Hi! I hope you all are doing good I just had a weird question. I've been a DM before, but mostly play by post. I've done a couple campaigns in person but I always get so nervous and panic during them. Its either I get worried they aren't having enough fun (not enough fights/or too many fights/boring roleplay/too much roleplay), that they will get mad at me if something happens to their character, or that they'll say I'm doing it wrong because I prefer to do homebrew campaigns.
My roommate persuaded me to restart an old campaign she was in, I'm already starting to feel anxious about it. Would anyone by chance have any times on how to stay calm? I'd rather not be anxious and nervous, the players deserve to have fun.
This is a tough one, but yes I still get nervous. In the sense that I'm not sure how an encounter will play out, or a situation requiring knowledge of specifics, challenges I've added etc. I want to HEAR the cortisol dump across the microphone, I want the players to be engaged and have a real sense of danger, I want them to feel touched when a moment happens. I don't have a particular ritual for overcoming nerves I'm afraid BUT... there are times that I do go in front of a mirror, tell myself that I'm going to run this game well, that I've put together a decent story, and that I'm going to leave it all out there as a performer.
Well, first, your roommate ASKED you to restart a campaign because she enjoyed it so much, so you obviously have some things going for you. Sure, it's fine to be nervous. It may even HELP to be a little bit nervous. But if it's ruining your own enjoyment of the game, that's no good.
As far as tips, they sound corny, but breathing exercises, positive visualization, interrupting negative trains of thought, using a posture that indicates confidence, all the usual stuff for stage fright and anxiety in general.
On the day of the game, maybe go for a run to get your endorphins going, set a kitchen timer and give yourself 10 minutes to freak out, then stop when the timer goes off. Make some tea for your voice, run through a pre-game checklist, then say hi to your friends who you're going to have fun with.
I want to assure you that getting nervous before you play/DM is completely normal. I get anxious EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I'm a professional performer with decades of experience in front of an audience, on stage, and being a DM, and I experience everything from small butterflies to full on panic attacks before any game I run.
How to deal with those nerves is different for everyone. Some people are able to work through it just because they know that once the game starts the nerves turn to excitement. Others have prep rituals that help calm them. For me, I have learned to recognize my own anxious symptoms and just acknowledging them helps deal with them. I also had a professor once tell me one of the best pieces of advice I ever got that still helps me deal with pre-performance issues: "Nerves are a sign that you care. And people can see that you care and will root for you."
Its either I get worried they aren't having enough fun (not enough fights/or too many fights/boring roleplay/too much roleplay), that they will get mad at me if something happens to their character, or that they'll say I'm doing it wrong because I prefer to do homebrew campaigns.
These are all super normal things that DMs worry about! What can help, especially with some of the specific DM anxieties you have, is to talk with your players. Have a session zero, even if you've already started to play, and just ask them for their opinions on stuff. Do check ins every so often and ask the questions you are concerned about. Most players will tell you, because in the end this is a game that everyone wants to have fun playing, and the best way to get the fun you want is to tell the DM what that is. And the best way to know you're on the right track is to ask.
I hope this helps, and you know you're not alone in your nerves, and that you continue to find joy in being a DM! Because it's obvious you care about your players having a good time, and that's how I know you're a good DM.
You must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over you and through you. And when it has gone past you will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only you will remain.
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"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
I can completely identify with this. I am currently eight plus months and 36 sessions in to a home brew campaign I worked on for a couple of years and I have shared all of these worries. I think it comes with the job.
Do you want to know my trick? It is absolutely silly and I will be the first to acknowledge that, but what helped me, especially right before a session is that I bought a "lucky" bracelet. Yes, I am serious. It is made of leather and has a brass dragon charm/pendant. I keep it in my dice tray and put it one before each session. Reasonably, I know it is just a symbol, but symbols can be powerful things and we, those of us writing and running campaigns, are imaginative and creative people. We have to be or we would not get ourselves into this position. As much as it helps knowing I am not alone, going over my notes, or hearing my players say they are having fun, I can still feel myself relax when I pick up that silly bracelet.
So, I guess my advise is go ahead and find your own symbol for luck. Maybe a special D20 or a figure or charm. Just something that tells you that you can relax. That it doesn't matter if you forget a rule or fudge a fact. We are all fallible; and players are too. Mistakes will happen. Just let them go and focus on the larger story. After all, you deserve to have fun too.
You must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over you and through you. And when it has gone past you will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only you will remain.
LETS GO. good quote. Ive DMed once and almost started crying cos of how nervous i was. You'll do great
I don't really get nervous per se. I have a good group and they seem to be having a lot of fun so, that helps. I was super nervous the first night just because I had never DMed for 3/4 of the players. (Literally, 3 of the 4.)
I do want to address one thing though:
that they will get mad at me if something happens to their character
Work this out in session 0. Ask if they will get mad if something bad happens to their character. See what they say. Hopefully, they will say "of course not -- that's part of the game."
IMO, if my players said "yes, we will get mad at you if something bad happens to our character," I would say "OK, I understand... someone else want to DM?" Because I do not want to run a campaign, or play in a campaign, where bad things cannot happen to the characters. Bad things have to happen to characters to create tension and drama.
