"Jerk is just a term that non-jerks use to bad mouth innocent jerks" LOL

I'm not that guy's GM but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to quote a great character.  10 points if you know who said it.

My party is playing through Tiamats wrath 

they enter the camp by bluffing their way in. The barbarian (who hates Mondath ) see’s Mondath and commit’s to role play and charges her in the MIDDLE OF THE CAMP though it all worked out alright with just the barbarian dying.

After killing a couple of ambushers from an enemy gang in a modern-day campaign, they stole the walkie talkie off of one of them. The walkie goes off, a voice on the other end asking "Jeramie? Jeramie how long does it take you to take a piss it's been hours?"

Instead of not answering, or setting up a proper ambush of the person on the other end, luring them in with their guard down, the party instead had their lowest CHA member pretend to be Jeramie, and say that he'd been "kidnapped, and held hostage at the McDonalds. Come by with help and save me at exactly 12:00 noon". So of course, at 12:00, three heavily armed members of the enemy gang stroll in prepared for a fight, prepared and un-surprisable because the party literally told them to prepare for a fight. Several PCs went unconscious that day, and one technically died but some rule bending went into effect because it was literally the third session of the campaign lol

Quote from 6thLyranGuard >>

I think the real moral of that story is that your GM is a jerk.

Yeah that DM doesn't seem to have understood what a proportionate response is. And if they're going to brutally murder you, they might as well have had Tiamat riding a Tarrasque instead of some of that boring Dracolich stuff.

Quote from CaptainCleverUsernameHere >>

After killing a couple of ambushers from an enemy gang in a modern-day campaign, they stole the walkie talkie off of one of them. The walkie goes off, a voice on the other end asking "Jeramie? Jeramie how long does it take you to take a piss it's been hours?"

Instead of not answering, or setting up a proper ambush of the person on the other end, luring them in with their guard down, the party instead had their lowest CHA member pretend to be Jeramie, and say that he'd been "kidnapped, and held hostage at the McDonalds. Come by with help and save me at exactly 12:00 noon". So of course, at 12:00, three heavily armed members of the enemy gang stroll in prepared for a fight, prepared and un-surprisable because the party literally told them to prepare for a fight. Several PCs went unconscious that day, and one technically died but some rule bending went into effect because it was literally the third session of the campaign lol

A modern day D&D gang game sounds interesting but that plan doesn't exactly sound like the most genius idea.

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It's awesome that this thread's still thriving! Wonderful that we have so many stories here and that it's survived well over a year. :) Not what I expected but just what I hoped for when I started it.

During a side quest, my party had to get to a castle of an evil wizard to get a wand to change a wizard-sheep back into his human form and while the rest of my party were fighting the goblin guards, I used stealth to sneak around to find a back entrance(which I found one) but when I walked inside, I tripped a trip wire and proceeded to get stuck under a huge pile of rubble which my party eventually chased one of the goblins over and I got more stuck. When I finally got out, I had lost my mask(which helped hide my voice) and while my party was exploring, I was yelling in a very profound British accent "WHERE IS MY FOOKING MASK?!" in the background. I was not very smart that day.

I may have had a bit of a main character complex one time, so when a large platoon of enemy dwarves approached my party's hideout, and I was the only one outside, guess what I did?

Yep. I tried to fight them. Alone. Without calling for my party. I don't know how I got out of that situation alive, but I will say, Circle of the Shepherd druid is a severely underrated support class.

Needless to say, I've been watching myself and keeping myself in check ever since.

God bless the DM.

heh, same

Quote from ElijayFuji17 >>

During a side quest, my party had to get to a castle of an evil wizard to get a wand to change a wizard-sheep back into his human form and while the rest of my party were fighting the goblin guards, I used stealth to sneak around to find a back entrance(which I found one) but when I walked inside, I tripped a trip wire and proceeded to get stuck under a huge pile of rubble which my party eventually chased one of the goblins over and I got more stuck. When I finally got out, I had lost my mask(which helped hide my voice) and while my party was exploring, I was yelling in a very profound British accent "WHERE IS MY FOOKING MASK?!" in the background. I was not very smart that day.

Interesting, that sounds like the premise of a Wild Sheep Chase though the tripwires and goblins showcase how it's clearly a very different adventure. And I feel sorry for your character, having to feel ashamed of their "very profound British accent" so much they felt the need to get a mask to change it.

Quote from RexFireheart >>

I may have had a bit of a main character complex one time, so when a large platoon of enemy dwarves approached my party's hideout, and I was the only one outside, guess what I did?

Yep. I tried to fight them. Alone. Without calling for my party. I don't know how I got out of that situation alive, but I will say, Circle of the Shepherd druid is a severely underrated support class.

Needless to say, I've been watching myself and keeping myself in check ever since.

