It's amazing how many of the rules of the table boil down to "don't be a dick & consider other people".
Those seem reasonable ( or at least not overly restrictive ), although most of these either don't apply to most groups I've been in, or that my current group would violate ( I like a good pint of stout while I'm DM'ing ).
My table rules come out of my Session Zero with a new group, and adapt with the groups. This sets tone, allowable, and non-allowable content ( haven't had a group that has told me they found extreme gore or sexual violence to be allowable in the campaign - and that suits me just fine ).
As far as social rules are concerned, it usually is just "respect other Players, don't be a dick, present yourself as you'd want people to present themselves in your home". Cosplay and Weapons have never been an issue.
We had one Player who was hosting the majority of the time, with small children, and with a quiet reserved, but definite religious bent. We adopted "host has control of the Playing space", "don't use profanity if you can help it" ( small child running around ), and I did not bring my stout with me.
Since then, that Player moved to Australia, and our rules have adopted to the new hosts' home - where we still don't swear like sailors, or anything, but I now bring my Stout along.
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Some of these might fall under rules you've already stated, but some obvious ones are:
-Do not touch other players' sheets, pencils, or dice without their permission
-Do not speak over another player in game
-Be constructive in your criticism, not insulting or demeaning
-Be engaged with the DM, the story, and other players, and try to keep external distractions (like social media or ongoing sports events you are following) to a minimum
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Personally, I don't need to prohibit at my table things that are already illegal by law.
Also, unless I am playing at a table with children, then I feel its a bit authoritarian to tell other adults how to behave, personally. If people want to swear like sailors, well, they're an adult. Likewise, if my friends come around to blow off some steam, then who am I to begrudge them a few drinks: disruptive behaviour is disruptive behaviour, but my friends aren't drinking a bottle of rum every game. I don't know who is running all of these dangerous D&D games, but maybe just don't spend time with people who actively endanger their friends while socialising. Like if someone has a habit of parking their truck through your bay windows... maybe don't invite that person. Or if someone brandishes knives or guns while playing. Or if they commit criminal offences, such as stalking. Or if they arrive coked out of their mind. Like why are you spending time with these people that you feel it necessary to prohibit these actions? Or are you spending time with people that if you don't strictly prohibit these actions that they might show up to stalk their fellow players while branding an assault rifle while coked out of their minds and parking the car half way into your living room?
Here's the rules, in my eyes:
Be cool, man.
Sometimes people are *****, but part of being cool is not being a dick when someone is being a dick. Maybe bring some food or beers for the table. Show up on time. Have fun. It's a social event. You don't need a literal contract.
I run games that allow dropisn, so I felt the need to put together a formal list.
The first few items are the most important.
• Do Participate • Don't Be A Dick (Wheaten's Law) • This Is A Safe Space • Trigger Warning • You Are The Heroes • Let People Play Their Character • Know Your Own Character
Also
• Attacking or betraying another character requires the prior permission of every person at the table
Of the three games I currently run, only the lil ones at the PVMS gaming club are habitual dice tower enthusiasts. Most of my players are just setting their latest acquisitions up front so everyone can marvel at their Wyrmwood or artisan dice set. Myself included.
I ran a DND club this summer at a LGBT Youth and Family Resource Center. It was open access to anyone who showed up and wanted to play, regardless of experience level. It was geared towards ages 12-25. I did some research on what kinds of codes of conduct other organizations had used before (e.g. the center itself, 12 step programs, the group therapy circles held at the center, suggestions from XGTE section on shared campaigns, DND in prisons, blog posts about DND clubs at middle schools, etc.) and this is what I came up with. We would pass it around the room and everyone would read one bullet point:
Dungeons and Drag Queens participants agree to the following code of conduct:
Cleanliness. I will not bring food or drink to the map table. I will not touch the maps or materials provided by others with greasy or dirty hands.
Composure. When I or my character encounters misfortune, suffer from bad rolls, or face inconvenient rules, I will accept it gracefully. If I cannot accept it gracefully, I will remove myself until I may. (Sometimes I would interject here and say "It's a great time to go out into the hallway and count down from 10)
Kindness. I will use positive and uplifting language, so all feel welcome. I will support, validate, and encourage myself and others.
