I cast Phantasmal Force, creating an illusion of the film Batman and Robin. Just a projection straight into its mind of the pure, unadulterated, horror that is Batman and Robin. They say that the film is used as an interrogation/torture method in at least five countries, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Orders: try beating the retainers with one another, it'll probably be funny.
er- the brast hurfs.it must never... behind never is the word nerfed I think.
Hm.. the bras to smurf it must be nerfed (never)? Someone wants to nerf bras? No this has to be something else...
The brash m...
I give up. Lets search this cellar for interesting things. I turn on my special flashlight and start exploring the cellar.
/\ The normal part of the cellar, holding wine and stuff. contains a hidden path ||the section you first found, a damaged worktable with ashes and a to the section you found first. ||sign, and also a log that something knocked over. nearby is a || ladder to the surface, though it's one-way.
wow, I knew the sign was unclear but i didn't think it would be that hard to read... well, not much i can really do about that.
you find, on the right side of the lava-river, aside from the ubiquitous spikes, bloodflesh, and so on, an old, abandoned mine and what was probably once a settlement, but has since become a shivering mass of on the left side, you see a pile of wood- lava-veined, as usual. it might have been something once, but not now. the world is quiet, but the sound of yourself and lava bubbling. it doesn't look like there's anything here to punch.
Hidden path? Alright. I send down a minion from my inventory. He should be competent enough to scout out this shit. I give the minion my flashlight too.
@aiesenberg: I should probably give you a warning, you'll want to give me another charge point like, immediately. Depending on how much charge I get from my finale next round, I'm going to be finishing up the round after, and you're still half a charge point short of claiming Cuphead.
It's more the fact that I went through and wrote up stuff for two puzzles, and even got flavor text saying I passed them, and then didn't get charge points for it. That's kinda annoying.
Uh, have people not noticed that the update's dropped yet? Also I don't think I have time to do a whole lot of flavor text before the final fight comes up, so err... The Shopkeep finishes finding his spot, and watches as Cuphead begins clearing out Inkwell Isle 1
I cast Phantasmal Force, creating an illusion of the film Batman and Robin. Just a projection straight into its mind of the pure, unadulterated, horror that is Batman and Robin. They say that the film is used as an interrogation/torture method in at least five countries, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Orders: try beating the retainers with one another, it'll probably be funny.
the eishalon rolls (with advantage of +7 due to its current resilience to all other forms- physical attacks would be +18 or so.)... "Ah,I Seeyou area manofculture as well!" [39+7] no damage. it seems the eishalon considers batman and robin to be Quality Content. Madness. (I did find your attack slightly amusing, but the eishalon rolled 46 so)
is it really a good job? he's stealing peoples souls and bringing them to the devil. anyway, as cuphead pauses to buy something from porkrind, they see something glitter out of the corner of their eye. what do?
you did do that before, its just you needed 2 instances more for cuphead ownership iiuc. EORR Perry does that. rolling with damage split among 2 retainers... R. of Folly 1 suffers existence failure[9 ] R. of Folly 1 avoids exploding R2 [29] R. of Folly 2 flickers itself around [18] 1 down! the remaining retainers band together and charge perry. 19-10 damage! The Godmodder puts another point into his charge and- one moment, I'll be right back. ʷʰᶦˢᵖᵉʳʷʰᶦˢᵖᵉʳ ɢᴏᴅᴍᴏᴅᴅᴇʀ:ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ, ᶦᶠ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ᵃⁿᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ʲᵒᵏᵉ... ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵘˢᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᵃʳᵍᵉ ⁿᵒʷ, ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ'ᵈ ᵇᵉ ⁿᵒ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉ ᶦᵗ ˡᵃᵗᵉʳ. ɢᴏᴅᴍᴏᴅᴅᴇʀ:... Sorry about the interruption, the Baconater I ordered got expedited shipping for some reason. ANYWAY! The Godmodder renames his charge again. he's decided. it's not a Log... it's not a Goblin... it's not some Zombies(those are so last boss)... It's a Log Goblin Zombie! and then he summons it! I'm sure the zombification won't reduce its competence with the Log at all! It's about as tall as a human teen, and looks about like one too, except for the zombification. if not for me telling you, you wouldn't even be able to tell it was a goblin! Oh, but it is. I'm not sure Goblins, log or otherwise, actually Exist here, but Log Goblin Zombies certainly do. LOG GOBLIN ZOMBIE: I AM THE LOG GOBLIN ZOMBIE! FEAR ME ABILITY TO SWING A LOG AT YOU! Oh god who told him how to talk. well... the Log Goblin Zombie will be narrating his actions before he does them. it's probably a good idea to keep him from succeeding, though... that Log has a lot of power in it. Also, it is worth noting that he's pretty IncoLOG GOBLIN ZOMBIE: OVERHEAD SWING CHARGE ATTACK OF DOOOOOOOOOOM! ...oh, and he's shadiamond resistant, but not proof- his shadiamond will increment by 5 a round instead of up to 15.
.