Think about your favorite movies or books. Lord of the Rings -- bad things happen to the characters constantly. Chased by Ringwraiths. Stabbed with a cursed dagger, and the scar never heals. Succmbing to the power of The Ring. Captured by Uruk Hai. Etc. Or how about Harry Potter... Parents killed. Aunt and Uncle treat him like a cockroach. Bullied in school. Attempts on his life every year. Blood taken to rez his mortal foe. Friends killed in the final book.
This type of thing is necessary in dramatic gameplay. It is the stuff legends are made of. No one remembers the story of the character who went nowhere dangerous, risked nothing, and came back with free loot. They remember the story of the character who died, horn blowing, sword swinging, protecting two little hobbits from a swarm of orcs. They remember the story of the character who clawed and scraped his way, starving and dying of thirst, numb from cold, and had his finger bitten off and blood running down his hand while almost falling into the pit of Mount Doom. They remember the story of the Wizard who stood on the bridge barring the path of the Balrog and said, "You! Shall! Not! Pass!" and then fell into the crack with the Balrog. They remember the little house elf who saved everyone and whose death and burial taught Harry Potter the meaning of love and sacrifice, and gave him the key to beating Lord Voldemort. They remember the mother whose love, dying to save her little baby, gave him the "power the Dark Lord Knows Not." They remember the kid everyone bullied and thought was weak, having the Sorting Hat shoved onto his head and being tortured, only to pull Gryffindor's Sword out of it and slice off the head of Nagini, the final remaining Horcrux of Voldemort.
Don't want anything bad to happen to their characters? This is not the game for them, not the genre for them. The whole point of D&D is to go on adventures, and when you think about it in very real terms, adventures are literally one bad thing after another happening to your character... traps you fall into, enemies who try to kill you, evil dukes who put prices on your heads because you thwarted them and so forth. That's the stuff D&D is made of. Don't want bad things to happen to your character? Find another DM. I'm not the DM for you...
I get nervous every single game, especially if a player has never played D&D before, or if I'm trying a new approach.
One thing that helps is I have supportive players. I tell them what's going on, like, "Hey, I'm not up for creating an epic campaign with an intricate plot and flawless continuity. This is going to kinda be a series of one shots each month, where you play the same character and level up." Or, to new players, "Yep, I have butterflies, but I'm excited."
They've always responded positively and we've all had fun.
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Hi! I hope you all are doing good I just had a weird question. I've been a DM before, but mostly play by post. I've done a couple campaigns in person but I always get so nervous and panic during them. Its either I get worried they aren't having enough fun (not enough fights/or too many fights/boring roleplay/too much roleplay), that they will get mad at me if something happens to their character, or that they'll say I'm doing it wrong because I prefer to do homebrew campaigns.
My roommate persuaded me to restart an old campaign she was in, I'm already starting to feel anxious about it. Would anyone by chance have any times on how to stay calm? I'd rather not be anxious and nervous, the players deserve to have fun.
This is a tough one, but yes I still get nervous. In the sense that I'm not sure how an encounter will play out, or a situation requiring knowledge of specifics, challenges I've added etc. I want to HEAR the cortisol dump across the microphone, I want the players to be engaged and have a real sense of danger, I want them to feel touched when a moment happens. I don't have a particular ritual for overcoming nerves I'm afraid BUT... there are times that I do go in front of a mirror, tell myself that I'm going to run this game well, that I've put together a decent story, and that I'm going to leave it all out there as a performer.
Well, first, your roommate ASKED you to restart a campaign because she enjoyed it so much, so you obviously have some things going for you. Sure, it's fine to be nervous. It may even HELP to be a little bit nervous. But if it's ruining your own enjoyment of the game, that's no good.
As far as tips, they sound corny, but breathing exercises, positive visualization, interrupting negative trains of thought, using a posture that indicates confidence, all the usual stuff for stage fright and anxiety in general.
On the day of the game, maybe go for a run to get your endorphins going, set a kitchen timer and give yourself 10 minutes to freak out, then stop when the timer goes off. Make some tea for your voice, run through a pre-game checklist, then say hi to your friends who you're going to have fun with.
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InsiderI want to assure you that getting nervous before you play/DM is completely normal. I get anxious EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I'm a professional performer with decades of experience in front of an audience, on stage, and being a DM, and I experience everything from small butterflies to full on panic attacks before any game I run.
How to deal with those nerves is different for everyone. Some people are able to work through it just because they know that once the game starts the nerves turn to excitement. Others have prep rituals that help calm them. For me, I have learned to recognize my own anxious symptoms and just acknowledging them helps deal with them. I also had a professor once tell me one of the best pieces of advice I ever got that still helps me deal with pre-performance issues: "Nerves are a sign that you care. And people can see that you care and will root for you."
These are all super normal things that DMs worry about! What can help, especially with some of the specific DM anxieties you have, is to talk with your players. Have a session zero, even if you've already started to play, and just ask them for their opinions on stuff. Do check ins every so often and ask the questions you are concerned about. Most players will tell you, because in the end this is a game that everyone wants to have fun playing, and the best way to get the fun you want is to tell the DM what that is. And the best way to know you're on the right track is to ask.
