So I'm fairly new at DMing, and I'm really proud of how my first campaign has been going, except for one thing: I really struggle to keep my players focused on playing the game. We're all really good friends, so we often get off topic telling each other stories or sharing TikToks, and it's hard to get them all into the game again. I told them about my frustration with this tonight after our game, and they understand, so that's fine. I'm also not going to ban phones at the table bc I often text secrets to my players. The issue is I'm part of the problem! I'm a pushover who likes joining in on the off-topic conversations. So, what are your best ways to pull all your players back into the game? What do you do if your first attempt doesn't work, or only gets half the table focused? And most importantly: how do I teach myself to not be a pushover and take charge when my players get off topic?
If you are a push-over, there's really no way to teach yourself how not to be one. You learn that from your players. What is it they find so interesting? What are the TikTocks about? Is there a way of doing something similar in D&D?
Your job as a DM is to present an interesting story. You do that by coming up with an idea that you think is fun, and offering it to them. If they reject it, come up with another. Do this until it becomes clear to you that they aren't interested in you running a game. I'd say about 12 times at most of offering an adventure that gets rejected out of hand. If only one or two of your players is the problem talk it over with each of them in private. Find out what is wrong.
You can look over their backstory if they have one. A sign that there may be a problem is if there's more than a couple paragraphs. That can mean, not always mind you, the have too much invested in that character.
Start small. Start at first level. Don't be afraid to have a story that gives them few options. Some people call that a "Railroad" but those are actually just fine so long as the train stops at some of the stations along the way, and lets the player characters choose to hop off the train or not. New players and new DMs both benefit from having a nice clear path.
Don't sweat the small stuff. If you have something important to the story, find another way to give them the same information. Monsters at zero hit points die without needing death checks. Same thing with NPCs. The only time you need to do something is if whatever it is stops the story from being able to move. A new way of looking at this might be to think of a story as a river. There are rocks in it, the water flows around them. Unless one of the rocks is made out of gold, it's fine to ignore it. There's going to be a lot of rocks, and nothing matters unless there's a waterfall at the end of the story and they need a barrel.
When you have a question, take a few moments to look at the different forums. There's pretty much one for any given thing. This one is great for a new DM. The Rules & Game Mechanics forum is good for exactly what it says on the label. There's a Homebrew & House Rules forum too. Great for anything you have that isn't covered by the rules. If you ask in the Rules & Game Mechanics about a house rule, they tend to be pretty much "Rules as Written, Rules as Written, Rah Rah RAW." I spend a bit too much time in the Rules & Game Mechanics forum than I ought to.
Try not to take charge of your players, nor their characters. That's their job. You have the hardest job of anyone in the room. You have to run all the things they interact with. The combat, the environment, and the social situations. You're supposed to try to keep them in balance, but let the players pick their favorite and lean into it. Most of the rules are about combat. Even when they are doing other things, combat tends to pop up.
As long as everyone is having fun, there is no wrong way to play D&D. I don't quite remember who said that first, but they were a great deal wiser than I am.
Gonna drop this here for you to look at when you have time - Running the Game. Take a look at #29 and #32. All of them really, but those two fit here I think.
Making the occasional out of game reference or laughing about in game antics I think is acceptable. We play games with our friends so that we have something that we all enjoy doing together, but the game is the focus of the moment. The same would apply if it were movie night, the movie would be the focus. This is further complicated by your friends willingness to be drawn off topic. You've already had a conversation with the players about being focused on the game, but what is being done to immerse both you and the players into the game. Staying engaged with your narrative and keeping tension on the game will potentially prevent them from straying to something more entertaining. Think of an action movie where tension and drama are high, people don't want to leave their seat. Riveting storylines keep you from wanting to miss a moment. Banning phones is not the cure, you're just treating a symptom. Some areas to look into might be combat being slow or boring, narrative descriptions could be uninteresting, NPCs might not be fun to talk to. Maybe encourage the players to describe what their PCs are doing, design encounters that require two or more party members to interact with each other in game. Raise the stakes in combat, but allow for a moment after tension is built up to relax. Take a 10-15 minute break every hour or two to get the distractions out, then dive back in.
Lastly, you already are trying to take control of your game. If you have a player that is not engaged, pause the current scene, pan the camera over to their character and ask them what their character is doing in the current encounter. Putting the spotlight on a character will draw the player back to the game.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” - Mark Twain - Innocents Abroad
How many players we talking here? I think taking a break on occasion helps to avoid people growing restless. Also are these players serious about the game? Seems based on your writing that this is just a casual thing for most of them.
