We just had our third session of a new campaign with all new players yesterday. We got off to a rocky start, but session 2 was pretty good and I had high hopes for #3.
One of my players wasn't able to make it, but his character is pretty straightforward and the player in question didn't mind if we RPed him in his absence. Not wanting him to miss the session entirely, I recorded audio so he could listen to what happened if he wanted to. Overall, the session went pretty well--or so I thought.
I wanted to listen to the recording so I could cut out the fluff since the total time on it was over 6 hours (we took a few small breaks and I left it rolling). As I said, I thought it had all gone pretty well. However, when I started listening, I noticed a lot of things that I didn't like about my DMing style that I had never noticed before. Some of it was small stuff, like how much I say "uhhh..." or talking a little too fast from time to time. But some of it was pretty big, like my descriptions being lackluster or misleading, making dumb calls during the game, or being confrontational at times that don't call for it at all. Turns out I'm not as good a DM as I thought!
Overall, this is shaping up to be an immensely helpful chapter in the the book of my DM career. There's so much that I say and do while DMing that can clearly be improved, and I don't think I ever would have noticed some of these deficiencies if I hadn't gone back and listened to myself. It's also kind of a bummer, but knowing some of the problem areas will make improving at them possible.
So here are my questions for you all, since I'm sure many of you have had similar experiences (especially if you're as green as me).
Have you done this or something like this in the past? What did you learn?
What are other good methods for getting good critical feedback?
What are your favorite ways to improve as a DM? What was the biggest challenge you dealt with in mastering the trade?
Excited for the input! I'm just as interested in stories as I am in getting advice, so please share whatever comes to mind.
The second rule of DMing is probably that everyone does it differently and has their own style.
(The first rule being players rarely do what you expect them to).
My advice is:
don't beat yourself up over this or become self conscious
the point of the game is to have fun, make sure both you and the players are having fun
we learn by doing, your repertoire of tricks/tactics/etc will improve over time
To answer your questions though:
Yes. I wouldn't do it too often, but hearing or seeing yourself can be important. Body language, clues, mannerisms etc. While you as a DM know the scene your players only know it through your description so they can often be watching intently as you give non-verbal or verbal clues.
I wouldn't tape/record myself regularly at all, as that blocks MY immersion as a DM. I do solicit feedback from players between sessions, but keep it simple. I like to ask:
did you have fun?
what "quests" do you think you have open?
For me it was repetition. I started a long time ago, and we were very story based, then switched to dice, then went back to story, through multiple game systems. As a GM (game master) just relax, have the broad outlines of a story in mind, and let your player fill it in in interesting ways. It's not adversarial, it's a shared narrative. As long as everyone is having fun (including you) then you're doing great!
As an addendum, I have a dog (or vice versa), so I read books about dogs. Dogs are incredibly aware of what their people are doing. Subtle shifts in body language give telltale signs to all manner of things. Most folks only understand these things subconsciously, but they are useful to practice (ie. stand up straight, be consistent in action, etc). As a GM your players react to your words intellectually, but may get other clues on a more basic level. IE you lean forward while talking to them will predispose them to attacking whatever, whereas you were just stretching your hamstrings :) Don't try to keep all of that in your head at once, but just be aware, and give yourself room to go. None of us are perfect, we just have to be good enough for our groups :)
TLDR: Just make sure everyone is having fun.
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"An' things ha' come to a pretty pass, ye ken, if people are going to leave stuff like that aroound where innocent people could accidentally smash the door doon and lever the bars aside and take the big chain off'f the cupboard and pick the lock and drink it!"
Wow - I don't know if I'd have the courage to record and then listen critically to one of my sessions! It is, however, an excellent idea.
Some thoughts about your self-identified issues.
Ums, errs, pauses, and speaking too fast
That not a DM'ing thing, that's a public speaking thing. You mention it's a newer group, so you haven't gotten to the "we're just a bunch of friends sitting around the table having a conversation" stage, yet. That will come with time and experience with this group.
Also - I'm assuming that you're not a professional actor, so don't expect yourself to sound like one. No one else is recording - no one else will remember the presentation. They'll just remember their own imagination, and the events.
Lackluster descriptions
Are you sure?
The goal of a DM setting the scene is not to read a page of descriptive text, where you detail out all the sensory impressions of that scene. What you're trying to is enable the Player to paint their own mental picture of the scene. You can totally cheat by using the Players' imaginations, and expectations. "A wide misty marshy moor, dotted with crumbled gravestones, under the light of the half moon" conveys a lot of detail, because our minds fill in all the details. Did you picture the cold? the swirl of the mist? the half cloud cover blown by the wind flitting in ? the marshy smell and the smell of wet stone? I did, and that wasn't part of the text.
Descriptions should probably be one well structured sentence long, and no more.
And you, as the DM, are interactive - if the Players can't picture aspects of the scene that they feel is needed to paint their full mental picture, they'll ask.
Confrontational
Confrontational about what?
If it's rules, and their application, turn it around and ask your Player "are you sure it works that way? What's the book say?" That puts the onus, and the work, on them, and it's not the DM being a hardass, it's totally the book. Also, be gracious when they are right ;)
Confrontational about Player behavior and shenanigans? Well ... that's possibly a bit warranted as part of the DM's job is managing the table. If you have a Player that's being rude, or disruptive, you need to deal with that. If you think they're acting out because they're bored - ask them about it later in a non-judgmental way. Ask if they're bored, why, and what makes it more interesting for them.
