Went to an open call for players,my first game ever.There were 3 other players who were experienced and the DM.I introduced myself and the others did not.When I asked them their names,was met with silence and one woman told me it is none of my business.I felt a bad vibe and really out of place.Is this normal or a common thing?I could possibly understand if they had gamed together previously,but from my understanding it was their first time meeting up as well.
Was this online or in person? If you were online and asking for real names, that's not really likely to be popular but your description of the group does sound unusually unfriendly for a group that's looking for a new player.
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Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
This wouldn’t be normal if they had played together before either, and I sure as hell hope it’s not common. I’ve never experienced anything like this when meeting new people for D&D, at any rate. Bit of standoffishness, sure. Met a couple of really odd ducks over the years too. But what you describe is just rude.
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Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
What you experienced is an unfortunate and very rare occurrence, and I'm sorry that it happened. I've been playing D&D off and on for forty years and I have found that the D&D community is generally one of the most accepting and welcoming communities I have ever experienced. of course, no group is perfect, and we all can and should strive to be more welcoming and more helpful to newcomers, especially now as D&D is experiencing a tremendous surge of growth and interest.
I assure you, your experience is an outlier. The good news is that there are millions of other tables out there who would be happy to welcome a new player and to help show you the ropes. I encourage you to simply seek out another table and give the game another chance. Until then, you'll always find all of us here on the forums happy to answer your questions and give you all the advice you need.
When meeting people for a game, it's probably best to say "Hi! Call me <whatever>. Nice to meet you all. What would you like me to call you?" It's difficult, but not impossible, to object to that. The people who get upset with that, you probably don't want to game with.
the information is a bit lacking here. What kind of game was it supposed to be? If it was supposed to be a murder mystery, a game where there's a potential traitor or something like along those lines then I don't see anything particularly wrong with that. Maybe they all agreed that it will be that type of game and the OP missed the memo? Or maybe it was a super serious RP type game where you're only supposed to ever talk out loud in character etc.
the information is a bit lacking here. What kind of game was it supposed to be? If it was supposed to be a murder mystery, a game where there's a potential traitor or something like along those lines then I don't see anything particularly wrong with that. Maybe they all agreed that it will be that type of game and the OP missed the memo? Or maybe it was a super serious RP type game where you're only supposed to ever talk out loud in character etc.
Even with those, you've still got to actually introduce yourself to the new player. D&D is a social game and there's a certain amount of socialization that's expected to go on with it. Like actually talking to people.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
The only detail the OP has actually described from the group is that the players refused to give their names (or at least a nickname or something to address them as) and gave off a rude vibe. And yes, I totally think that's rude. I currently only play online but each of the groups I've played with started with self-introductions along the lines of "Hi, I'm Flushmaster, you can call me Flush, and I'm playing Durrl the Striped Sage, a 6'5" half orc barbarian built like a pro wrestler, carrying a greataxe, and wearing clothes made entirely out of skunk hides."
Seriously, D&D is a social game (as has already been pointed out) and if people aren't going to introduce themselves that's going to make things awkward and unpleasant from the start. From the very limited information they sound like jerks, because that information is one big red flag.
I recommend finding a new, more sociable group with which to enjoy this social game. Noody should be expected to give their life story or a dating site profile's worth of personal information but common courtesy and general friendliness should be expected. D&D isn't a job where you're getting paid to do something alongside people you may or may not actually like being around. It's a game that's played for fun and that means getting along and cooperating with each other.
No, it’s not normal, it’s extremely rude, don’t bother with those people anymore and just look for a group that’s not ********. Asking for someone’s name is a perfectly fine question to ask when meeting someone, it’s not like it’s some super sensitive private information, I think I would have just left immediately in this situation, luckily most people in D&D are not like that at all, you might find an ******* here and there but they’re going to be very rare, don’t let this discourage you, give it another shot in a different group.
the information is a bit lacking here. What kind of game was it supposed to be? If it was supposed to be a murder mystery, a game where there's a potential traitor or something like along those lines then I don't see anything particularly wrong with that. Maybe they all agreed that it will be that type of game and the OP missed the memo? Or maybe it was a super serious RP type game where you're only supposed to ever talk out loud in character etc.
Even with those, you've still got to actually introduce yourself to the new player. D&D is a social game and there's a certain amount of socialization that's expected to go on with it. Like actually talking to people.
I do agree, it is a social game and it involves talking to people. But like I said it depends on context and there's not enough info in the post for us to tell if these are rude players/DM or if the OP missed a memo and the rudeness is deliberate and in character as part of the game setting. For example RotF DMs gives each character a secret and the expectation is that some players will keep their secret very close to the chest, festering an atmosphere of mistrust because not everybody knows what everybody else is about. If at session 1, all the players talk OOC about the details of the secret, that ruins the intended atmosphere of the game.
If you're heavily into RP, you wouldn't join a 99% combat group. If you're heavily into combat, you wouldn't join a 99% RP group. If you want a light hearted friendly campaign, you don't join serious RP psychological thriller group. If you want a serious psychological thriller, you don't join groups where everybody's names are pop culture references and puns.