[GM] Godmodder: 285 /300 HP4/4 5/5 Do you feel like wolf kabob Roth vantage? On his hopping high horse, which he is also wielding as a dire chain? Brands ( statsteral) [AG-Shard II]Eishalon II - Manifest OfFolly 2 damage mites 100% Shadiamond (highly damage resistant, will probably return to cause problems eventually..?) retainer of Folly x3 1 dm .2 dma (20% shadiamond) [A] Perry the Platypus 47/200 HP 10AC (+5 HP per turn) 30A owned by aeisenberg. 75% diamond (cannot increase) [A] Tarasque portal (100% Clogged by diamond statues of Tarasque.) [OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamondnotLoyal to Aeisenberg Mastema [AG] LOG GOBLIN ZOMBIE 120/120 HP Log Grip: 90% Log Durability: 100% Average attack: 35 State: overhead charge swing toward Perry. 5% shadiamond. [AG-A] Radiation enforcer (warming up) [AOOGA]Zombie assassin level 16 320/320 HP invis again! [IIIIIIIIII] 50% radioactive
Piono: 74% shadiamond (invis) Carleah: 85% shadiamond Aeisenberg: Flex tape rapier (minor attack buff) injured. 100% shadiamond, 100% crystalized, Favour of the Deva. Evonix: 75% shadiamond. transparent, meaning shadiamond will not further harm them. Algot: 23% shadiamond. well fed. Goldhello: lite injruy (19/20 for orbital satelite, will have damage resistance against grounded enemies) Acerac: dead (must make 1 post to return). Caaaaarl (.5 AP), tunnelbuild sidequest exists (10 ). 8 Soul points. GENE: slep. blackjack warrior. dulled voidshard (permanent) spider corpse, Warp organ, 13mrald-goop,zombie mage corpse
Okay, I summon my diamond reinforced armor and put it on.
you are now wearing: Diamond Reinforced Armor. it will block one attack on you, and any attacks bellow 3 damage. batel continoo! as usu'le. creation throws some rocks at the copters with 4 CP. they die.
[AG]Obstacle course Large wall x1 [Howard]Pillars x1 Wall with climbing rope x1 trapped path x2 room that locks once entered x1 Lava network x1(guarded, 40 HP) roomba x432Battleroombas x210 (10A) flat stone x5 Final trap x1[Books]Energy Field 130 HP, +5 per turn. Godmodder lower body + torso [AG] Godmodder's creation 107(10 Regen) HP 4 CP (+4 per turn!) 1/3 Extra Trap / Field Trickery [A] Energy field 515HP (destroys anything it touches!) +15 HP per round [P] Booksbooks3 41/100 HP. in obstacle course , electricity proof, invisible. Golden non-squeaky hammer! defense from 1 attack! [A-wooby] LEGO howard the duck 20/35 HP 8A splash 1(2 A) [A-wooby] Villager tank 15HP 2A
Hidden path? Alright. I send down a minion from my inventory. He should be competent enough to scout out this shit. I give the minion my flashlight too.
no, you're In the hidden part, it's where the sign is. it's hidden from the normal cellar. you got in through breaking the floor, so it didn't keep you from finding it. it's hidden from the perspective of normal people, who don't use magic to destroy the mansion of the person they want help from.
Cuphead, decides to investigates the shiny golden thing, getting him somewhat distracted. After grabbing or running from the shiny thing, whichever is more appropriate, he moves on to Inkwell Isle 2. He has a bit more difficulty here, but he's doing a pretty decent job here.
Updating has occassionally been delayed, and sometimes sidequest dops don't get to happen between main ones. because of this, and also on a whim, I've decided to make 2 sidequest updates before the next main one, post speed and time permitting.
you head to the mine! on entrance, you quickly see that it is more of a glorified cave then a mine, with a large pool of... yellow water? there's probably something else involved, but you don't know what. that took longer to make then it should have. also, hotbar's missing some items because classes & lasy and shtuf.
Cuphead, decides to investigates the shiny golden thing, getting him somewhat distracted. After grabbing or running from the shiny thing, whichever is more appropriate, he moves on to Inkwell Isle 2. He has a bit more difficulty here, but he's doing a pretty decent job here.
i never said it was golden. it turns out there's another potion (a bubbling purple-blue mixture) apart from the other wares, and the green was part of the symbol for the price... it looks like some kind of grn gmston, though the sign doesn't have a real specimen, as porkrind soon explains. Porkrind says if cuphead finds any of these on his travels, he'd be glad to trade something from this section to him.
I actually thought of that, about a second or two after I wrote down the armor effect, but i figured you probably wouldn't think of it, since usually when I stick in a solution that I think is obvious, nobody notices, and this one didn't even seem that obvious. but fair's fair. you walk straight through. the battle outside slows down, and everyone turns to look. the creation does whatever a machine does instead of cursing, it should have focussed more on you! you stand there, before a somewhat-ornate box- though not overly so. encased within the field, nothing can interrupt you. All that's left is opening it. also, de-equipping the golden hammer, since you can't do such things while it is equipped. (this turn delay won't let the field kill you, you're inside it, where it doesn't apply (as proven by the box still existing.)) ...near the box is a slightly darker patch of ground, noticeable against the otherwise-uniform glowing cyan floor. weird, right? right. important? probably not.
[SQ-Reward] Ornate Box. needs to be opened. [AG] Godmodder body-except-head [P] Booksbooks3 41/100 HP. within field , electricity proof, invisible. Golden non-squeaky hammer!
