I said so and so will not be joining us for the remainder and then they went and said “ I was booted” “ I don’t see how I was being too critical (which I had said only in the pm)” “I didn’t do anything wrong”
The quote "discretion is the better part of valor" means, it's better to avoid/give up/retreat than fight a losing fight. It doesn't mean you should "be discreet." Sorry about the confusion.
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WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I just recently started a campaign and I have a player who is being very critical about most of my choices.
what should I do? It’s really getting on my nerves
What is the player criticizing? Rulings? How you run the NPCs? Map design? All of the above? It's hard to know how to help if we don't know what is being criticized.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Critical in what way?
A lot of the time, Player complaining is because what they assumed would be the type of game being run, and you assumed would be the type of game being run, are not the same.
Did you have a session zero? Are you clear on what kind of experience all your Players were expecting? Are your Players clear on the kind of Campaign you want to run?
If you did - and everyone has come to a consensus, including your problem Player - then maybe taking them to one side after the game and pointing out that they were on board with what you wanted to run at the beginning, so why the complaining?
If you didn't, then it sounds like you should do so.
It may be that your expectations for the game, and theirs, just don't mesh - in which case you have to decide if you're comfortable shifting the type of game you're running ( and how that will affect the other Players ), or whether this Player just isn't a good fit for your group.
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
I’m running a pbp. They are requesting crazy combinations of feats in order to be powerful and when I said no, they got upset. When I said I was on a mobile device and it was easier to roll physical dice, they said it wouldn’t work, it’s really getting on my nerves
Claim irreconcilable differences and kick the player?
If the player is a friend take the game off-line and explain this is not 'Critical Role' and this is the game you run. If they have problems and concerns give the player the opportunity to talk it out and get their perspective and follow-up how you run a game and see if the player can get a better understanding. Give the player at least one game after the talk to see if anything changes if the behavior is the same maybe talk again saying it's not working out and maybe best if you part ways. (Easy said than done with friends.)
If this is not a friend and it's too much of an effort to have a talk or it seems the person is inflexible then kick them to the curb.
Kick them. If this is how they act when you’ve just started, they will not get easier to deal with over time. End it now and save yourself the headache.
DMs are by far the more valuable commodity. Players are a dime a dozen. You’ll have no trouble filling the spot.
Okay, so what I'm picking up on is they want to have an unreasonable combination of feats... are you starting the game at a higher level where they could reasonably have foregone multiple ASIs to get the feats they're asking for, or are they just demanding that you allow them additional feats because they really want them to build their specific character? If it's the former, I'd say that could be arranged, and perhaps explain why you might not allow specific feats (I know some DMs have put a blanket ban on "Lucky", for example), but if it's the latter just tell them that's not how the game works and you're not going to give them free feats just because they want them, and if they don't understand that, then it would make sense to just kick them and move on.
As for the dice thing... I'm making a few assumptions here, but I'm assuming they want you to use a digital roller where everyone can see clearly what you rolled. While I do think it's good to have that level of honesty, if they can't trust you as the DM then that's a bad sign in general. A player needs to trust their DM, and it's entirely unreasonable to force the DM to roll publicly.
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Thanks for the feedback. I definitely agree, I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t being too harsh if I kicked them.
Feats are optional. You are well within your rights not to use them at all. And certainly well within your rights not to let them have crazy powerful combos.
Rolling physical dice is your choice. I'd definitely arrange this with the table but... well, I'm not objective, since I roll physical dice and play online also.
I would probably ask the player to leave, unless it's a lifelong friend or something. But I can't see my lifelong friends doing that to me.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
So after I kicked them, they proceeded to tell the forum that “I am truly mystified by why the dm kicked me.” And “I don’t think I did anything wrong”
even though I told them my grievances
Now you've kicked them, don't get drawn into a slagging match on the forum. Either post a single post posting that there were disagreements in style and format or just dont post anything [my preference is dont post anything].
All posts come with the caveat that I don't know what I'm talking about.
Discretion was the better part of valor here, I think.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I tried for discretion, I said so and so will not be joining us for the remainder and then they went and said “ I was booted” “ I don’t see how I was being too critical (which I had said only in the pm)” “I didn’t do anything wrong”
At this point, if you've given your reasons and they aren't willing to engage you reasonably, ignore them. It's not worth the time or the stress.
The quote "discretion is the better part of valor" means, it's better to avoid/give up/retreat than fight a losing fight. It doesn't mean you should "be discreet." Sorry about the confusion.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Oh got it