Confrontational about the story? That can be a problem. I try and remember that the world and the initial scenario are mine, the story is theirs. Never say "no, you can't do that", unless you really mean "that wouldn't work", or "that's not how that works" ( if you do, use that last phrase - or "well, you'd know that ... " - and explain why - that's not you being confrontational, that's you explaining what their Character knows, that they as a Player may have forgotten ). If they want to pull some stunt that you'd never thought of, or you think is just plain dumb, roll with it. Have the world react in a logical and plausible way. That's not you tossing the party in jail for burning down the local tavern, that's the local guard detachment throwing them in jail and impounding their stuff.
Some thoughts on getting feedback.
Sorry, but asking your Players will be almost useless here, unless they perceive a problem. Players are there to play a game, or indulge in some escapism. They're not there to critically analyze the game, so they won't have thought about it. If they do start formulating feedback, it's because they are unhappy with something and want to bring it to your attention. The best you'll get from your players is "That was fun", the next best is no feedback at all - that means that no one is unhappy.
Observe and listen to your Players. Are they listening with rapt attention? Re-arranging their dice? Looking at their phones? Asleep? You can tell a lot from just paying attention to how they're reacting, and what they're doing. Not everyone will react positively or be engaged with the same things - read each Player, learn what engages them, accept that it's not likely that you'll ever have content that engages all of them all at once, but keep throwing in things that will engage each Player in turn from time to time.
I haven't done so - but I think recording and listening is a fantastic means for self-evaluating, so long as you have reasonable expectations, and can evaluate whether that aspect that you'd not happy with is really a problem, or whether it's really just an aspect of role playing games as opposed to prose fiction, movies, or video games ( learn what the medium is and judge it on its own terms ).
Talk to other DMs - listen to other DMs. The forums ( here and elsewhere ) are a great resource. It will really help you refine your position, and get good ideas. You can learn things, even from people who you vehemently disagree with ( i.e. the things you don't want to do ).
Keep recording and listening - but only do that sporadically. Makes notes about things to work on, as you're doing. Think about each one - do you really need to change that, how do you want to change it, what will you do to change it? Then compare those notes against listening the next time.
Listen/watch to other games. Sure - professional game streams are great, but remember, you're not a professional ( yet? ;) ) so don't hold yourself to their standard - but listen and learn.
Play as well as DM. Ideally, you do this by playing a series of one-shots or short campaigns, under a series of different DMs. Note what you like about their style, what you don't like about their style, and blatantly steal their techniques, and learn those things you want to winnow out of your style.
At the end of the day, though, remember it's all about having fun.
If you are having fun, and your Players are having fun - you're doing it right. We can always improve, and we can always get better - but if everyone is having fun, then it's never a failure.
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The growing pains of DMing! We all go through them in various ways, from gathering information from our players to, in your case, recording our sessions.There's nothing wrong with seeing your habits and trying to improve the quality of your games. There's also nothing wrong with being human and speaking, or acting, in a natural way to the situations.
Your first question: Have I don't this type of thing, the recording of sessions? Nope, but I am starting a stream of my home game this Saturday so it will now be a tool for me to look at and ask the same questions you are.
I always got my feedback from my players, and I started watching the videos and streams of other DMs. I would ask my players what they thought, I'd engage them in conversation about their characters and the game. I'd listen to the players, and their friends, as they talked about my games. I would also hear comparisons from people about how I DMed in comparison to DMs they'd had. The videos and streams became a tool for me to reflect on what those DMs did that I liked and how I could incorporate some of those things. I would also use those videos to show me the things I would not do at my table. There's always feedback, you just have to look for it and ask for it if you want to find it.
What are ways to get good critical feedback?
This is probably a lot easier than it seems: Ask for what you want. Critical feedback is hard for a lot of people to give because they don't want to present themselves as mean or ungrateful. Simply engage them in conversation with direct questions and an explanation that it will not be taken negatively. The important part is to make your questions concise, otherwise you'll usually get answers that aren't as helpful as you want. "What do you feel should change about my DMing style?" is very open ended and hard to answer if the person can't articulate their thoughts. "Do you think I'm railroading you too much?" or "Do you feel like I don't spend enough time on my descriptions?" are questions that will receive more direct answers that are easier to work with.
My biggest way to improve on my DMing style is to learn how engaged my players are with the story I'm telling. The table will give you many non-verbal cues about their engagement, some blatant, some quite subtle. If your players are building dice towers, they're browsing social media on their phone, or they're spending more time with idle chatter, you're not engaging them. If your players are talking about the game, whether the immediate situation or making plans about what to do with something else on their plate, they're engaged. If your players are describing their actions, rather than just rolling dice and telling you numbers, they're engaged. As you continue to DM you can start to see what it is that they are bored with, or what they're excited about, and adapt your approach to make it more exciting or keep it exciting.