Cuphead is continuing along on his journey, he’s made it up to inkwell isle 3, which means he’s got quite a bit going for him. If he can keep going at this rate, he’ll have all the contracts in no time. The shopkeep sits back, it’s almost time to intervene, but not quite yet, he needs to let cuphead grow in power just a bit more so that he’ll be stronger when he gets summoned to the field as someone else’s lackey for once. And then suddenly, as Cuphead is walking along the island, preparing for his next bout, a burst of fire lights up, and the Devil appears. The shopkeeper jolts upright and peers forward, this… this isn’t part of the script. He watches in growing worry as the Devil unfolds his arms and leans down, eyeing Cuphead. “Alright half pint, your time’s up, you have those contracts yet?” “What? No! I’ve been collecting them as fast as possible, I haven’t had time!” “Hmph, that’s too bad for you I suppose, I’m coming to collect.” “You can’t do that, we had a-” “A deal? The deal was you’d get all the contracts, and you haven’t done that, now have you?” The Shopkeeper stands up and reaches into one of his coat pockets as Cuphead tries to stammer out an objection, but the Devil sweeps him up, and holds him by one hand. “You’re in debt, and you didn’t make the pay in time, well, now it’s time to-” The Devil is interrupted by the shopkeeper appearing behind him with a flash. “Oh? Who is this now, friend of yours?” “uh… n-no, I don’t know who-” “Hmph, fine. What do you want?” The shopkeeper looks the Devil, who is several times taller than him, up and down. He cricks his neck to one side, and then the other, before cracking his knuckles. “I’m here because you’re not supposed to come out and grab the little ceramic just yet.” “And why not? The devil can’t have debts himself?” The shopkeeper raises an eyebrow. “Well, under normal circumstances, sure you’d be fine, but you happen to have happened across the one that I’ve been putting extra amounts of effort into, and I kind of need him alive.” The Devil laughs, a cold, evil laugh. “And what makes you think you can stop me?” “Well, I was going to offer you a trade, but if you want to do it the hard way I can certainly oblige you.” The Devil leans forward, giving a close eyeball to the Shopkeeper, who looks up at him, then leans back, and before the Devil can react, materializes a pitchfork in the pulled back hand, and jams it into the Devil’s eye. The Devil screeches and recoils, nearly dropping cuphead. He massages his eye and looks down at the shopkeeper, who folds his arms, glaring at the devil. The shopkeeper speaks first. “So are you gonna put him down or do I have to beat you senseless?” The Devil scowls. “If you want the kid you’ll have to take him from me, meet me in inkwell hell if you want to ever see him again.” The Devil reaches up and pulls at himself, transforming into a mighty serpent that flies away off into the distance, clutching a screaming cuphead. The shopkeep watches the Devil fly off and rolls his eyes, looks like he’s got work to do. This better work out, he’s gonna be real pissed if he blew 30 charge on someone who was just up and gonna get kidnapped and then killed before he could activate it all. So the shopkeeper opens a portal and hops through it.
An hour or so later, in the depths of inkwell hell... The Devil ruminates on his recent humiliation and intended revenge. “Hmph, I wonder how long it’ll take for that freak to ge-” “Hello were you talking about me?” “WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?” “Nowhere and everywhere at the same time.” “For that alone I should squash you.” “Try if you want, I’m out of your league.” “We’ll see how smart that mouth of yours is when it’s smeared across the floor.”
The Shopkeep doffs his coat onto the floor, and it gets up and crawls offscreen as the Devil leans in and does sort of like his intro animation in the normal bossfight against him in cuphead, except the pupils start showing the shopkeep getting run through with spikes, except it doesn't finish because the shopkeep jams another pitchfork in the Devil’s eye with one hand, eating a piece of conjured toast with the other. He is very clearly not worried about the Devil in the slightest. The Devil sits back into his throne, pulling the pitchfork out and glaring with his other eye as the Shopkeep sorta goes into combat-slouch mode.
And Begin!
The Devil immediately twirls his trident, and conjures up several balls of fire that bounce around the portion of the arena that the Shopkeep is in, the shopkeep doesn’t seem fazed at all, he nonchalantly sidesteps them as they come past, seeming to be prepping for a proper attack on the Devil, mostly just stopping to occasionally pelt the Devil with potatoes, doing bits and pieces of scratch damage, until finally he pulls a massive leek out of his pocket, and winds up, a sort of baseball pitcher motion, and swings around, slamming it into one of the fireballs, causing it to ricochet around the arena and slam into the Devil, who, not expecting it, almost falls out of his chair. As the Devil starts to climb back into his throne, several smaller demons start coming in with bombs, which the Shopkeeper looks at with a bored look on his face, before snapping his fingers and backflipping into the air as a massive combine harvester rumbles across the screen, grinding up all of the little demonlings as they come out. The shopkeep lands, and the Devil, halfway into his throne again, just sort of stares at the mess left by the combine harvester crossing the stage. The shopkeep looks back at the devil and raises an eyebrow. “Well?” The Devil scowls and stamps his trident on the ground as he climbs back into his seat, and a bunch of crystal spheres appear and begin circling around, to which the shopkeep responds by pulling out a lamp and some sunglasses. He steps out of the way of one of the crystal spheres, puts on the sunglasses then removes the lampshade and turns on the lamp. The light shines extremely brightly, and the Devil has to cover his eyes, then while the Devil is distracted, the Shopkeeper activates catlike speed, and launches through all the crystal spheres at once with a single attack that shatters all of them. The Devil uncovers his eyes and just stares slack jawed at the goings on, this insolent buffoon is making a fool out of him and negating all his attacks! This isn’t how this fight was supposed to go, in the slightest. The Devil decides to try attacking more directly, and transforms into a massive serpent, snaking around his throne and then shooting out the side, coming back in to try and attack the Shopkeep that way, the shopkeeper raises his hand, and a massive playing card flips him around and out