Do all DMs have imposter syndrome? My players compliment me on my game and talk about it between sessions, but are they just stroking my ego?
One thing I think to remember when you feel like you're not doing it perfectly is that your players know far less about what you're doing wrong than you do. And if you feel like your descriptions or NPC voices are less than your expectations, remember your players are filling in the gaps with their imagination.
Question 1. I think many do. Frankly anyone whose activity's sweet spot lands in authoritative communication styles does.
I must disagree from the last sentence. My first experience with roleplaying games was with a DM who perfectly suits into 'authoritative sweet spot' and he was the opposite from a imposter syndrome guy. In fact he felt himself as a mastermind of DMing and wasn't able to saw him self as a failer even when showed as one.
Question 1. I think many do. Frankly anyone whose activity's sweet spot lands in authoritative communication styles does.
I must disagree from the last sentence. My first experience with roleplaying games was with a DM who perfectly suits into 'authoritative sweet spot' and he was the opposite from a imposter syndrome guy. In fact he felt himself as a mastermind of DMing and wasn't able to saw him self as a failer even when showed as one.
Did that him make him a good DM to play with or a bad one? If bad I guess I can take heart that maybe my imposter syndrome is a symptom of being a good DM. Most people who care and want to do their best are acutely aware of their flaws.
Do all DMs have imposter syndrome? My players compliment me on my game and talk about it between sessions, but are they just stroking my ego?
One thing I think to remember when you feel like you're not doing it perfectly is that your players know far less about what you're doing wrong than you do. And if you feel like your descriptions or NPC voices are less than your expectations, remember your players are filling in the gaps with their imagination.
I used to have this feeling of imposter many times until I start to make more improvised sessions.
What I realize than was that how much effort I put on pre-script a session more the players choose unpredictable roads for the narrative and I end up sessions thinking "have I make my self unclear so they run out from the planed story-line? They must say they enjoy it because they don't know the design fails behind that non-planned scritpt they run into! They would enjoy that much if they follow what I had planned?"
But when I saw the potential behind improvised story-line I start to see that they're choices influence matters too much more than a well pre-scripted story and start to see my role as DM to just make the knots between theire narratives and the worlds story to keep it fun.
Those sessions that everything I wrote goes up and I must to recreate the narrative over the players choices are the ones I end feeling that we have the best time playing and also the ones I feel more sinserity on the players feedbacks.
Question 1. I think many do. Frankly anyone whose activity's sweet spot lands in authoritative communication styles does.
I must disagree from the last sentence. My first experience with roleplaying games was with a DM who perfectly suits into 'authoritative sweet spot' and he was the opposite from a imposter syndrome guy. In fact he felt himself as a mastermind of DMing and wasn't able to saw him self as a failer even when showed as one.
Did that him make him a good DM to play with or a bad one? If bad I guess I can take heart that maybe my imposter syndrome is a symptom of being a good DM. Most people who care and want to do their best are acutely aware of their flaws.
I mean, he was a terrible DM. He was banned from the group and we start to learn or selves how to DM.
I do agree that most the DM that have that imposter syndrome are good DMs. At least at my experiences, those who show themselves worriend of being bad where those who make the funniest tables. And thats what the imposter syndrome is, the sensation of a ilusory failure, so even when they're not the best, they are doing it better than they think so.
Also, as you mention "if you feel like your descriptions or NPC voices are less than your expectations" I may remember that this imposter syndrome are much relied on how roleplay today have become popular into stream-shows with a lot of resources as CR, for exemple.
We watch how Mercer and his team make such incredible drama and sometimes forgot that behind their show are a bunch of resources, a greater team than those who actually play, a financed time on preps and also a party made of stabilized-carreer voice actors. So we may even uncunciouslly compare that experience with ours and become unfair critcs of our work.
I mean, thats all that discussion about the digital era and the imposter syndrome become a common thing because of how and what we consume into social media etc and it's also a valid point about RPGs as much as anything else.
Question 1. I think many do. Frankly anyone whose activity's sweet spot lands in authoritative communication styles does.
I must disagree from the last sentence. My first experience with roleplaying games was with a DM who perfectly suits into 'authoritative sweet spot' and he was the opposite from a imposter syndrome guy. In fact he felt himself as a mastermind of DMing and wasn't able to saw him self as a failer even when showed as one.
Sorry, I don't think you understand what I mean by "authoritative sweet spot" since your case in point is off the mark of what I'm talking about. By authoritative I'm talking about a specific style used in psychology to discuss teacher, leadership and parenting dynamics. You seem to be discussing an authoritarian style, likely tinged by narcissism. The authoritative style is dispassionate, humble, mindful and caring. "Mastermind" types are compensating for some other perceived lack by assigning an over inflating sense of worth and frankly righteousness to their task, that's authoritarian. Permissive and neglectful are the other two archetypes, the latter really shouldn't be anywhere near a table, at least not behind the screen, the former some players think they want but their games sort of go entropic real fast.