Went to an open call for players,my first game ever.There were 3 other players who were experienced and the DM.I introduced myself and the others did not.When I asked them their names,was met with silence and one woman told me it is none of my business.I felt a bad vibe and really out of place.Is this normal or a common thing?I could possibly understand if they had gamed together previously,but from my understanding it was their first time meeting up as well.
Was this online or in person? If you were online and asking for real names, that's not really likely to be popular but your description of the group does sound unusually unfriendly for a group that's looking for a new player.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
This wouldn’t be normal if they had played together before either, and I sure as hell hope it’s not common. I’ve never experienced anything like this when meeting new people for D&D, at any rate. Bit of standoffishness, sure. Met a couple of really odd ducks over the years too. But what you describe is just rude.
Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
Was not online.
Good to know. That interaction would have been unusual for a Discord group. For an in-person group it's amazingly unfriendly.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
HI! Welcome to the table!
What you experienced is an unfortunate and very rare occurrence, and I'm sorry that it happened. I've been playing D&D off and on for forty years and I have found that the D&D community is generally one of the most accepting and welcoming communities I have ever experienced. of course, no group is perfect, and we all can and should strive to be more welcoming and more helpful to newcomers, especially now as D&D is experiencing a tremendous surge of growth and interest.
I assure you, your experience is an outlier. The good news is that there are millions of other tables out there who would be happy to welcome a new player and to help show you the ropes. I encourage you to simply seek out another table and give the game another chance. Until then, you'll always find all of us here on the forums happy to answer your questions and give you all the advice you need.
Hang in there!
Anzio Faro. Protector Aasimar light cleric. Lvl 18.
Viktor Gavriil. White dragonborn grave cleric. Lvl 20.
Ikram Sahir ibn-Malik al-Sayyid Ra'ad. Brass dragonborn draconic sorcerer Lvl 9. Fire elemental devil.
Wrangler of cats.
When meeting people for a game, it's probably best to say "Hi! Call me <whatever>. Nice to meet you all. What would you like me to call you?" It's difficult, but not impossible, to object to that. The people who get upset with that, you probably don't want to game with.
<Insert clever signature here>
What a bunch of snobs. I hope your next encounter is better.
Was it Adventurer's League? And I feel like they should have at least tried to shrug off the name question by giving you their character name.
That's terrible. What were they expected you to call them? "Hey you!"
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
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-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
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the information is a bit lacking here. What kind of game was it supposed to be? If it was supposed to be a murder mystery, a game where there's a potential traitor or something like along those lines then I don't see anything particularly wrong with that. Maybe they all agreed that it will be that type of game and the OP missed the memo? Or maybe it was a super serious RP type game where you're only supposed to ever talk out loud in character etc.
Even with those, you've still got to actually introduce yourself to the new player. D&D is a social game and there's a certain amount of socialization that's expected to go on with it. Like actually talking to people.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
The only detail the OP has actually described from the group is that the players refused to give their names (or at least a nickname or something to address them as) and gave off a rude vibe. And yes, I totally think that's rude. I currently only play online but each of the groups I've played with started with self-introductions along the lines of "Hi, I'm Flushmaster, you can call me Flush, and I'm playing Durrl the Striped Sage, a 6'5" half orc barbarian built like a pro wrestler, carrying a greataxe, and wearing clothes made entirely out of skunk hides."
Seriously, D&D is a social game (as has already been pointed out) and if people aren't going to introduce themselves that's going to make things awkward and unpleasant from the start. From the very limited information they sound like jerks, because that information is one big red flag.
I recommend finding a new, more sociable group with which to enjoy this social game. Noody should be expected to give their life story or a dating site profile's worth of personal information but common courtesy and general friendliness should be expected. D&D isn't a job where you're getting paid to do something alongside people you may or may not actually like being around. It's a game that's played for fun and that means getting along and cooperating with each other.
No, it’s not normal, it’s extremely rude, don’t bother with those people anymore and just look for a group that’s not ********. Asking for someone’s name is a perfectly fine question to ask when meeting someone, it’s not like it’s some super sensitive private information, I think I would have just left immediately in this situation, luckily most people in D&D are not like that at all, you might find an ******* here and there but they’re going to be very rare, don’t let this discourage you, give it another shot in a different group.
Are you sure you walked into a D&D game and not a criminal gang about to steal 50 high-end cars in one night?
I do agree, it is a social game and it involves talking to people. But like I said it depends on context and there's not enough info in the post for us to tell if these are rude players/DM or if the OP missed a memo and the rudeness is deliberate and in character as part of the game setting. For example RotF DMs gives each character a secret and the expectation is that some players will keep their secret very close to the chest, festering an atmosphere of mistrust because not everybody knows what everybody else is about. If at session 1, all the players talk OOC about the details of the secret, that ruins the intended atmosphere of the game.
If you're heavily into RP, you wouldn't join a 99% combat group. If you're heavily into combat, you wouldn't join a 99% RP group. If you want a light hearted friendly campaign, you don't join serious RP psychological thriller group. If you want a serious psychological thriller, you don't join groups where everybody's names are pop culture references and puns.
I don't think that there's a context where refusing to greet a new player OOC makes sense.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.