I also listen to the post game chatter, this is probably the most important part for me. After the game wraps up there is always table talk between the players, and sometimes the DM, this is very useful information. If your players are talking about a certain combat, listen to what they say and what they seem excited about, or didn't like. If your players are talking about an interaction they had with Generic NPC Q pay attention, they're giving you input on how to make the world feel more alive. If they're talking about their own character and what they feel needs to change, take note, you can probably give them something in game to make their character feel more personal. If they say something directly to you, then make sure you remember, that is the direct input that you're looking for.
Now that I'm going to be streaming, I'm also going to be watching myself and seeing what I want to improve on. No one is born a prolific actor, no one starts life talking with Tolkein like gravity, the verbal flourishes are a learned thing and take time. Being able to speak with clarity and confidence is also a learned trait, something that comes with time. Creative and deep combats, stories, and social interactions all take work to craft, so the videos and recordings are simply a tool to measure your progress with. Do not despair, they are simply there to help you fine tune your game and become the DM you want to. I, you, and any other DM should only compare your current self to your future ideal self, not to any of the celebrity DMs out there.
My biggest challenge as a DM actually comes as a pair.
First I am not very colorful in my descriptions, I tend to give simple explanations to my players which leads to them dismissing certain emotional triggers or missing vital clues I thought were apparent. Its something I know I struggle with and constantly have to remind myself to work on. I do much better on paper, which is the trick I started to use to help give the deep and detailed descriptions. A simple 3x5 card with the colorful words and evocative imagery, so I can simply look down and recite what I need.
The second is preparation, I am a procrastinator and its a bad habit when you're a DM. I have 3 games I run, my Saturday group every other weekend, my Wednesday group every week, and my Sunday group every other weekend. I find myself, many times, coming up with the details of the session the night before or, at times, hours before the session starts. It's not a good way to go, without a solid plan of action I find myself having to improvise and write a ton of notes, it makes creating a seamless adventure infinitely more difficult.
Both of these things I'm working on, and I'll use any form of input to help improve myself as a DM.
I hope all of this helps you, and here's to many glorious adventures in your future! You will become the DM you aspire to be.
I don't have much to add, except for descriptions. I didn't read everyone's posts because I'm short on time, so if someone has already mentioned this then I'm just doubling down.
First: read lots of novels. It will only help to expand your vocabulary and get ore familiar with different forms of narrative that you can use in your game.
Second: Use pictures. When designing an NPC, I often google images and get a picture of the character. I might google scruffy old bartender, or something similar. And then I can describe the picture with as much detail as if the person was standing in front of me. If there are bits you need to add that are story critical, just add some notes. He might have a twitch, or a scar, or a missing tooth, that you couldn't find just the right picture. This also works for rooms, tunnels, caves, mountains..... A couple of significant points often end up stuck to my side of the DM board. One time I printed out a big mountain range where the next 3-4 sessions would be taking place and put them on the front of my DM board. Easy.
Also, if you can, do some improve/standup drama lessons. They can be really helpful in a number of ways.
I've never thought of recording one of my sessions, and the idea terrifies me, but I can see how it would be extremely beneficial.
Second: Use pictures. When designing an NPC, I often google images and get a picture of the character. I might google scruffy old bartender, or something similar. And then I can describe the picture with as much detail as if the person was standing in front of me. If there are bits you need to add that are story critical, just add some notes. He might have a twitch, or a scar, or a missing tooth, that you couldn't find just the right picture. This also works for rooms, tunnels, caves, mountains..... A couple of significant points often end up stuck to my side of the DM board. One time I printed out a big mountain range where the next 3-4 sessions would be taking place and put them on the front of my DM board. Easy.
This is a really good idea. I do this a lot as well - or I'll jot down the actor or actress that I'd cast for the role it was a movie - that way I can just their description.
So far, no one has noticed the the Exarch of Coria looks like like Mark Addy in season one of Game of Thrones ;)
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#1: You are not Matt Mercer. Do not expect to have his poise, charisma or capability coming out of the gate. I’ve been GMing for 30+ years and I still stumble and say “uhh.” Don’t worry about being someone you’re not. If you’re a professional actor/entertainer, you’ll probably have issues with public speaking for a while. Some of us have never had those problems (lack of modesty or the care of what other people think about you). But, I still “umm” and “uhh” as I think (or am blindsided by something hilarious).
#2: Descriptions can be kept to the specific points. Be sure to hit salient details of the descriptions, but you don’t have to go into exacting detail. When Thane burst into the dining room, I didn’t tell him what all the food on the table was, just identified that it was set up for a feast (oh, and make a Will roll, because you’re injured and hungry) with a huge turkey and let the player’s imagination fill in the rest. The rest of the players added food items and descriptions of events (as the werewolf attacked the feast in a more bloodthirsty manner than he had attacked the enemies he had just dispatched) as the scene continued.
#3: Which brings me to point 3. Let your players do the hard work. Let them add NPCs and events. Let them add places and descriptions. Encourage them to do so. You’ll be surprised with how little work you have to do when you let your players do it. It also helps because it tells you what sort of people they want to interact with and where they want to go.
#4: Part and parcel with number 3, talk to your players and learn what they want. Listen to them. Then give it to them. Talk with them about their wants so you always know and you can tailor the experiences. After every session, I try to ask every one of my players what they want.
#5: Screw practice. Improv improv improv.
