"And because we're responsible adults we handle problems responsibly. And by that I mean trial by combat."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Helper of Create a World thread/Sedge is Chaotic Neutral/ Mega Yahtzee High: 34, Low: 14/I speak English, je me parle le Francais, agus Labhraim beagan Gaeilge
Kobold: “I wish to raid the kitchen for two knucklehead trout, some lard, and to snip some hair from the two goats there, yes.”
DM: “Uh, wow...alright...may I ask why?”
Kobold: “I wish to teach the Warlock a lesson.”
(later on)
DM: “Make an Animal Handling check to see if you can cut some hair from the goats without disturbing them.”
Kobold: “Natural 1.”
DM: “...have you ever heard a goat scream? Because now two of them are doing it.”
(the chef starts to wake up)
Chef: “Dear gods, what is happening...!?”
Kobold: “SLEEP!”
(casts “Sleep” and runs away)
(still later on)
DM: “So you visited the elderly seer...alone, and in the middle of the night, mind you...and she told you an apocalyptic vision...right before passing away.”
Kobold: “...oh, no: They’ll never believe me.”
Player: “Not only that, but you made those two goats scream bloody murder.”
Another Player: “In a castle occupied by murderous cultists.”
Kobold: “Well, then that sorts itself out, then.”
DM: “What do you wish to do now?”
Kobold: “...I wish to raid the kitchen for two knucklehead trout, some lard, and to cut some hair from the goats.”
“Are you seriously complaining that I’m giving you more attacks!”
[deciding wether to surrender or fight the ogres approaching with both martials dying]
Paladin: Never!
Monk: There is literally no way that we can beat 3 ogres and 8 orcs like this. Surrender.
DM: You two are lying unconscious on the ground. You can’t talk. [proceeds to kick both into the waiting room of the zoom for 15 minutes while the warlock decides]
Was this DoIP by any chance?, just curious 'cuz it is quite famous for it's harrowingly unbalanced encounters :).
“Are you seriously complaining that I’m giving you more attacks!”
[deciding wether to surrender or fight the ogres approaching with both martials dying]
Paladin: Never!
Monk: There is literally no way that we can beat 3 ogres and 8 orcs like this. Surrender.
DM: You two are lying unconscious on the ground. You can’t talk. [proceeds to kick both into the waiting room of the zoom for 15 minutes while the warlock decides]
Was this DoIP by any chance?, just curious 'cuz it is quite famous for it's harrowingly unbalanced encounters :).
What does DoIP stand for?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus] Waffles!
”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
“Are you seriously complaining that I’m giving you more attacks!”
[deciding wether to surrender or fight the ogres approaching with both martials dying]
Paladin: Never!
Monk: There is literally no way that we can beat 3 ogres and 8 orcs like this. Surrender.
DM: You two are lying unconscious on the ground. You can’t talk. [proceeds to kick both into the waiting room of the zoom for 15 minutes while the warlock decides]
Was this DoIP by any chance?, just curious 'cuz it is quite famous for it's harrowingly unbalanced encounters :).
“Are you seriously complaining that I’m giving you more attacks!”
[deciding wether to surrender or fight the ogres approaching with both martials dying]
Paladin: Never!
Monk: There is literally no way that we can beat 3 ogres and 8 orcs like this. Surrender.
DM: You two are lying unconscious on the ground. You can’t talk. [proceeds to kick both into the waiting room of the zoom for 15 minutes while the warlock decides]
Was this DoIP by any chance?, just curious 'cuz it is quite famous for it's harrowingly unbalanced encounters :).
What does DoIP stand for?
Dragon of Icespire Peak.
Yes. A homebrewed version, but yeah.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus] Waffles!
”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
“Are you seriously complaining that I’m giving you more attacks!”
[deciding wether to surrender or fight the ogres approaching with both martials dying]
Paladin: Never!
Monk: There is literally no way that we can beat 3 ogres and 8 orcs like this. Surrender.
