Hi there everyone,

This weekend I started playing my very first DnD campaign (Blue Alley), with two other newbies, and a moderately experienced player. Unfortunately, only ~3 hours after starting out, my first character suffered an instant death (at FULL HP) by trap. Naturally this was incredibly upsetting, and in looking up thoughts about character death online, I was even more disheartened to see that apparently instant death is rare - one author has only seen it twice in hundreds of hours. So I guess I was just ridiculously unlucky.

I keep hearing various friends talk about having fun with DnD, but I’m not sure how fun this game can be if I’m just going to die for no reason in every campaign. I plan to ask the DM to retcon the death when we start our next session (we ended after the trap went off) but until then any advice or encouragement for processing all this, and any advice how to do better next time I play?

Thank you in advance.

EDIT: DM happily altered the outcome to my character being unconscious with 0 HP! Full update toward the bottom of this thread's 3rd page

This is the level 1 problem. I think just about everybody who's played D&D has either fallen victim to it or seen somebody at their table fall victim to it. At level 1, the combination of low HP and high damage puts a hell of a lot of power in sheer luck, since a single hit has a good chance of taking someone from full to 0, or even dead. Especially if it's a critical hit. The good news is that the jump from level 1 to level 2 is one of the largest in the game power-wise, mostly because your hit points almost double. By level 2, this problem is significantly less of a worry, and by level 3, it's all but gone.

That is to say: you got unlucky. It sucks. It happens to everybody. But the good news is, you can't expect to get unlucky every single campaign, and the other good news is, it gets significantly harder to get that unlucky after just a few sessions.

Also, a little tip, maybe try to see death less as a state of loss and more as a plot point. In a campaign I'm in, a character died at level 1, and that death has basically been driving the party forward ever since. It sucked, sure, but it also affected the party and the story in a way that's making for an interesting campaign.

^Thank you for replying, I appreciate it. For the record, we were all milestoned to Level 3, so not quite entirely gone. :(

I'm sorry you had that experience. Character death is tough, especially when you're a new player and had different expectations of what the game would be like. 

The thing that is important to know is there are many different styles of D&D. In some, character death might be more rare, or reversible. In others, character death might be more common and considered less of a big deal. The DM sets the tone in how they design encounters. Either by preference or inexperience, your DM created a deadly scenario that bad luck caused you to fall into. At low levels (not just level one), it's easier to kill characters because they have so few hit points and don't have access to resurrection spells. All that to say, what you experienced can happen, but it's not necessarily what D&D is always like. 

Ask your DM about character death and how dangerous traps and encounters are going to be. If they say that death will be a common occurrence because adventuring is dangerous, maybe that's not the right group for you to play with if you want to avoid that. But maybe they'll say that particular trap was deadly and you simply got unlucky, or that they didn't mean to make it that strong (which is definitely something newer DMs can do as they're leaning to run the game).

Talk to them and get a better sense for how they approach character death and what kind of experience you're hoping for. Maybe there's a way for both of you to have fun at the same table. That might mean you adapt to that style of play and become less attached to your characters, or it might mean the party goes on a resurrection quest because permanent character death isn't going to be common. Character death is a part of the game and it's never fun when it happens, but it can also lead to some of the most fun stories - regardless of whether the character gets revived. 

Again, I'm sorry you lost your character. The dice can be brutal sometimes. But the fun doesn't have to stop, and there are lots of ways to play D&D. 

Andy, you have it all wrong; this is cause for celebration, because you are learning what the game of dungeons and dragons is all about.  

Adventurers have a life expectancy measured in torches, and what you experienced is what happens to the vast majority of them.  Most end up falling off a cliff, mauled to a pulp by monsters, or cut to ribbons by a trap.  

Only ones that are exceptionally intelligent, resourceful, and lucky manage to escape with the treasure.  So start by asking yourself: what are some things I could have done to avoid this trap?  By studying the list of “Adventuring gear” in the players handbook can give some insight.  Everything on this list is vital to your survival as an adventurer, and I could go on and on about why that is for everything on that list but for this situation notice the “pole, 10-foot”.  The ten foot pole is critical, because you are prodding the space 10 feet in front of you as you go and any concealed spike pits or tripwires are triggered before you step on them.  