#6: This is a social event. It’s a collaborative event. This isn’t the GM telling a story to his friends, this is a group of friends telling a story together. You’re all equal partners. The GM does more work (unless you let your players do the heavy lifting for you), but everyone is equally responsible.
#7: You know, just go pick up copies of John Wick’s Play Dirty books. My advice looks a lot like his, and he’s better at conveying it than I am.
#8: Crud, this should be #1. Eh, lazy, my players aren’t here to renumber it for me. Have fun. If you’re having fun everything else will work itself out.
I'm relatively new to DMing, I tried it a couple times 5 years ago and then I started again and have been mostly weekly for 6 months for my group.
You are right about watching your speech - watch your players, too. I've had nights where players are so frustrated that I cut rooms out of the dungeons I had planned to streamline encounters. There is nothing wrong with making sure the night stays fun for players, and reading their reactions to things definitely helps.
I have learned not to hit my table too hard and to say no to players a lot more than they would like. If players get everything they want, they get bored and the game gets boring - they just win all the time as they munchkin about for us. That's lame - the game needs to be a challenge.
That said, don't beat yourself up. Ask your table for feedback and what they want, and always always always do a "Session Zero" to get your stuff planned out and ready for players. I can't emphasize how much better the quality of a game is when you can rule on matters that will come up well in advance of the game beginning.
I have learned not to hit my table too hard and to say no to players a lot more than they would like. If players get everything they want, they get bored and the game gets boring - they just win all the time as they munchkin about for us. That's lame - the game needs to be a challenge.
I really can’t agree with this. Giving them what they want doesn’t mean giving them all the items they could ever want, but giving them the experience that they want.
In my Infinite Weirdos campaign (Season 1): Pinky got the starship she had been begging for. It’s not the exact ship she wanted, but The Stalwart Empress became the party’s home. Todd found Warmonger and has been becoming a better killer and gunslinger because of the training Warmonger has provided him. Alistair found a group of people who were just as messed up as he was, but, they persevered and now he has a family. Sherry also found a family and people to care about her.
Then the badguys came and kidnapped her at the season finally.
And now, in Season 2, the party has learned that Sherry is being weaponized, and capable of defeating Gods. But, she’s still just an eleven-year-old girl. So, they’re searching for her, and she just slipped through their fingers as they approached the combat incorrectly and got bogged down allowing the Mule to grab her and shift out of the dimension with her (end of last session, the fight is still going on).
If your players are getting bored with getting what they want, then it’s not really what they wanted.
I have learned not to hit my table too hard and to say no to players a lot more than they would like. If players get everything they want, they get bored and the game gets boring - they just win all the time as they munchkin about for us. That's lame - the game needs to be a challenge.
I really can’t agree with this. Giving them what they want doesn’t mean giving them all the items they could ever want, but giving them the experience that they want.
If your players are getting bored with getting what they want, then it’s not really what they wanted.
Your last statement is a more clear way of getting to what I was grasping at - we agree 100% on that.
OH! Also, if you're into doing voices (not everyone is, and that's totally cool), another good tip is model it after a character or real person. Don't use catch phrases, that's not what I mean. But if you wanted someone to sound like they're from the south, you may want to use Forrest Gump. Don't say life is like a box of chocolates etc, but sometimes it's easier to keep an accent or voice if you think of how someone else would say it. If you want to go british, maybe Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers. Or whatever move/tv series you're into. I just picked the most popular/generic I could think of so you get my example. It can sometimes help define how you work with the voice. It's easier to think of "How would Basil say this", than "how would this sound in an English accent".
Just a comment on voices - if you watch streams where the DM incorporates voice acting - not all NPCs have unique voices.
Doing a voice at all can indicate "this is the NPC talking, not the DM".
Which voice can indicate what kind of person is talking - but they don't always have be unique, just indicative of that category of people.
In Critical Role - all Dwarves has the same voice ( Scottish accent ), most towns' guards sound the same, many of the saucy barmaids sound identical - but the accent tells you what their role is in the world.
Some major NPCs have distinct unique accents - Gilmore, Pumat Sol, Vicktor the Black Powder Merchant - but by no means all.
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I think recording your home group will make it seem like it's a kind of performance rather than a few people gathering to play a game and have fun. I have some experience of performing on stage, being recorded on stage and it can be a harrowing experience to watch and listen to it. If you felt extremely awkward and tense listening to the recording, it is very likely that you will always feel that way to a varying degree, no matter how much you try to change your performance. Maybe you will also start to get stage fright before DMing if you keep it up. Both these things can be extremely detrimental to having fun, which is what D&D is supposed to be about. Correct me if I'm wrong.
A DM's ego will often tell him or her that she is special and unique. Great in some way. We can try to hide it with false humility as much as we like, but some of us are always trying to prove ourselves, to become the extra special and admired people that we've always suspected (or somehow even known*) ourselves to be. A recording will expose our perceived flaws and can lead to a sometimes devastating personal dilemma; the conflict between our ego and who we appear to be in the recording. The paradox seems to be that for some of us, the more we try to improve ourselves, the worse the fun ruining perfectionism and stage fright becomes. Or, in many cases we have an ideal; a hero that we want to be like. But we will never be exactly like that person and if we try to imitate him or her too much, it becomes a kind of plagiarism which is regarded by some as one of the most tasteless and pathetic things in art. Its not even funny, like a uniquely bad film.