Patience. If I am having trouble getting everyone's attention, I will raise my hand and wait for the DM to call on me at an appropriate time.
Professionalism. I will avoid excessive conversation that is not relevant to the adventure. I will listen to others. I will allow others to get attention from the DM.
Punctuality. I will make my best effort to come on time and stay until the end.
Respect. Some people would rather not be identified on social media or outside of our group. I will not take photos or videos.
Rule of thumb: I will not be a buttface.
Everyone's favorite part was the last one. :)
There was also a lot of things I did to help reinforce this uplifting, strict-but-fun culture I wanted to have with the group. When I saw players eating cookies or bananas or chocolate milk or water or stuff at the map table, I'd stop what I was saying, say "Please don't eat or drink at the map table," and continue with what I was doing. It was 0% confrontational and always well-received, and they almost always said "Oops, right!" and either set the snack down or stood up from the table, walked two or three feet away from it, and kept enjoying their snack. I also had all new players read "Our Adventuring Company: A Beginner's Guide." If I had extra time before the session started or if there were several newcomers that day, sometime I'd read it with my in-character voice. It was a one page document I made that said the following:
"Before you begin the official application process, the city government of Waterdeep requires you to read the following statement:
Our company is not responsible for any criminal or dangerous behavior on the part of its employees, subemployees, or interns ("interns"). Interns are responsible to know and abide by all relevant laws. City law requires us to provide a written and legible copy of the Waterdeep Criminal Code for all interns. We have provided one for you to share.
Interns who overtly engage in criminal behavior are quickly cornered and arrested by members of the City Watch. Those charged with committing a crime are brought before a magister to be judged, but advocates might intercede on behalf of the interns. The company is not responsible for false expectations that intern status merits legal advocacy. The company has a very small budget for legal fees, used primarily for the CEO's parking tickets.
Given how strict the laws are in Waterdeep, it's possible that your internship could end with being exiled, sentenced to several years of hard labor, imprisoned, or put to death. If that's how your internship ends, so be it. Hopefully the next intern will fare better*.
(At the bottom of the page) *Dungeon Master's Note: You can totally just make a new intern. :) "
This way, it was made very clear that yes your character IS allowed to be evil and suddenly turn on everyone and try to kill them all. You ARE allowed to live your evil fantasies! Just be aware that the evil-er you are, the more likely you'll be caught, so be prepared to handle the consequences. See: "Composure. When I or my character encounters misfortune, suffer from bad rolls, or face inconvenient rules, I will accept it gracefully." I wanted to make sure it was clear that our group honored individual choice, but also being responsible for your actions.
We also didn't have unnecessarily restrictive rules. Dice towers were allowed. If they fell over and dice went on the floor, people just picked them up. It wasn't an issue. (Note: due to the unique needs of your group, dice towers may actually be inappropriate.) Phones were allowed. Lots of the players used their phones for character sheets and electronic dice, anyways. As long as they weren't being disruptive and were ready to take their turn when it came around, phones weren't a problem. Besides, they tended to stay pretty engaged for the whole 2 hours anyways. (Note: in this group, 1 out of 3 weeks were focused on combat, and we did away with initiatives for the sake of time and simplicity (which was good, we usually had 10-12 people per DM anyways), 1 out of 3 weeks were focused on exploration and noncombat skills, and 1 out of 3 weeks were focused on social and problem solving, so we rarely had the group waiting for a distracted person to take their turn).
The center this club took place at was meant to be a model home for functioning, happy families, friendships, and lives. I wanted this group to set a good example for the players, even though some were older than I am (I'm in my young 20s). The players really enjoyed the uplifting, strict-but-fun, strict-but-reasonable atmosphere. There were other tips and tricks I figured out about how to run large-group (7+ people) DND sessions, but that's a topic for another day.