Also, just listen carefully to descriptions that your DM is giving you, and ask for clarifications about things.  If they mention bones or bloodstains, this could be an indication of a trap in the area.  

At any rate, I wanted to give you this kind of feedback Andy rather than an “oh you poor thing” kind of answer because I think it is more helpful to you in the long run.  Remember, celebrate your character’s death, and roll up a new one with the aim to get that treasure this time. 

Sorry to hear about the tough introduction to the game.  I have only played for a little over a year, but nobody in our parties has died or even come close.  Many times someone has been at zero hit points, but there has always been a way to keep them going.  I would be pretty upset losing my character to death.   Maybe the DM has a resurrection planned?  Hard to say what to do better next time as it depends on the group and the way the DM runs the game.  Give it one more session at least.  

I skimmed through the Blue Alley campaign, and don't see where a trap would do 40+ points of damage.  I think I read you started at level 3 - that would give you 20+ hit points, so instant death would be twice that.  The damage from traps I saw in the campaign were all a single die.  Your DM must have upped the stakes considerably.  As mentioned, perhaps this isn't the campaign to play if the DM wants to make death something that happens every session - not much fun in that to me.  I am running a campaign, and while I want the group to be challenged have the possibility of death, I certainly wouldn't make it a one shot instant. 

It also reminds me of a campaign I joined in college 40 years ago.  Couple people I knew, and a DM and another person (thief) I didn't know.  Everything was good for a couple nights, then the other person killed off the rest of the group, took our loot and that was the end of the game.  The thief was evil and the plan was for us to figure it out or die.  We died, and the game ended.  Put a bad taste in my mouth.  I didn't play again for almost 40 years, but am enjoying it very much now.

Quote from AndyH67877 >>

Hi there everyone,

This weekend I started playing my very first DnD campaign (Blue Alley), with two other newbies, and a moderately experienced player. Unfortunately, only ~3 hours after starting out, my first character suffered an instant death (at FULL HP) by trap. Naturally this was incredibly upsetting, and in looking up thoughts about character death online, I was even more disheartened to see that apparently instant death is rare - one author has only seen it twice in hundreds of hours. So I guess I was just ridiculously unlucky.

I keep hearing various friends talk about having fun with DnD, but I’m not sure how fun this game can be if I’m just going to die for no reason in every campaign. I plan to ask the DM to retcon the death when we start our next session (we ended after the trap went off) but until then any advice or encouragement for processing all this, and any advice how to do better next time I play?

Thank you in advance.

 I was counting up the PC deaths I have seen, and experienced personally in 5e games. So let's take stock.In no particular order, each with a separate DM.

#1 One of the campaigns I play am in right now, has run about 40 sessions, over the past 12 months. There have been 7 dead dead PC's, and I have two of them. There was also a TPK when I ran a 2 session one-shot when the DM was away.

#2. In one campaign I DM'ed, I killed 3 of 6 PC's in one encounter when the players decided to not only split up the party, but split it THREE ways.

#3. 3 PC's were killed (one of them mine) over the course of about 30 sessions, 2 of them that were marked for death several sessions before it actually happened, as they fiddled with the wrong cursed item.

#4 Two PC's were killed, and a 3rd severely altered in alignment and class, over about 25-35 sessions.

PC death happens. Accept it, move on, roll a new PC. It is part of the game. It is embedded in the DMG, and umpteen spells in the various source books. Oh, and where I play, there is a wall of death, that the owner has to clear maybe once a year. It is covered with char sheets of dead PC's of games played at the cafe from D&D 5e, AD&D 1e (another game I DM), Warhammer, Pathfinder. At any given time there are 40-50 sheets up there, so clearly other PC's are dying in campaigns I know nothing about.

Quote from VentureRoyalStar >>

I skimmed through the Blue Alley campaign, and don't see where a trap would do 40+ points of damage.  I think I read you started at level 3 - that would give you 20+ hit points, so instant death would be twice that.  The damage from traps I saw in the campaign were all a single die.  Your DM must have upped the stakes considerably. 

