Homebrew] I made this homebrew race, called the Ar'anken, and I haven't been able to get much feedback from my current group, so I was wondering what the larger community thought. Any feedback is highly appreciated!
Ar'anken
An inky black form moved slowly along the floor. It seemed to be looking for something. It suddenly stretched upwards, level with the table. A golden goblet with valuable gemstones embedded in it stood upon the table. The creature seemed to be inspecting it. Suddenly, the goblet began to float, and it moved towards the creature. It touched the creature, and it seemed to be absorbed by the creature's body. The goblet slowly moved into the strange creature, and finally, it disappeared. The creature then began to glide across the floor towards me, and it came up to my face. It was like a void, devoid of light. It was as if pure darkness had become intelligent. I realized this was something I had read about a long time ago in my studies. It was an extremely rare, intelligent race known as an Ar'anken.
-Xanblek Trentin, A Treatise on Intelligent Races
Ar'anken are a race of myth. They are mystical creatures, and little is known of them. They are like a pure, solid void that can take things in when it wishes. They can telekinetically move objects, moving them as we'd move objects with our hands. When they are born, they mysteriously know the Ar'anken language, although they have never been taught.
Planar Nomads
Ar'anken wander the planes, and have no home. They are nomads, moving from plane to plane, finding things they like and collecting them within their void bodies. They are extremely rare, and few have ever been seen on the material plane. One that becomes and adventurer is rare, but there are some that want to do more than others of their kind, and decide to stay in the material plane and live a life of adventure. They are often feared by those they come across on the material plane, as they are strange creatures.
Mysterious Wanderers
Almost nothing is known of the Ar'anken, even by the Ar'anken themselves, as they have no community and most Ar'anken have never seen another Ar'anken. What all Ar'anken do know, though, is that they were born from a void, a void created by planar magic. No one knows what specific conditions must be met for an Ar'anken to be created, but it is known that they are formed by planar magic. Some Ar'anken want to know more about themselves, and wander the planes in search for answers. The most powerful Ar'anken can move between the planes on their own, while others need to find portals or a powerful spellcaster to move about.
Shifting Forms
Ar'anken have no set form, and can change their form. They are normally a shifting, black, blob-like form, but they can change their size, stretching their bodies between 3 and 7 feet. As they grow stronger, they can first cast illusions around themself, but then literally change their form. Because of this, Ar'anken are skilled spies and thieves, able to slip between guards and the like with ease.
Obsessive Creatures
Ar'anken are very obsessive, and most Ar'anken will have something they obsess over constantly. This obsession is often what leads them on their planar quests. Consult the Ar'anken obsessions table to either decide randomly or choose what obsession your Ar'anken character will have, or make on of your own.
Ar'anken Obsessions
d6
Obsession
1
You obsess over having perfect technology, and always strive to improve your technological inventions.
2
You are obsessed with protecting natural life, and will do anything to restore nature to what it was before civilization, pollution, and agriculture.
3
You have a particular hatred for a certain race, and strive to end its existence... violently.
4
You are obsessed with becoming the most powerful being ever to live, and will do anything to increase your power.
5
You are obsessed with knowledge of all kinds, and have been traveling the planes in search of all the knowledge ever known, chronicling it all in a series of treatises.
6
You are obsessed with finding the meaning of life, and why you're here, why anyone's here.
Ar'anken Names
Ar'anken have no parents or other family connections, so they name themselves. They name themselves in the mysterious Ar'anken tongue they know from birth, and usually only have a one word name. As Ar'anken have no gender, no differentiations are made between names.
Your Wisdom score increases by 2, and your Intelligence score increases by 1.
Age
Ar'anken do not age, and therefore can live forever naturally, although they can still be killed by other causes.
Alignment
Ar'anken generally don't care much for the affairs of others, and tend to be neutral alignments.
Size
Ar'anken have some amount of flexibility, and can stretch between 3 and 7 feet tall. Nonetheless, your size is always Medium.
Speed
You can slide across the ground. Your base walking speed is 25 feet.
Ar'anken Telekinesis
You are innately able to psychically move objects with your mind. You can cast Mage Hand at will, and it can carry objects with a up to a weight (in pounds) equal to your Wisdom score plus 5.
Strengthened Mind
Your mind is stronger than the mind of most other races. You have resistance to psychic damage.
Shifting Forms
As an Ar'anken, as you grow stronger, you can first change yourself with illusion, but then change yourself physically. At 2nd level, you can cast Disguise Self once per short rest. At 5th level, you can cast Alter Self once per short rest.