-Do not touch other players' sheets, pencils, or dice without their permission
I've heard this plenty of times, but: as a GM, I often provide pencils, (pre-gen) sheets, and dice... and I *prefer* players use (and even share) these. Especially since I provide high-contrast dice that can be read across table. I've encountered too many players that bring virtually unreadable dice that slow the game down as they try to decipher (then give up and lie about) their own dice results.
A few less-obvious etiquette items I like:
Sure spotlight time is fun... so don't hog it. Everyone should get equal spotlight time, so don't try get more by going off on your own (or at least: expect to get 5 minutes solo time while the rest of the party gets 20 minutes together).
Be ready on your turn.
Let others see your dice roll. Immediately picking of the dice and saying it was a high result is something cheaters do, so don't let people suspect that.
PVP is not option (unless given permission). Ok, that was mentioned earlier
I run games that allow dropisn, so I felt the need to put together a formal list.
The first few items are the most important.
• Do Participate • Don't Be A Dick (Wheaten's Law) • This Is A Safe Space • Trigger Warning • You Are The Heroes • Let People Play Their Character • Know Your Own Character
Also
• Attacking or betraying another character requires the prior permission of every person at the table
Interesting. D&D players don't strike as the kind of people who need safe spaces and trigger warnings.
I run games that allow dropisn, so I felt the need to put together a formal list.
The first few items are the most important.
• Do Participate • Don't Be A Dick (Wheaten's Law) • This Is A Safe Space • Trigger Warning • You Are The Heroes • Let People Play Their Character • Know Your Own Character
Also
• Attacking or betraying another character requires the prior permission of every person at the table
Interesting. D&D players don't strike as the kind of people who need safe spaces and trigger warnings.
The times, they are a-changin'...
Most RPGs have a couple of paragraphs on creating safe spaces at the end of the book. Even the newest release of Vampire, a horror game, where the game revolves around a loss of humanity and the act of feeding for the past couple hundred years has been a metaphor for sexual assault, now says that the game shouldn't really have non-consensual feeding (either through force or removing the person's ability to consent) or depict neo-nazis as human. Now I have no sympathy for neo-nazis, but in a game world that is described "like ours but universally bleak" and in a game where people are literally playing monsters who use humans as cattle, I think being a vampire at all is a worse moral quality than being a nazi. Not that nazis aren't bad: they're figuratively monsters. However, the game revolves around people playing literal monsters. As in what we compare people like that to illustrate how awful those particular humans are. Logically, this seems weird to me.
Ultimately, I think it harms the narrative to pull narrative punches being the subject is challenging. That said, we have long been tailoring our content to our audiences in terms of providing players what they want to see in the stories and if you were playing at a table with kids, you wouldn't prepare exactly the same content as you could with adults. Maybe you wouldn't cut much, but I suspect that most people would swear less around children. It's not so much different than that, I don't think. It's really things we already do, but people feel the need to explicitly to say it because it's politically trendy over the past couple of years. That said, while playing organised play D&D, I have been exposed to members of the community who fit the classical nerd stereotype of having zero social graces. So maybe some people need to be told to not misbehave.
This is why - I believe - Session Zero should cover Player boundaries.
In home games, I don't think you should pull narrative punches or water down your content in the fears that you might offend someone; know your Players well enough (or at least communicate up front enough) to know what themes and scenes you can put in without bothering anyone - and then fully commit to the narrative needs for what you've chosen within those limits.
In the case of the OP - or other people in this thread - who are running "pick up games" where you can't predict ahead of time who will be there, you do kind of have to pitch your game to the safest-common-denominator. That's just the nature of not being able to get to know your Players ahead of time.
In general I would rather not play Vampire: The Masquerade with a Player who is going to trigger on the in-world realities of non-consensual assault, than water down the game. I wouldn't ease them out of the group; it's just that V:tM isn't a good fit for that group.
That's OK. That's not a problem, and that Player isn't an issue to solve. I don't view small children near the gaming table to be an imposition on my language, and I don't fret that I can't tell dirty jokes when I go to my parents for dinner. We adapt to social context.
There's always Mage: The Ascension, and we'll just downplay the Nephandi.
I don't know if the times are changing - people are people - we're just having the situations that have always existed be more in the open, and less in the shadows.
