TL;DR: What is your D&D story, where did it all begin for you, and how do I stop feeling like a creative D&D failure, so that I can rise above the twin storms of worry and doubt into the bright, serene skies of self-acceptance?
This thread is not going to be about D&D Beyond specifically. What is going to be about is feelings. That is right; I am going to talk to you today about feeling like a creative D&D failure and ask you all for your thoughts and opinions on overcoming this character flaw.
Perhaps I should begin with a little bit of background so that you all know from where I am coming.
My adventure into the world of fantastical fiction and storytelling started when I was a small child. I was a shy child and didn't have many friends to play with, so I would sit at home and watch television. I watched shows like Knight Rider, The Six Million Dollar Man, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century and others. This early viewing sparked my interest, and later I discovered programmes like Doctor Who, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Farscape and more. Then, by the time I was in my mid-teens, I was getting into anime and other Japanese TV shows and video games in a big way.
I had fallen in love with the stories, fantasies, mythologies and folklore that had made up my childhood and wanted to share that love with as many people as possible. I talked about it on forums, and with the few friends that I had in real-life. I wanted to share how wonderful it was and much better, it made me feel. I wanted everybody to know how happy I had become and so I never shut up about, not even for a second. I made up scenes in my head and acted them out. I played all the characters myself, voices and all and would often mix and match genres and monsters of the week.
How my family managed to put up with me and how I managed to hold on to the few friends that I had during this time of exploration, I will never know. However; I remain forever grateful, that they didn't run away and stood by me, no matter how annoying I must have been.
By the time I was choosing electives in high school, I had decided that I wanted to be a storyteller. I wanted to try and use my words and stories to fill a gap in the lives of others, as the writers and actors and storytellers of my favourite media had done for me. I had found joy in those works, made fumbling attempts to share that joy with others, and now it was my turn, to hoist up the mantel and do the same for others.
I suppose you could say that I wanted to be a Bard who could change the lives of people and the world by turning words into magic.
In my last years of high school, I discovered tabletop role-playing games in the sci-fi, horror and mythological genres and played them with my small group of friends. It thrilled me to find out that not only did my friends like TTRPGs, but playing them opened the door for me to make entirely new friends as well.
Friends came and went, characters lived and died, stories rose and flopped like flumphs in mating season. The years rolled by, and though it all I finished school, went to college and university, honed my skills and eventually came to D&D with the advent of 5e.
As you see, I am not new to roleplay, TTRPGs or D&D, and yet I still feel like a failure. This feeling of failure has intensified by moving into online communities like Reddit and DDB. Before moving online, I mostly existed in a vacuum. My players or the games I played in were my only barometer. There were still times in which I felt sad and a bit depressed when I saw some of the things that others created. However, they are my friends, and I was happy that they had created such awesome stuff as well.
Online though, I see all the beautiful art that people create, the fantastic stories they write — the perfectly balanced characters with exciting and intriguing backstories. The vibrant towns, cities, cultures, worlds and all the astoundingly excellent homebrew they create, and I feel like I have failed.
I see all the maps and battle grids and painted miniatures and reams and reams of lore, and I despair.
Then there are web shows like Critical Role and Heroes of the Vale. I love them both myself, but it makes it so much harder to DM for players, especially new players whose introduction to D&D was a web show. They come to your game wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. They are full of hope and excitement, and I watch the light in their eyes go out. I watch them die a little inside when it dawns on them that it isn't going to be like their favourite web show because I am not Matt Mercer or Todd Kenreck.
I look at all this stuff, and I watch these shows, I see how disappointed new players are. I watch the group chats and sometimes even get accidentally invited into them when a player does @everyone, and I feel like I have failed.
I take my characters to other peoples games and find myself surrounded by perfectly balanced characters. I feel like I have failed because I make my characters more for the story than dishing out damage. Even then, seeing how well the stories of others work together and fit into the game world, and I feel like I have failed despite working with my fellow players and my DM. Despite getting ideas and inspirations and criticisms from the online communities, my characters stories feel petty and stupid, and so I feel like a failure at D&D.