Authoritative personality types, no what they know as well as the limitations of that knowledge and exercise that position for the greater benefit of the group. It's to be confident without being overbearing, to actively listen, to keep account including holding oneself to account ... it's a sweet spot because it's a balancing act of a lot of traits that in many folks work at cross purposes.
Basically an authoritative DM usually knows they're good enough, but of course has moments where they reflect and in process question themself.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
I kind of feel like that authoritative describes me as a DM, but sometimes I worry I might be that authoritarian narcissist. If you worry you're a narcissist, does that mean you're not, since a narcissist would never admit a flaw?
Also, as you mention "if you feel like your descriptions or NPC voices are less than your expectations" I may remember that this imposter syndrome are much relied on how roleplay today have become popular into stream-shows with a lot of resources as CR, for exemple.
We watch how Mercer and his team make such incredible drama and sometimes forgot that behind their show are a bunch of resources, a greater team than those who actually play, a financed time on preps and also a party made of stabilized-carreer voice actors. So we may even uncunciouslly compare that experience with ours and become unfair critcs of our work.
I mean, thats all that discussion about the digital era and the imposter syndrome become a common thing because of how and what we consume into social media etc and it's also a valid point about RPGs as much as anything else.
You're right, but I also have a great DM who I aspire to be as good as, who does voices and rich plot and character development in a collaborative way and has good immersion and worldbuilding.
Question 1. I think many do. Frankly anyone whose activity's sweet spot lands in authoritative communication styles does.
I must disagree from the last sentence. My first experience with roleplaying games was with a DM who perfectly suits into 'authoritative sweet spot' and he was the opposite from a imposter syndrome guy. In fact he felt himself as a mastermind of DMing and wasn't able to saw him self as a failer even when showed as one.
Sorry, I don't think you understand what I mean by "authoritative sweet spot" since your case in point is off the mark of what I'm talking about. By authoritative I'm talking about a specific style used in psychology to discuss teacher, leadership and parenting dynamics. You seem to be discussing an authoritarian style, likely tinged by narcissism. The authoritative style is dispassionate, humble, mindful and caring. "Mastermind" types are compensating for some other perceived lack by assigning an over inflating sense of worth and frankly righteousness to their task, that's authoritarian. Permissive and neglectful are the other two archetypes, the latter really shouldn't be anywhere near a table, at least not behind the screen, the former some players think they want but their games sort of go entropic real fast.
Authoritative personality types, no what they know as well as the limitations of that knowledge and exercise that position for the greater benefit of the group. It's to be confident without being overbearing, to actively listen, to keep account including holding oneself to account ... it's a sweet spot because it's a balancing act of a lot of traits that in many folks work at cross purposes.
Basically an authoritative DM usually knows they're good enough, but of course has moments where they reflect and in process question themself.
Yep. Sorry. I have made a poor translation of the word
Also, as you mention "if you feel like your descriptions or NPC voices are less than your expectations" I may remember that this imposter syndrome are much relied on how roleplay today have become popular into stream-shows with a lot of resources as CR, for exemple.
We watch how Mercer and his team make such incredible drama and sometimes forgot that behind their show are a bunch of resources, a greater team than those who actually play, a financed time on preps and also a party made of stabilized-carreer voice actors. So we may even uncunciouslly compare that experience with ours and become unfair critcs of our work.
I mean, thats all that discussion about the digital era and the imposter syndrome become a common thing because of how and what we consume into social media etc and it's also a valid point about RPGs as much as anything else.
You're right, but I also have a great DM who I aspire to be as good as, who does voices and rich plot and character development in a collaborative way and has good immersion and worldbuilding.
Yep.
But thats the point. Theres a lot of good DMs that can make voices and all the stuff even if its not a professional actor. What I meant to call your attention is that sometimes we make a unfair comparisson between our results and other's without taking consideretion on the different efourts, experience, and skills.
I gon make a not-so-good example: When I DM I know that I may not be that good at voices but I don't rely on that to judge the results of my work becouse I know that would be unfair to me. I'm pretty bad at it, and also in a lot of other things, so I judge my results considering my limitations. Also, I don't have lots of free time to prep sessions, I study social ciences and also work full time as an Illustrator, so what I take in account when I make a critic over my work is how those things I know are benefiting my roleplaying. I make sure to that I give good visual descriptions or prep good avatars to compensate my lack of voice acting and fast-prep sessions.
I don't meant to say you must be good at draw dungeons or create deep social relationtips in your world. Just to make sure you not demand from yourself more than you can just cause there's someone who are good at it, you know.
Do all DMs have imposter syndrome? My players compliment me on my game and talk about it between sessions, but are they just stroking my ego?
One thing I think to remember when you feel like you're not doing it perfectly is that your players know far less about what you're doing wrong than you do. And if you feel like your descriptions or NPC voices are less than your expectations, remember your players are filling in the gaps with their imagination.
I think mostly do. I feel like it has to do with the profile of people that take to the hobby - especially those who take on the DM mantle.
I had players tell me that they had the best session of their lives, but I lost my sleep thinking about all the mistakes I had done and how I haven´t did everything I could to provide the best experience for all players.
When you build something it's easier to nitpick on the things that did not went the way you wanted or things that you thought were not up to standards in the first place. When you are just enjoying a new experience, it's easier to not get lost on the responsability that is to build stuff.
But it's hard to let go, because, for some people, trying to build the "perfect" experience is part of the thrill of DMing. For me is just how to balance the "perfectionist" and the "punisher" that struggle inside and try not to let them kill me in the process.
After 17 years of this, I don't know if I ever will be fully chill about DMing to the point that I don't nitpick on every single session, but I think that's ok too.
Do all DMs have imposter syndrome? My players compliment me on my game and talk about it between sessions, but are they just stroking my ego?
One thing I think to remember when you feel like you're not doing it perfectly is that your players know far less about what you're doing wrong than you do. And if you feel like your descriptions or NPC voices are less than your expectations, remember your players are filling in the gaps with their imagination.
I think mostly do. I feel like it has to do with the profile of people that take to the hobby - especially those who take on the DM mantle.
I had players tell me that they had the best session of their lives, but I lost my sleep thinking about all the mistakes I had done and how I haven´t did everything I could to provide the best experience for all players.
When you build something it's easier to nitpick on the things that did not went the way you wanted or things that you thought were not up to standards in the first place. When you are just enjoying a new experience, it's easier to not get lost on the responsability that is to build stuff.
But it's hard to let go, because, for some people, trying to build the "perfect" experience is part of the thrill of DMing. For me is just how to balance the "perfectionist" and the "punisher" that struggle inside and try not to let them kill me in the process.
After 17 years of this, I don't know if I ever will be fully chill about DMing to the point that I don't nitpick on every single session, but I think that's ok too.
Do all DMs have imposter syndrome? My players compliment me on my game and talk about it between sessions, but are they just stroking my ego?
One thing I think to remember when you feel like you're not doing it perfectly is that your players know far less about what you're doing wrong than you do. And if you feel like your descriptions or NPC voices are less than your expectations, remember your players are filling in the gaps with their imagination.
I think mostly do. I feel like it has to do with the profile of people that take to the hobby - especially those who take on the DM mantle.
I had players tell me that they had the best session of their lives, but I lost my sleep thinking about all the mistakes I had done and how I haven´t did everything I could to provide the best experience for all players.
When you build something it's easier to nitpick on the things that did not went the way you wanted or things that you thought were not up to standards in the first place. When you are just enjoying a new experience, it's easier to not get lost on the responsability that is to build stuff.
But it's hard to let go, because, for some people, trying to build the "perfect" experience is part of the thrill of DMing. For me is just how to balance the "perfectionist" and the "punisher" that struggle inside and try not to let them kill me in the process.
After 17 years of this, I don't know if I ever will be fully chill about DMing to the point that I don't nitpick on every single session, but I think that's ok too.
Oh no, it doesn't go away after 17 years?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Maybe for some. For me is about learning to deal with my internal struggles. You're gonna have to figure it out by yourself.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
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Do all DMs have imposter syndrome? My players compliment me on my game and talk about it between sessions, but are they just stroking my ego?
One thing I think to remember when you feel like you're not doing it perfectly is that your players know far less about what you're doing wrong than you do. And if you feel like your descriptions or NPC voices are less than your expectations, remember your players are filling in the gaps with their imagination.
I think you have answered your question
Question 1. I think many do. Frankly anyone whose activity's sweet spot lands in authoritative communication styles does.
Question 2. They might be, or they might not be. The authenticity of the glad-handing doesn't matter as long as you enjoy their playing.
Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
I must disagree from the last sentence. My first experience with roleplaying games was with a DM who perfectly suits into 'authoritative sweet spot' and he was the opposite from a imposter syndrome guy. In fact he felt himself as a mastermind of DMing and wasn't able to saw him self as a failer even when showed as one.
Did that him make him a good DM to play with or a bad one? If bad I guess I can take heart that maybe my imposter syndrome is a symptom of being a good DM. Most people who care and want to do their best are acutely aware of their flaws.
I used to have this feeling of imposter many times until I start to make more improvised sessions.
What I realize than was that how much effort I put on pre-script a session more the players choose unpredictable roads for the narrative and I end up sessions thinking "have I make my self unclear so they run out from the planed story-line? They must say they enjoy it because they don't know the design fails behind that non-planned scritpt they run into! They would enjoy that much if they follow what I had planned?"