There isn't - and probably never was - a D&D Player "kind of people". RPGs have gone semi-mainstream. There are literally a lot more people at the table these days, and invisible minorities of ones and two are now becoming a noticeable sized population
Personally, I'll take the current interest and Player boom, if it's only at the cost of asking a new Player a few more questions, and not being a dick towards them.
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
I run games that allow dropisn, so I felt the need to put together a formal list.
The first few items are the most important.
• Do Participate • Don't Be A Dick (Wheaten's Law) • This Is A Safe Space • Trigger Warning • You Are The Heroes • Let People Play Their Character • Know Your Own Character
Also
• Attacking or betraying another character requires the prior permission of every person at the table
Interesting. D&D players don't strike as the kind of people who need safe spaces and trigger warnings.
A much wider variety of people play DND now. 5e is the single most accessible form yet.
Some people legitimately need trigger warnings, etc. I have complex PTSD. I really appreciate it when people warn me that content in something might unexpectedly send me cascading into overwhelming feelings of fear and pain.
Some people who request trigger warnings, etc. are just being whiny.
I don't know what the proportions are, among those who advocate for trigger warnings and stuff. I think they're useful for people like me. I think some other people abuse them and just can't handle it when people disagree with them. I don't know what the percentages are.
I run almost all homebrew campaigns and I always do a session zero. One of the things I always tell new players is that I tend to run more gritty and realistic campaigns. that will from time to time feature R rated content, and that for me as DM nothing is off the table. I also make it known that if they have anything they wish not to be discussed they need to tell me during the session zero or immediately after via PM. If they do then I won't touch it. If through the course of play something becomes too much they may ask for the table to stop and we will go to break and come back with a new focus. I also make it clear that if a player begins exploring an R rated theme that they may do so but if they are asked to stop they must. Finally, I also have the rules that if a player consistently seeks to explore extreme content when it is not the focus or story appropriate they will be asked to leave the group and that if a player is consistently asking for the game to stop do to content triggering them they will be asked to leave the group.
I've run this policy for 5 years now and have never once had to ask someone to leave a group or had a player ask for content to stop mid-session.
The point being that because I let my players know that I tend to run adult-oriented games that freely explore several themes I never put them in a situation they are not prepared to handle. By all means, explore darker themes but let the players know from the beginning that this is what could come up. NEVER surprise players by going down a dark path when it was not previously discussed.
This has worked well for me, I've actually had 3 players come to me and tell me that being able to defeat Villains who were abusive or sexually violent or extremely racist has helped them deal with things in their own personal lives. Maybe I've just been lucky with my players.
Staring a new D&D classes in a few weeks and the first section will be Common Etiquette/Rules.
I beleive that some street people who can be good players needs some basic education.
What are your regular house rules(outside of roleplaying) for gaming with people(this is instore and possible with kids).
Some Examples I currently have.
1. No drinking, smoking, or using drugs
2. No Weapons
3. Wear appropriate clothing, Cosplay is allowed but must be tasteful.
4. Proper Hygiene Required . No Excessive Body odors such as smoke, perfume, deodorant... etc
5. No excessive profanity(accident happens), especially no religion, politics, lifestyle bashing.
6. No annoying, stalking, or harassing is allowed.
7. Law of the land applies to all players.
8. Set your phone to either no sound or vibrate. Excessive calls may have you remove from the game.
9. DM has the right to refuse anyone from the game due to consideration and safety of all the players.
In the past few weeks, I had people visiting my games and had issues with these rules. So I am trying to nip these issues in the bud.
It's amazing how many of the rules of the table boil down to "don't be a dick & consider other people".
Those seem reasonable ( or at least not overly restrictive ), although most of these either don't apply to most groups I've been in, or that my current group would violate ( I like a good pint of stout while I'm DM'ing ).
My table rules come out of my Session Zero with a new group, and adapt with the groups. This sets tone, allowable, and non-allowable content ( haven't had a group that has told me they found extreme gore or sexual violence to be allowable in the campaign - and that suits me just fine ).