There was...

In late 1979, I sat down at a table with a friend and rolled up a half elf Ranger that I was absolutely certain was the cool cat.

I died horribly. It took longer to roll up the character than it did to kill him off.

It was just the two of us, and that was the first three hours, and that was my first time playing AD&D.

I haven't stopped playing D&D since. But I did learn that I don't like being a player, myself, I prefer to be a DM.

All of hich to tell you that I understand the sense of grief and loss, get the whole "damn, this sucks", but also...

Ever lost at Poker? Or Monopoly? Or Risk? Or Battleship? Or Chess?

No, those games don't have you invest your emotions into a character. But they are all game, and the big difference between D&D and those games is that in those games there are Winners and Losers.

In D&D, there are no winners or losers. there are just people who play. 

It is excessive. Did your DM give you guys a session 0 - a rundown of how they intended to run the campaign and the stakes? Did they prime you for the possibility that you were potentially going to be vaporized just for opening a door? If not, they probably should. It sounds like they took the campaign and turned it into a meat-grinder. Some like those games. I certainly do if I go into the campaign knowing that is the kind of game being run.

I have had only two PC deaths at my table in the 5+ years I have DMd. The first was because a player asked us to see what the dice decided during the death saving throws and the second was because a warlock intentionally pulled the attention of multiple enemies off of allies and onto himself in a miscalculation of the damage they could do. Note that both times, the players made a decision to make the gamble. I would never have something instantly kill a PC at levels that low because the players will feel cheated and there are no options available to prevent or reverse. 

It does sound like a conversation needs to be had between you and the DM. At the very least, getting you both on the same page is ideal. You can have fun in meat-grinders, but in my experience, players only have fun in those games when they agree to it. D&D is meant to be fun and fun is defined differently by each individual. That is why session 0s are so important; they help align definitions of fun, establish boundaries, and help people decide whether they are compatible. 

Quote from Erik_Soong >>

It is excessive. Did your DM give you guys a session 0 - a rundown of how they intended to run the campaign and the stakes? Did they prime you for the possibility that you were potentially going to be vaporized just for opening a door? If not, they probably should. It sounds like they took the campaign and turned it into a meat-grinder.  

 We did not have a session 0 beyond just creating characters. The DM was my sister-in-law, and the players were my brothers, my partner and myself, so I'm going to assume that nothing was intentionally done to make the campaign more brutal than was written.

Would someone with access to the Blue Alley module be able to confirm whether the damage roll was correct?

Quote from AndyH67877 >>

Quote from VentureRoyalStar >>

I skimmed through the Blue Alley campaign, and don't see where a trap would do 40+ points of damage.  I think I read you started at level 3 - that would give you 20+ hit points, so instant death would be twice that.  The damage from traps I saw in the campaign were all a single die.  Your DM must have upped the stakes considerably. 

 

There was...

...a door that held back tons of steel balls, ranging from 6 inches to 2 feet in size. I believe it was just beyond the dual trap corridors that had either the spike pit or lightning on the ceiling. My character is a Level 3 Elven Sorcerer with only 17 HP, and took 35 points of damage after failing a save throw. I later asked DM what dice were used to determine damage, and she couldn't remember precisely but said it was either 10 d12's or 12 d10's. Which seems grossly excessive for a campaign that I assumed was beginner-friendly.

 

 
Andy you made a classic mistake here, but it is a good thing because you are learning and becoming a better Dungeons and Dragons player in real time, and I’m happy for you.  That is why we are celebrating what happened to that character. 

You see, after prodding and tapping the door a few times with your 10 foot pole, you want to prompt your dungeon master to tell you if there is anything unusual about the door.  In this case they would have told you that the tapping/knocking is oddly stifled.  That’s your tip off that there is some great pressure on the other side of the door.  Now, you pull out your 50 feet worth of rope (you should have this as well) tie it to the door handle and open the door from 50 feet away.  

That’s D&D at its core right there, and what I want you to do next time bud. 

Hmmm. Description and reviews of Blue Alley indicate it isn't a "serious" adventure, and is intended to be more for fun than straight hack-n-slash. It is supposed to be difficult for level 2, medium for 3, somewhat easy for level 4.

