From crowded squares to busy streets and dark alleys, the bards of the College of Quips have adapted to an environment where sharp wit and a quick tongue has ensured both their success and survival. These individuals handle the language like few other people, and are able to come up with insults that can crush their opponent in a million ways, both figuratively and literally. Few people make the mistake of getting into an argument with such a bard twice, as these controversial entertainers will always leave with the last word and the appreciation of the crowd carrying them forward.

Experienced Heckler

When you join the College of Quips at 3rd level, your sharp mind has learned to handle the nuances of mockery and insults with ease. You learn the Vicious Mockery cantrip if you don’t already know it. Additionally, you may elect to not give an enemy disadvantage with Vicious Mockery, to instead apply one of the following effects if the target creature fails its save:

Linguistic Killshot	If the target is missing any hit points, the damage die becomes a d8 instead of a d4.
Halting Comment	You reduce the target’s speed by half until the start of your next turn.
Distracting Obscenity	The next attack roll made against the creature before the start of your next turn has advantage.

Grab Attention

Starting at 3rd level, you may use a bonus action to spend one of your Bardic Inspiration dice in an attempt to distract a foe. Roll the die and add your proficiency bonus along with your Charisma modifier. One creature that you can see within 60 feet has to make a concentration check with a DC equal to the result. If it fails, it drops concentration and takes psychic damage equal to the original Bardic Inspiration roll.

Rending Insult

Starting at 6th level, you have learned the value of a proper buildup to make your insults cut even deeper. Every time you spend a Bardic Inspiration die, it is immediately returned as an Anticipation die. Whenever you use your action to cast Vicious Mockery, you may choose to spend all of your current Anticipation dice, adding them as psychic damage to the spell. When you use this feature, you lose access to the Font of Inspiration feature until you finish a long rest.

Your current Anticipation dice are lost whenever you finish a short or long rest.

Acknowledge Failure

At 14th level, when a creature within 60 feet misses an attack, you may use your reaction to cast Vicious Mockery at it by spending one of your Bardic Inspiration dice and adding the result to the damage of the spell. Additionally, whenever you cast Vicious Mockery, you may choose to deal no damage with the spell.

Finally, the following options are added to your Experienced Heckler feature: 

Polysyllabic Pun	The creature immediately uses its reaction to attack a random creature within reach with a melee attack. Should no creature be within reach, nothing happens.
Enraging Truth	The targeted creature receives a -5 penalty to their next attack roll, but an additional damage die if the attack hits. If the attack uses multiple kinds of damage dice, the highest variant is added.
Condescending Remark	The targeted creature receives a +5 bonus to their next attack roll, but loses one of their damage dice when rolling damage for the attack. If the attack uses multiple kinds of damage dice, the highest variant is removed.
Taunting Declaration	The creature immediately uses its reaction to move a distance equal to half of its speed toward you. It will avoid dangerous terrain to the best of its ability, and stop if it encounters obviously fatal obstructions, such as a pool of lava or the edge of a cliff.