As far as social rules are concerned, it usually is just "respect other Players, don't be a dick, present yourself as you'd want people to present themselves in your home". Cosplay and Weapons have never been an issue.
We had one Player who was hosting the majority of the time, with small children, and with a quiet reserved, but definite religious bent. We adopted "host has control of the Playing space", "don't use profanity if you can help it" ( small child running around ), and I did not bring my stout with me.
Since then, that Player moved to Australia, and our rules have adopted to the new hosts' home - where we still don't swear like sailors, or anything, but I now bring my Stout along.
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Some of these might fall under rules you've already stated, but some obvious ones are:
-Do not touch other players' sheets, pencils, or dice without their permission
-Do not speak over another player in game
-Be constructive in your criticism, not insulting or demeaning
-Be engaged with the DM, the story, and other players, and try to keep external distractions (like social media or ongoing sports events you are following) to a minimum
Three-time Judge of the Competition of the Finest Brews! Come join us in making fun, unique homebrew and voting for your favorite entries!
Personally, I don't need to prohibit at my table things that are already illegal by law.
Also, unless I am playing at a table with children, then I feel its a bit authoritarian to tell other adults how to behave, personally. If people want to swear like sailors, well, they're an adult. Likewise, if my friends come around to blow off some steam, then who am I to begrudge them a few drinks: disruptive behaviour is disruptive behaviour, but my friends aren't drinking a bottle of rum every game. I don't know who is running all of these dangerous D&D games, but maybe just don't spend time with people who actively endanger their friends while socialising. Like if someone has a habit of parking their truck through your bay windows... maybe don't invite that person. Or if someone brandishes knives or guns while playing. Or if they commit criminal offences, such as stalking. Or if they arrive coked out of their mind. Like why are you spending time with these people that you feel it necessary to prohibit these actions? Or are you spending time with people that if you don't strictly prohibit these actions that they might show up to stalk their fellow players while branding an assault rifle while coked out of their minds and parking the car half way into your living room?
Here's the rules, in my eyes:
Be cool, man.
Sometimes people are *****, but part of being cool is not being a dick when someone is being a dick. Maybe bring some food or beers for the table. Show up on time. Have fun. It's a social event. You don't need a literal contract.
I run games that allow dropisn, so I felt the need to put together a formal list.
The first few items are the most important.
• Do Participate
• Don't Be A Dick (Wheaten's Law)
• This Is A Safe Space
• Trigger Warning
• You Are The Heroes
• Let People Play Their Character
• Know Your Own Character
Also
• Attacking or betraying another character requires the prior permission of every person at the table
DO NOT BUILD DICE TOWERS!
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Never tell me the DC.
Ha!
Of the three games I currently run, only the lil ones at the PVMS gaming club are habitual dice tower enthusiasts. Most of my players are just setting their latest acquisitions up front so everyone can marvel at their Wyrmwood or artisan dice set. Myself included.
I ran a DND club this summer at a LGBT Youth and Family Resource Center. It was open access to anyone who showed up and wanted to play, regardless of experience level. It was geared towards ages 12-25. I did some research on what kinds of codes of conduct other organizations had used before (e.g. the center itself, 12 step programs, the group therapy circles held at the center, suggestions from XGTE section on shared campaigns, DND in prisons, blog posts about DND clubs at middle schools, etc.) and this is what I came up with. We would pass it around the room and everyone would read one bullet point:
Dungeons and Drag Queens participants agree to the following code of conduct:
Everyone's favorite part was the last one. :)
There was also a lot of things I did to help reinforce this uplifting, strict-but-fun culture I wanted to have with the group. When I saw players eating cookies or bananas or chocolate milk or water or stuff at the map table, I'd stop what I was saying, say "Please don't eat or drink at the map table," and continue with what I was doing. It was 0% confrontational and always well-received, and they almost always said "Oops, right!" and either set the snack down or stood up from the table, walked two or three feet away from it, and kept enjoying their snack. I also had all new players read "Our Adventuring Company: A Beginner's Guide." If I had extra time before the session started or if there were several newcomers that day, sometime I'd read it with my in-character voice. It was a one page document I made that said the following:
"Before you begin the official application process, the city government of Waterdeep requires you to read the following statement:
Our company is not responsible for any criminal or dangerous behavior on the part of its employees, subemployees, or interns ("interns"). Interns are responsible to know and abide by all relevant laws. City law requires us to provide a written and legible copy of the Waterdeep Criminal Code for all interns. We have provided one for you to share.