of sight, the Devil stops, and suddenly realizes he is surrounded by a field of playing cards of different suits, he immediately untransforms, searching around for the shopkeep, only for the shopkeep to flip back into existence on the far side of the playing cards, and point, causing the playing cards to slice through the Devil at high speed. The Devil staggers back to his throne, and then extends his arms out, reaching to try and grab the shopkeep, who flips out of their reach, and begins leading them on a chase around the arena, all over the place, until they crisscross the entire screen to a ridiculous extent. Suddenly, the Devil realizes he’s stuck, he’s tied his arms into a knot. The shopkeep stands back and laughs, then cups his hands over his mouth and makes a peculiar sound. Then the floor begins to rumble. The Devil looks around fearfully as the rumbling gets louder and louder as he tries to untangle his arms. The shopkeep pulls back a sleeve and looks at his watch as the Devil finally finishes getting himself untangled, just in time for the wave of mini mammoths to knock the wall down, and charge into the room, knocking over the throne and trampling all over the Devil. The Devil lets out a blast of fire, burning the mini mammoths away and climbing to his feet, picking up his trident. “ALRIGHT. This tomfoolery’s gone on LONG ENOUGH.” The shopkeep yawns. “‘bout time you stopped messing around. I was worried you wouldn’t actually put up a fight.” The Devil roars and charges forward with his trident, which the shopkeep jumps up on top of, runs up, and before the Devil can respond, sticks another pitchfork in his eye. The Devil howls and swings and thrusts, trying to catch the overly speedy shopkeep, but no matter how hard he tries, he just can’t seem to land a hit. “You know for someone who calls himself the devil, you’re not that intimidating. Oh well, time to finish this up.” The shopkeep hops up on top of the Devil’s head, and flips off, twisting in the air, forming his hands into a hadouken shape, the Devil whirls around just in time to be blasted off the side of the screen, his trident twirling in the air where he was standing before it lands point down in the ground. The shopkeep walks towards the edge of the screen. “Did I kill him? I could’ve sworn there were more phases after this.” Behind him, the Devil jumps into a hole in the ground, and the shopkeep whirls around just in time to catch the tail end of him. “Hmph, right, that.” The shopkeep walks over to the hole in the ground and hops in. He lands down on top of a massive poker chip, five of them hovering in front of the devil’s now-gigantified head. “Let’s see you negate my attacks now!” The shopkeep slouches and groans. “You know what, this has gotten boring, I’m just going to kill you now.” “You’re what.” The shopkeep backflips off of the platform as the flaming poker chips come raining down to start damaging him. Halfway into his arc, the shopkeep does a somersault and comes out of it no longer a middle aged man, but instead a massive black and purple dragon. The Devil has barely any time to respond before the shopkeep, now in dragon form, charges forward, breathing purple flames the entire way, turning into a massive purple meteor that slams into the Devil in a massive head-on collision.
Knockout!
The shopkeep hops up out of the hole in the ground as it slowly begins to close, and looks up at Cuphead in his cage, staring in total awe at the shopkeep. “Uhh… uh… am I free to go then?” “No, ownership of your contract has passed to me.” If cuphead could go pale, he would. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to make you take your friend’s contracts, all of theirs, including your brother’s, contracts are now null and void. They’re off scot free. I just need something from you.” Cuphead gulps. “Uh… what do you need?” “Basically the same thing your previous employer did, I need you to kill people for me. Well, not for me, for someone else, basically, you’ve been drafted.” “...” “Hey, your brother gets off scot free at the very least, what did you expect when you went off gambling your soul for a cruddy casino, anyways?”
A giant rumble from the ground takes place... the ship flys into the sky, and a cannon orbits the sun. Ladies and gentlemen... the Excalium Orbital Cannon.
Excalium Orbital Cannon 150/150 HP CHARGE GAUGE [||||||||||||||||||||] (Has a charge gauge that increases by 1 every turn, holds 20 charges. The cannon may expend all of it's charges to fire on a position via teleportation magic. The laser does 15*charge number damage. Extra 50 damage if fully charged. You can decide to not take a charge in exchange for a damage increase of +15 this turn. Buffs are shared with owner. Highly resistant to ground attacks)
I order my minion to facepalm for me because of my stupidity. Then I let the minion explore the house while I summon my discord avatar again for a more elaborate description of the way to the mentioned red crypt with a lone survivor.
Hm, looks like I better get my post ready for next round, cuz my third post is gonna need to be the super fight one.
But in churgland, Cuphead is doing a pretty good job of clearing up contracts.
26/35 for Gettin' Mugged
Credits:
aeisenberg: 3
GENE: 1 (afk)
Redrover: 1 (afk)
Wooby: .8
I give piono a charge
who is this targetingz?
/\ The normal part of the cellar, holding wine and stuff. contains a hidden path ||the section you first found, a damaged worktable with ashes and a
to the section you found first. ||sign, and also a log that something knocked over. nearby is a || ladder to the surface, though it's one-way.
wow, I knew the sign was unclear but i didn't think it would be that hard to read... well, not much i can really do about that.
you find, on the right side of the lava-river, aside from the ubiquitous spikes, bloodflesh, and so on, an old, abandoned mine and what was probably once a settlement, but has since become a shivering mass of
on the left side, you see a pile of wood- lava-veined, as usual. it might have been something once, but not now.
the world is quiet, but the sound of yourself and lava bubbling. it doesn't look like there's anything here to punch.
[40-Ma] Woobydoobydoo 330/597 ❤ Equipped:
stick- Cool staff bro (unidentified)(two-handed) ? damage,
hat- corrupt beast's jaw (unidentified)(150 hp, min ~13 str, - 9 regen)
Chestplate- Shining gold chestplate (+247 HP) 8 soul Points 16/20 ✹ 37257/46000 XP Bubbles! (10 regen, thorns X) known spells: Heal (R-L-R), Teleport (R-R-R), Meteor (R-L-L), Ice snake (R-R-L)
Buffs: 15% crit chance, +15% non-crit damage, -14% to incoming damage, 14% dodge chance, -15% mana cost (random rounding), +15% ✹, ✦,
Quadruple XP for 1 minutes (1 posts)!