It makes me sad that so many creative people can create such beautiful things. Characters, stories, art, worlds, lore, homebrew items that leave my creative efforts in the dust.
At times I feel like; what is the point, somebody else will do it or has done it better, so why even bother!
After years of playing, creating content and attending workshops and courses, and making and losing friends along the way, what do I have to show for it? I would say, not very much, as my creations are and always have been childish compared to others.
So; that is my story, and this is me, a creative D&D failure.
Now its time for the audience participation and so it's over to you. What are your thoughts, what are your opinions, and how do I stop feeling like a creative D&D failure, so that I can rise above the twin storms of worry and doubt into the bright, serene skies of self-acceptance?
Feel free to tell me your story as well if you want, as I look forward to reading it as well as your general answers to my questions.
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A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
LOL if there is any one person on this whole forum who could never be accused of creative failure, it's you. You consistently pose thought-provoking questions and unusual character builds and you make a lot of deep dives into D&D lore. I've learned quite a bit by doing some research on the things you bring up in your threads.
Trying to validate one's individuality against another's is the way to madness.
There is a silly little hipster-ish phrase, but it bears enough meaning for pretty much anyone: "You do you." You can't be anyone else. Don't try. Be you.
You want to share "you." Sure, but you keep comparing yourself to others and keep typing like you want to be those others. You're not being them and you're not being you. What's left, then?
You don't need our validation or encouragement. You already have all the tools you need to give people a unique experience that's yours to give. We're here to listen to whatever you need to say, but the action is yours to take.
On a different thought: Stephen King once wrote in a foreword that he practiced writing and never stopped. That's his advice to creative endeavors. Paraphrasing: Practice. Never stop. No matter the result. Never stop.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Someone asked Pablo Casals - the legendary cellist - about why, at 80 years old, he still practiced four hours a day, and his answer was "Because I think I'm getting better."
You never hit max level in the real world. ;)
Some of those people with "perfectly balanced characters" may be looking at yours saying "man, I wish my character had such an interesting background."
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Hi, beyonders
TL;DR: What is your D&D story, where did it all begin for you, and how do I stop feeling like a creative D&D failure, so that I can rise above the twin storms of worry and doubt into the bright, serene skies of self-acceptance?
This thread is not going to be about D&D Beyond specifically. What is going to be about is feelings. That is right; I am going to talk to you today about feeling like a creative D&D failure and ask you all for your thoughts and opinions on overcoming this character flaw.
Perhaps I should begin with a little bit of background so that you all know from where I am coming.
My adventure into the world of fantastical fiction and storytelling started when I was a small child. I was a shy child and didn't have many friends to play with, so I would sit at home and watch television. I watched shows like Knight Rider, The Six Million Dollar Man, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century and others. This early viewing sparked my interest, and later I discovered programmes like Doctor Who, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Farscape and more. Then, by the time I was in my mid-teens, I was getting into anime and other Japanese TV shows and video games in a big way.
I had fallen in love with the stories, fantasies, mythologies and folklore that had made up my childhood and wanted to share that love with as many people as possible. I talked about it on forums, and with the few friends that I had in real-life. I wanted to share how wonderful it was and much better, it made me feel. I wanted everybody to know how happy I had become and so I never shut up about, not even for a second. I made up scenes in my head and acted them out. I played all the characters myself, voices and all and would often mix and match genres and monsters of the week.
How my family managed to put up with me and how I managed to hold on to the few friends that I had during this time of exploration, I will never know. However; I remain forever grateful, that they didn't run away and stood by me, no matter how annoying I must have been.
By the time I was choosing electives in high school, I had decided that I wanted to be a storyteller. I wanted to try and use my words and stories to fill a gap in the lives of others, as the writers and actors and storytellers of my favourite media had done for me. I had found joy in those works, made fumbling attempts to share that joy with others, and now it was my turn, to hoist up the mantel and do the same for others.
I suppose you could say that I wanted to be a Bard who could change the lives of people and the world by turning words into magic.