I hope this helps, and you know you're not alone in your nerves, and that you continue to find joy in being a DM! Because it's obvious you care about your players having a good time, and that's how I know you're a good DM.
Find me on Twitter: @OboeLauren
You must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over you and through you. And when it has gone past you will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only you will remain.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
I can completely identify with this.
I am currently eight plus months and 36 sessions in to a home brew campaign I worked on for a couple of years and I have shared all of these worries. I think it comes with the job.
Do you want to know my trick? It is absolutely silly and I will be the first to acknowledge that, but what helped me, especially right before a session is that I bought a "lucky" bracelet. Yes, I am serious. It is made of leather and has a brass dragon charm/pendant. I keep it in my dice tray and put it one before each session. Reasonably, I know it is just a symbol, but symbols can be powerful things and we, those of us writing and running campaigns, are imaginative and creative people. We have to be or we would not get ourselves into this position. As much as it helps knowing I am not alone, going over my notes, or hearing my players say they are having fun, I can still feel myself relax when I pick up that silly bracelet.
So, I guess my advise is go ahead and find your own symbol for luck. Maybe a special D20 or a figure or charm. Just something that tells you that you can relax. That it doesn't matter if you forget a rule or fudge a fact. We are all fallible; and players are too. Mistakes will happen. Just let them go and focus on the larger story. After all, you deserve to have fun too.
LETS GO. good quote. Ive DMed once and almost started crying cos of how nervous i was. You'll do great
A New DM up against the World
I don't really get nervous per se. I have a good group and they seem to be having a lot of fun so, that helps. I was super nervous the first night just because I had never DMed for 3/4 of the players. (Literally, 3 of the 4.)
I do want to address one thing though:
Work this out in session 0. Ask if they will get mad if something bad happens to their character. See what they say. Hopefully, they will say "of course not -- that's part of the game."
IMO, if my players said "yes, we will get mad at you if something bad happens to our character," I would say "OK, I understand... someone else want to DM?" Because I do not want to run a campaign, or play in a campaign, where bad things cannot happen to the characters. Bad things have to happen to characters to create tension and drama.
Think about your favorite movies or books. Lord of the Rings -- bad things happen to the characters constantly. Chased by Ringwraiths. Stabbed with a cursed dagger, and the scar never heals. Succmbing to the power of The Ring. Captured by Uruk Hai. Etc. Or how about Harry Potter... Parents killed. Aunt and Uncle treat him like a cockroach. Bullied in school. Attempts on his life every year. Blood taken to rez his mortal foe. Friends killed in the final book.
This type of thing is necessary in dramatic gameplay. It is the stuff legends are made of. No one remembers the story of the character who went nowhere dangerous, risked nothing, and came back with free loot. They remember the story of the character who died, horn blowing, sword swinging, protecting two little hobbits from a swarm of orcs. They remember the story of the character who clawed and scraped his way, starving and dying of thirst, numb from cold, and had his finger bitten off and blood running down his hand while almost falling into the pit of Mount Doom. They remember the story of the Wizard who stood on the bridge barring the path of the Balrog and said, "You! Shall! Not! Pass!" and then fell into the crack with the Balrog. They remember the little house elf who saved everyone and whose death and burial taught Harry Potter the meaning of love and sacrifice, and gave him the key to beating Lord Voldemort. They remember the mother whose love, dying to save her little baby, gave him the "power the Dark Lord Knows Not." They remember the kid everyone bullied and thought was weak, having the Sorting Hat shoved onto his head and being tortured, only to pull Gryffindor's Sword out of it and slice off the head of Nagini, the final remaining Horcrux of Voldemort.
Don't want anything bad to happen to their characters? This is not the game for them, not the genre for them. The whole point of D&D is to go on adventures, and when you think about it in very real terms, adventures are literally one bad thing after another happening to your character... traps you fall into, enemies who try to kill you, evil dukes who put prices on your heads because you thwarted them and so forth. That's the stuff D&D is made of. Don't want bad things to happen to your character? Find another DM. I'm not the DM for you...
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I have to concentrate to not write "no!", but that would be me joking, and your question deserves a more thoughtful response.
First of all, you got this!
To be asked to DM and to continue a campaign means your players enjoyed your art and already approve.
Adventuring is dangerous, and things will happen to the characters, and that is what your players are most likely looking for, embrace it ;)
Also consider this, whatever critics and curmudgeons and conesseurs you think they are, the truth is, they're just ordinary blokes ;)
More Interesting Lock Picking Rules
I get nervous every single game, especially if a player has never played D&D before, or if I'm trying a new approach.
One thing that helps is I have supportive players. I tell them what's going on, like, "Hey, I'm not up for creating an epic campaign with an intricate plot and flawless continuity. This is going to kinda be a series of one shots each month, where you play the same character and level up." Or, to new players, "Yep, I have butterflies, but I'm excited."
They've always responded positively and we've all had fun.