Some good points there - and now we're verging on the edge of personal psychology and the psychology of self-improvement.
I think recording and listening to yourself critically could work, if-and-only-if:
You can forget or ignore the fact that you're recording.
You can go into it with reasonable exceptions - I want to be the best DM I can be, and improve my craft and not I should be as good as Matt Mercer or Chris Perkins.
You can accept that you're not the world's best DM - but that you can get better.
That when you hear something you don't like, you can critically evaluation whether it's a trend, or just a one off occurrence.
You can accept your shortcomings, and use them as motives to get better, and not take them as personal failings which you get depressed about.
Those are pretty self-aware "grown-up" requirements - and not everyone ( maybe even few people ) can meet them.
But, if you can, I think recording and self-critique could be a very valuable tool.
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Often at the end of the session I'll ask my players what their most favourite/least favourite parts of a session were. This I've found is a good way to open the door for feedback. Other times I'll ask them individually out of session what I as a DM could do to improve. Then again, I'm very self conscious about my DM style as I'm also pretty green, so this might just be a me thing. Still I feel that it helps.
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We just had our third session of a new campaign with all new players yesterday. We got off to a rocky start, but session 2 was pretty good and I had high hopes for #3.
One of my players wasn't able to make it, but his character is pretty straightforward and the player in question didn't mind if we RPed him in his absence. Not wanting him to miss the session entirely, I recorded audio so he could listen to what happened if he wanted to. Overall, the session went pretty well--or so I thought.
I wanted to listen to the recording so I could cut out the fluff since the total time on it was over 6 hours (we took a few small breaks and I left it rolling). As I said, I thought it had all gone pretty well. However, when I started listening, I noticed a lot of things that I didn't like about my DMing style that I had never noticed before. Some of it was small stuff, like how much I say "uhhh..." or talking a little too fast from time to time. But some of it was pretty big, like my descriptions being lackluster or misleading, making dumb calls during the game, or being confrontational at times that don't call for it at all. Turns out I'm not as good a DM as I thought!
Overall, this is shaping up to be an immensely helpful chapter in the the book of my DM career. There's so much that I say and do while DMing that can clearly be improved, and I don't think I ever would have noticed some of these deficiencies if I hadn't gone back and listened to myself. It's also kind of a bummer, but knowing some of the problem areas will make improving at them possible.
So here are my questions for you all, since I'm sure many of you have had similar experiences (especially if you're as green as me).
Have you done this or something like this in the past? What did you learn?
What are other good methods for getting good critical feedback?
What are your favorite ways to improve as a DM? What was the biggest challenge you dealt with in mastering the trade?
Excited for the input! I'm just as interested in stories as I am in getting advice, so please share whatever comes to mind.
The second rule of DMing is probably that everyone does it differently and has their own style.
(The first rule being players rarely do what you expect them to).
My advice is:
To answer your questions though:
As an addendum, I have a dog (or vice versa), so I read books about dogs. Dogs are incredibly aware of what their people are doing. Subtle shifts in body language give telltale signs to all manner of things. Most folks only understand these things subconsciously, but they are useful to practice (ie. stand up straight, be consistent in action, etc). As a GM your players react to your words intellectually, but may get other clues on a more basic level. IE you lean forward while talking to them will predispose them to attacking whatever, whereas you were just stretching your hamstrings :) Don't try to keep all of that in your head at once, but just be aware, and give yourself room to go. None of us are perfect, we just have to be good enough for our groups :)
TLDR: Just make sure everyone is having fun.
"An' things ha' come to a pretty pass, ye ken, if people are going to leave stuff like that aroound where innocent people could accidentally smash the door doon and lever the bars aside and take the big chain off'f the cupboard and pick the lock and drink it!"
Wow - I don't know if I'd have the courage to record and then listen critically to one of my sessions! It is, however, an excellent idea.
Some thoughts about your self-identified issues.
Ums, errs, pauses, and speaking too fast
That not a DM'ing thing, that's a public speaking thing. You mention it's a newer group, so you haven't gotten to the "we're just a bunch of friends sitting around the table having a conversation" stage, yet. That will come with time and experience with this group.
Also - I'm assuming that you're not a professional actor, so don't expect yourself to sound like one. No one else is recording - no one else will remember the presentation. They'll just remember their own imagination, and the events.
Lackluster descriptions
Are you sure?
The goal of a DM setting the scene is not to read a page of descriptive text, where you detail out all the sensory impressions of that scene. What you're trying to is enable the Player to paint their own mental picture of the scene. You can totally cheat by using the Players' imaginations, and expectations. "A wide misty marshy moor, dotted with crumbled gravestones, under the light of the half moon" conveys a lot of detail, because our minds fill in all the details. Did you picture the cold? the swirl of the mist? the half cloud cover blown by the wind flitting in ? the marshy smell and the smell of wet stone? I did, and that wasn't part of the text.
Descriptions should probably be one well structured sentence long, and no more.
And you, as the DM, are interactive - if the Players can't picture aspects of the scene that they feel is needed to paint their full mental picture, they'll ask.
Confrontational
Confrontational about what?