, 10+207 
, thank-you note, weird "compass"
Wobbydoobydoo : beast jaw, cool staff bro, bbls, shining gold chestplate, unidentified leggings
Goldhero fails the roll to round from 19.5 to 20, and instead has decreased to 19, resulting on whole-number charge amounts.
Hidden path? Alright. I send down a minion from my inventory. He should be competent enough to scout out this shit. I give the minion my flashlight too.
@aiesenberg: I should probably give you a warning, you'll want to give me another charge point like, immediately. Depending on how much charge I get from my finale next round, I'm going to be finishing up the round after, and you're still half a charge point short of claiming Cuphead.
/marketnull.
Okay, I summon my diamond reinforced armor and put it on.
Stella Diamant, Human Rogue 17 (Swashbuckler), The Exploits of Misfit Company
Kat, Medtech, Cyberpunk: Red
Shi, Changeling Bard 4 (College of Spirits), Tyrant's Grasp
Dani, Human Artificer 9 (Armorer), Skulls and Starships
DM, Project Point (Teams Scimitar and Longsword)
Everything Else!
you only solved one, the other is the cupheads-soul-is-still-owed one. u hculugulekbj
as requested in a PM, your charge has been random-rounded, and your roll was... 1
charge set to 19/20
sadly, my knowledge of II1 doesn't bring any puzzle-things to mind
the eishalon rolls (with advantage of +7 due to its current resilience to all other forms- physical attacks would be +18 or so.)...
"Ah, I See you are a man of culture as well!" [39+7]
no damage. it seems the eishalon considers batman and robin to be Quality Content. Madness.
(I did find your attack slightly amusing, but the eishalon rolled 46 so)
you do the thing.
is it really a good job? he's stealing peoples souls and bringing them to the devil.
anyway, as cuphead pauses to buy something from porkrind, they see something glitter out of the corner of their eye. what do?
you do that!
you did do that before, its just you needed 2 instances more for cuphead ownership iiuc.
EORR
Perry does that. rolling with damage split among 2 retainers...
R. of Folly 1 suffers existence failure[9 ]
R. of Folly 1 avoids exploding R2 [29]
R. of Folly 2 flickers itself around [18]
1 down!
the remaining retainers band together and charge perry. 19-10 damage!
The Godmodder puts another point into his charge and- one moment, I'll be right back.
ʷʰᶦˢᵖᵉʳʷʰᶦˢᵖᵉʳ
ɢᴏᴅᴍᴏᴅᴅᴇʀ:ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ, ᶦᶠ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ᵃⁿᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ʲᵒᵏᵉ...
ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵘˢᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᵃʳᵍᵉ ⁿᵒʷ, ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ'ᵈ ᵇᵉ ⁿᵒ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉ ᶦᵗ ˡᵃᵗᵉʳ.
ɢᴏᴅᴍᴏᴅᴅᴇʀ:...
Sorry about the interruption, the Baconater I ordered got expedited shipping for some reason.
ANYWAY! The Godmodder renames his charge again. he's decided. it's not a Log... it's not a Goblin... it's not some Zombies(those are so last boss)...
It's a Log Goblin Zombie! and then he summons it! I'm sure the zombification won't reduce its competence with the Log at all!
It's about as tall as a human teen, and looks about like one too, except for the zombification. if not for me telling you, you wouldn't even be able to tell it was a goblin! Oh, but it is. I'm not sure Goblins, log or otherwise, actually Exist here, but Log Goblin Zombies certainly do.
LOG GOBLIN ZOMBIE: I AM THE LOG GOBLIN ZOMBIE! FEAR ME ABILITY TO SWING A LOG AT YOU!
Oh god who told him how to talk. well... the Log Goblin Zombie will be narrating his actions before he does them. it's probably a good idea to keep him from succeeding, though... that Log has a lot of power in it. Also, it is worth noting that he's pretty IncoLOG GOBLIN ZOMBIE: OVERHEAD SWING CHARGE ATTACK OF DOOOOOOOOOOM!
...oh, and he's shadiamond resistant, but not proof- his shadiamond will increment by 5 a round instead of up to 15.
.
[GM] Godmodder: 285 /300 HP 4/4
5/5 Do you feel like wolf kabob Roth vantage? On his hopping high horse, which he is also wielding as a dire chain? Brands ( statsteral)
[AG-Shard II] Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly 2 damage mites 100% Shadiamond (highly damage resistant, will probably return to cause problems eventually..?)
retainer of Folly x3 1 dm .2 dma (20% shadiamond)
[A] Perry the Platypus 47/200 HP 10AC (+5 HP per turn) 30A owned by aeisenberg. 75% diamond (cannot increase)
[A] Tarasque portal (100% Clogged by diamond statues of Tarasque.)
[OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamondnotLoyal to Aeisenberg Mastema
[AG] LOG GOBLIN ZOMBIE 120/120 HP Log Grip: 90% Log Durability: 100% Average attack: 35 State: overhead charge swing toward Perry. 5% shadiamond.
[AG-A] Radiation enforcer (warming up)
[AOOGA] Zombie assassin level 16 320/320 HP invis again! [IIIIIIIIII] 50% radioactive
Piono: 74% shadiamond (invis)
Carleah: 85% shadiamond
Aeisenberg: Flex tape rapier (minor attack buff) injured. 100% shadiamond, 100% crystalized, Favour of the Deva.
Evonix: 75% shadiamond. transparent, meaning shadiamond will not further harm them.