DM: You two are lying unconscious on the ground. You can’t talk. [proceeds to kick both into the waiting room of the zoom for 15 minutes while the warlock decides]
Was this DoIP by any chance?, just curious 'cuz it is quite famous for it's harrowingly unbalanced encounters :).
What does DoIP stand for?
Dragon of Icespire Peak.
Yes. A homebrewed version, but yeah.
Cool, DoIP is fairly easy to homebrew for, one of the reasons me and another DM enjoyed it so much :).
“Are you seriously complaining that I’m giving you more attacks!”
[deciding wether to surrender or fight the ogres approaching with both martials dying]
Paladin: Never!
Monk: There is literally no way that we can beat 3 ogres and 8 orcs like this. Surrender.
DM: You two are lying unconscious on the ground. You can’t talk. [proceeds to kick both into the waiting room of the zoom for 15 minutes while the warlock decides]
Was this DoIP by any chance?, just curious 'cuz it is quite famous for it's harrowingly unbalanced encounters :).
What does DoIP stand for?
Dragon of Icespire Peak.
Yes. A homebrewed version, but yeah.
Cool, DoIP is fairly easy to homebrew for, one of the reasons me and another DM enjoyed it so much :).
Yeah. Ours is the same, but without the actual dragon. There’s some mysterious drow homebrew boss that ties into our main arc.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus] Waffles!
”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
NPC Guide: How do you know that? Druid: An omniscient extradimensional being told me (the DM). NPC: Are you sure you don't have schizophrenia? Druid: I might. I'm not sure if that term was in use at this time period, though. NPC: Eh, I just roll with it.
*This is a double joke, as rolling dice is a crucial part of D&D.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Player 4: "I used to be rich, you know." Player 5: "No. We didn't know that. Maybe if you tell us a 7th time, we'll know."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
*Player 2 rolls 1 and everyone else sees* Player 2: "Hold up. I got disconnected." *Player 2 reconnects* Player 2: "I didn't get to see the roll. Can I roll again?" DM: "Sure." *Player 2 rolls better* (still fails)
-later-
*Player 2 rolls 1 and everyone else sees* Player 2: "Dang it! I got disconnected." *Player 2 reconnects* Player 2: "I didn't see the roll again. Do I reroll?" DM: "Um... Sure." *Player 2 rolls better* (succeeds)
-later-
*Player 2 rolls 1* (It plays out the same way as the prior 2 times. Everyone else is getting suspicious.) Player 3 (private to everyone else but Player 2): "He's fumbling so ba d that it disconnects him IRL."
-later-
*DM's creature rolls a crit against Player 2* Player 2: "What happened? I got kicked!" DM: "She crit'd you so hard that she disconnected you IRL."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player1: "When I'm on my death bed, I want to bring both of my ex wives to my side so I can tell them both to "Go to Hell" one last time before I pass."
DM/Guard: "That's a badass Ron Swanson quote."
The entire table starts giggling uncontrollably.
Player4: We need to stop breaking the fourth wall!
DM: Who says he was breaking the fourth wall??
Ron Swanson become a Greater God of the Forgotten realms that day.
What a beautiful day....
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that... "Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent* "Eliksni must rise...yes?" _________ When it comes to pronouns I preferVariks-Senpai(But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
NPC Guide: How do you know that? Druid: An omniscient extradimensional being told me (the DM). NPC: Are you sure you don't have schizophrenia? Druid: I might. I'm not sure if that term was in use at this time period, though. NPC: Eh, I just roll with it.
*This is a double joke, as rolling dice is a crucial part of D&D.
*THIS IS SO FUNNY.*
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that... "Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent* "Eliksni must rise...yes?" _________ When it comes to pronouns I preferVariks-Senpai(But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
“Are you seriously complaining that I’m giving you more attacks!”
[deciding wether to surrender or fight the ogres approaching with both martials dying]
Paladin: Never!
Monk: There is literally no way that we can beat 3 ogres and 8 orcs like this. Surrender.