But when I saw the potential behind improvised story-line I start to see that they're choices influence matters too much more than a well pre-scripted story and start to see my role as DM to just make the knots between theire narratives and the worlds story to keep it fun.
Those sessions that everything I wrote goes up and I must to recreate the narrative over the players choices are the ones I end feeling that we have the best time playing and also the ones I feel more sinserity on the players feedbacks.
I mean, he was a terrible DM. He was banned from the group and we start to learn or selves how to DM.
I do agree that most the DM that have that imposter syndrome are good DMs. At least at my experiences, those who show themselves worriend of being bad where those who make the funniest tables. And thats what the imposter syndrome is, the sensation of a ilusory failure, so even when they're not the best, they are doing it better than they think so.
Also, as you mention "if you feel like your descriptions or NPC voices are less than your expectations" I may remember that this imposter syndrome are much relied on how roleplay today have become popular into stream-shows with a lot of resources as CR, for exemple.
We watch how Mercer and his team make such incredible drama and sometimes forgot that behind their show are a bunch of resources, a greater team than those who actually play, a financed time on preps and also a party made of stabilized-carreer voice actors. So we may even uncunciouslly compare that experience with ours and become unfair critcs of our work.
I mean, thats all that discussion about the digital era and the imposter syndrome become a common thing because of how and what we consume into social media etc and it's also a valid point about RPGs as much as anything else.
Sorry, I don't think you understand what I mean by "authoritative sweet spot" since your case in point is off the mark of what I'm talking about. By authoritative I'm talking about a specific style used in psychology to discuss teacher, leadership and parenting dynamics. You seem to be discussing an authoritarian style, likely tinged by narcissism. The authoritative style is dispassionate, humble, mindful and caring. "Mastermind" types are compensating for some other perceived lack by assigning an over inflating sense of worth and frankly righteousness to their task, that's authoritarian. Permissive and neglectful are the other two archetypes, the latter really shouldn't be anywhere near a table, at least not behind the screen, the former some players think they want but their games sort of go entropic real fast.
Authoritative personality types, no what they know as well as the limitations of that knowledge and exercise that position for the greater benefit of the group. It's to be confident without being overbearing, to actively listen, to keep account including holding oneself to account ... it's a sweet spot because it's a balancing act of a lot of traits that in many folks work at cross purposes.
Basically an authoritative DM usually knows they're good enough, but of course has moments where they reflect and in process question themself.
Jander Sunstar is the thinking person's Drizzt, fight me.
I kind of feel like that authoritative describes me as a DM, but sometimes I worry I might be that authoritarian narcissist. If you worry you're a narcissist, does that mean you're not, since a narcissist would never admit a flaw?
You're right, but I also have a great DM who I aspire to be as good as, who does voices and rich plot and character development in a collaborative way and has good immersion and worldbuilding.
Yep. Sorry. I have made a poor translation of the word
Yep.
But thats the point. Theres a lot of good DMs that can make voices and all the stuff even if its not a professional actor. What I meant to call your attention is that sometimes we make a unfair comparisson between our results and other's without taking consideretion on the different efourts, experience, and skills.
I gon make a not-so-good example: When I DM I know that I may not be that good at voices but I don't rely on that to judge the results of my work becouse I know that would be unfair to me. I'm pretty bad at it, and also in a lot of other things, so I judge my results considering my limitations. Also, I don't have lots of free time to prep sessions, I study social ciences and also work full time as an Illustrator, so what I take in account when I make a critic over my work is how those things I know are benefiting my roleplaying. I make sure to that I give good visual descriptions or prep good avatars to compensate my lack of voice acting and fast-prep sessions.
I don't meant to say you must be good at draw dungeons or create deep social relationtips in your world. Just to make sure you not demand from yourself more than you can just cause there's someone who are good at it, you know.
I think mostly do. I feel like it has to do with the profile of people that take to the hobby - especially those who take on the DM mantle.
I had players tell me that they had the best session of their lives, but I lost my sleep thinking about all the mistakes I had done and how I haven´t did everything I could to provide the best experience for all players.
When you build something it's easier to nitpick on the things that did not went the way you wanted or things that you thought were not up to standards in the first place. When you are just enjoying a new experience, it's easier to not get lost on the responsability that is to build stuff.
But it's hard to let go, because, for some people, trying to build the "perfect" experience is part of the thrill of DMing. For me is just how to balance the "perfectionist" and the "punisher" that struggle inside and try not to let them kill me in the process.
After 17 years of this, I don't know if I ever will be fully chill about DMing to the point that I don't nitpick on every single session, but I think that's ok too.
Oh no, it doesn't go away after 17 years?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Maybe for some. For me is about learning to deal with my internal struggles. You're gonna have to figure it out by yourself.