Anyone think that the bathroom should be part of dungeons and dragons? I mean, since the game adds conservation of energy and your characters have to eat, why not make them have to go to the bathroom, imposing disadvantage on dexterity checks and saving throws because you have to stop yourself from going in your pants?

Most games ignore food.

Very few campaigns even try to simulate realism with boring, day-to-day tasks.

The question isn't "Should we add this?" it's "Who the heck would want to use this?"

And no, bathroom would just be really weird and unnecessary 👍

so, should i like, get rid of dis pole???

probably :)

 Actually axe, I   kind of want so see what other people think.

They shouldn't add this. It's really not needed.

However, it could be introduced if you wanted to put the work in to make it relevant. If you need the toilet, it can cause issues - especially if you are then subjected to the "frightened" condition. First add a "bursting" condition, meaning you need the loo, now. You would then have to add in "soiled" as a condition, which would impose disadvantages on charisma checks. You would have to track exactly how much they eat - someone eating and drinking sparsely will "produce" less than someone who's always eating and drinking. Then you would need to add some spells to clear up or afflict these conditions, and then that opens the way for some really gross and unnecessary combinations which nobody wants to be having to describe.

And after all that - it wouldn't add much, except some low-brow humour, the novelty of which will wear off by the third time someone makes an enemy "soiled".

I can't imagine it would be a lot of fun to RP about things like full bladders and such. I mean, in extreme circumstances for comedic purposes (your character has been in an all-night drinking contest like the one Marion gets into in the Raiders of the Lost Ark movie), and you want to RP needing a bathroom really badly, that might be one thing. But in the middle of combat having to make bladder checks or something like that -- no, that is not something most of us would want to include. Certainly not me.

As a wacky fun house one shot yes. Imposes disadvantage on various things. 

I've only ever had using the bathroom come up in a game if A: A player chose to go out of their way to use the bathroom, usually as a gag, or B: If the players fail a CON save on some kind of food they probably shouldn't have been eating and the DM tells them they're about to ruin their pants, again, usually as a gag.

I think most adventurers would take care of calls to nature during short or long rests.  You know, like actual people do during the course of their day to day lives.

If you want to flavor fear responses with PCs or NPCs soiling or wetting themselves, I guess you could do that.  However, I'd say you're pushing past a usually respected boundary in some games if your table acknowledges boundaries.  It's one thing for a character to be sickened, there's mechanics for that RAW.  Having a PC soil or wet themselves as DM's "fun flavor" could be considered abuse by some players, especially if only select players are, say, stricken with incontinence in moments of cowardice.  So if playing for laughs, as a DM you need to be keen to just how transgressive your table, and that means your entire table, will let you push.

If you wanted to make bio waste an integral part of your gritty game, where it would really hit players in the guts, so to speak, isn't so much the occasional need for #1 or #2 breaks or "nervous accident" but the evacuations that accompany violent D&D style deaths and traumas.  The musical Hamilton actually makes pretty evocative poetry out of it in one line in "Right Hand Man," IRL combat medics are sometimes trained these days at facilities that make hard efforts to get that smell and texture in simulations so medics are accustomed to it when the "**** gets real."  If you're Cleric or Paladin is "laying hands" on a slashing or piercing abdominal wound, yeah, it's not a pretty scene. 

So yeah if #1 or #2 are fun for you, or you're curious about playing with them, just like IRL, make sure the folks you're playing with are cool with it too.

That’s a big nope from me dawg. I’ve dealt with enough table-farts in my time I don’t want my players having an excuse or ready made pun to go on top of it.

Nah.  I like the idea.  Makes for lots of comedy. 

example: character has a habit of eating a lot of salty, fatty, sugary foods the day or morning before- as a result the character has difficulty using the toilet (n#2) 

you could then throw in sales people advertising “this potion will help alleviate your morning constitutionals”

Bathroom falls in the same category as many other biological needs, unless it serves the story, i prefer to leave this in the background, including when designing dungeons. 

PS It reminds me of a WoTC adventure at PAX that had a outhouse before a dungeon entrance by which a purple worm would come out to eat the low level character entering it. :)

Okay, can we actually take this seriously? We're all DMs here, and we know our players whip out potty humor at the most inopportune times. I think it's high time we show them how the turn tables. I'd love to expand this to include some other fun conditions:

Constipated/Full Bladder: Disadvantage on all STR, CON, and DEX checks and saving throws. Critical failure causes releasing the affected region involuntarily and ends the condition.

Nausea: Disadvantage on Str, Dex, Int, Wis, and Cha ability checks and saving throws. Critical failure causes vomiting and halves remaining duration.

Soiled: All creatures within 15 feet have advantage on Perception checks based on scent made to notice you, and you suffer disadvantage on all Dexterity ability checks and saving throws until you clean off.

Just saying... Even if this isn't added canonically, imposing these issues, along with exhaustion penalties from needing to use the bathroom for protracted periods, can be a little bit of potty-humor revenge on that player. We all have that player, we all know who they are. Have fun!

Now this is a thread that really didn’t need to be necroed. But hey, since it’s too late now, might as well say:

No. Absolutely not. Goofy homebrew is all well and good, but bathrooms have no place in the official D&D rules. If WotC ever added this (and they obviously never will), it’s be funny on the Internet for about two minutes before everyone got sick of it and started to think that, hey, maybe Pathfinder isn’t all that bad after all.

Truthfully, I agree with you, but this thread was too funny to pass up. Bathroom mechanics would make things a problem if applied in any serious context. Hell, they even cause problems in games that legitimately use them as a core part of their mechanics more often than not.

agreed lol