Played a bit in the 80's but was too intimidated honestly. I  still collect and paint Ral Partha miniatures and love all things Fantasy. I have always wanted to play D&D in earnest but am not sure how to start/find anyone to help me join in the game-which would be a generous thing to do. I've rolled up a modest character, Im considerate and a fast-learner so if anyone can point me in any directions/share any resources for beginners like me, I would appreciate the help very much. Thank you!

There are plenty of tables and groups out there who are open and encouraging to new players.  To dial in your approach to finding one that will work best for you, what sort of game play are you looking for?  Are you in an area where in person is a safe option or are you looking for online games?  

Thats great and thanks, Midnight. Id be comfortable playing in person if others were but maybe an online game is better to start with. Where best to find tables or groups? Really appreciate the assistance. 

Im not sure if I answered the question about what time of gameplay unless it was in-person vs. video.  What types of gameplay are there? Id like to play at least weekly but much more than that Id have to learn more about what is typical/the different types of game play are I suppose. Many thanks again!

So, first off the key to finding a game that's right for you is patience.  It sometimes takes a while vetting groups and even playing within a few games to find that Goldilocks sweet spot for what you want out of a game and what a given table wants out of a new player.

The first thing I'd say you want to do is map out all your possible game venue resources.  This board is a not infrequent site for folks complaining that they're giving up on D&D without ever playing because it's so hard to find a game.  In that thread I took some "brags" that were being offered by other players with more robust game communities available to them and turned it into a sort of inventory you can run of your locale to see where you can try to reach out:

1.) Are there games stores or comic book shops accessible to you?  If they've got active social media (like recent posts, not post from two years ago), hit them up there, or try their phone number and email.  Say you're a new D&D player looking for groups and ask then if they know of any groups looking or if there's some message board they can recommend you connect on. 

2.) Are you in school?  If you're in middle or high school, check if there's a club, and if it's inactive maybe you can revive it.  If there isn't maybe approach a teacher to see if they could advise you on setting one up.  If you're in college, I wouldn't say most but I know many campuses support official game clubs as part of their student activities program, these scenes also have a lot of overlap with the local game/comic store community.  Setting up a club on your own may seem like a lot of work, but honestly a lot of game "scenes" are credits to the work of one person who "did the thing" of setting up some game groups and getting folks together. This is likely not applicable since you've been familiar with the game since the 80s.

3.) Do you work?  Some large companies do have in house gaming clubs.  If you have a friend who works for a large megacorp, maybe they know of such a club that may make an exception for an outsider or connect you with an outside of work group.

4.) Everyone forgets about public libraries.  Give them a call or a note and see if they have a local club or a group that uses library space.

COVID protocols depending on where you are both complicate and broaden opportunity.  While some spaces still vacillate between being open to in person gaming or not, more people are getting into gaming and may lean on those in person spaces as venues to facilitate online play.

I know nothing of your geography, age, etc.  So I'm not sure how viable any of those options are.  

Wider net wise, here on D&D Beyond there's the LFP/LFG (looking for players / looking for group) subforum.  There you can find groups trying to organize games by geography and or timezone, it's got serious churn, so I'd strongly recommend trying out the more local research options (that are by their nature likely more curated) before taking the plunge there.

Lastly, some folks go apoplectic with this recommendation, but at the end of the day, if you're a new player and just want a taste of the game, there's nothing wrong with plunking a few bucks down on a vetted paid site like Startplayinggames (I would avoid paid games here on DDB and on Roll20 as the management of both sites wash their hands of any bad conduct or bad to incompetent game play).  

 

Now doing all that is a lot of cold calling, which can be draining.  If you find some folks that have openings, some may want you to jump right in.  Others, especially DMs on the more quality assured paid venues will allow players to observe a session to see if the DM and/or group are worth further engagement, I don't normally run paid games but I welcome potential new players to sit in and watch to see if the table's one they'd want to join.  

Things to look for are players and a DM who are facilitative and constructive, and not antagonistic.  This sort of team spirit is hard to elaborate on beyond that, it's basically a "feel" thing, but you'll know you'll find the right match when you're with them.  You lead in describing yourself as a respectful person/player.  Let's call that a core value.  You'll want to find other players whose impressions lead with respectful as well.