If it's rules, and their application, turn it around and ask your Player "are you sure it works that way? What's the book say?" That puts the onus, and the work, on them, and it's not the DM being a hardass, it's totally the book. Also, be gracious when they are right ;)
Confrontational about Player behavior and shenanigans? Well ... that's possibly a bit warranted as part of the DM's job is managing the table. If you have a Player that's being rude, or disruptive, you need to deal with that. If you think they're acting out because they're bored - ask them about it later in a non-judgmental way. Ask if they're bored, why, and what makes it more interesting for them.
Confrontational about the story? That can be a problem. I try and remember that the world and the initial scenario are mine, the story is theirs. Never say "no, you can't do that", unless you really mean "that wouldn't work", or "that's not how that works" ( if you do, use that last phrase - or "well, you'd know that ... " - and explain why - that's not you being confrontational, that's you explaining what their Character knows, that they as a Player may have forgotten ). If they want to pull some stunt that you'd never thought of, or you think is just plain dumb, roll with it. Have the world react in a logical and plausible way. That's not you tossing the party in jail for burning down the local tavern, that's the local guard detachment throwing them in jail and impounding their stuff.
Some thoughts on getting feedback.
Sorry, but asking your Players will be almost useless here, unless they perceive a problem. Players are there to play a game, or indulge in some escapism. They're not there to critically analyze the game, so they won't have thought about it. If they do start formulating feedback, it's because they are unhappy with something and want to bring it to your attention. The best you'll get from your players is "That was fun", the next best is no feedback at all - that means that no one is unhappy.
Observe and listen to your Players. Are they listening with rapt attention? Re-arranging their dice? Looking at their phones? Asleep? You can tell a lot from just paying attention to how they're reacting, and what they're doing. Not everyone will react positively or be engaged with the same things - read each Player, learn what engages them, accept that it's not likely that you'll ever have content that engages all of them all at once, but keep throwing in things that will engage each Player in turn from time to time.
I haven't done so - but I think recording and listening is a fantastic means for self-evaluating, so long as you have reasonable expectations, and can evaluate whether that aspect that you'd not happy with is really a problem, or whether it's really just an aspect of role playing games as opposed to prose fiction, movies, or video games ( learn what the medium is and judge it on its own terms ).
Talk to other DMs - listen to other DMs. The forums ( here and elsewhere ) are a great resource. It will really help you refine your position, and get good ideas. You can learn things, even from people who you vehemently disagree with ( i.e. the things you don't want to do ).
Keep recording and listening - but only do that sporadically. Makes notes about things to work on, as you're doing. Think about each one - do you really need to change that, how do you want to change it, what will you do to change it? Then compare those notes against listening the next time.
Listen/watch to other games. Sure - professional game streams are great, but remember, you're not a professional ( yet? ;) ) so don't hold yourself to their standard - but listen and learn.
Play as well as DM. Ideally, you do this by playing a series of one-shots or short campaigns, under a series of different DMs. Note what you like about their style, what you don't like about their style, and blatantly steal their techniques, and learn those things you want to winnow out of your style.
At the end of the day, though, remember it's all about having fun.
If you are having fun, and your Players are having fun - you're doing it right. We can always improve, and we can always get better - but if everyone is having fun, then it's never a failure.
Best of luck! :)
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
The growing pains of DMing! We all go through them in various ways, from gathering information from our players to, in your case, recording our sessions.There's nothing wrong with seeing your habits and trying to improve the quality of your games. There's also nothing wrong with being human and speaking, or acting, in a natural way to the situations.
Your first question: Have I don't this type of thing, the recording of sessions? Nope, but I am starting a stream of my home game this Saturday so it will now be a tool for me to look at and ask the same questions you are.
I always got my feedback from my players, and I started watching the videos and streams of other DMs. I would ask my players what they thought, I'd engage them in conversation about their characters and the game. I'd listen to the players, and their friends, as they talked about my games. I would also hear comparisons from people about how I DMed in comparison to DMs they'd had. The videos and streams became a tool for me to reflect on what those DMs did that I liked and how I could incorporate some of those things. I would also use those videos to show me the things I would not do at my table. There's always feedback, you just have to look for it and ask for it if you want to find it.
What are ways to get good critical feedback?
This is probably a lot easier than it seems: Ask for what you want. Critical feedback is hard for a lot of people to give because they don't want to present themselves as mean or ungrateful. Simply engage them in conversation with direct questions and an explanation that it will not be taken negatively. The important part is to make your questions concise, otherwise you'll usually get answers that aren't as helpful as you want. "What do you feel should change about my DMing style?" is very open ended and hard to answer if the person can't articulate their thoughts. "Do you think I'm railroading you too much?" or "Do you feel like I don't spend enough time on my descriptions?" are questions that will receive more direct answers that are easier to work with.
My biggest way to improve on my DMing style is to learn how engaged my players are with the story I'm telling. The table will give you many non-verbal cues about their engagement, some blatant, some quite subtle. If your players are building dice towers, they're browsing social media on their phone, or they're spending more time with idle chatter, you're not engaging them. If your players are talking about the game, whether the immediate situation or making plans about what to do with something else on their plate, they're engaged. If your players are describing their actions, rather than just rolling dice and telling you numbers, they're engaged. As you continue to DM you can start to see what it is that they are bored with, or what they're excited about, and adapt your approach to make it more exciting or keep it exciting.