Planar Traveller
At 15th level, you are one of the most powerful Ar'anken. You can now travel between the planes naturally, instead of having to seek out portals or other means. With this power, you can cast Plane Shift once per long rest.
Languages
You can read, write, and telepathically speak Common, Ar'anken, and one extra language of your choice to any creature within 30 feet. You can speak to up to ten creatures at a time in this way.
Four suggestions: 1. You should combine Ar'anken Telekinesis and Shifting Forms into one trait. 2. You should scrap Planar Traveler, most campaigns don't even go that high. 3. You should reword Languages to: You can speak, read, and write Ar'anken, Common, and one extra language of your choice. In addition, you can speak telepathically with any creature within 30 feet of you that you share a language with. 4. You should give them proficiency in Deception, since they don't have very many other traits.
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All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
You don't need to label Mage Hand as being able to be cast "at will", as it is a cantrip. Also, to keep the theme of telekinesis, make the mage hand appear invisible for flavor.
Don't change what Mage Hand already does. It makes things more difficult to keep track of and confusing for the player. Especially since these creatures are most likely to be casters, in my opinion (perhaps rogues too).
Make it so that the Ar'anken can cast Disguise Self when they reach 3rd level, and change the recharge from a short rest to a long rest. This keeps the innate spellcasting more like that of other races with that ability. Also note that Wisdom is the spellcasting ability for these spells, as Disguise Self has a DC to see if it is seen through.
Perhaps add skill proficiencies such as Deception, Arcana, or Stealth to the race.
Other than that, I think the race sounds really fun to play as and well designed too! I might be interested in playing an Ar'anken in the Level 20 Battlefield that Warlock is talking about. Perhaps a wizard could be fun for this race! A rogue could also be very interesting to play as an Ar'anken with.
You should be very careful about increasing Mage Hand's capacity so much as a racial trait. It will be abused to gain access to flight at 1st level, and can be exploited to various other effects very easily.
With a "blob-like" form and the ability to stretch between 3-7 feet, this race can use either Disguise Self and Alter Self to look like practically anything, or nothing, depending on interpretation.
Immortality is typically reserved as a near capstone ability and shouldn't be giving as a default trait. An "unknowably long" lifespan is fine, but immortality has mechanical consequences.
Warforged racial trait:
Age
A typical warforged is between two and thirty years old. The maximum warforged lifespan remains a mystery; so far, warforged have shown no signs of deterioration due to age. You are immune to magical aging effects.
Assuming the blob-like form isn't meant to be a heavy restriction, these traits make this race far too powerful.
Interesting idea for a race. I see lots of potential for an interplanar campaign. I mostly agree with the advice already given but here's a couple extra takeaways.
1. The inclusion of level-based abilities isn't unheard of in 5th edition but I do think it stands out as a little weird... then again so does this race so maybe it works, lol?
2. Mage Hand with an "invisible" hand sounds innocuous but could lead to shenanigans.
3. I don't think you need to specify weight limits for the racial Mage Hand as what you've come up with isn't any stronger than the base cantrip.
4. On the other hand, you might want to get more specific with the minimum weight with the Shifting Forms ability. This could lead to too much crunch but the reasoning has to do with preventing Mage Hand shenanigans. Basically, you just want to make sure you're not allowing a character to use a combination of Shifting Forms and the racial Mage Hand to get access to "flight" at 1st level. By RAW, that combo doesn't show up until 3rd level when a small-sized wizard or sorcerer can take Enlarge/Reduce.
Actually, quite a few races get level-based spells.
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All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Beyond the base races things can get weird, and that is what level-based abilities feel like for me when tied to a race. Just seems awkward to have to refer to your race past 1st level. Cantrips are fine but throwing in leveled spells as a means of capturing racial abilities necessitates restricting them to come online at higher levels but it also makes the race stand out and altogether it feels like leftovers from previous editions.
Beyond the base races things can get weird, and that is what level-based abilities feel like for me when tied to a race. Just seems awkward to have to refer to your race past 1st level. Cantrips are fine but throwing in leveled spells as a means of capturing racial abilities necessitates restricting them to come online at higher levels but it also makes the race stand out and altogether it feels like leftovers from previous editions.
Tritons, Yuan-ti Purebloods, Duergar, Githyanki, Githzerai, and Drow all get level based spellcasting.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Also, gith do get an invisible mage hand, and races with innate spellcasting(Cantrip, 1st Level spell cast at 2nd, 2nd Level) are usually balanced by lack of other features. I do see where you are coming from though, BuzzinFrog.
Those are all weird non-core races or, at best, a subrace of a core race.