Algot: 23% shadiamond. well fed.
Goldhello: lite injruy (19/20 for orbital satelite, will have damage resistance against grounded enemies)
Acerac: dead (must make 1 post to return). Caaaaarl (.5 AP), tunnelbuild sidequest exists (10
GENE: slep. blackjack warrior. dulled voidshard (permanent) spider corpse, Warp organ, 13
you are now wearing: Diamond Reinforced Armor. it will block one attack on you, and any attacks bellow 3 damage.
batel continoo! as usu'le.
creation throws some rocks at the copters with 4 CP. they die.
[AG] Obstacle course Large wall x1 [Howard] Pillars x1 Wall with climbing rope x1 trapped path x2 room that locks once entered x1 Lava network x1(guarded, 40 HP) roomba x432 Battle roombas x210 (10A) flat stone x5 Final trap x1[Books] Energy Field 130 HP, +5 per turn. Godmodder lower body + torso
[AG] Godmodder's creation 107(10 Regen) HP 4 CP (+4 per turn!) 1/3 Extra Trap / Field Trickery
[A] Energy field 515HP (destroys anything it touches!) +15 HP per round
[P] Booksbooks3 41/100 HP. in obstacle course , electricity proof, invisible. Golden non-squeaky hammer! defense from 1 attack!
[A-wooby] LEGO howard the duck 20/35 HP 8A splash 1(2 A)
[A-wooby] Villager tank 15HP 2A
no, you're In the hidden part, it's where the sign is. it's hidden from the normal cellar. you got in through breaking the floor, so it didn't keep you from finding it. it's hidden from the perspective of normal people, who don't use magic to destroy the mansion of the person they want help from.
I head off to the mine.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
Thanks Algot, aeisenberg.
Cuphead, decides to investigates the shiny golden thing, getting him somewhat distracted.
After grabbing or running from the shiny thing, whichever is more appropriate, he moves on to Inkwell Isle 2. He has a bit more difficulty here, but he's doing a pretty decent job here.
29/35 for Gettin' Mugged
Credits:
aeisenberg: 4
Algot: 1
GENE: 1 (afk)
Redrover: 1 (afk)
Wooby: .8
I go through the energy field in my armor.
Stella Diamant, Human Rogue 17 (Swashbuckler), The Exploits of Misfit Company
Kat, Medtech, Cyberpunk: Red
Shi, Changeling Bard 4 (College of Spirits), Tyrant's Grasp
Dani, Human Artificer 9 (Armorer), Skulls and Starships
DM, Project Point (Teams Scimitar and Longsword)
Everything Else!
Updating has occassionally been delayed, and sometimes sidequest dops don't get to happen between main ones. because of this, and also on a whim, I've decided to make 2 sidequest updates before the next main one, post speed and time permitting.
you head to the mine! on entrance, you quickly see that it is more of a glorified cave then a mine, with a large pool of... yellow water? there's probably something else involved, but you don't know what.
that took longer to make then it should have. also, hotbar's missing some items because classes & lasy and shtuf.
[40-Ma] Woobydoobydoo 332/597 ❤ Equipped:
stick- Cool staff bro (unidentified)(two-handed) ? damage,
hat- corrupt beast's jaw (unidentified)(150 hp, min ~13 str, - 9 regen)
Chestplate- Shining gold chestplate (+247 HP) 8 soul Points 18/20 ✹ 37257/46000 XP Bubbles! (10 regen, thorns X) known spells: Heal (R-L-R), Teleport (R-R-R), Meteor (R-L-L), Ice snake (R-R-L)
Buffs: 15% crit chance, +15% non-crit damage, -14% to incoming damage, 14% dodge chance, -15% mana cost (random rounding), +15% ✹, ✦,
Wobbydoobydoo : beast jaw, cool staff bro, bbls, shining gold chestplate, unidentified leggings
i never said it was golden. it turns out there's another potion (a bubbling purple-blue mixture) apart from the other wares, and the green was part of the symbol for the price... it looks like some kind of gr
n g
mston
, though the sign doesn't have a real specimen, as porkrind soon explains. Porkrind says if cuphead finds any of these on his travels, he'd be glad to trade something from this section to him.
I actually thought of that, about a second or two after I wrote down the armor effect, but i figured you probably wouldn't think of it, since usually when I stick in a solution that I think is obvious, nobody notices, and this one didn't even seem that obvious. but fair's fair. you walk straight through. the battle outside slows down, and everyone turns to look. the creation does whatever a machine does instead of cursing, it should have focussed more on you!
you stand there, before a somewhat-ornate box- though not overly so. encased within the field, nothing can interrupt you.
All that's left is opening it. also, de-equipping the golden hammer, since you can't do such things while it is equipped.
(this turn delay won't let the field kill you, you're inside it, where it doesn't apply (as proven by the box still existing.))
...near the box is a slightly darker patch of ground, noticeable against the otherwise-uniform glowing cyan floor. weird, right? right. important? probably not.
[SQ-Reward] Ornate Box. needs to be opened.
[AG] Godmodder body-except-head
[P] Booksbooks3 41/100 HP. within field , electricity proof, invisible. Golden non-squeaky hammer!
cuphead finishes clearing out Inkwell Isle 2, and moves onwards.
But it feels like something bad is about to happen... (don't bother giving me another puzzle JOE, super post drop happens next post.)
30/35 for Gettin' Mugged
Credits:
aeisenberg: 4
Algot: 1
GENE: 1 (afk)
Redrover: 1 (afk)
Wooby: .8
I pop a heal and examine the yellow water, looking out for traps or ambushes.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
Y'all ready for something great?