I also listen to the post game chatter, this is probably the most important part for me. After the game wraps up there is always table talk between the players, and sometimes the DM, this is very useful information. If your players are talking about a certain combat, listen to what they say and what they seem excited about, or didn't like. If your players are talking about an interaction they had with Generic NPC Q pay attention, they're giving you input on how to make the world feel more alive. If they're talking about their own character and what they feel needs to change, take note, you can probably give them something in game to make their character feel more personal. If they say something directly to you, then make sure you remember, that is the direct input that you're looking for.
Now that I'm going to be streaming, I'm also going to be watching myself and seeing what I want to improve on. No one is born a prolific actor, no one starts life talking with Tolkein like gravity, the verbal flourishes are a learned thing and take time. Being able to speak with clarity and confidence is also a learned trait, something that comes with time. Creative and deep combats, stories, and social interactions all take work to craft, so the videos and recordings are simply a tool to measure your progress with. Do not despair, they are simply there to help you fine tune your game and become the DM you want to. I, you, and any other DM should only compare your current self to your future ideal self, not to any of the celebrity DMs out there.
My biggest challenge as a DM actually comes as a pair.
First I am not very colorful in my descriptions, I tend to give simple explanations to my players which leads to them dismissing certain emotional triggers or missing vital clues I thought were apparent. Its something I know I struggle with and constantly have to remind myself to work on. I do much better on paper, which is the trick I started to use to help give the deep and detailed descriptions. A simple 3x5 card with the colorful words and evocative imagery, so I can simply look down and recite what I need.
The second is preparation, I am a procrastinator and its a bad habit when you're a DM. I have 3 games I run, my Saturday group every other weekend, my Wednesday group every week, and my Sunday group every other weekend. I find myself, many times, coming up with the details of the session the night before or, at times, hours before the session starts. It's not a good way to go, without a solid plan of action I find myself having to improvise and write a ton of notes, it makes creating a seamless adventure infinitely more difficult.
Both of these things I'm working on, and I'll use any form of input to help improve myself as a DM.
I hope all of this helps you, and here's to many glorious adventures in your future! You will become the DM you aspire to be.
I don't have much to add, except for descriptions. I didn't read everyone's posts because I'm short on time, so if someone has already mentioned this then I'm just doubling down.
First: read lots of novels. It will only help to expand your vocabulary and get ore familiar with different forms of narrative that you can use in your game.
Second: Use pictures. When designing an NPC, I often google images and get a picture of the character. I might google scruffy old bartender, or something similar. And then I can describe the picture with as much detail as if the person was standing in front of me. If there are bits you need to add that are story critical, just add some notes. He might have a twitch, or a scar, or a missing tooth, that you couldn't find just the right picture. This also works for rooms, tunnels, caves, mountains..... A couple of significant points often end up stuck to my side of the DM board. One time I printed out a big mountain range where the next 3-4 sessions would be taking place and put them on the front of my DM board. Easy.
Also, if you can, do some improve/standup drama lessons. They can be really helpful in a number of ways.
I've never thought of recording one of my sessions, and the idea terrifies me, but I can see how it would be extremely beneficial.
This is a really good idea. I do this a lot as well - or I'll jot down the actor or actress that I'd cast for the role it was a movie - that way I can just their description.
So far, no one has noticed the the Exarch of Coria looks like like Mark Addy in season one of Game of Thrones ;)
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
#1: You are not Matt Mercer. Do not expect to have his poise, charisma or capability coming out of the gate. I’ve been GMing for 30+ years and I still stumble and say “uhh.” Don’t worry about being someone you’re not. If you’re a professional actor/entertainer, you’ll probably have issues with public speaking for a while. Some of us have never had those problems (lack of modesty or the care of what other people think about you). But, I still “umm” and “uhh” as I think (or am blindsided by something hilarious).
#2: Descriptions can be kept to the specific points. Be sure to hit salient details of the descriptions, but you don’t have to go into exacting detail. When Thane burst into the dining room, I didn’t tell him what all the food on the table was, just identified that it was set up for a feast (oh, and make a Will roll, because you’re injured and hungry) with a huge turkey and let the player’s imagination fill in the rest. The rest of the players added food items and descriptions of events (as the werewolf attacked the feast in a more bloodthirsty manner than he had attacked the enemies he had just dispatched) as the scene continued.
#3: Which brings me to point 3. Let your players do the hard work. Let them add NPCs and events. Let them add places and descriptions. Encourage them to do so. You’ll be surprised with how little work you have to do when you let your players do it. It also helps because it tells you what sort of people they want to interact with and where they want to go.
#4: Part and parcel with number 3, talk to your players and learn what they want. Listen to them. Then give it to them. Talk with them about their wants so you always know and you can tailor the experiences. After every session, I try to ask every one of my players what they want.
#5: Screw practice. Improv improv improv.
#6: This is a social event. It’s a collaborative event. This isn’t the GM telling a story to his friends, this is a group of friends telling a story together. You’re all equal partners. The GM does more work (unless you let your players do the heavy lifting for you), but everyone is equally responsible.
#7: You know, just go pick up copies of John Wick’s Play Dirty books. My advice looks a lot like his, and he’s better at conveying it than I am.