Yeah, guess what else is a "non-core" race: EVERY HOMEBREW RACE. So they can have that trait if they want to, especially since both Volo's and Mordenkainen's are official D&D books, which are far more "core" then people's homebrew, including the OP's, yours, and even Matt Mercer's.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Yeah, I didn't mean disrespect his opinions or get in a fight with him. It just annoys me when people bug people about their own stuff for no real reason.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
All I was trying to say is that "spells as racial traits" feels out of place in 5e but something that feels out of place is weirdly kind of appropriate for this homebrew race (given how unique it is to begin with) so I could see how it works out.
Wow, this is all very good feedback! I'm going to wait until this weekend, and then make a new version taking into account these suggestions. If anyone has more ideas, please go ahead!
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Homebrew] I made this homebrew race, called the Ar'anken, and I haven't been able to get much feedback from my current group, so I was wondering what the larger community thought. Any feedback is highly appreciated!
Ar'anken
Ar'anken are a race of myth. They are mystical creatures, and little is known of them. They are like a pure, solid void that can take things in when it wishes. They can telekinetically move objects, moving them as we'd move objects with our hands. When they are born, they mysteriously know the Ar'anken language, although they have never been taught.
Planar Nomads
Ar'anken wander the planes, and have no home. They are nomads, moving from plane to plane, finding things they like and collecting them within their void bodies. They are extremely rare, and few have ever been seen on the material plane. One that becomes and adventurer is rare, but there are some that want to do more than others of their kind, and decide to stay in the material plane and live a life of adventure. They are often feared by those they come across on the material plane, as they are strange creatures.
Mysterious Wanderers
Almost nothing is known of the Ar'anken, even by the Ar'anken themselves, as they have no community and most Ar'anken have never seen another Ar'anken. What all Ar'anken do know, though, is that they were born from a void, a void created by planar magic. No one knows what specific conditions must be met for an Ar'anken to be created, but it is known that they are formed by planar magic. Some Ar'anken want to know more about themselves, and wander the planes in search for answers. The most powerful Ar'anken can move between the planes on their own, while others need to find portals or a powerful spellcaster to move about.
Shifting Forms
Ar'anken have no set form, and can change their form. They are normally a shifting, black, blob-like form, but they can change their size, stretching their bodies between 3 and 7 feet. As they grow stronger, they can first cast illusions around themself, but then literally change their form. Because of this, Ar'anken are skilled spies and thieves, able to slip between guards and the like with ease.
Obsessive Creatures
Ar'anken are very obsessive, and most Ar'anken will have something they obsess over constantly. This obsession is often what leads them on their planar quests. Consult the Ar'anken obsessions table to either decide randomly or choose what obsession your Ar'anken character will have, or make on of your own.
Ar'anken Obsessions
Ar'anken Names
Ar'anken have no parents or other family connections, so they name themselves. They name themselves in the mysterious Ar'anken tongue they know from birth, and usually only have a one word name. As Ar'anken have no gender, no differentiations are made between names.
Ar'anken Names: Dleeruum, Buurest, Jhaarn, Ssooress, Weeressna
Ar'anken Traits
Your Ar'anken character has the following traits.Ability Score Increase
Your Wisdom score increases by 2, and your Intelligence score increases by 1.
Age
Ar'anken do not age, and therefore can live forever naturally, although they can still be killed by other causes.
Alignment
Ar'anken generally don't care much for the affairs of others, and tend to be neutral alignments.
Size
Ar'anken have some amount of flexibility, and can stretch between 3 and 7 feet tall. Nonetheless, your size is always Medium.
Speed
You can slide across the ground. Your base walking speed is 25 feet.
Ar'anken Telekinesis
You are innately able to psychically move objects with your mind. You can cast Mage Hand at will, and it can carry objects with a up to a weight (in pounds) equal to your Wisdom score plus 5.
Strengthened Mind
Your mind is stronger than the mind of most other races. You have resistance to psychic damage.
Shifting Forms
As an Ar'anken, as you grow stronger, you can first change yourself with illusion, but then change yourself physically. At 2nd level, you can cast Disguise Self once per short rest. At 5th level, you can cast Alter Self once per short rest.
Planar Traveller
At 15th level, you are one of the most powerful Ar'anken. You can now travel between the planes naturally, instead of having to seek out portals or other means. With this power, you can cast Plane Shift once per long rest.
Languages
You can read, write, and telepathically speak Common, Ar'anken, and one extra language of your choice to any creature within 30 feet. You can speak to up to ten creatures at a time in this way.
Four suggestions:
1. You should combine Ar'anken Telekinesis and Shifting Forms into one trait.
2. You should scrap Planar Traveler, most campaigns don't even go that high.
3. You should reword Languages to: You can speak, read, and write Ar'anken, Common, and one extra language of your choice. In addition, you can speak telepathically with any creature within 30 feet of you that you share a language with.