Interns who overtly engage in criminal behavior are quickly cornered and arrested by members of the City Watch. Those charged with committing a crime are brought before a magister to be judged, but advocates might intercede on behalf of the interns. The company is not responsible for false expectations that intern status merits legal advocacy. The company has a very small budget for legal fees, used primarily for the CEO's parking tickets.
Given how strict the laws are in Waterdeep, it's possible that your internship could end with being exiled, sentenced to several years of hard labor, imprisoned, or put to death. If that's how your internship ends, so be it. Hopefully the next intern will fare better*.
(At the bottom of the page) *Dungeon Master's Note: You can totally just make a new intern. :) "
This way, it was made very clear that yes your character IS allowed to be evil and suddenly turn on everyone and try to kill them all. You ARE allowed to live your evil fantasies! Just be aware that the evil-er you are, the more likely you'll be caught, so be prepared to handle the consequences. See: "Composure. When I or my character encounters misfortune, suffer from bad rolls, or face inconvenient rules, I will accept it gracefully." I wanted to make sure it was clear that our group honored individual choice, but also being responsible for your actions.
We also didn't have unnecessarily restrictive rules. Dice towers were allowed. If they fell over and dice went on the floor, people just picked them up. It wasn't an issue. (Note: due to the unique needs of your group, dice towers may actually be inappropriate.) Phones were allowed. Lots of the players used their phones for character sheets and electronic dice, anyways. As long as they weren't being disruptive and were ready to take their turn when it came around, phones weren't a problem. Besides, they tended to stay pretty engaged for the whole 2 hours anyways. (Note: in this group, 1 out of 3 weeks were focused on combat, and we did away with initiatives for the sake of time and simplicity (which was good, we usually had 10-12 people per DM anyways), 1 out of 3 weeks were focused on exploration and noncombat skills, and 1 out of 3 weeks were focused on social and problem solving, so we rarely had the group waiting for a distracted person to take their turn).
The center this club took place at was meant to be a model home for functioning, happy families, friendships, and lives. I wanted this group to set a good example for the players, even though some were older than I am (I'm in my young 20s). The players really enjoyed the uplifting, strict-but-fun, strict-but-reasonable atmosphere. There were other tips and tricks I figured out about how to run large-group (7+ people) DND sessions, but that's a topic for another day.
I've heard this plenty of times, but: as a GM, I often provide pencils, (pre-gen) sheets, and dice... and I *prefer* players use (and even share) these. Especially since I provide high-contrast dice that can be read across table. I've encountered too many players that bring virtually unreadable dice that slow the game down as they try to decipher (then give up and lie about) their own dice results.
A few less-obvious etiquette items I like:
Those rules you mentioned just boil down to basic courtesy.
I've personally never had to deal with people like that.
If this happens to you on a regular basis, I would find a different store to play in, because it seems to attract social misfits...
Interesting. D&D players don't strike as the kind of people who need safe spaces and trigger warnings.
The times, they are a-changin'...
Most RPGs have a couple of paragraphs on creating safe spaces at the end of the book. Even the newest release of Vampire, a horror game, where the game revolves around a loss of humanity and the act of feeding for the past couple hundred years has been a metaphor for sexual assault, now says that the game shouldn't really have non-consensual feeding (either through force or removing the person's ability to consent) or depict neo-nazis as human. Now I have no sympathy for neo-nazis, but in a game world that is described "like ours but universally bleak" and in a game where people are literally playing monsters who use humans as cattle, I think being a vampire at all is a worse moral quality than being a nazi. Not that nazis aren't bad: they're figuratively monsters. However, the game revolves around people playing literal monsters. As in what we compare people like that to illustrate how awful those particular humans are. Logically, this seems weird to me.