It is considered a "funhouse" dungeon, so I have to say that it seems a little like an inexperienced DM.

First, as someone above stated, ignore the comments regarding "PC Deaths ALWAYS happen and are an integral part of the game"  That is true in a select group of people and certain tables only.  In general, D&D is about a collaborative story and PC death is NOT an integral part, nor is ongoing hack and slash at every turn.  Meat Grinder style IS certainly a valid playstyle, but it is far from the "norm"  If you're only one session in, a solid session 0 is in order, IMO, since there appears to be a little bit of a discrepancy in what the players expected and how the DM is running.

This kind of mismatch is one of the main reasons so many of us will say a session 0 is required.  It's a way to make sure the DM and players are all on the same page.  If the DM wants to run a hack'n'slash and lets the players know that, there is much less chance of players becoming too attached to their character, which makes these sudden deaths a LOT easier to take.  A good DM will talk through a situation like this and find some form of resolution that won't leave a bad taste in your mouth for D&D, which, by your post, this situation has done.  It's great that you recognize there likely is NOT some malicious intent and that the abrupt death was more of an "oh crap!" moment, likely for the DM as well as you.  A bit of a talk should suffice to smooth things over and set a better stage for future sessions.

Quote from AndyH67877 >>

Would someone with access to the Blue Alley module be able to confirm whether the damage roll was correct?

 I would encourage that you never do this. DMs change modules all the time for a variety of reasons, and there is no "correct" way to run a published adventure. Double-checking what was "supposed" to happen, especially when you don't like the outcome, doesn't lead to anything productive. It pits the DM against a book which is only supposed to be a guide for running a campaign, not a bible. The DM has ultimate authority over the game world, and sometimes DMs make poor or inexperienced choices. But it's not because they are necessarily bad DMs - it's often because they're human.

Quote from Falwith >>

First, as someone above stated, ignore the comments regarding "PC Deaths ALWAYS happen and are an integral part of the game"  That is true in a select group of people and certain tables only.  In general, D&D is about a collaborative story and PC death is NOT an integral part, nor is ongoing hack and slash at every turn.  Meat Grinder style IS certainly a valid playstyle, but it is far from the "norm"  If you're only one session in, a solid session 0 is in order, IMO, since there appears to be a little bit of a discrepancy in what the players expected and how the DM is running.

This kind of mismatch is one of the main reasons so many of us will say a session 0 is required.  It's a way to make sure the DM and players are all on the same page.  If the DM wants to run a hack'n'slash and lets the players know that, there is much less chance of players becoming too attached to their character, which makes these sudden deaths a LOT easier to take.  A good DM will talk through a situation like this and find some form of resolution that won't leave a bad taste in your mouth for D&D, which, by your post, this situation has done.  It's great that you recognize there likely is NOT some malicious intent and that the abrupt death was more of an "oh crap!" moment, likely for the DM as well as you.  A bit of a talk should suffice to smooth things over and set a better stage for future sessions.

Andy, ignore the comments that are essentially blaming your DM for your character dying, because they didn't warn you beforehand that this is a "meat grinder campaign".  I want you to get into the mindset of assuming that every campaign is a "meat grinder campaign".  It is sort of like hoping for the best, yet always being prepared for the worst- because if the campaign turns out to not be a meat grinder, then no harm no foul in being ready as if it were.

That said, now that you are operating under the assumption that your character could die at any moment if you make one false move, you are rapidly becoming a better D&D player.  Study the list of equipment that I mentioned, and how each thing on there is essential to your survival in the wilderness or a dungeon, then load up on what you need.  Examine each attribute, skill, and class in this game to see what spells, abilities and other options they bring to help you survive a dungeon.  Think outside of the box, that is critical.  Heck, study dungeon design in general- I recommend getting Dungeon of the Mad Mage during the big sale going on.  Reading through that will teach you all about dungeons, what to expect, and you can think about how to dodge the traps, slay the monsters, find the secret doors, solve the puzzles, and most importantly, make off with the treasure.  

