So, I recently turned 60...and for the past couple of years, I have been finding it difficult to run multiple campaigns per month. Over the past year, have been finishing up the ones I had going..land going forward, I only intend to run one homebrewed campaign, the first 3 weeks of each month.
But here's my problem: I have a pool of 140+ players who like me as DM. With 5 players in the campaign I'm launching in mid-January that leaves out 135+ players...and this is a 2 year campaign. I'm feeling a liitle bad about that.
A 6th spot is meant for someone who has never had me as DM... traditionally, I always do that. I like doing it, and that is why I have so many people now.
I wish I could run 3 games weekly like I used to, but I don't have the mental or physical ability anymore.
This new campaign has been in development for 4 years. I want to make it the best thing I've done.
But how do I deal with the feeling that I am letting people down? They're not complaining. This is my internal guilt.
Assuming you aren't being paid, you don't have an obligation, it's just a hobby. However, if you want to help make sure those other people have games... arrange for succession. You have a large pool of gaming acquaintances. It's probable some of them have an interest in DMing, but creating your own gaming group is hard, so use your contacts to assist that. It doesn't even have to be you doing most of that, there's a good chance someone in that number of people will have the ability and willingness to organize.
That will be added work, but if you can create a society that can keep going without you... that's a thing to be proud of.
I’d say you just lay it all out for them. I’m sure they’ll understand. And maybe use it as a chance for some of these baby birds to start their own nests. You might be able to mentor others and encourage them to develop campaigns of their own. At 140 people, probably many already have, but offering to help others get their own ideas off the ground can maybe help ease yourself back.
It's okay to pace yourself. Knowing your limits and giving yourself time to recuperate your energies will allow you to keep playing much longer. And that doesn't necessarily mean you can never ramp back up again. Commit only to what you know you can handle. But maybe someday you'll find yourself with a bit of extra energy and a great idea for a short campaign. So you could run a side-campaign for a small group that only lasts a handful of sessions, maybe a dozen at most. And then it's back to the easy pace.
And like the previous two folks have mentioned, out of 140 Padawans, there's got to be at least a handful who are ready to achieve the rank of Master.
Assuming that at age 60 you still have a full time job and not retired.
It now takes longer to do things, then it use to. Accept that age not only will slow you down, but will also prevent you from doing things that you love.
Slowing down and having to have other people do things that you always have done is one of those unsung issues with old age.
Accept help on your terms. For all of your games as mentioned, find a person that wants to DM. II do not think you should have the same person for all games but have a couple of people. Start to mentor them on DM, but also let them use their own imagination and way. Do not make them a carbon copy of you, but instill the basic process and way to have things done right and complete. Your gift to those 140 people is to allow them to continue to play with the same enjoyment when you reach a stage you can no longer DM at all in any capacity. Not all DMS will stick with it like you have either no matter their intentions. so by beginning now, you will ensure those 140 people will have decades of enjoyment in the game you love.
No one knows when their personal mental capacity will diminish, and how fast the decline will occur. Some people have a degradation that brings a side effect of becoming easily agitated and quick to anger. Points no DM should have in the game.
So congratulations on recognizing your own mental aging process. You still have many years left, probably a couple of decades, however, begin to train your successor(s) now, while you are able to.
You don't have an obligation to provide them with fun; you do this because it's fun for you, and if it's not something you can do any more, it's fine to stop or cut back. With that large a pool, there are other people running their own games. (Even before, you weren't running for all those 140 people, I hope.)
If you're still feeling the itch to run more games, you might want to try self-contained short games -- you can prep much of it in advance as your time and energy allows, then recruit players, run a few (or even one) sessions, and be done.
(Also, it's possible it's not just old age. Long covid can have effects on mental acuity and energy levels, and it might be worth looking into it with your doctor, particularly if it was a relatively sudden drop-off.)
I feel you and want to add to the advise that you teach others to DM (love that!).
One of the things I've done every few years is host a D&D party with my gaming friends. I invite everyone over for a pot luck and make clear that the one thing everyone has in common is a love of D&D. That's the core topic and everyone shares it.
This helps to connect gamers and launch new campaigns.
...and now I have a new goal before the year ends.
I'm in my mid-50s and absolutely relate btw. You aren't alone!
1) You shouldn't feel guilty. Real life is always greater than a game and D&D is just a game in the end. If you need to slow down or cut back a bit then do so. Folks usually DM because they like it not because they feel obligated or needed to do so.
2) If you want to do something that might not be too labor intensive and might be fun ... (building on comments in previous posts). Run a couple of DM training campaigns that last 4 or 5 sessions or about a month each. Each one might produce 5-6 folks who would like to try DMing and you have a pool of 135 people to draw on for both possible DMs and players for their nascent campaigns.
While running the 1 month campaign you can cover things like your design process, how you make the games fun for people, how you approach running npcs, monsters, or encounters. Just add a bit more explanation as you run through the campaign covering why you make certain decisions or rulings in response to player actions.
This might be a relatively low impact way to address your guilty feelings while not investing a huge amount of time or effort. (though to be honest, you don't have any reason to feel guilty - all of the folks you have played with have already had the pleasure of enjoying your games ... anything else is simply a bonus.
Something i used to do in your situation if i may suggest, you can always allow some players to witness your game, as long as they keep quiet not to disturb gameplay flow.
That can let them see your game playstyle, roleplay, combat the fun laught and everything in between...
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
So, I recently turned 60...and for the past couple of years, I have been finding it difficult to run multiple campaigns per month. Over the past year, have been finishing up the ones I had going..land going forward, I only intend to run one homebrewed campaign, the first 3 weeks of each month.