Just enjoy it. If everyone is having fun (and it sounds like you are, too), then there's nothing wrong with side-chatter. It's a social game by nature, and if people start talking about other things sometimes, that's what friends do.
And not for nothing, but we're (pretty much) all coming off a year and a half of lockdown. People miss being around people and having natural conversations where you can see your friends' mouths and shoulders, and such. Probably it's more important for everyone's mental health that you get to do something normal, like just hanging out in the same room and having fun. So maybe you don't get in much game playing you get in per session, then the campaign just lasts a bit longer.
You have to be more of an attention grabber. An experienced DM snatches the attention of the table and holds it with ease for the entire session, because every word they say is vastly more interesting than the day’s usual nonsense on TikTok or Instagram.
First of all, practice your narration voice. Lower your voice a few registers, and speak as slowly and dramatically as possible. This needs to be the default way to speak when describing things in your world, and will suck your players into it. When speaking as an NPC, use a distinct accent or tone of voice for that character. This will help bring alive the NPCs in your world. You can even record yourself practicing, that helps a lot to nail it down.
Practice your worldbuilding and storytelling. Think carefully about what your players will likely do or where they will likely go next session, and prepare content and expand they world to accommodate that. Think about how this relates to the rest of your world, and tie things together so you have a coherent narrative that is being driven exclusively by the players. This will get them far more invested, trust me.
Amp up the difficulty and seriousness. By revving up the difficulty of your combats and dungeons, making your villains more despicable, and increasing the overall threat of the world, players will quickly learn they need to pay attention and be serious when playing.
There are many other things too, but those are a few big ones. At the end of the day it depends on what you and your players actually want. Maybe you are all fine with a super casual game with lots of side distractions.
I have the same problem sometimes. I usually try to bring everyone back into the game by gently steering the convo topic away from Snapchat and Instagram and back to whatever’s going on in the Forgotten Realms. Usually this works. Good luck 😊.
Don't? It sounds like everyone's having fun, including you.
But, uh, doing character voices, or at least speaking with archaic diction ("What evils doth plague this land, my liege?") might make people feel more immersed and keep their minds off the real world. Maybe yank them back into character if they get off topic with an, "I know not of this TikTok. Is it a great clock tower atop the Cathedral of Chronos?" from an NPC.
Include in-game silliness so they can transfer their comic tendencies into character.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
So I'm fairly new at DMing, and I'm really proud of how my first campaign has been going, except for one thing: I really struggle to keep my players focused on playing the game. We're all really good friends, so we often get off topic telling each other stories or sharing TikToks, and it's hard to get them all into the game again. I told them about my frustration with this tonight after our game, and they understand, so that's fine. I'm also not going to ban phones at the table bc I often text secrets to my players. The issue is I'm part of the problem! I'm a pushover who likes joining in on the off-topic conversations. So, what are your best ways to pull all your players back into the game? What do you do if your first attempt doesn't work, or only gets half the table focused? And most importantly: how do I teach myself to not be a pushover and take charge when my players get off topic?
If you are a push-over, there's really no way to teach yourself how not to be one. You learn that from your players. What is it they find so interesting? What are the TikTocks about? Is there a way of doing something similar in D&D?
Your job as a DM is to present an interesting story. You do that by coming up with an idea that you think is fun, and offering it to them. If they reject it, come up with another. Do this until it becomes clear to you that they aren't interested in you running a game. I'd say about 12 times at most of offering an adventure that gets rejected out of hand. If only one or two of your players is the problem talk it over with each of them in private. Find out what is wrong.
You can look over their backstory if they have one. A sign that there may be a problem is if there's more than a couple paragraphs. That can mean, not always mind you, the have too much invested in that character.
Start small. Start at first level. Don't be afraid to have a story that gives them few options. Some people call that a "Railroad" but those are actually just fine so long as the train stops at some of the stations along the way, and lets the player characters choose to hop off the train or not. New players and new DMs both benefit from having a nice clear path.
Don't sweat the small stuff. If you have something important to the story, find another way to give them the same information. Monsters at zero hit points die without needing death checks. Same thing with NPCs. The only time you need to do something is if whatever it is stops the story from being able to move. A new way of looking at this might be to think of a story as a river. There are rocks in it, the water flows around them. Unless one of the rocks is made out of gold, it's fine to ignore it. There's going to be a lot of rocks, and nothing matters unless there's a waterfall at the end of the story and they need a barrel.
When you have a question, take a few moments to look at the different forums. There's pretty much one for any given thing. This one is great for a new DM. The Rules & Game Mechanics forum is good for exactly what it says on the label. There's a Homebrew & House Rules forum too. Great for anything you have that isn't covered by the rules. If you ask in the Rules & Game Mechanics about a house rule, they tend to be pretty much "Rules as Written, Rules as Written, Rah Rah RAW." I spend a bit too much time in the Rules & Game Mechanics forum than I ought to.