Quote from theologyofbagels >>

Quote from AndyH67877 >>

Would someone with access to the Blue Alley module be able to confirm whether the damage roll was correct?

 I would encourage that you never do this. DMs change modules all the time for a variety of reasons, and there is no "correct" way to run a published adventure. Double-checking what was "supposed" to happen, especially when you don't like the outcome, doesn't lead to anything productive. It pits the DM against a book which is only supposed to be a guide for running a campaign, not a bible. The DM has ultimate authority over the game world, and sometimes DMs make poor or inexperienced choices. But it's not because they are necessarily bad DMs - it's often because they're human.

Definitely agree on this. What needs to happen is a conversation about the kind of game they are running and future expectations. Trust between the players and the DM is critical to a positive experience and if the conversation assumes that trust, I am sure this is a salvageable situation. 

I have died more times than I have retired a character.

It just happens and if you do not face that possibility then a LOT of the excitement in the game is lost. No death no risk no fun.

I tend to not write anything more than a few (three) lines about my back ground just because of this reason. Also a 1st level character is generally young and just does not have a lot of background education and experience.
I do write a one line character life goal. Own land, lead armies, found a castle, start a city, gain knowledge simple and general. Rarely do I make the life goal the death of an arch foe.

I tend to write about a paragraph for my character after each session or major milestone. This tends to make the characters continuing background much better. I find that arch foe during play.

This gives the DM all the room they need to add in some sort of hook and plot line for the character.

Let background. less investment in the starting character.

I have 478 Adventure League session under my belt. And since I roll out in the open, I can't  lie. So far I have five instant deaths I can remember. So  It is rare but it happens. But I also started playing in 1E and had pcs die before the eraseable ink dried.  I have lost count of the number of times people rolled a nat 20 on their death saves. But the most current one was my last session. 

Remember this is a game with random numbers. AKA the dice may hate you this week. 

Quote from SireSamuel >>

Quote from Falwith >>

First, as someone above stated, ignore the comments regarding "PC Deaths ALWAYS happen and are an integral part of the game"  That is true in a select group of people and certain tables only.  In general, D&D is about a collaborative story and PC death is NOT an integral part, nor is ongoing hack and slash at every turn.  Meat Grinder style IS certainly a valid playstyle, but it is far from the "norm"  If you're only one session in, a solid session 0 is in order, IMO, since there appears to be a little bit of a discrepancy in what the players expected and how the DM is running.

This kind of mismatch is one of the main reasons so many of us will say a session 0 is required.  It's a way to make sure the DM and players are all on the same page.  If the DM wants to run a hack'n'slash and lets the players know that, there is much less chance of players becoming too attached to their character, which makes these sudden deaths a LOT easier to take.  A good DM will talk through a situation like this and find some form of resolution that won't leave a bad taste in your mouth for D&D, which, by your post, this situation has done.  It's great that you recognize there likely is NOT some malicious intent and that the abrupt death was more of an "oh crap!" moment, likely for the DM as well as you.  A bit of a talk should suffice to smooth things over and set a better stage for future sessions.

  

Andy, ignore the comments that are essentially blaming your DM for your character dying, because they didn't warn you beforehand that this is a "meat grinder campaign".  I want you to get into the mindset of assuming that every campaign is a "meat grinder campaign".  It is sort of like hoping for the best, yet always being prepared for the worst- because if the campaign turns out to not be a meat grinder, then no harm no foul in being ready as if it were.

That said, now that you are operating under the assumption that your character could die at any moment if you make one false move, you are rapidly becoming a better D&D player.  Study the list of equipment that I mentioned, and how each thing on there is essential to your survival in the wilderness or a dungeon, then load up on what you need.  Examine each attribute, skill, and class in this game to see what spells, abilities and other options they bring to help you survive a dungeon.  Think outside of the box, that is critical.  Heck, study dungeon design in general- I recommend getting Dungeon of the Mad Mage during the big sale going on.  Reading through that will teach you all about dungeons, what to expect, and you can think about how to dodge the traps, slay the monsters, find the secret doors, solve the puzzles, and most importantly, make off with the treasure.  

 I think you said it earlier, a PC's best friend is a 10 foot pole.