4. You should give them proficiency in Deception, since they don't have very many other traits.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
OK, thank you! Duly noted! I won't make the changes yet, I want to wait for more feedback.
its pretty good. i agree with @Thauraeln_The_Bold about most of the things.
I am an average mathematics enjoyer.
>Extended Signature<
Thank you!
Yeah, I second (third?) Thauraeln's suggestions. That's exactly what I was going to say.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Some suggestions:
Other than that, I think the race sounds really fun to play as and well designed too! I might be interested in playing an Ar'anken in the Level 20 Battlefield that Warlock is talking about. Perhaps a wizard could be fun for this race! A rogue could also be very interesting to play as an Ar'anken with.
The three teachings of Tyre:
Nothing is forbidden.
Nothing is sacred.
Nothing is impossible.
Also I stan Tomoe for life
You should be very careful about increasing Mage Hand's capacity so much as a racial trait. It will be abused to gain access to flight at 1st level, and can be exploited to various other effects very easily.
With a "blob-like" form and the ability to stretch between 3-7 feet, this race can use either Disguise Self and Alter Self to look like practically anything, or nothing, depending on interpretation.
Immortality is typically reserved as a near capstone ability and shouldn't be giving as a default trait. An "unknowably long" lifespan is fine, but immortality has mechanical consequences.
Warforged racial trait:
Age
A typical warforged is between two and thirty years old. The maximum warforged lifespan remains a mystery; so far, warforged have shown no signs of deterioration due to age. You are immune to magical aging effects.
Assuming the blob-like form isn't meant to be a heavy restriction, these traits make this race far too powerful.
Yeah, I see what you're saying. I'll definitely be making changes to the race. Thanks a bunch!
Interesting idea for a race. I see lots of potential for an interplanar campaign. I mostly agree with the advice already given but here's a couple extra takeaways.
1. The inclusion of level-based abilities isn't unheard of in 5th edition but I do think it stands out as a little weird... then again so does this race so maybe it works, lol?
2. Mage Hand with an "invisible" hand sounds innocuous but could lead to shenanigans.
3. I don't think you need to specify weight limits for the racial Mage Hand as what you've come up with isn't any stronger than the base cantrip.
4. On the other hand, you might want to get more specific with the minimum weight with the Shifting Forms ability. This could lead to too much crunch but the reasoning has to do with preventing Mage Hand shenanigans. Basically, you just want to make sure you're not allowing a character to use a combination of Shifting Forms and the racial Mage Hand to get access to "flight" at 1st level. By RAW, that combo doesn't show up until 3rd level when a small-sized wizard or sorcerer can take Enlarge/Reduce.
Actually, quite a few races get level-based spells.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Beyond the base races things can get weird, and that is what level-based abilities feel like for me when tied to a race. Just seems awkward to have to refer to your race past 1st level. Cantrips are fine but throwing in leveled spells as a means of capturing racial abilities necessitates restricting them to come online at higher levels but it also makes the race stand out and altogether it feels like leftovers from previous editions.
Tritons, Yuan-ti Purebloods, Duergar, Githyanki, Githzerai, and Drow all get level based spellcasting.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Also, gith do get an invisible mage hand, and races with innate spellcasting(Cantrip, 1st Level spell cast at 2nd, 2nd Level) are usually balanced by lack of other features. I do see where you are coming from though, BuzzinFrog.
The three teachings of Tyre:
Nothing is forbidden.
Nothing is sacred.
Nothing is impossible.
Also I stan Tomoe for life
Those are all weird non-core races or, at best, a subrace of a core race.
Yeah, guess what else is a "non-core" race: EVERY HOMEBREW RACE. So they can have that trait if they want to, especially since both Volo's and Mordenkainen's are official D&D books, which are far more "core" then people's homebrew, including the OP's, yours, and even Matt Mercer's.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Ok, let's not start a fight everybody.
The three teachings of Tyre:
Nothing is forbidden.
Nothing is sacred.
Nothing is impossible.
Also I stan Tomoe for life
Yeah, I didn't mean disrespect his opinions or get in a fight with him. It just annoys me when people bug people about their own stuff for no real reason.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Sorry, I'm not trying to rile anybody.
All I was trying to say is that "spells as racial traits" feels out of place in 5e but something that feels out of place is weirdly kind of appropriate for this homebrew race (given how unique it is to begin with) so I could see how it works out.
Wow, this is all very good feedback! I'm going to wait until this weekend, and then make a new version taking into account these suggestions. If anyone has more ideas, please go ahead!