Shopkeep vs. The Devil
Cuphead is continuing along on his journey, he’s made it up to inkwell isle 3, which means he’s got quite a bit going for him. If he can keep going at this rate, he’ll have all the contracts in no time. The shopkeep sits back, it’s almost time to intervene, but not quite yet, he needs to let cuphead grow in power just a bit more so that he’ll be stronger when he gets summoned to the field as someone else’s lackey for once.
And then suddenly, as Cuphead is walking along the island, preparing for his next bout, a burst of fire lights up, and the Devil appears.
The shopkeeper jolts upright and peers forward, this… this isn’t part of the script. He watches in growing worry as the Devil unfolds his arms and leans down, eyeing Cuphead.
“Alright half pint, your time’s up, you have those contracts yet?”
“What? No! I’ve been collecting them as fast as possible, I haven’t had time!”
“Hmph, that’s too bad for you I suppose, I’m coming to collect.”
“You can’t do that, we had a-”
“A deal? The deal was you’d get all the contracts, and you haven’t done that, now have you?”
The Shopkeeper stands up and reaches into one of his coat pockets as Cuphead tries to stammer out an objection, but the Devil sweeps him up, and holds him by one hand.
“You’re in debt, and you didn’t make the pay in time, well, now it’s time to-”
The Devil is interrupted by the shopkeeper appearing behind him with a flash.
“Oh? Who is this now, friend of yours?”
“uh… n-no, I don’t know who-”
“Hmph, fine. What do you want?”
The shopkeeper looks the Devil, who is several times taller than him, up and down. He cricks his neck to one side, and then the other, before cracking his knuckles.
“I’m here because you’re not supposed to come out and grab the little ceramic just yet.”
“And why not? The devil can’t have debts himself?”
The shopkeeper raises an eyebrow. “Well, under normal circumstances, sure you’d be fine, but you happen to have happened across the one that I’ve been putting extra amounts of effort into, and I kind of need him alive.”
The Devil laughs, a cold, evil laugh. “And what makes you think you can stop me?”
“Well, I was going to offer you a trade, but if you want to do it the hard way I can certainly oblige you.”
The Devil leans forward, giving a close eyeball to the Shopkeeper, who looks up at him, then leans back, and before the Devil can react, materializes a pitchfork in the pulled back hand, and jams it into the Devil’s eye.
The Devil screeches and recoils, nearly dropping cuphead. He massages his eye and looks down at the shopkeeper, who folds his arms, glaring at the devil.
The shopkeeper speaks first. “So are you gonna put him down or do I have to beat you senseless?”
The Devil scowls. “If you want the kid you’ll have to take him from me, meet me in inkwell hell if you want to ever see him again.”
The Devil reaches up and pulls at himself, transforming into a mighty serpent that flies away off into the distance, clutching a screaming cuphead.
The shopkeep watches the Devil fly off and rolls his eyes, looks like he’s got work to do. This better work out, he’s gonna be real pissed if he blew 30 charge on someone who was just up and gonna get kidnapped and then killed before he could activate it all.
So the shopkeeper opens a portal and hops through it.
An hour or so later, in the depths of inkwell hell...
The Devil ruminates on his recent humiliation and intended revenge. “Hmph, I wonder how long it’ll take for that freak to ge-”
“Hello were you talking about me?”
“WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?”
“Nowhere and everywhere at the same time.”
“For that alone I should squash you.”
“Try if you want, I’m out of your league.”
“We’ll see how smart that mouth of yours is when it’s smeared across the floor.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhIs6rUn7Pg
Here’s a real high class bout!
The Shopkeep doffs his coat onto the floor, and it gets up and crawls offscreen as the Devil leans in and does sort of like his intro animation in the normal bossfight against him in cuphead, except the pupils start showing the shopkeep getting run through with spikes, except it doesn't finish because the shopkeep jams another pitchfork in the Devil’s eye with one hand, eating a piece of conjured toast with the other. He is very clearly not worried about the Devil in the slightest.
The Devil sits back into his throne, pulling the pitchfork out and glaring with his other eye as the Shopkeep sorta goes into combat-slouch mode.
And Begin!
The Devil immediately twirls his trident, and conjures up several balls of fire that bounce around the portion of the arena that the Shopkeep is in, the shopkeep doesn’t seem fazed at all, he nonchalantly sidesteps them as they come past, seeming to be prepping for a proper attack on the Devil, mostly just stopping to occasionally pelt the Devil with potatoes, doing bits and pieces of scratch damage, until finally he pulls a massive leek out of his pocket, and winds up, a sort of baseball pitcher motion, and swings around, slamming it into one of the fireballs, causing it to ricochet around the arena and slam into the Devil, who, not expecting it, almost falls out of his chair.
As the Devil starts to climb back into his throne, several smaller demons start coming in with bombs, which the Shopkeeper looks at with a bored look on his face, before snapping his fingers and backflipping into the air as a massive combine harvester rumbles across the screen, grinding up all of the little demonlings as they come out. The shopkeep lands, and the Devil, halfway into his throne again, just sort of stares at the mess left by the combine harvester crossing the stage.
The shopkeep looks back at the devil and raises an eyebrow. “Well?”
The Devil scowls and stamps his trident on the ground as he climbs back into his seat, and a bunch of crystal spheres appear and begin circling around, to which the shopkeep responds by pulling out a lamp and some sunglasses. He steps out of the way of one of the crystal spheres, puts on the sunglasses then removes the lampshade and turns on the lamp. The light shines extremely brightly, and the Devil has to cover his eyes, then while the Devil is distracted, the Shopkeeper activates catlike speed, and launches through all the crystal spheres at once with a single attack that shatters all of them.