Don't worry about making mistakes in a new game, the table should know "you're new" and should be happy to show you the ropes if you're at a supportive group.  Also, if you just don't feel good playing with them, you're not hurting anyone by saying "I appreciate you all taking the chance on me, but I think I'm going to look to play elsewhere."  D&D is not a sports league with non compete clauses and exclusivity, everyone's a free agent and everyone's free to find the people and play style they gel with most.

See the link in my signature for a number of options for finding a group to play with. It might a be slog, fair warning, but best of luck with it. If/when you do find the right group for you, it'll be worth it. 

What's 'typical' is a bit of a difficult question to answer. Different groups will do different things. And what used to be the expectation probably isn't anymore, as posts made by old school gamers will attest. Things change over time, sometimes rapidly. Covid shifted D&D to where online is the norm in a matter of months after all, and we'll see if/when/how much it shifts back in the months ahead (or in some places, how much it already has). Other things stay the same or become an old school/retro/traditional substream. "Typical" doesn't have to mean much anyway - what matters is the groups you find and play with, not the mythical standard group that only really exists in theory. Approach the whole thing with an open mind and you should be fine. Not that every group will be a good fit, that's unlikely, but there's plenty of fish in the sea. 

Yeah, agree with the advice above. If you're a team player, it'll be a rare group that'll resent you being new.

Just to cover some pitfalls:

1. Tell people you're new. Easy done, people will give you several forgiveness points right off the bat.

2. Don't argue rules at the table. Look, sometimes you'll actually be right, but even then, it's just not worth it. Say you think it's x, but if DM says y, just get on with it. The DM can strictly speaking break any rule they like, and a good way to follow up after the game is to look it up, check the wording, and ask the DM privately about it, with the face-saving caveat that maybe the DM runs it differently.

3. Know your spells. Seriously. If you have spells, make sure you know what they do. Limit yourself to just a few that you know well, and make sure you have an idea when you could reasonably use them. If you're a healer and don't know what Healing Word is, just make sure you go over things and work it out. Note bonus actions or concentration spells or whatever. You don't need this session 1, really, since you're new, but do try to get a bit of study in between sessions. It's really annoying if the group has to look up every one of your spells because you always get them wrong.

4. You're not the (only) star. It looks a lot like you have this in the bag, but just remember to pay attention to how much attention you're hogging. Jump in and comment, do cool things, think of cunning plans, all of that. Just be aware of how much time you're taking up, and sometimes give others more of an opportunity - maybe you have a great plan, but sometimes it's best to let someone else come up with a ... mediocre plan. This is hard to balance, maybe I'm paranoid, but just keep it back of mind, maybe even just ask everyone, and you'll be fine - sometimes the gang wants you to be the face. :)

5. Most important: be an audience. Make sure you listen to other players and the DM too, and cheer their cool shit, and laugh at their crazy antics, and generally be a fan. We're players, but we're the audience too. This advice really goes for experienced players, as well, and I cannot stress this one enough. Appreciate the other players. Appreciate the DM. You'd be amazed at how much better it makes everyone's experience, including your own.

Here are my go-to tips for new players: 

1. Know your character sheet and the rules for your specific character, spells, and other abilities.  Beyond those rules, you do not need to know very much--you will pick up other rules and interactions just by playing.

In particular, know how your character works in combat and know your combat abilities inside and out.  A good chunk of D&D is not combat, but combat is the aspect of the game that spends the most time with any given player--you have your defined turn, and no one else is really contributing during your turn.  That means all eyes are on you, and being a little slow with combat means you are slowing the entire pace of the game. Not that you have to be lightning fast, of course--your table still understands you are new--but anything you can do to minimize the number of questions you ask mid-combat or the "umm, give me a sec, I have a spell I need to find" moments, will be greatly appreciated by the table.  

2. You can always message your DM between sessions if you have questions about the game or problems with other players or with their DM style.  A good DM is going to want to work with you to make sure you understand the game and are having fun.  Sometimes that means working with the DM to try and solve problems that arise during the campaign, such as a particular storyline driving a wedge between the party, or someone in the party making you feel uncomfortable.  