Ultimately, I think it harms the narrative to pull narrative punches being the subject is challenging. That said, we have long been tailoring our content to our audiences in terms of providing players what they want to see in the stories and if you were playing at a table with kids, you wouldn't prepare exactly the same content as you could with adults. Maybe you wouldn't cut much, but I suspect that most people would swear less around children. It's not so much different than that, I don't think. It's really things we already do, but people feel the need to explicitly to say it because it's politically trendy over the past couple of years. That said, while playing organised play D&D, I have been exposed to members of the community who fit the classical nerd stereotype of having zero social graces. So maybe some people need to be told to not misbehave.
This is why - I believe - Session Zero should cover Player boundaries.
In home games, I don't think you should pull narrative punches or water down your content in the fears that you might offend someone; know your Players well enough (or at least communicate up front enough) to know what themes and scenes you can put in without bothering anyone - and then fully commit to the narrative needs for what you've chosen within those limits.
In the case of the OP - or other people in this thread - who are running "pick up games" where you can't predict ahead of time who will be there, you do kind of have to pitch your game to the safest-common-denominator. That's just the nature of not being able to get to know your Players ahead of time.
In general I would rather not play Vampire: The Masquerade with a Player who is going to trigger on the in-world realities of non-consensual assault, than water down the game. I wouldn't ease them out of the group; it's just that V:tM isn't a good fit for that group.
That's OK. That's not a problem, and that Player isn't an issue to solve. I don't view small children near the gaming table to be an imposition on my language, and I don't fret that I can't tell dirty jokes when I go to my parents for dinner. We adapt to social context.
There's always Mage: The Ascension, and we'll just downplay the Nephandi.
I don't know if the times are changing - people are people - we're just having the situations that have always existed be more in the open, and less in the shadows.
There isn't - and probably never was - a D&D Player "kind of people". RPGs have gone semi-mainstream. There are literally a lot more people at the table these days, and invisible minorities of ones and two are now becoming a noticeable sized population
Personally, I'll take the current interest and Player boom, if it's only at the cost of asking a new Player a few more questions, and not being a dick towards them.
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
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We play games at the roleplaying club at the local university. Those two are part of the university's rules for use of their premises.
Also, my games have covered a couple of sensitive topics most recently, suicide).
A much wider variety of people play DND now. 5e is the single most accessible form yet.
Some people legitimately need trigger warnings, etc. I have complex PTSD. I really appreciate it when people warn me that content in something might unexpectedly send me cascading into overwhelming feelings of fear and pain.
Some people who request trigger warnings, etc. are just being whiny.
I don't know what the proportions are, among those who advocate for trigger warnings and stuff. I think they're useful for people like me. I think some other people abuse them and just can't handle it when people disagree with them. I don't know what the percentages are.
I run almost all homebrew campaigns and I always do a session zero. One of the things I always tell new players is that I tend to run more gritty and realistic campaigns. that will from time to time feature R rated content, and that for me as DM nothing is off the table. I also make it known that if they have anything they wish not to be discussed they need to tell me during the session zero or immediately after via PM. If they do then I won't touch it. If through the course of play something becomes too much they may ask for the table to stop and we will go to break and come back with a new focus. I also make it clear that if a player begins exploring an R rated theme that they may do so but if they are asked to stop they must. Finally, I also have the rules that if a player consistently seeks to explore extreme content when it is not the focus or story appropriate they will be asked to leave the group and that if a player is consistently asking for the game to stop do to content triggering them they will be asked to leave the group.
I've run this policy for 5 years now and have never once had to ask someone to leave a group or had a player ask for content to stop mid-session.
The point being that because I let my players know that I tend to run adult-oriented games that freely explore several themes I never put them in a situation they are not prepared to handle. By all means, explore darker themes but let the players know from the beginning that this is what could come up. NEVER surprise players by going down a dark path when it was not previously discussed.
This has worked well for me, I've actually had 3 players come to me and tell me that being able to defeat Villains who were abusive or sexually violent or extremely racist has helped them deal with things in their own personal lives. Maybe I've just been lucky with my players.