God bless the DM.

Their are idiotic ideas and truly idiotic ones.. This is the latter.

But I'd probably do the exact same thing lmao. :)

1: everyone except my character decided to follow this random lute music, and they met a bard who offered them stew 2/4 characters got poisoned and 4/4 got robbed! HANSEL AND GRETEL ANYBODY!!!!

2  we got attacked by these bandits who said they worked for our boss they asked us to come with them and we did.....we got locked in a closet

3 this character named potato kept throwing javelins at a monster...........he was not proficient 

So me and the bois are in the depths of a kobold layer, we have been tasked by the kobold to find and bring back their lovable ice dragon. As we are wondering through the halls descending further and further down we unlock a secret door and there it is. It begins combat with us so we needed to obviously try to subdue it or knock it out. Unfortunately we were all massively under leveled for it and all of our "stunning" spells had been used up. We were all taking massive hits, my dragonborne warlock was practically bleeding out when our rouge tielfing has the bright idea to use FIREBALL against it. She rolls a nat 20 and one shots the dragons 80% of health it had left. The tielfing brought back the ashes of the dragon and dumped it into the owner of the dragons hand while he was sobbing. (I f***ing love this game.)

There's no attack roll for fireball.

So smiting someone who just started getting into dnd is the correct response for when they use the wrong wording. Got it. Thanks!

Nobody's smiting you.  I'm pointing out that you do not make an attack roll with Fireball and therefore you cannot roll a nat 20 with it.  You cast the spell, choose a location, roll the damage dice, and all creatures within a 20 foot radius of that location have to make a dexterity save.

Ok. But what's that thing below on all of your comments. It reads,

"Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.

"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore.  "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong."

I may have mistook but it seemed like it applied to your criticism is all. Does it? 

Quote from ShamelessBoi >>

Ok. But what's that thing below on all of your comments. It reads,

"Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.

"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore.  "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong."

I may have mistook but it seemed like it applied to your criticism is all. Does it? 

 That's called a signature.  It's just something you can do to customize your profile that will be automatically displayed on all your posts.  Been a standard feature of message forums since the late 90s.  Notice that there's a line break and the text is in smaller font.

One thing we did in a campaign that took place in 1790's time, we were in France and there was a speech going to take place and we had to prevent the assassination of the person giving the speech. So instead of doing the right thing to do, that being telling the guards before it started so they can prepare for the assassination and increase guard and stuff, what we did was prevented the whole speech altogether with a boom. At this time I was playing a rifle engineer (a homebrew artificer subclass for this setting) and my friend was playing a Psi Warrior (the fighter subclass), so what he did was picked up a giant barrel of wine with his levitation stuff, which we later found out that the barrel had an enchantment of endless drink or whatever, and he picked it and moved it over the stage and I shot it with a fire bullet and as you would guess alchol and fire dont mix very well. So after a shot it flaming liquid was just pouring infinitly out of the barrel. It did prevent the assassination and it was kinda funny but in all reality was the worst way to go about that, so therefore it was the best decision to make. 

Quote from ShamelessBoi >>

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Welcome to the forums! :) To be clear, Lyran wasn't trying to be rude, attack, or "smite" you. He was just pointing out something that confused him about your story.

Quote from JorThornburrow >>

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Well, that's certainly one way to save the speaker lol!

Yeah, it was quite funny watching our clerics reaction to what happened, for context our cleric is a lawful good Catholic priest.

Quote from Rynn_Elocin >>

We were on a mission to rescue an npc who was going to be killed for a crime he didn't commit. Our party split up three went to break the kid out of prison, two stayed behind and two of us went to convince the mayor to let the kid go. I was one of the players who went to go talk to the major. The party's mistake was letting the two dumbest characters talk to the major alone. My character a blue dragonborn with an intelligence score of 6 and another player whose character is a green dragonborn with only slightly higher intelligence (and also has a history of being a murderhobo). Long story short, my character broke into the mayor's room by breaking off the doorknob, both of us got tied of the mayor, I thew the doorknob at his face, and knocked him out. I then threw the doorknob at the glass window, breaking it, and a few high rolls later had the town convinced that the mayor had been kidnapped by a dark-haired paladin (long story). The party somehow managed to escape with the npc we freed. Unfortunately, us dragonborn had brought the mayor along. My character got the bright idea of electrocuting his head to make him forget the ordeal by spitting in his face... Yeah he's dead now. We have yet to see the consequences.

 yes goot veery goot

1. I was running Wild beyond the Witchlight with my friends, and two of my friends found mushrooms. In the Feywild, all mushrooms are psychedelics, but I made the mistake of telling them that. They spent the rest of the session begging to eat them.

2. In that same session, one of my friends kept trying to seduce every creature the party encountered.