Try not to take charge of your players, nor their characters. That's their job. You have the hardest job of anyone in the room. You have to run all the things they interact with. The combat, the environment, and the social situations. You're supposed to try to keep them in balance, but let the players pick their favorite and lean into it. Most of the rules are about combat. Even when they are doing other things, combat tends to pop up.
As long as everyone is having fun, there is no wrong way to play D&D. I don't quite remember who said that first, but they were a great deal wiser than I am.
<Insert clever signature here>
Gonna drop this here for you to look at when you have time - Running the Game. Take a look at #29 and #32. All of them really, but those two fit here I think.
Making the occasional out of game reference or laughing about in game antics I think is acceptable. We play games with our friends so that we have something that we all enjoy doing together, but the game is the focus of the moment. The same would apply if it were movie night, the movie would be the focus. This is further complicated by your friends willingness to be drawn off topic. You've already had a conversation with the players about being focused on the game, but what is being done to immerse both you and the players into the game. Staying engaged with your narrative and keeping tension on the game will potentially prevent them from straying to something more entertaining. Think of an action movie where tension and drama are high, people don't want to leave their seat. Riveting storylines keep you from wanting to miss a moment. Banning phones is not the cure, you're just treating a symptom. Some areas to look into might be combat being slow or boring, narrative descriptions could be uninteresting, NPCs might not be fun to talk to. Maybe encourage the players to describe what their PCs are doing, design encounters that require two or more party members to interact with each other in game. Raise the stakes in combat, but allow for a moment after tension is built up to relax. Take a 10-15 minute break every hour or two to get the distractions out, then dive back in.
Lastly, you already are trying to take control of your game. If you have a player that is not engaged, pause the current scene, pan the camera over to their character and ask them what their character is doing in the current encounter. Putting the spotlight on a character will draw the player back to the game.
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” - Mark Twain - Innocents Abroad
How many players we talking here? I think taking a break on occasion helps to avoid people growing restless. Also are these players serious about the game? Seems based on your writing that this is just a casual thing for most of them.
1 shot dungeon master
Just enjoy it. If everyone is having fun (and it sounds like you are, too), then there's nothing wrong with side-chatter. It's a social game by nature, and if people start talking about other things sometimes, that's what friends do.
And not for nothing, but we're (pretty much) all coming off a year and a half of lockdown. People miss being around people and having natural conversations where you can see your friends' mouths and shoulders, and such. Probably it's more important for everyone's mental health that you get to do something normal, like just hanging out in the same room and having fun. So maybe you don't get in much game playing you get in per session, then the campaign just lasts a bit longer.
You have to be more of an attention grabber. An experienced DM snatches the attention of the table and holds it with ease for the entire session, because every word they say is vastly more interesting than the day’s usual nonsense on TikTok or Instagram.
First of all, practice your narration voice. Lower your voice a few registers, and speak as slowly and dramatically as possible. This needs to be the default way to speak when describing things in your world, and will suck your players into it. When speaking as an NPC, use a distinct accent or tone of voice for that character. This will help bring alive the NPCs in your world. You can even record yourself practicing, that helps a lot to nail it down.
Practice your worldbuilding and storytelling. Think carefully about what your players will likely do or where they will likely go next session, and prepare content and expand they world to accommodate that. Think about how this relates to the rest of your world, and tie things together so you have a coherent narrative that is being driven exclusively by the players. This will get them far more invested, trust me.
Amp up the difficulty and seriousness. By revving up the difficulty of your combats and dungeons, making your villains more despicable, and increasing the overall threat of the world, players will quickly learn they need to pay attention and be serious when playing.
There are many other things too, but those are a few big ones. At the end of the day it depends on what you and your players actually want. Maybe you are all fine with a super casual game with lots of side distractions.
I have the same problem sometimes. I usually try to bring everyone back into the game by gently steering the convo topic away from Snapchat and Instagram and back to whatever’s going on in the Forgotten Realms. Usually this works. Good luck 😊.
Don't? It sounds like everyone's having fun, including you.
But, uh, doing character voices, or at least speaking with archaic diction ("What evils doth plague this land, my liege?") might make people feel more immersed and keep their minds off the real world. Maybe yank them back into character if they get off topic with an, "I know not of this TikTok. Is it a great clock tower atop the Cathedral of Chronos?" from an NPC.
Include in-game silliness so they can transfer their comic tendencies into character.