DM: You two are lying unconscious on the ground. You can’t talk. [proceeds to kick both into the waiting room of the zoom for 15 minutes while the warlock decides]
Was this DoIP by any chance?, just curious 'cuz it is quite famous for it's harrowingly unbalanced encounters :).
What does DoIP stand for?
Dragon of Icespire Peak.
Yes. A homebrewed version, but yeah.
Cool, DoIP is fairly easy to homebrew for, one of the reasons me and another DM enjoyed it so much :).
Yeah. Ours is the same, but without the actual dragon. There’s some mysterious drow homebrew boss that ties into our main arc.
I'm running DoIP and it's...... Some of the encounters...... Aren't balanced? Especailly with scaling? *coughs* gold toe mine *cough* I'm terrified of TPK constantly/ Only part I've homebrewed are random things like a floor gnome.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it. Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks. MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
A long time ago in an edition many, many times older...
One of our players couldn't sit still for anything - expositions, players deciding on the next course of action, waiting on other players' and NPCs' turns during combat... His favorite phrase was shouting, "I'm bored!" just before doing something exceedingly reckless and dangerous to the party.
Another of our players: "Is there some kind of adult Ritalin we can give him that doesn't involve alcohol?"
(EDIT: In before certain offerings of suggestions: Nobody smoked in our group.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Falcon to new player: Hello Vigor, these people are on a quest and you are going to join them because plot convinience UH I mean because it'd be good practice.
Player who plays Vigor: Plot convienience, great reason!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it. Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks. MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
(Not dnd)
"And because we're responsible adults we handle problems responsibly. And by that I mean trial by combat."
Helper of Create a World thread/Sedge is Chaotic Neutral/ Mega Yahtzee High: 34, Low: 14/I speak English, je me parle le Francais, agus Labhraim beagan Gaeilge
Dream of Days Lore Bard 9/Wizard 4 Baulder's Gate: Descent to Avernus (In Person/Over Zoom)
Saleadon Morgul Battle Smith Artificer 11 Tyranny of Dragons (In Person/Over Zoom)
Hurtharn Serpti Ghostslayer Blood Hunter 7 Spelljammer (Over Zoom)
Ex Sig
Kobold: “I wish to raid the kitchen for two knucklehead trout, some lard, and to snip some hair from the two goats there, yes.”
DM: “Uh, wow...alright...may I ask why?”
Kobold: “I wish to teach the Warlock a lesson.”
(later on)
DM: “Make an Animal Handling check to see if you can cut some hair from the goats without disturbing them.”
Kobold: “Natural 1.”
DM: “...have you ever heard a goat scream? Because now two of them are doing it.”
(the chef starts to wake up)
Chef: “Dear gods, what is happening...!?”
Kobold: “SLEEP!”
(casts “Sleep” and runs away)
(still later on)
DM: “So you visited the elderly seer...alone, and in the middle of the night, mind you...and she told you an apocalyptic vision...right before passing away.”
Kobold: “...oh, no: They’ll never believe me.”
Player: “Not only that, but you made those two goats scream bloody murder.”
Another Player: “In a castle occupied by murderous cultists.”
Kobold: “Well, then that sorts itself out, then.”
DM: “What do you wish to do now?”
Kobold: “...I wish to raid the kitchen for two knucklehead trout, some lard, and to cut some hair from the goats.”
Was this DoIP by any chance?, just curious 'cuz it is quite famous for it's harrowingly unbalanced encounters :).
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
What does DoIP stand for?
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
Dragon of Icespire Peak.
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
Yes. A homebrewed version, but yeah.
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
Cool, DoIP is fairly easy to homebrew for, one of the reasons me and another DM enjoyed it so much :).
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
Yeah. Ours is the same, but without the actual dragon. There’s some mysterious drow homebrew boss that ties into our main arc.
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
"I forgot I was holding a child."
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
"Wait, where's the dog?"
Come participate in the Competition of the Finest Brews, Edition XXVIII?
My homebrew stuff:
Spells, Monsters, Magic Items, Feats, Subclasses.
I am an Archfey, but nobody seems to notice.