But here's my problem: I have a pool of 140+ players who like me as DM. With 5 players in the campaign I'm launching in mid-January that leaves out 135+ players...and this is a 2 year campaign. I'm feeling a liitle bad about that.
A 6th spot is meant for someone who has never had me as DM... traditionally, I always do that. I like doing it, and that is why I have so many people now.
I wish I could run 3 games weekly like I used to, but I don't have the mental or physical ability anymore.
This new campaign has been in development for 4 years. I want to make it the best thing I've done.
But how do I deal with the feeling that I am letting people down? They're not complaining. This is my internal guilt.
Assuming you aren't being paid, you don't have an obligation, it's just a hobby. However, if you want to help make sure those other people have games... arrange for succession. You have a large pool of gaming acquaintances. It's probable some of them have an interest in DMing, but creating your own gaming group is hard, so use your contacts to assist that. It doesn't even have to be you doing most of that, there's a good chance someone in that number of people will have the ability and willingness to organize.
That will be added work, but if you can create a society that can keep going without you... that's a thing to be proud of.
I’d say you just lay it all out for them. I’m sure they’ll understand.
And maybe use it as a chance for some of these baby birds to start their own nests. You might be able to mentor others and encourage them to develop campaigns of their own. At 140 people, probably many already have, but offering to help others get their own ideas off the ground can maybe help ease yourself back.
It's okay to pace yourself. Knowing your limits and giving yourself time to recuperate your energies will allow you to keep playing much longer. And that doesn't necessarily mean you can never ramp back up again. Commit only to what you know you can handle. But maybe someday you'll find yourself with a bit of extra energy and a great idea for a short campaign. So you could run a side-campaign for a small group that only lasts a handful of sessions, maybe a dozen at most. And then it's back to the easy pace.
And like the previous two folks have mentioned, out of 140 Padawans, there's got to be at least a handful who are ready to achieve the rank of Master.
Anzio Faro. Protector Aasimar light cleric. Lvl 18.
Viktor Gavriil. White dragonborn grave cleric. Lvl 20.
Ikram Sahir ibn-Malik al-Sayyid Ra'ad. Brass dragonborn draconic sorcerer Lvl 9. Fire elemental devil.
Wrangler of cats.
Assuming that at age 60 you still have a full time job and not retired.
It now takes longer to do things, then it use to. Accept that age not only will slow you down, but will also prevent you from doing things that you love.
Slowing down and having to have other people do things that you always have done is one of those unsung issues with old age.
Accept help on your terms. For all of your games as mentioned, find a person that wants to DM. II do not think you should have the same person for all games but have a couple of people. Start to mentor them on DM, but also let them use their own imagination and way. Do not make them a carbon copy of you, but instill the basic process and way to have things done right and complete. Your gift to those 140 people is to allow them to continue to play with the same enjoyment when you reach a stage you can no longer DM at all in any capacity. Not all DMS will stick with it like you have either no matter their intentions. so by beginning now, you will ensure those 140 people will have decades of enjoyment in the game you love.
No one knows when their personal mental capacity will diminish, and how fast the decline will occur. Some people have a degradation that brings a side effect of becoming easily agitated and quick to anger. Points no DM should have in the game.
So congratulations on recognizing your own mental aging process. You still have many years left, probably a couple of decades, however, begin to train your successor(s) now, while you are able to.
Have you considered simulacrum?
You don't have an obligation to provide them with fun; you do this because it's fun for you, and if it's not something you can do any more, it's fine to stop or cut back. With that large a pool, there are other people running their own games. (Even before, you weren't running for all those 140 people, I hope.)
If you're still feeling the itch to run more games, you might want to try self-contained short games -- you can prep much of it in advance as your time and energy allows, then recruit players, run a few (or even one) sessions, and be done.
(Also, it's possible it's not just old age. Long covid can have effects on mental acuity and energy levels, and it might be worth looking into it with your doctor, particularly if it was a relatively sudden drop-off.)
I feel you and want to add to the advise that you teach others to DM (love that!).
One of the things I've done every few years is host a D&D party with my gaming friends. I invite everyone over for a pot luck and make clear that the one thing everyone has in common is a love of D&D. That's the core topic and everyone shares it.
This helps to connect gamers and launch new campaigns.
...and now I have a new goal before the year ends.
I'm in my mid-50s and absolutely relate btw. You aren't alone!
Just a couple comments :
1) You shouldn't feel guilty. Real life is always greater than a game and D&D is just a game in the end. If you need to slow down or cut back a bit then do so. Folks usually DM because they like it not because they feel obligated or needed to do so.
2) If you want to do something that might not be too labor intensive and might be fun ... (building on comments in previous posts). Run a couple of DM training campaigns that last 4 or 5 sessions or about a month each. Each one might produce 5-6 folks who would like to try DMing and you have a pool of 135 people to draw on for both possible DMs and players for their nascent campaigns.
While running the 1 month campaign you can cover things like your design process, how you make the games fun for people, how you approach running npcs, monsters, or encounters. Just add a bit more explanation as you run through the campaign covering why you make certain decisions or rulings in response to player actions.
This might be a relatively low impact way to address your guilty feelings while not investing a huge amount of time or effort. (though to be honest, you don't have any reason to feel guilty - all of the folks you have played with have already had the pleasure of enjoying your games ... anything else is simply a bonus.
Something i used to do in your situation if i may suggest, you can always allow some players to witness your game, as long as they keep quiet not to disturb gameplay flow.
That can let them see your game playstyle, roleplay, combat the fun laught and everything in between...