#8: Crud, this should be #1. Eh, lazy, my players aren’t here to renumber it for me. Have fun. If you’re having fun everything else will work itself out.
One of my players just pointed out:
"You're not Matt Mercer. Unless you are. Then go you!"
I'm relatively new to DMing, I tried it a couple times 5 years ago and then I started again and have been mostly weekly for 6 months for my group.
You are right about watching your speech - watch your players, too. I've had nights where players are so frustrated that I cut rooms out of the dungeons I had planned to streamline encounters. There is nothing wrong with making sure the night stays fun for players, and reading their reactions to things definitely helps.
I have learned not to hit my table too hard and to say no to players a lot more than they would like. If players get everything they want, they get bored and the game gets boring - they just win all the time as they munchkin about for us. That's lame - the game needs to be a challenge.
That said, don't beat yourself up. Ask your table for feedback and what they want, and always always always do a "Session Zero" to get your stuff planned out and ready for players. I can't emphasize how much better the quality of a game is when you can rule on matters that will come up well in advance of the game beginning.
I really can’t agree with this. Giving them what they want doesn’t mean giving them all the items they could ever want, but giving them the experience that they want.
In my Infinite Weirdos campaign (Season 1): Pinky got the starship she had been begging for. It’s not the exact ship she wanted, but The Stalwart Empress became the party’s home. Todd found Warmonger and has been becoming a better killer and gunslinger because of the training Warmonger has provided him. Alistair found a group of people who were just as messed up as he was, but, they persevered and now he has a family. Sherry also found a family and people to care about her.
Then the badguys came and kidnapped her at the season finally.
And now, in Season 2, the party has learned that Sherry is being weaponized, and capable of defeating Gods. But, she’s still just an eleven-year-old girl. So, they’re searching for her, and she just slipped through their fingers as they approached the combat incorrectly and got bogged down allowing the Mule to grab her and shift out of the dimension with her (end of last session, the fight is still going on).
If your players are getting bored with getting what they want, then it’s not really what they wanted.
Your last statement is a more clear way of getting to what I was grasping at - we agree 100% on that.
OH! Also, if you're into doing voices (not everyone is, and that's totally cool), another good tip is model it after a character or real person. Don't use catch phrases, that's not what I mean. But if you wanted someone to sound like they're from the south, you may want to use Forrest Gump. Don't say life is like a box of chocolates etc, but sometimes it's easier to keep an accent or voice if you think of how someone else would say it. If you want to go british, maybe Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers. Or whatever move/tv series you're into. I just picked the most popular/generic I could think of so you get my example. It can sometimes help define how you work with the voice. It's easier to think of "How would Basil say this", than "how would this sound in an English accent".
Just a comment on voices - if you watch streams where the DM incorporates voice acting - not all NPCs have unique voices.
Doing a voice at all can indicate "this is the NPC talking, not the DM".
Which voice can indicate what kind of person is talking - but they don't always have be unique, just indicative of that category of people.
In Critical Role - all Dwarves has the same voice ( Scottish accent ), most towns' guards sound the same, many of the saucy barmaids sound identical - but the accent tells you what their role is in the world.
Some major NPCs have distinct unique accents - Gilmore, Pumat Sol, Vicktor the Black Powder Merchant - but by no means all.
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
I think recording your home group will make it seem like it's a kind of performance rather than a few people gathering to play a game and have fun. I have some experience of performing on stage, being recorded on stage and it can be a harrowing experience to watch and listen to it. If you felt extremely awkward and tense listening to the recording, it is very likely that you will always feel that way to a varying degree, no matter how much you try to change your performance. Maybe you will also start to get stage fright before DMing if you keep it up. Both these things can be extremely detrimental to having fun, which is what D&D is supposed to be about. Correct me if I'm wrong.
A DM's ego will often tell him or her that she is special and unique. Great in some way. We can try to hide it with false humility as much as we like, but some of us are always trying to prove ourselves, to become the extra special and admired people that we've always suspected (or somehow even known*) ourselves to be. A recording will expose our perceived flaws and can lead to a sometimes devastating personal dilemma; the conflict between our ego and who we appear to be in the recording. The paradox seems to be that for some of us, the more we try to improve ourselves, the worse the fun ruining perfectionism and stage fright becomes. Or, in many cases we have an ideal; a hero that we want to be like. But we will never be exactly like that person and if we try to imitate him or her too much, it becomes a kind of plagiarism which is regarded by some as one of the most tasteless and pathetic things in art. Its not even funny, like a uniquely bad film.
*Aka. Narcissism. Please don't judge!
Some good points there - and now we're verging on the edge of personal psychology and the psychology of self-improvement.
I think recording and listening to yourself critically could work, if-and-only-if:
Those are pretty self-aware "grown-up" requirements - and not everyone ( maybe even few people ) can meet them.
But, if you can, I think recording and self-critique could be a very valuable tool.
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Often at the end of the session I'll ask my players what their most favourite/least favourite parts of a session were. This I've found is a good way to open the door for feedback. Other times I'll ask them individually out of session what I as a DM could do to improve. Then again, I'm very self conscious about my DM style as I'm also pretty green, so this might just be a me thing. Still I feel that it helps.