The Devil uncovers his eyes and just stares slack jawed at the goings on, this insolent buffoon is making a fool out of him and negating all his attacks! This isn’t how this fight was supposed to go, in the slightest.
The Devil decides to try attacking more directly, and transforms into a massive serpent, snaking around his throne and then shooting out the side, coming back in to try and attack the Shopkeep that way, the shopkeeper raises his hand, and a massive playing card flips him around and out of sight, the Devil stops, and suddenly realizes he is surrounded by a field of playing cards of different suits, he immediately untransforms, searching around for the shopkeep, only for the shopkeep to flip back into existence on the far side of the playing cards, and point, causing the playing cards to slice through the Devil at high speed.
The Devil staggers back to his throne, and then extends his arms out, reaching to try and grab the shopkeep, who flips out of their reach, and begins leading them on a chase around the arena, all over the place, until they crisscross the entire screen to a ridiculous extent. Suddenly, the Devil realizes he’s stuck, he’s tied his arms into a knot. The shopkeep stands back and laughs, then cups his hands over his mouth and makes a peculiar sound.
Then the floor begins to rumble.
The Devil looks around fearfully as the rumbling gets louder and louder as he tries to untangle his arms. The shopkeep pulls back a sleeve and looks at his watch as the Devil finally finishes getting himself untangled, just in time for the wave of mini mammoths to knock the wall down, and charge into the room, knocking over the throne and trampling all over the Devil. The Devil lets out a blast of fire, burning the mini mammoths away and climbing to his feet, picking up his trident.
“ALRIGHT. This tomfoolery’s gone on LONG ENOUGH.”
The shopkeep yawns. “‘bout time you stopped messing around. I was worried you wouldn’t actually put up a fight.”
The Devil roars and charges forward with his trident, which the shopkeep jumps up on top of, runs up, and before the Devil can respond, sticks another pitchfork in his eye. The Devil howls and swings and thrusts, trying to catch the overly speedy shopkeep, but no matter how hard he tries, he just can’t seem to land a hit.
“You know for someone who calls himself the devil, you’re not that intimidating. Oh well, time to finish this up.” The shopkeep hops up on top of the Devil’s head, and flips off, twisting in the air, forming his hands into a hadouken shape, the Devil whirls around just in time to be blasted off the side of the screen, his trident twirling in the air where he was standing before it lands point down in the ground.
The shopkeep walks towards the edge of the screen.
“Did I kill him? I could’ve sworn there were more phases after this.”
Behind him, the Devil jumps into a hole in the ground, and the shopkeep whirls around just in time to catch the tail end of him.
“Hmph, right, that.”
The shopkeep walks over to the hole in the ground and hops in.
He lands down on top of a massive poker chip, five of them hovering in front of the devil’s now-gigantified head.
“Let’s see you negate my attacks now!”
The shopkeep slouches and groans. “You know what, this has gotten boring, I’m just going to kill you now.”
“You’re what.”
The shopkeep backflips off of the platform as the flaming poker chips come raining down to start damaging him. Halfway into his arc, the shopkeep does a somersault and comes out of it no longer a middle aged man, but instead a massive black and purple dragon. The Devil has barely any time to respond before the shopkeep, now in dragon form, charges forward, breathing purple flames the entire way, turning into a massive purple meteor that slams into the Devil in a massive head-on collision.
Knockout!
The shopkeep hops up out of the hole in the ground as it slowly begins to close, and looks up at Cuphead in his cage, staring in total awe at the shopkeep.
“Uhh… uh… am I free to go then?”
“No, ownership of your contract has passed to me.”
If cuphead could go pale, he would.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to make you take your friend’s contracts, all of theirs, including your brother’s, contracts are now null and void. They’re off scot free. I just need something from you.”
Cuphead gulps.
“Uh… what do you need?”
“Basically the same thing your previous employer did, I need you to kill people for me. Well, not for me, for someone else, basically, you’ve been drafted.”
“...”
“Hey, your brother gets off scot free at the very least, what did you expect when you went off gambling your soul for a cruddy casino, anyways?”
31/35 for Gettin' Mugged
Credits:
aeisenberg: 4
Algot: 1
GENE: 1 (afk)
Redrover: 1 (afk)
Wooby: .8
Excalium Orbital Cannon 20/20 COMPLETE!
A giant rumble from the ground takes place... the ship flys into the sky, and a cannon orbits the sun. Ladies and gentlemen... the Excalium Orbital Cannon.
Excalium Orbital Cannon 150/150 HP CHARGE GAUGE [||||||||||||||||||||] (Has a charge gauge that increases by 1 every turn, holds 20 charges. The cannon may expend all of it's charges to fire on a position via teleportation magic. The laser does 15*charge number damage. Extra 50 damage if fully charged. You can decide to not take a charge in exchange for a damage increase of +15 this turn. Buffs are shared with owner. Highly resistant to ground attacks)
The Excalium Orbital Cannon begins to charge...
I order my minion to facepalm for me because of my stupidity. Then I let the minion explore the house while I summon my discord avatar again for a more elaborate description of the way to the mentioned red crypt with a lone survivor.
I de-equip the hammer.
Stella Diamant, Human Rogue 17 (Swashbuckler), The Exploits of Misfit Company
Kat, Medtech, Cyberpunk: Red
Shi, Changeling Bard 4 (College of Spirits), Tyrant's Grasp
Dani, Human Artificer 9 (Armorer), Skulls and Starships
DM, Project Point (Teams Scimitar and Longsword)
Everything Else!