In my last years of high school, I discovered tabletop role-playing games in the sci-fi, horror and mythological genres and played them with my small group of friends. It thrilled me to find out that not only did my friends like TTRPGs, but playing them opened the door for me to make entirely new friends as well.
Friends came and went, characters lived and died, stories rose and flopped like flumphs in mating season. The years rolled by, and though it all I finished school, went to college and university, honed my skills and eventually came to D&D with the advent of 5e.
As you see, I am not new to roleplay, TTRPGs or D&D, and yet I still feel like a failure. This feeling of failure has intensified by moving into online communities like Reddit and DDB. Before moving online, I mostly existed in a vacuum. My players or the games I played in were my only barometer. There were still times in which I felt sad and a bit depressed when I saw some of the things that others created. However, they are my friends, and I was happy that they had created such awesome stuff as well.
Online though, I see all the beautiful art that people create, the fantastic stories they write — the perfectly balanced characters with exciting and intriguing backstories. The vibrant towns, cities, cultures, worlds and all the astoundingly excellent homebrew they create, and I feel like I have failed.
I see all the maps and battle grids and painted miniatures and reams and reams of lore, and I despair.
Then there are web shows like Critical Role and Heroes of the Vale. I love them both myself, but it makes it so much harder to DM for players, especially new players whose introduction to D&D was a web show. They come to your game wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. They are full of hope and excitement, and I watch the light in their eyes go out. I watch them die a little inside when it dawns on them that it isn't going to be like their favourite web show because I am not Matt Mercer or Todd Kenreck.
I look at all this stuff, and I watch these shows, I see how disappointed new players are. I watch the group chats and sometimes even get accidentally invited into them when a player does @everyone, and I feel like I have failed.
I take my characters to other peoples games and find myself surrounded by perfectly balanced characters. I feel like I have failed because I make my characters more for the story than dishing out damage. Even then, seeing how well the stories of others work together and fit into the game world, and I feel like I have failed despite working with my fellow players and my DM. Despite getting ideas and inspirations and criticisms from the online communities, my characters stories feel petty and stupid, and so I feel like a failure at D&D.
It makes me sad that so many creative people can create such beautiful things. Characters, stories, art, worlds, lore, homebrew items that leave my creative efforts in the dust.
At times I feel like; what is the point, somebody else will do it or has done it better, so why even bother!
After years of playing, creating content and attending workshops and courses, and making and losing friends along the way, what do I have to show for it? I would say, not very much, as my creations are and always have been childish compared to others.
So; that is my story, and this is me, a creative D&D failure.
Now its time for the audience participation and so it's over to you. What are your thoughts, what are your opinions, and how do I stop feeling like a creative D&D failure, so that I can rise above the twin storms of worry and doubt into the bright, serene skies of self-acceptance?
Feel free to tell me your story as well if you want, as I look forward to reading it as well as your general answers to my questions.
A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
LOL if there is any one person on this whole forum who could never be accused of creative failure, it's you. You consistently pose thought-provoking questions and unusual character builds and you make a lot of deep dives into D&D lore. I've learned quite a bit by doing some research on the things you bring up in your threads.
"Not all those who wander are lost"
Trying to validate one's individuality against another's is the way to madness.
There is a silly little hipster-ish phrase, but it bears enough meaning for pretty much anyone: "You do you." You can't be anyone else. Don't try. Be you.
You want to share "you." Sure, but you keep comparing yourself to others and keep typing like you want to be those others. You're not being them and you're not being you. What's left, then?
You don't need our validation or encouragement. You already have all the tools you need to give people a unique experience that's yours to give. We're here to listen to whatever you need to say, but the action is yours to take.
On a different thought: Stephen King once wrote in a foreword that he practiced writing and never stopped. That's his advice to creative endeavors. Paraphrasing: Practice. Never stop. No matter the result. Never stop.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Someone asked Pablo Casals - the legendary cellist - about why, at 80 years old, he still practiced four hours a day, and his answer was "Because I think I'm getting better."
You never hit max level in the real world. ;)
Some of those people with "perfectly balanced characters" may be looking at yours saying "man, I wish my character had such an interesting background."