Extended Signature
Here's one from my latest session.
NPC Guide: How do you know that?
Druid: An omniscient extradimensional being told me (the DM).
NPC: Are you sure you don't have schizophrenia?
Druid: I might. I'm not sure if that term was in use at this time period, though.
NPC: Eh, I just roll with it.
*This is a double joke, as rolling dice is a crucial part of D&D.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Player 4: "I used to be rich, you know."
Player 5: "No. We didn't know that. Maybe if you tell us a 7th time, we'll know."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Everyone's playing through VTT.
*Player 2 rolls 1 and everyone else sees*
Player 2: "Hold up. I got disconnected."
*Player 2 reconnects*
Player 2: "I didn't get to see the roll. Can I roll again?"
DM: "Sure."
*Player 2 rolls better* (still fails)
-later-
*Player 2 rolls 1 and everyone else sees*
Player 2: "Dang it! I got disconnected."
*Player 2 reconnects*
Player 2: "I didn't see the roll again. Do I reroll?"
DM: "Um... Sure."
*Player 2 rolls better* (succeeds)
-later-
*Player 2 rolls 1*
(It plays out the same way as the prior 2 times. Everyone else is getting suspicious.)
Player 3 (private to everyone else but Player 2): "He's fumbling so ba d that it disconnects him IRL."
-later-
*DM's creature rolls a crit against Player 2*
Player 2: "What happened? I got kicked!"
DM: "She crit'd you so hard that she disconnected you IRL."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player1: "When I'm on my death bed, I want to bring both of my ex wives to my side so I can tell them both to "Go to Hell" one last time before I pass."
DM/Guard: "That's a badass Ron Swanson quote."
The entire table starts giggling uncontrollably.
Player4: We need to stop breaking the fourth wall!
DM: Who says he was breaking the fourth wall??
Ron Swanson become a Greater God of the Forgotten realms that day.
What a beautiful day....
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that...
"Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent*
"Eliksni must rise...yes?"
_________
When it comes to pronouns I prefer Variks-Senpai (But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
*THIS IS SO FUNNY.*
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that...
"Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent*
"Eliksni must rise...yes?"
_________
When it comes to pronouns I prefer Variks-Senpai (But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
I'm running DoIP and it's...... Some of the encounters...... Aren't balanced? Especailly with scaling? *coughs* gold toe mine *cough* I'm terrified of TPK constantly/ Only part I've homebrewed are random things like a floor gnome.
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it.
Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks.
MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Don't even TRY to argue with me about Star Wars.
A long time ago in an edition many, many times older...
One of our players couldn't sit still for anything - expositions, players deciding on the next course of action, waiting on other players' and NPCs' turns during combat... His favorite phrase was shouting, "I'm bored!" just before doing something exceedingly reckless and dangerous to the party.
Another of our players: "Is there some kind of adult Ritalin we can give him that doesn't involve alcohol?"
(EDIT: In before certain offerings of suggestions: Nobody smoked in our group.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
rogue suggests to cross a large gap in dungeon hallway they just run across the walls really fast.
Wizard: (to rogue) there are limits man! People aren’t machines that can just do the crazy things you think up!
rogue: it’s only crazy if it cannot be done.
wizard: it just can———
warforged monk: (starts running circles in the hallway along the floor walls and ceiling like a hamster in a wheel)
wizard: damnit Tedreic! I was trying to make a point!
cleric: (pats wizard on the shoulder) are you sure you graduated school?
Watch me on twitch
Falcon to new player: Hello Vigor, these people are on a quest and you are going to join them because plot convinience UH I mean because it'd be good practice.
Player who plays Vigor: Plot convienience, great reason!
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it.
Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks.
MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Don't even TRY to argue with me about Star Wars.
Me: *angry at fellow murder-hobo player* "I tie a noose to use on a certain halfling"
DM: Make a DEX throw to tie your rope into a noose.
Me with 8 DEX: Nat 1-1=Rolling a 0
>mfw I hanged myself
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips