Hey y'all. I'm a new DM, and so far things are going great! We have a actual play podcast in the works, and though it is made up of mostly new players, we all seem to be pretty happy with the progress we're making. There is one problem though... one of my players is terrified of their character dying.
This seems reasonable, right? I mean, I don't think many player actively try to off their characters. But when I casually mentioned the possibility of player character death, they basically threatened to leave the game, saying they would get too upset.
I'm not trying to run a super challenging, possibility of death every second, grim-dark campaign here. I truly want the player characters to be alive at the end of the campaign, as I value the work the players have put into developing their characters, and the work I have done in trying to tell a story. But the possibility of death, however slight, makes the game all the more high-stakes, and more fun in my opinion. The game could get boring without serious consequences for the character's actions.
I think that being able to read what is fun for you and for players is an important aspect to D&D. And if the players dying is a deal breaker for them, then you really have no choice but to cater to that limitation in order for everyone to have a good time. I think it's good to talk to your players and establish some ground rules concerning changes you would like to make and what this means for the game. No risk of death does remove a lot of the tension of combat, but that doesn't mean there's no point in playing. This presents you with some opportunities to keep gameplay fun, but just play down the permanence of death. A few ideas off the top of my head:
Increase death saves to five instead of three
Lighten the rules for resurrection so that a killed player has an opportunity to come back more easily. Players could be favored by the gods and brought back video game style at the entrance to the dungeon with some of the monsters reset or swapped for different ones.
If a monster knocks a player unconscious, just have it turn its attention to another player. If there's a TPK, stop combat with everyone being unconscious and capture them instead. They can be ransomed back to the nearby city where the players find themselves in debt to someone who paid to have them freed.
Also, keep in mind that as players level up, their risk of death goes down as well. And once you have a several sessions under your belt with these guys, you'll get a much better read on how far you can push things before the players start getting uncomfortable. And who knows? Maybe in time, they will lighten up about character death and the anxiety may blow over.
I respectfully disagree; heroism is, in my opinion, the acceptance of grave risk for the mere chance of success in a noble pursuit.
I recommend you do not compromise, nor do you seek the players death. They choose to put their chips on the table, let those chips fall where they may. That is the game, that is the risk and that is the thrill of the game.
Pandering to a scaredy cat doesn't pay off in the end.
If it’s only that one player afraid of death, there’s a few things to try:
- as suggested above, if a tpk occurs, have them captured instead of dead
- have an npc die
- if an opportunity occurs, allow (or “assist”) another character’s entry into valhalla.
- create a dungeon obstacle which involves the pc’s having to face their fear to pass
Generally speaking, the technique of gently familiarising someone with something they are afraid of is known to work, which is essentially what I’m advocating here.
IMO death shouldn’t be taken off the table. I feel like getting to the end of an adventure alive is a reward, but if there isn’t the threat of death then that reward is soured. Give the PC the opportunity to become a revenant once, this ensures there’s repercussions for dying while appearing to compromise with that player. I don’t see it as catering, your just doing your job as a DM.
Call me old fashioned but if I had a player threaten to leave my game if as a GM I allow his character to die should such a situation arise, I would ask them to leave the game immediately and I wouldn't be polite about it. Simply put, a DM that compromises the spirit and integrity of the game game in such a blaten fashion has no business running a game and a player who demands a GM to do so has no business playing in one. Every GM has to do what he thinks is right for his game, so take that as one opinion in a sea of opinions but a player with that attitude basically says "hey, we are going to do this my way or I'm leaving".... my answer is .. there is the door MF!!!
Y'all need to remember that the game is just that. A game. Everyone is out for a good time. Some people don't want to play the same way you do.
OP, the best way to handle it is the best way to handle anything in life. Talk it out. Explain the likelihood of death (5e makes it much harder to die for real, imo), the mechanics of player resurrection. Unless no one likes that friend, the party's likely to try and save them.
If they're just too stressed by the idea of their OC dying, then maybe the game's not for them. But unless they're actively being belligerent (you WILL change this for me or i walk) there's no reason to jump straight to "go die in a fire" responses suggested above.
If it’s only that one player afraid of death, there’s a few things to try:
- as suggested above, if a tpk occurs, have them captured instead of dead
- have an npc die
- if an opportunity occurs, allow (or “assist”) another character’s entry into valhalla.
- create a dungeon obstacle which involves the pc’s having to face their fear to pass
Generally speaking, the technique of gently familiarising someone with something they are afraid of is known to work, which is essentially what I’m advocating here.
Thank you so much! I especially like the dungeon obstacle, I'll probably use it!
Thanks for the reply! This person is my very close friend however, and I do want her to be a part of the game, and I think she'll bring some interesting ideas to the table. I think she's just anxious about getting attached to a character only to have it die off. I think you are right in the respect that if she becomes aggressive or rude about it, I'll have her talk about it.
Thank you so much! I actually think that if her character becomes a reveant she'll be fine with the character death (she loves that kind of thing in fiction)
I agree! I think I will talk to them if things get to the point of her actually trying to leave. And if she wants to, she can. Like you said, it is a game :)
I'm just wondering if anyone in the group has access to the Revivify spell? Clerics can keep this spell prepared starting at 5th level (Lore Bards at 6th level) and it costs much less than Raise Dead or Resurrection, so it's easier than ever to prevent character death via spells.
I have a player in my group that is almost a mirror of the person you have described. What I did to help resolve the fear was have him roll up a totally different kind and type of character, took a break from our main campaign, and played a one-night "We all know we are gonna die" campaign (it took two sessions, but hey that's the game).
It gave him the opportunity to play a character he did not exactly want to play, so didn't feel connected to... which surprised him with the fun he had pushing them to limits he would not otherwise push his preferred character. I explained that even if their original character died in our main campaign, it doesn't mean that we cannot be flexible with how we re-create or resurrect the "Perfect" character they love to play.... Maybe a lost brother comes to resurrect their fallen family, or fight in their name... or just all out re-building the same type of character with only one letter in their name difference.
Once my player saw that this one character was not the end-all, be-all of D&D, he actually started to enjoy it more, and it totally hooked him in the game.
I'm not saying it would totally resolve their fears, but maybe showing how versatile the game can be could help your guy out as well. Hope this idea helps!
have you pointed out to them that the only death in a game that is final is the one from old age? all the rest are fixable, even disintegration is fixable with a dustpan and brush and a wish spell, death should be a learning experience, though the main thing you learn is it's boring being slumped over the back of a horse while your party companions have fun fighting. even that's solvable with a sarcastic necromancer in the party who can make zombies.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All plans turn into, run into the room waving a sword and see what happens from there, once the first die gets rolled
I would talk to the player and explain death in D&D is going to be possible but a death is not the end. Even if they die you could present a quest to the party - the player controls their character as a spirit or revenant or perhaps they were raised as undead by a necromancer but something went wrong and they were able to break free of their control. Now the player and group can still go on a quest to resurrect them properly. If the group has a cleric of suitable level and some funds: they can just bring the PC back to life.
Or do I what I would probably do: the spirit of the PC comes back to advise something wrong is happening n the realms beyond death and they need saving. Their presence as a spirit is part of the problem - and other spirits are turning up all over the place! Now there is a quest that wll cooperation from the main group in the living and material realms and help from the dead PC in the spiritual realms and Ethereal plane (part of a puzzle or challenge is on both requiring both the living and the dead to work together to solve it!). When they save the day the opportunity for the dead PC to return to life will be presented and voila: death ultimately avoided, the group may be higher level to more easily get defenses to prevent death or services for resurrection and more experience and you got a nice quest out of it.
Or maybe on their way to their normal afterlife somethiing interfered and they ended up in the Hells encountering a fiend. This fiend is trapped in Hell but does have the power to take advantage of the situation and temporarily resurrect the player: it provides a mission to serve its struggle for power in the Hells that must be achieved in the living worlds and must be done soon. If the player accepts the deal they are temporarily resurrected and if they complete the mission: they get to stay alive! but if they fail then they die and the fiend is then able to claim their soul forever (or at least until the party take a trip to the Hells and find a way to break the contract or convince the fiend to release the PC's soul).
Death in D&D means only one thing: an opportunity for a quest, of course!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Click ✨ HERE ✨ For My Youtube Videos featuring Guides, Tips & Tricks for using D&D Beyond. Need help with Homebrew? Check out ✨ thisFAQ/Guide thread ✨ by IamSposta.
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Hey y'all. I'm a new DM, and so far things are going great! We have a actual play podcast in the works, and though it is made up of mostly new players, we all seem to be pretty happy with the progress we're making. There is one problem though... one of my players is terrified of their character dying.
This seems reasonable, right? I mean, I don't think many player actively try to off their characters. But when I casually mentioned the possibility of player character death, they basically threatened to leave the game, saying they would get too upset.
I'm not trying to run a super challenging, possibility of death every second, grim-dark campaign here. I truly want the player characters to be alive at the end of the campaign, as I value the work the players have put into developing their characters, and the work I have done in trying to tell a story. But the possibility of death, however slight, makes the game all the more high-stakes, and more fun in my opinion. The game could get boring without serious consequences for the character's actions.
What should I do? Thanks in advance :)
I think that being able to read what is fun for you and for players is an important aspect to D&D. And if the players dying is a deal breaker for them, then you really have no choice but to cater to that limitation in order for everyone to have a good time. I think it's good to talk to your players and establish some ground rules concerning changes you would like to make and what this means for the game. No risk of death does remove a lot of the tension of combat, but that doesn't mean there's no point in playing. This presents you with some opportunities to keep gameplay fun, but just play down the permanence of death. A few ideas off the top of my head:
Also, keep in mind that as players level up, their risk of death goes down as well. And once you have a several sessions under your belt with these guys, you'll get a much better read on how far you can push things before the players start getting uncomfortable. And who knows? Maybe in time, they will lighten up about character death and the anxiety may blow over.
"Not all those who wander are lost"
I respectfully disagree; heroism is, in my opinion, the acceptance of grave risk for the mere chance of success in a noble pursuit.
I recommend you do not compromise, nor do you seek the players death. They choose to put their chips on the table, let those chips fall where they may. That is the game, that is the risk and that is the thrill of the game.
Pandering to a scaredy cat doesn't pay off in the end.
Jesus Saves!... Everyone else takes damage.
If it’s only that one player afraid of death, there’s a few things to try:
- as suggested above, if a tpk occurs, have them captured instead of dead
- have an npc die
- if an opportunity occurs, allow (or “assist”) another character’s entry into valhalla.
- create a dungeon obstacle which involves the pc’s having to face their fear to pass
Generally speaking, the technique of gently familiarising someone with something they are afraid of is known to work, which is essentially what I’m advocating here.
You could have your PC take the “Reveant” subrace should they die. It’s in UA: Gothic Hero’s. https://dnd.wizards.com/sites/default/files/media/upload/articles/UA Gothic Characters.pdf
IMO death shouldn’t be taken off the table. I feel like getting to the end of an adventure alive is a reward, but if there isn’t the threat of death then that reward is soured. Give the PC the opportunity to become a revenant once, this ensures there’s repercussions for dying while appearing to compromise with that player. I don’t see it as catering, your just doing your job as a DM.
Y'all need to remember that the game is just that. A game. Everyone is out for a good time. Some people don't want to play the same way you do.
OP, the best way to handle it is the best way to handle anything in life. Talk it out. Explain the likelihood of death (5e makes it much harder to die for real, imo), the mechanics of player resurrection. Unless no one likes that friend, the party's likely to try and save them.
If they're just too stressed by the idea of their OC dying, then maybe the game's not for them. But unless they're actively being belligerent (you WILL change this for me or i walk) there's no reason to jump straight to "go die in a fire" responses suggested above.
Just everybody relax, neh?
Thank you so much! I'll for sure pull from this :)
Thank you for replying!
Thank you so much! I especially like the dungeon obstacle, I'll probably use it!
Thanks for the reply! This person is my very close friend however, and I do want her to be a part of the game, and I think she'll bring some interesting ideas to the table. I think she's just anxious about getting attached to a character only to have it die off. I think you are right in the respect that if she becomes aggressive or rude about it, I'll have her talk about it.
Thank you so much! I actually think that if her character becomes a reveant she'll be fine with the character death (she loves that kind of thing in fiction)
I agree! I think I will talk to them if things get to the point of her actually trying to leave. And if she wants to, she can. Like you said, it is a game :)
I'm just wondering if anyone in the group has access to the Revivify spell? Clerics can keep this spell prepared starting at 5th level (Lore Bards at 6th level) and it costs much less than Raise Dead or Resurrection, so it's easier than ever to prevent character death via spells.
DICE FALL, EVERYONE ROCKS!
I have a player in my group that is almost a mirror of the person you have described. What I did to help resolve the fear was have him roll up a totally different kind and type of character, took a break from our main campaign, and played a one-night "We all know we are gonna die" campaign (it took two sessions, but hey that's the game).
It gave him the opportunity to play a character he did not exactly want to play, so didn't feel connected to... which surprised him with the fun he had pushing them to limits he would not otherwise push his preferred character. I explained that even if their original character died in our main campaign, it doesn't mean that we cannot be flexible with how we re-create or resurrect the "Perfect" character they love to play.... Maybe a lost brother comes to resurrect their fallen family, or fight in their name... or just all out re-building the same type of character with only one letter in their name difference.
Once my player saw that this one character was not the end-all, be-all of D&D, he actually started to enjoy it more, and it totally hooked him in the game.
I'm not saying it would totally resolve their fears, but maybe showing how versatile the game can be could help your guy out as well. Hope this idea helps!
Glad to be of assistance :) good luck!
This could work! We have a cleric in our party. Thank you for the reply!
This is an amazing idea! Maybe I'll try it out :)
have you pointed out to them that the only death in a game that is final is the one from old age?
all the rest are fixable, even disintegration is fixable with a dustpan and brush and a wish spell, death should be a learning experience, though the main thing you learn is it's boring being slumped over the back of a horse while your party companions have fun fighting. even that's solvable with a sarcastic necromancer in the party who can make zombies.
All plans turn into, run into the room waving a sword and see what happens from there, once the first die gets rolled
I would talk to the player and explain death in D&D is going to be possible but a death is not the end. Even if they die you could present a quest to the party - the player controls their character as a spirit or revenant or perhaps they were raised as undead by a necromancer but something went wrong and they were able to break free of their control. Now the player and group can still go on a quest to resurrect them properly. If the group has a cleric of suitable level and some funds: they can just bring the PC back to life.
Or do I what I would probably do: the spirit of the PC comes back to advise something wrong is happening n the realms beyond death and they need saving. Their presence as a spirit is part of the problem - and other spirits are turning up all over the place! Now there is a quest that wll cooperation from the main group in the living and material realms and help from the dead PC in the spiritual realms and Ethereal plane (part of a puzzle or challenge is on both requiring both the living and the dead to work together to solve it!). When they save the day the opportunity for the dead PC to return to life will be presented and voila: death ultimately avoided, the group may be higher level to more easily get defenses to prevent death or services for resurrection and more experience and you got a nice quest out of it.
Or maybe on their way to their normal afterlife somethiing interfered and they ended up in the Hells encountering a fiend. This fiend is trapped in Hell but does have the power to take advantage of the situation and temporarily resurrect the player: it provides a mission to serve its struggle for power in the Hells that must be achieved in the living worlds and must be done soon. If the player accepts the deal they are temporarily resurrected and if they complete the mission: they get to stay alive! but if they fail then they die and the fiend is then able to claim their soul forever (or at least until the party take a trip to the Hells and find a way to break the contract or convince the fiend to release the PC's soul).
Death in D&D means only one thing: an opportunity for a quest, of course!
Click ✨ HERE ✨ For My Youtube Videos featuring Guides, Tips & Tricks for using D&D Beyond.
Need help with Homebrew? Check out ✨ this FAQ/Guide thread ✨ by IamSposta.