3. Respect other players' boundaries and make sure your own are known to others.  Some players are cool with addressing some topics while feeling uncomfortable with others.  Try to be cognizant of what your fellow players feel comfortable with and let them know if something is making you upset.  This is a lot harder to do if you are playing with strangers, so you might want to err on the side of caution at first, and see how others act before doing anything that might cross some of the more obvious lines (romance, extreme violence, torture, etc.).

4. Not every group works out and sometimes players do not mesh with others.  If you cannot fix a campaign's problems by talking with the DM, and if the other players are not making the campaign worth staying in, you can justifiably consider leaving.  This is much easier to do in an online group than in a real-world group where you might see the other players/DM again. 

I want to respond to your "Being a drag" comment.  New players aren't a drag to other players.  Many Many players and dungeon masters really love bringing in new players. 

Any disadvantages that come from not knowing what your character can do or not knowing how to find that modifier you know you have is completely overwhelmed by getting to enjoy your joy at discovering the hobby we love so much not to mention the thrill we get in helping our hobby grow.  I can't think of a better analogy and I don't mean it with any disrespect but have you ever held a baby when it was in a good mood and seen the thrill it gets on its face when it sees something it hasn't seen before and how its eyes go wide as it reaches for it because its just so interesting.  When my son was young it brought joy to me to watch that look of fascination and joy because it let me appreciate the beauty around me.  Showing someone the fun that can come from roleplaying games is like a grownup version of that :)

New person you are valued and an asset to the table.  Just go with an open mind and some patience maybe the ability to laugh at silly things that happen and you'll be fine :) best adventures.

1: Read the rules. They're published for a reason.

2: Ask questions. If you don't understand something then not asking about it is just going to keep you ignorant. Learning is the cure for ignorance, so make sure to actually listen to the answers you get.

3: Pay attention. To Everything. The DM will probably be talking a lot, and they usually are doing so because they have something important to say.  Also pay attention to what others are doing and, when necessary, ask more questions if you don't understand what's going on.

4: Take notes to help remember the things you're learning, both concerning the rules and what's going on in the game (plot twists, important NPCs and locations, etc). 

5: Try to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point? 

Holy smokes. I had a not-fun family event all morning/early afternoon and just got back to read all these incredibly thorough and thoughtful replies. I am actually going to write down a boiled down list of all your suggestions and make a simple game plan. Im a creative guy but know how to be humble and a team player so I think id make a good beginner (ie careful not to annoy or distract). Ive been  fortunate to join a handful of great alliances in other less inventive, if enjoyable, non rpg games (MSF/SWGOH). Had great alliance mates, some much bigger/more experienced, who helped and then in turn I did the same for others too eventually. Listened, asked questions (not too many though!), learned and grew. 

So to: Flushmaster, Mehrkat, Caerwyn, SmellyTerror, Pangurjan and MidnightPlat-massive thanks for the quick and incredibly helpful replies.

You all make great ambassadors to the game! Very much appreciated.

Arthur (this is about the only place I actually don't mind my given name lol) 

So much here that is helpful. Checked out startplayinggames and I'll also scan the LFP/LFG threads. Im a middle aged father of three in New York and ill also research some of the venues you mentioned (stores/hobby shops, libraries). And I was wondering about observing to get a but more acquainted to see about that too. Good to know that might be an option. Awesome amount of good guidance/help. Thanks again, Midnight.

You can look up game shops in the area and see if they are running Adventures League or general campaigns, reach out on the LFG forum or Reddit to find ppl in your area, maybe check social media for local groups. 

If finding an in person game is an issue (my own LGS still has a COVID related suspension of in store events, for example), there are a lot of folks playing online these days. Most use some VTT (Virtual TableTop) program for visual reference and either the VTT or (more often) Discord for voice chat. Every VTT I have experience with is free to players (DM usually has to make a purchase to get all the bells and whistles but can share content with players in games they run) and all you have to do is create a free user account; they're even usually browser based so you don't even need to download much, if anything. In addition to the various forums and boards, you can also do a google for D&D and Discord; there are a bunch of D&D focused Discord servers and communities out there and many of them have sections set aside specifically for LFG ads. Finding a game and group that matches your schedule/availability that you can get comfortable and have fun with might take a while, so don't get discouraged if you don't just fall into an ideal game right away. Stick with it and it will be worth it once you find a good game for you and some people you enjoy playing with.

Ditto'ing Flushmaster.  I should clarify that those resources I outlined would be primarily traditionally sites of in person play ... but also are venues that could well still serve as coordinating presence (via social media or a listserv) for local games that have migrated digitally.  If you're in a restricted space for public health reasons, but ultimately want a place at an actual table, I'd still try to reach in locally, though some of the LFG/LFP types ads are also geographically specific.  I just think a closer knit and geographically situated community has a lot more benefits than the more cattle call churns you'll find on "the big boards."

I play with my kids.  Had so much fun I joined an adult campaign.  I previously played in the late 90's.  then stopped.  I've played in 5 campaigns since August. I've had to drop my pay to play (Adventure League), because it was too much for me.  And my wife was not happy about the cost ($15 each session for my 14year old and me).  2 of my sons run a campaign as well.  My 14 year old had the idea over the summer.  We went for it.  Great times.

If you're looking to see the game streams are a great way to do so. 
Critical Role is the gold standard in Campaign viewing.  A lot to like here.  But most games can't hold this standard.
More importantly their handbooker helper series are great videos for beginners (or returners).
Dimension 20 is fairly popular.  Fun stream from College Humor.
Arcane Arcade is worth your time. Jacob is fun to watch.  He has strong opinions on the rules and you can see these opinions play out in his streams.
But the real meat, in my opinion, is with Matt Colville.  His Chain videos are strong and show strong 5e play.  He's been playing D&D since the 80's. 

There's plenty of others.  and this list can be overwhelming.    But with technology it's more accessible than ever.  I highly recommend checking twitch for a random stream or one listed above.  It might be simpler than watching play at a game store, and you can just just check something out whenever you have free time.  

That all being said if you want to check out the scene the game store and the library are the best choices, I think. 

I found a place here in NYC called The Compleat Strategist o Im going to check that out and pick up a Players Handbook. Im going to watch some of the streams you recommended too. Thats definitely something that will be helpful.Thanks very much!

the only current advice I have is that when you inevitably enter combat, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, pay attention to what's happening! When you don't pay attention to what's happening you'll keep trying to do things you can't do because of the state of the battlefield/what you did last turn and the DM needs to keep repeating themselves. I've had this happen a bunch and it's kind of annoying, especially when combined with someone who doesn't know how to play the game in general.

Being aware of the developing adventure/happenings, participating usefully with others and being immersed in the setting is what appeals to me. I'll be sure to pay attention. Thanks, Lycaon.

Something I really like, both to do and when others do it is prepping your turn. Plan it out way before hand and adjust accordingly.

Let's say we're a party of 4 against 4 Goblins. My system will.be like this (I've just finished my turn, initiative is such that it goes Goblin, player, Goblin, player, etc, and when I say P1, that means I'm doing it during player 1's turn):

G1: I'm looking to see how my turn affected the battlefield and looking to see how things might play out. I'm just enjoying the scene.

P1: I'm looking to see what would probably be most helpful for my turn.

G2: Checking to see if P1 or G1 actually changed anything, and I'm coming up with a plan.

P2: Finishing off my plan, and looking to see if there is anything that I can add to it.

G3: I'm checking to see if anything that has happened to disrupt my plans or present a better way.

P3: Again checking to see if my plans hold up, looking for threats, and being watchful.

G4: I've more or less finalised what I'm going to do, I'll pick up the appropriate dice (both the d20 and any relevant damage etc), and get ready.

Me: Quick check to make sure G4 didn't screw me over, announce my move, and roll all relevant dice. If I miss, I just ignore the damage dice so they all get thrown at once.

That really speeds things up. 5e is great for combat, but it does tend to be a bit bogged down. Obviously, when you first start, you're going to be slow. You're going to take time and can't juggle too much. But the sooner you start thinking about your turn, the easier it will be. If everyone does it, the action gets very fast and a lot more fun than watching the Wizard read every single one of his 30 spells for the perfect one, only to decide that he wants to cast Fireball for the 5th time in a row. Always be thinking about what you should be doing next.